BOOKS FOR KINDLING

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(Phone rings)

Bookseller: Hello?

Customer: Hi. I was wondering if you could help me. I’m looking for a book for my niece. She’s six and I’ve no idea what to buy her.

Bookseller: Sure. What kinds of things is she into?

Customer: I don’t really know. I don’t see her very often—my sister lives abroad.

Bookseller: Ok, what’s her name?

Customer: Sophie.

Bookseller: Ah, well, have you considered the Dick King Smith Sophie series? There’s even a book called Sophie’s Six.

Customer: Ok, sure, that sounds like a good idea.

Bookseller: Do you want me to double check that we have those in stock? I’m pretty sure we do.

Customer: No, it’s ok. I’m just going to order them online.

Bookseller: But… we just gave you the recommendation.

Customer: I know, and I appreciate it. It’s such a pain Amazon doesn’t have a function for that. But I know I can rely on you guys for advice.

Bookseller: …

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Customer: I’m from out of town. Can I recharge my Kindle here?

Tom Campbell
The Regulator Bookshop, Durham, NC

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Customer: Do you sell any books with instructions for how to use my Kindle?

Carolyn Hutton
A Great Good Place for Books, Oakland, CA

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Customer (while walking up to the counter): Wow! I didn’t realize books were still so popular!

Bookseller: …

Anonymous

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Customer: I just don’t like my Kindle. I like real books. They are like cozy blankets to me.

Mary Jane Reed
G. J. Ford Bookshop, St. Simons, GA

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Customer: Hello, I’d like a copy of The Water Babies, with nice illustrations. But I don’t want to pay a lot of money for it, so could you show me what editions you have so I can look at them, and then I can go and find one online?

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Bookseller: Can I help you find something?

Customer: No, I have an e-reader. I’m just here to get ideas and see what’s new.

Anonymous

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Customer: So where do all these books come from? Do you get them from Amazon?

Leslie Hawkins
Spellbound Children’s Bookshop, Asheville, NC

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Customer (inclining her head): How are you guys doing?

Bookseller: Oh, we’re clinging on.

Customer: Oh you poor dears, it’s this Kindle!

Bookseller: Well, really, it’s the supermarkets making people think that books aren’t worth paying money for.

Customer: I hadn’t thought of it like that. It is terrible, isn’t it?

(five minutes later)

Customer: How much is this book?

Bookseller: That’s $10.

Customer: Could I have it for $5?

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Customer: Do you guys sell used e-books?

Bookseller (laughing): No…

Customer (angrily): Why not?

Kat Bailey
Bookshop Santa Cruz, Santa Cruz, CA

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Customer: Can I return an e-book I bought from another bookstore to you?

Kate Weiss-Duncan
Penguin Bookshop, Sewickley, PA

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Customer: Hi.

Bookseller: Hi there, how can I help?

Customer: Could you please explain Kindle to me.

Bookseller: Sure. It’s an e-reader, which means you download books and read them on a small hand-held computer.

Customer: Oh, ok, I see. So … this Kindle. Are the books on that paperback or hardback?

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