Eric moved in a circle on the mat. It looked like he was skipping sideways. He threw punches. Each punch came faster than the last.
Many students had left the center. A few still practiced moves on the mats.
“You okay?” Sensei Chen asked.
Eric had been focused. He hadn’t seen him walk over. “Yeah,” he said.
“You sure?”
Eric eyed Sensei Chen. He moved in another circle. Then he stopped. “Everything’s fine,” he stated.
“I’m not so sure it is,” Sensei Chen said. “You haven’t seemed right. You still never addressed what happened—”
“It was just a bad day, okay?” Eric interrupted.
“Okay.” Sensei’s tone was even. He never raised his voice. “It may be time for you to find another dojo.” Then he walked away.
“What?” Eric couldn’t believe it. “Why?”
Sensei Chen turned around. “You tell me? Does this have anything to do with the tournament? About the possibility of competing against your friend Dan?”
Eric didn’t want to talk. But he had to. Sensei insisted on openness.
“My dad doesn’t want me in the tournament,” he said. His voice was low. Eric didn’t want anybody to overhear. “Dan’s going to have a lot of attention. My dad thinks it’s going to make me look bad.”
“What do you think?”
“I don’t know,” Eric said. “But I want to be in the tournament.”
“Our creed is honesty, integrity and intensity,” Sensei said. “I understand your situation, Eric. What I’m not going to allow is dishonesty. You are being dishonest with yourself. Speak the truth. At least Dan’s being real.”
Eric knew Sensei Chen was right. He hadn’t been honest with himself. Being around Dan was fun. He liked the guy.
That wasn’t wrong.
Eric was scared of other people’s opinions. He was worried about the tournament. Acknowledge the fear. Move on. Things would still be difficult. Eventually everything would be fine.
He could harness the fear—use it.
“You’re a great person, Eric,” Sensei Chen said. “Probably my finest student. If I didn’t talk to you about this, I’d be dishonest. You have the intensity of this dojo down. It seems like you need to work on honesty and integrity.”