Mariana knew from the moment she descended the stairs on her father’s arm that she did not fit in this society. Not that she was in any way unfit, for despite Eugenia’s complaints, Mariana had learned her lessons well. She was as gracious and refined as many of the young ladies present, and what she lacked in this area she made up for in the simplicity of her charm, her winning smile, and her genuine manner.
But she simply did not enjoy herself in such company. Conversation was shallow, meaningless flattery was rampant, and few of those present ever looked anyone in the eye. Laughter was formal and restrained, if there was any at all; the food was little appreciated, even though it was such a feast as Mariana had never before seen.
It was supposed to be a party, but no one seemed to be having any fun.
Eugenia and Dmitri seemed to think it a grand success, but Mariana kept remembering the riotous gatherings in Katyk. True, there was sometimes too much vodka and the men often got drunk, but aside from that no one would question that everyone had a good time. Perhaps the difference was that here all the guests seemed too worried about making certain impressions, saying the right things to the right people, and avoiding committing any mistake that could tarnish their social standing.
The bright spot was Daniel who, though well accustomed to society affairs, said he’d never much enjoyed them himself.
While they were dancing to a Strauss waltz, she voiced her insights to him.
“Believe me,” he said, “society is the same the world over.”
“But you’re not shallow and empty, Daniel.”
“What would you expect from a saintly, perfect specimen such as myself?” He grinned playfully.
“You know what I mean. You may not be perfect, but you are real, and that is the difference.”
“I’m sure you’d find that true with at least some of these people if you got them alone. You know, mob influence, and all.”
“Maybe you’re right.” She didn’t sound completely convinced. But of one thing she was certain. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come, Daniel. You are like an oasis in a desert to me.”
“Do you think I would have missed this?” He drew her closer and gazed down at her. “You have been my oasis, Mariana. I came a stranger to this land, wondering if I’d ever fit in, or find a home—and I found you! You have taught me to love Russia, Mariana, even as I have come to love . . . you!”
“Oh, Daniel!” She didn’t know what else to say.
“This isn’t exactly how I wanted to say this, Mariana, but, let’s face it . . . this was inevitable and I’m glad it’s out.”
“Let’s go outside a moment, Daniel. They’ve got the terrace lit up for the guests. Perhaps we ought to talk.”
A servant was sent to retrieve their wraps, and once they were adequately bundled up, they went outside. Only a handful of guests had ventured out-of-doors, for even in March it was cold and snow still covered the ground. It was not difficult to find a secluded little nook. The terrace and surrounding garden was not large, but if they spoke in quiet tones they could talk without being heard. None of the others present were interested in eavesdropping, anyway.
The cobblestone floor of the terrace had been swept clean of snow, and baskets of fresh flowers and greenery had been set all around. If one did not look too far out onto the still-barren garden, it almost seemed as if spring had fully come. The chill in the air quickly dispelled that notion, but it was a lovely setting nonetheless.
Mariana and Daniel found a vacant bench and sat down. They were quiet for a moment until Mariana realized how much she enjoyed having Daniel close to her.
“You were right, Daniel, about what you said before—this was bound to happen. We have become close. Yet, to think that someone as special as you should feel that way toward me . . . it’s very flattering.”
“I don’t mean to flatter, Mariana. It was my clumsy way of expressing my heart. I guess I can write this kind of stuff better than I can say it.”
Her own heart was pounding. Why couldn’t she just accept his words and leave it at that? Why spoil it with the truth . . . if indeed it was still the truth. She should have told Daniel about Stephan long ago. She just hadn’t planned on becoming so close to Daniel. She hadn’t even liked him much at first. But he was so attentive and interested in her, it was easy to forget his tendency toward arrogance. What did she owe Stephan, anyway? At least Daniel paid attention to her and wasn’t wrapped up in his own life as Stephan was.
“Daniel, I care a great deal for you also. More than I ever wanted to. But I am so confused lately. So much has changed for me. Sometimes there are aspects of my old life that I miss . . . and wish I could have back. But my new life is an exciting adventure, too, and I anticipate what’s ahead for me. Don’t you see, this is no time for me to be making commitments—that is, serious commitments to men. Sometimes things are so muddled for me, I just don’t know what I want.”
“Listen, Mariana, you don’t have to worry about that—I’m not ready for marriage, either. But I can’t help how I feel about you. Let’s just be open to . . . well, to whatever happens.”
“Daniel! My father would never—”
“Hold on, Mariana! I didn’t mean . . . What kind of guy do you take me for?”
“Well, it just sounded like—”
But before she could finish, they were interrupted.
“There you are Countess Remizov. I was told my name was on your dance program and was wondering if you might honor me at this time?”
Mariana looked up, and several emotions colored her expression all at once—annoyance at this misunderstanding with Daniel, then frustration at being intruded upon. The unresolved problem remained hanging over them, yet her dismay was tempered by relief that they had been saved from having to confront the awkward topic. But the emotion that overwhelmed all the others was shock and revulsion at the person addressing her. It was Karl Vlasenko.