Chapter 21

Risks and Rewards

She had drawn so many protective circles in the last few weeks that she’d started seeing them in her dreams.

Elena carefully finished the final glyph, trying to convince herself that this current circle would be her last one. It certainly qualified as her most complex, incorporating a few command glyphs used by the ancient evil sorcerers and a secondary protective circle often used by witches. She’d shut herself up in her mother’s workroom early that morning so she would have extra time to work on it, the necessary reference books laid out open around her. The result was as close to perfect as human hands were capable of.

Of course, the circle wasn’t what she was worried about. The sealing spell had been a last-minute addition to a hastily put-together plan, most commonly used to add more weight to a witness’s statement in a court case. Unfortunately, it had fallen out of favor because it didn’t work on people who truly didn’t believe they had broken their vow.

She wasn’t sure how even Nigel could manage that particular trick, but she’d failed to predict what he was capable of before. Either way, it was a risk she would simply have to be ready to deal with on her own. Their current plan wasn’t great, but she wasn’t sure she had the courage for another one.

Elena sighed, sitting back on her heels. Honestly, she hadn’t truly felt brave enough for even this attempt. But she would have done just about anything to stop the pain she’d seen in Cam’s eyes.

You wanted to give up.

She took one more look at the picture of the witch’s circle to double-check that her mirroring was accurate. The adaptation she’d made was listed in the spell book’s notes, but it was so rarely used the author hadn’t thought to make an illustration of it.

Shaking her head, she brushed away one of the tiny lines and redrew it with a small adjustment. If by some miracle she survived all this, Elena promised herself she’d have a talk with author.

She heard the door open, then a familiar voice. “Even Dame Kadrey would have to be impressed with that circle.”

Elena looked up from her work, smiling at the sight of Robbie standing in the workroom doorway. She hadn’t wanted to include him in the spell itself—too many people were already too close to danger—but she’d asked for suggestions about what elements to incorporate. “Come take a closer look.” She waved him over. “I’d like to get a second opinion.”

He looked surprised, then pleased, and quickly closed the door behind him. “You’ve worked with mixed magic more than I have.” Still, he crossed the room and knelt down by the circle, giving it a thorough study. “I like how you structured it. The two circles should work together rather than draining each other’s energy.” He moved a hand closer to the chalked patterns, fingers hovering over one of the witchcraft-based elements. “You don’t see the thorn circle used a lot. Witches don’t tend to pull that one out unless they’re going to battle.”

She heard the question in his voice, phrased carefully enough that she could ignore it if she wanted to. “I thought it worked best with the glyphs Braeth gave me,” she explained, gesturing to one of the symbols in question. “Their energy is dark enough that I needed a protective spell that wouldn’t be overwhelmed.”

Robbie nodded, ever the attentive student. “That’s a lot of protection, though.” When Elena didn’t respond this time, he lifted his head to look at her. “The thorns are in both directions. That means you’re watching out for offensive spells inside the circle, too.”

More unspoken questions, harder to evade than the last ones. If Robbie ever decided to abandon witchcraft and join the police force, he’d be an intimidating interrogator. “Not that anyone was willing to provide me with diagrams. I had to do the mirroring from written notes, which was incredibly frustrating. You’d think no one cared about properly educating future generations.”

“Elena.” Robbie said her name exactly like Cam did when he was being serious, which was the last thing her control needed right now. “If you’re worried that your aunt might try something, or the sealing won’t be enough to keep Nigel in line—”

Elena shook her head, cutting him off. “I’m fine,” she tried to assure him, not quite meeting his eyes. She hadn’t made a promise not to lie to Robbie. “I’m just being paranoid.” She didn’t quite dare risk a smile, but she kept her voice light. “With two people who have made attempts on my life in the same room with me, it seemed like the smartest attitude to take.”

She could feel him still watching her, solemn and more insightful than she would have liked, and she wished fiercely that she would get the chance to finish seeing him grow up. She suspected it would be a sight to behold.

Throat tightening, Elena returned to her work on the circle to hide whatever expression might be on her face. When Robbie spoke, it seemed the questioning was done. “I made you something.”

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, looking up at him again. “Please tell me it’s a charm to make Cam less argumentative.”

“Sorry, even magic doesn’t have the power to silence the Merricks.” He fished a small bottle out of his pocket and handed it to her. “It’s a potion meant to help people think quickly and clearly. It’s one of the first things a witch learns how to brew.” He looked faintly embarrassed. “We tend to use it for tests, but I thought it might help when you’re untangling the curse.”

“Thank you.” She took the bottle, touched. “I’m sure it will.”

Robbie’s cheeks colored a little, and he cleared his throat. “I made one for your mom and aunt, too.” He straightened. “I gave your aunt’s to your mom. I’m not ashamed to admit she terrifies me a little bit.”

Elena raised an eyebrow, letting herself enjoy the teasing. “My aunt, or my mother?”

As he left the room, he shot her one last grin. “I’ll leave that up to your imagination.”

After he was gone, Elena accepted the fact that she’d have to follow him relatively soon. She’d stretched out drawing the circle as far as she reasonably could, but Cam was more than likely awake by now. She’d already broken their unspoken agreement that she be there by the time he opened his eyes.

Standing, she lifted her skirts and carefully stepped outside the circle. Examining it one final time, she sketched a quick shape in the air and murmured the words of a basic preservation spell. Now there was no risk of the shapes being smudged or washed away, at least until the original enchantment had been lifted.

Looking down at the bottle Robbie had given her, she smiled a little and downed it in one long swallow. Then she squared her shoulders, getting ready to face everyone downstairs. All she needed was a few more minutes.

When she heard the door opening behind her again, Elena realized she’d stretched her window of time too far. She stole a few extra seconds to school her features. “I’m sorry I’ve been up here so long. I’m afraid my perfectionist tendencies took over.”

“Or you were hiding.”

Elena turned at the sound of Cam’s voice, surprisingly free of the frustration she would have expected from such a statement. It was, however, far too solemn, which was worrying in its own way. “Of course I was. Braeth and Dr. Flyte have been squabbling so much about the technical details that I’ve been tempted to keep score.”

He smiled briefly, hair still a little mussed from sleep. She curled her fingers in, fighting back the impulse to cross the room simply to smooth it down. Just to touch him. “If you keep score, that also means you need a referee,” he said, thankfully unaware of her thoughts. “No one would be dumb enough to take on that job.” As he spoke, he moved close enough to study the circle she’d just made. “I really need to steal some of Robbie’s spell books.”

“Feel free to make use of mine as well.” Elena watched him, biting her tongue against the impulse to explain the different elements she’d used. She’d never been tempted to drag his father into the day-to-day details of what she did, but the thought of being able to discuss her magic with Cam was far more appealing than it should have been. “Some get bogged down in technical minutiae, but I can point you to the authors who remember they’re speaking to human beings.”

“I’ll still probably need you or Robbie to translate.” He crouched down, fingers tracing the air just above one of the inner thorns, then looked up at her. “You’re worried Nigel will find a way to get around the sealing spell, aren’t you?”

Elena’s confusion immediately transformed into annoyance as she realized what had happened. “It seems as though Robbie’s already doing plenty of translating. Did you ask him to do some reconnaissance, or was that all his idea?”

Cam’s look was entirely unrepentant. “He’s worried about you. He also knows how worried I am about you, and it was either distract me with this or watch me wear holes in the stone floor downstairs.” He straightened, carefully stepping around the circle towards her. “He opted for this.”

Elena scowled, not finding anything in his explanation she could argue with. Frustrated, words slipped out she hadn’t intended to say out loud. “Do you know how incredibly difficult it is to be worried about by so many—” She cut herself off, surprised and a little appalled by what had slipped out.

Cam, however, nearly smiled again. “Have you met my family?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Then you should be more sympathetic. And, by extension, less annoying.”

“Tough.” Eyes still bright, he moved around the rest of the circle. They were only a few steps apart now, and she moved to close the distance between them without even thinking about it. “Because as much as I wanted to hit my sister over the head with something heavy, your family has the right to completely lose their minds wanting to protect you.”

The sudden tenderness in his voice caught in her chest, making it ache. Fighting was so much safer than doing something absurd like burst into tears. “So your family’s response to crisis is to officially adopt me? I hate to say it, but your self-preservation instincts are terrible.”

Suddenly, the humor disappeared from his face. “They’re better than yours.”

“Oh no. You don’t get to do that.” Elena stepped towards him, jabbing a finger into his chest. “I’ve been trying.”

“How hard?” Cam snapped back. “If you were this worried about Nigel doing something, why didn’t you tell me? And if you didn’t think I could do any good, why didn’t you tell someone else who could? You’re not alone in this!”

“I should be!” Elena cursed herself for the sentence as soon as it came out of her mouth, and she cursed herself for being an idiot as she moved to lock the door. Then, for good measure, she threw a quick silencing spell around the room. It would only make things a thousand times worse if her mother overheard any of this.

The fact that Cam had heard it was going to cause her enough problems. His expression had gone hard again, eyes full of so many emotions she couldn’t pick them apart enough to identify them. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.”

Elena was so unspeakably grateful for his response that she forced her temper back into submission. “You’re overreacting about Nigel. Of course there’s a possibility that the shocks won’t be enough to get him to listen to my instructions, but even if he doesn’t we’ll just start the spell over again. The only time it would even be a problem is if he steps out of alignment and the spell misaims. The protective circle should keep the rest of you safe, but if the spell reflects back at me it might reverse—”

Elena finally managed to get her mouth closed, barely resisting the urge to clamp her hand over it. She hadn’t known she’d even been thinking that last bit, but now that she’d said it the logic was undeniable. If the magic reflected in just the wrong way, it was possible that the spell could end up binding Elena to Nigel rather than the other way around. If that happened, she didn’t know if they could ever get Braeth’s spell to work properly.

Of course, the other option was to remove the protective circle and leave one of her family at risk of being bound to Nigel.

Cam watched the horror bloom across her face. “Tell me this is the first time you’ve thought of this.”

Not trusting herself to open her mouth again, Elena just nodded. The original evil sorcerers had probably used mind control to solve the problem, but those spells had been eradicated from the books more than a century before. Even if Braeth could remember it, they’d be committing an even worse crime than the one that had left them in this mess in the first place.

A muscle tightened in Cam’s jaw. “And why have none of the other mighty sorcerers and sorceresses downstairs thought of this?”

Unfortunately, that question required something more than a yes or no answer. “Robbie gave me a potion to help me think more clearly.”

Cam cursed, closing his eyes a second. “I’ll have mom and dad take Nigel back. We’ll go with one of the other prisoners.”

“Absolutely not.” More time was the last thing any of them needed. “There’s only a small chance the spell will go wrong in exactly the way I described. And don’t even try to tell me you didn’t plan for Nigel doing something ridiculous. You probably have six different contingency plans, depending on the particular flavor of idiocy he attempts.”

“Of course I did. But those plans are to stop him from hurting you, not stop him from accidentally tying you to his dangerously incompetent self for the rest of your life.” He stalked towards her, the frustration in his voice seemingly aimed as much at himself as it was at her. “I thought if he tried anything, we could just whack him in the head and start over again. But the look on your face made it clear that’s not going to work.”

“It might.” Unless her mother and aunt took Robbie’s potion, and realized the same things she had. She’d have to figure out a way to steal them back. “I was thinking of worst case scenarios. It could be fine.”

“See, I can’t even tell if I really am overreacting or if this is some secret suicide tendency of yours I can’t figure out!” Cam’s voice was climbing by the second, the words hitting Elena hard even if he wasn’t thinking clearly enough to aim them. “I need to be able to trust you!”

“How dare you!” Livid, she shoved at him. The fact that he barely moved only made her angrier. “Who in all the gods’ names do you think I’m doing this for? Do you know how hard it is to keep trying like this? It took years for me to make peace with the fact that my life was over, and now I—I—”

When her brain caught up with what she had said, Elena gave in and clamped her hands over her mouth. Obviously, this was a sign that she should just stop talking permanently, since any kind of brain-to-mouth filter she’d once had access to had vanished along with the ice inside her.

Cam just stared at her, all traces of anger replaced by sheer, unadulterated shock. “Who are you doing this for?” he asked, voice far less steady than it had been.

All she could do was stare back, horrified to realize her eyes were filling. Elena didn’t dare move her hands away from her mouth, not at all certain what would come out next if she did. She thought back to all of those careful conversations with Dr. Flyte, all those times when he’d seemed almost desperate to get some kind of strong emotional reaction out of her.

Clearly, all he’d had to do was shove Cam into her life. The man had made her lose her mind.

The shock on Cam’s face had melted into something almost like wonder, and his own eyes were suspiciously wet. “Elena,” he asked again, gently enough to break her in half. “Who are you doing this for?”

She squeezed her eyes shut, the tears leaking down her cheeks. Slowly, carefully, she felt Cam pull her hands away from her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Don’t be sorry.” Cam’s voice was rough with emotion. “Don’t ever be sorry for something like this.” He lifted one of her hands to his lips, placing a gentle kiss against the palm. He chuckled against her skin, the sound just a little wild. “I was trying to figure out how to tell you myself.”

Elena’s eyes flew open. “What?”

“Oh, don’t play dumb like that with me.” The wry humor on his face didn’t hide the way his voice shook a little. And his eyes, his eyes held everything. “I’m amazed you didn’t pick up on it before now.”

She swallowed, still capable of doing nothing more than staring at him. The potion Robbie had given her was completely useless now, her brain stunned enough to be beyond even magical assistance. She’d long ago decided that romantic love wasn’t something she could afford to have in her life, and now that it had suddenly appeared she found herself entirely unprepared for it. “You could have given me a hint,” she managed finally,

A challenging light flared in his eyes. Then, after a single, breathless moment, he bent down and kissed her.

The feel of Cam’s lips against hers, the taste of him on her tongue, was as wonderful as all those stupid romances said it would be. He tried so hard to be gentle, but Elena would have liked nothing more than to disappear entirely into the rush of feeling he sent coursing through her. No more curse, no more deadline, just this moment stretching on for eternity.

His hands cradled the sides her face, his touch utterly tender as he showed her everything she’d never even imagined. Weightless with the light and heat of it, she clutched him as if he was the only thing keeping her from flying away.

But such wonders couldn’t last forever, no matter how much she wanted to. When the kiss ended, Cam seemed as reluctant to pull away as she was. “Does that work?” he murmured.

She was horribly embarrassed to feel her eyes filling again. “You cheated,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around him and holding on for dear life.

Cam let out a breath as his own arms came around her. “If I’d known it was an option, I would have cheated a long time ago.”

She wanted to laugh, even though it didn’t make the slightest bit of sense. What had just happened had raised the stakes for the spell infinitely higher than she’d ever wanted them to be, and it would only make dealing with everything that much harder. According to any kind of logic, admitting she loved Cam was almost as terrible an idea as falling in love with him in the first place.

But that wasn’t enough to stop the wild, bubbling happiness inside her. Cam loved her back. Now everything mattered so much more than it had just a few hours before.

She pulled back enough to look up at Cam, thinking furiously. “I can use the freezing spell on Nigel as soon as he steps into the circle. It doesn’t last very long, but if I have everything prepared in advance I might have just enough time to finish before he unfreezes. That way, he won’t have the chance to try anything.”

Cam looked worriedly down at her. “If he sees you toss a restraining spell at him, he may try and jump you no matter how hard the sealing spell shocks him.”

Not to mention the fact that Dr. Flyte would raise a protest that would waste valuable time. But she wanted to live, more than she had in a very long time, and she didn’t see another option. “We aren’t going to be able to completely eliminate my risk in all this, Cam.”

An intent look came into his eyes as he lifted his hands to cup her face again. “No, but there’s a way we can lessen it.”