Henri let me into the museum. It was after hours, but I knew PT would still be in his office.
“How are things with Miss Mann?” I asked.
“Just fine, Mrs. Roebling, just fine.” He escorted me past the Cardiff Giant to the office door. “Turns out her family wasn’t upset with her leaving the mountain for good. Got you to thank for that.”
I smiled and patted his hand. At least there was one thing I managed not to destroy.
PT was on the floor, playing with a monkey. The familiar spicy aroma mixed with animal musk filled the air. He greeted me with his usual gusto, and we settled in to discuss our project at hand.
“Have you had time to complete the plan?” I asked.
“My dear, for you, I have planned a most spectacular event.” He picked up a schedule from his desk. “What you are experiencing is something we in the business refer to as a public relations problem. And the cure for that is to create excitement!”
“Haven’t we had quite enough of that?” I reconsidered the wisdom of requesting his services for this particular project.
“We’ll provide a distraction from what the people believe—or have been falsely led to believe—they should be worried about.” He handed me the schedule. Using his ringleader voice, he called out, “Put on a show! An exhibition at the bridge, a grand parade! Entertainers, bands, horses with grand carriages! Acrobats, cannons!” He paced the room, pumping his arms with each attraction.
I ran my finger down the detailed schedule. “Marvelous. An event families will enjoy on the promenade.”
“Oh no, not the promenade.” He flipped to the next page in my hand. “Right down the roadway.”
“We would have to close the bridge.”
“Exactly. Serving to underscore its necessity.”
“Seems a bit contrived.”
“I haven’t told you the best part. You’ve heard of Jumbo?”
“Of course.”
“Jumbo, the greatest elephant on earth, is at my disposal.”
“An elephant?”
“A score of them.”
“A herd of elephants stampeding the bridge.” I chortled. “John Roebling will be rolling over in his grave.”
“A magnificent parade with you in the lead. Then Jumbo and twenty more elephants thundering across the bridge! Crowds will love it!” He returned to his desk throne.
“A larger scale than I envisioned, but I think it will work.” I was already picturing the spectacle.
“It will work? It’s pure genius! With all that weight, there will be no doubt about the strength of the bridge. And everyone knows an elephant won’t step where it’s not safe.”
“Then they have more brains than I.”
He laughed and shook his head.
“And what do you expect from this?”
“My outrageous fee, you mean?”
“That is what I have learned to expect.”
“Quite so.” He lit a cigar, his cheeks sucking in, then puffing out a cloud of smoke. “Did I mention that I would love for you to lead the parade?”
“I gather as part of your scheme to rehabilitate my reputation—”
“Why not? Make an exuberant appearance. Defy the scuttlebutt.”
“While that’s tempting, I plan to fade from the spotlight and enjoy a more conventional life. You haven’t answered my question.”
He leaned forward. “I have never given up on a certain quest. As dear as he is, I’m sure Mr. Roebling’s…condition presents some limitations.”
“Certainly none of your concern.”
He touched his nose as if it were still sore. “I beg your pardon. That was boorish and not even the point.”
“Apology accepted. And although I tremble to hear it, what is your quest?”
“You want me to spell it out. As you wish. Peanut, I am offering my heart. Tell me, what are you going to do with it?” He put down his cigar. “Shall we remain supportive friends, or is there something else in our future?”
The power he had over me had returned. I could be sucked into his world like a wave pulled back to the sea. My spirits lifted with the possibility of a carefree life, filled with travel, laughter, fun, companionship…and more. I took a deep breath, clenched my fists. “No. This has to stop.”
He eyed me intently; he was gifted at reading a face. My innermost feelings seemed naked under his scrutiny.
“My foolish heart.” He sighed.
“I am not without my own temptations.”
“But I am rejected nonetheless.”
“Afraid so. If I were—”
“It doesn’t matter.” He closed his books, and I felt a part of me close as well.
“I have leaned on you for so long, PT, and now I’ve hurt you. I’m sorry.”
“A foolish pursuit. How many years?”
I swallowed. This was the worst part. “I’m afraid we have to end our friendship.”
After a long, uncomfortable pause, he said, “Is that what you want?”
Having no fair way to answer that, I bit my lip and averted my gaze.
“I understand. But the parade should proceed as planned.” The showman was gone; the businessman appeared. “A parade for you and for the bridge.” He scribbled something in a notebook, then snapped it shut.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“Good publicity. A show on the greatest bridge on earth. Despite my wrong-headed intentions, it’s still a grand idea.” He opened his top desk drawer and slipped something out. “Besides, you’ve already paid the fee.” He fanned the tattered bills I gave him years ago.
My heart was breaking as I turned away.
“Goodbye, my Peanut.”
I pulled open that heavy door for the last time.
* * *
I wanted to curl up and lick my wounds before I told Wash. Of course, that would serve no purpose, and I wanted to clear the air before the official bridge opening. My marriage, as always, was intertwined with the bridge, something I had long since learned to accept. But that project was ending, and our future paths needed to be charted, whether together or divided. He deserved to know my decision before his big day, but first, I had an ultimatum of my own.
I found him on the rooftop that balmy evening, sitting on a bench, enjoying the view of city lights in a light breeze. He slid over to make room for me.
“Wash, do you remember when I mentioned going to law school?”
“Yes, some time ago. Thought you had lost interest.”
“No, just otherwise occupied.” I caught his eye.
“Have you found a school—one that will accept—”
“Not yet. But I think we have enough influence here that an exception can be made for me.”
“I see. So you’re staying in New York.” His gaze fell to his lap where his hands rested, palms to the sky.
“No, dear. I couldn’t trust all those Roeblings to give you any peace without my interference. I think we want a rather grand house in Trenton for family get-togethers and perhaps grandchildren visiting someday.”
He looked up, a smile creeping across his face.
“However,” I said.
He shook his head. “There’s always ‘however.’”
“I want you to promise I can come back to New York to study law. Maybe once Johnny is off to university.” I waited for him to look at me directly, wanting him to fully understand my position. “Promise me that I don’t have to give up all my dreams.”
He reached out, touched the cameo on my earlobe. “It seems a fine plan. I not only agree, I may insist upon it.” He traced a finger along my jaw. “But Phineas? I won’t change my mind about him.”
I took a breath to steady my voice. “That has been settled.”
He responded simply, “Then we are agreed.”
I laid my head in his lap, contemplating all I had lost and all that I would soon give up. Perhaps I would learn to love living in Trenton, but that seemed a distant possibility. And would visits to New York be the same without the company of my dear friend?
I allowed a tear to flow across my face and fall on his trousers. It was as Eleanor had described; we had gone through the breakers and found each other on the other side. No city lights, no racing horses in the countryside could replace the oneness Wash and I shared, the deep love that comes from having sacrificed everything for each other. And perhaps more importantly, he knew me as no other, understood my passion to overcome barriers for women, supported it even. He was my ally for life.
The night was dark and clear; the Milky Way shone like a moonlit cloud. Millions of stars, all those worlds, and we were mere specks huddled together on one tiny planet, lifting and falling in life’s rhythm.
Wash bent to kiss me, absently fingering my curls. “Look. A falling star.” He began to sing softly, sweetly:
“The Star that watched you in your sleep
Has just put out his light.
‘Good-day, to you on earth,’ he said,
‘Is here in heaven Good-night.’”