JUAN

This is the cellar,

imagine, the fear

no floorboards, no blanket, no food

even though it’s only for one day

and one night

    or maybe a little more

    just enough time to let the whip do its job

imagine, no water,

    that’s the worst,

and this silence

    except for my voice trapped inside my head

    whispering verses, rhymes, curses, songs, prayers

    strange, meaningless words

and some other voice too, a comforting one,

    maybe God’s

but there’s the stench too, that’s the devil,

    this stink of rotting garbage

    and the dampness, foul rats and ghosts,

    all the evil enchantments

the screams of another voice, a hateful one.

No. Is it true? Can it be?

How is it possible?

Is this dreadfully shrieking voice really

    my own?

I would starve

    but there are boys around my age, more or less

The boys are her sons.

Don Nicolás is the merciful one

    a whispering boy who slips me

    crumbs of sweet bread

    through a crack in the wall,

    and precious sips of water

    even though I am too weak and too stunned

    to thank him

What a strange

    unexpected answer

    to all my horrified curses

    and prayers