KAT HEADED TOWARD Mike’s office, her heart thumping as she thought about what had happened in the last twenty-four hours. She had nothing to say in her defense; Ben had seen her and Luke kissing, so he’d gone and set fire to the school. And Mike had already given her a warning about being unprofessional.
On top of the consequences for her career, it was over with Luke. In fact, it had never even started. What had they been thinking? Maybe they hadn’t been thinking at all.
She’d have to hand in her resignation, of course; she hoped St. Mary’s would still consider her for their opening once word about this got out. Could she even ask Mike for a reference at this point?
Suddenly, the reality of leaving Flight, not only the school, but also Ben and Luke, overwhelmed her. She let out a gasp. Luke’s face sprang into her mind, his soft brown eyes, his crooked smile...and his expression as he lowered his lips to hers. Maybe if she’d left sooner, she and Luke could have tried to be together. If she had stopped being Ben’s therapist, kept her distance from Flight, could there have been an “us”? Now she’d never find out.
As far as Ben was concerned, she’d totally let him down, and this would be a huge setback for him. She didn’t blame him for making the connections that he had; she could see how that kiss must have appeared to him, after she’d told him she wouldn’t be looking after him for much longer. The bitter irony was that she’d made her choices to help Ben and Luke form a real father-son relationship. Now that would be harder than ever for them.
Mike was waiting impatiently, his disappointment obvious. He launched into his tirade as soon as she sat down, and all Kat could do was put up with it. Every word was true.
“So?” he asked eventually, his face closed and stern. “What do you have to say?”
Kat hesitated. “I’d say...that you have every right to be angry with me. I’m ashamed that it has come to this. You knew, of course, that I was thinking of leaving—to give Ben and Luke a chance—and now I guess I’ll have to speed things up a bit.”
“And where do you stand with Luke? You do realize that this has been traumatic for Ben?”
“Of course I do,” Kat cried. “And there is no ‘me and Luke’—we’ve already hurt Ben too much. I have an interview at St. Mary’s College, to teach in their child-therapy program. I know I can’t expect a glowing reference from you, but—”
Mike held up his hand. “For what it’s worth, Kat, I’m sorry that this had to happen. You are a good therapist but you got distracted from what was right. You behaved unprofessionally, but in your defense...in your defense, it was only human. If you’re not planning on working directly with children for a while, I won’t do anything to hold back your career.”
“Thanks, Mike,” Kat said. “And I’m sorry, too. I’ve loved my time here and I was really looking forward to doing my animal-therapy classes.”
“Will you stay at Cove Cottages?”
“I—I hadn’t thought that far ahead,” Kat said. St. Mary’s wasn’t too far from Jenny Brown’s Bay, but the idea of staying so close to Luke and Ben was acutely painful. “Anyway, I’ll give you fair notice. One month, isn’t it? I guess you’ll want it in writing?”
“Yes, thanks,” Mike said. “But for Ben’s sake I think it would be better if you wrapped things up here by the end of the week. Oh, and one other thing, Kat...”
“Yes?”
“It might be best if you brought the sheep and the chickens to Flight. It would be good for Ben to keep on helping with their care, and the other children seem enthusiastic about the animals, too. I thought the small paddock at the back of the buildings might be suitable—there’s a shed that just needs a bit of cleaning up.”
The idea of the animal therapy continuing without her was like a kick in the gut, but Kat knew in her heart of hearts that it was the right thing to do. “Who will look after them when I’ve gone, though? And supervise the children?” she asked, her voice breaking.
“Luke will have to take them over,” Mike said. “And maybe your replacement will be keen to carry on in your footsteps.”
“What...you’ve already replaced me?”
“Look, Kat,” Mike said gently. “After our talk recently, I had to be prepared for the worst-case scenario—not that I expected a fire. I didn’t advertise for the position, but I do keep a list of previous applicants. I have someone who said they’d take the job if it became vacant.”
“Then I guess you can give them a start date,” she said sadly.
Kat left Mike’s office, her spirits low. It was over; everything was over. The job she loved, her relationship with Ben...and whatever she’d had with Luke. Her plans had burned up in that fire, too; her animal-therapy classes would never get off the ground now, at least under her direction.
She tried to console herself with the hope that, with her departure, Luke and Ben could repair their relationship—maybe even let it thrive. If that worked out okay, maybe this would all have been worthwhile. Children had no control over their circumstances, and every child deserved stability and love. She’d had neither, which was why she knew how important they were.
* * *
LUKE SAW KAT leaving Flight as he ran up the stairs to Ben’s room. She looked so sad that he longed to call out to her, to try to make things better. Instead, he forced himself to keep on walking, knowing that to offer her comfort would just complicate matters for everyone.
When Ben explained why he’d started the fire, Luke had never felt so guilty. The repercussions of his and Kat’s relationship, if you could even call it that, were heartbreaking on so many levels. Yet, if he was totally honest, he couldn’t regret it.
Luke thought back to the sheer terror he’d felt when he’d learned Ben was still inside the school. And the unfamiliar burst of joy and relief when he’d found him in the garden and held him tight for the very first time, telling him he wasn’t angry and it would all be okay. In that moment, love had overruled discipline; perhaps Kat had been right all along. And when he’d gone to see Ben later that night, after the boy had had time to reflect on his actions, Ben had apologized and given him a hug. It had made Luke feel as if, somehow, all this heartache and everything with Kat had been worthwhile.
Today Kat was leaving for good, and he felt terrible about that. But he and Ben were going for a walk together, down to the shore. Just the two of them, father and son; that was a good feeling.
The sun was high in the clear blue sky, and a warm breeze caressed their cheeks when they stepped outside. Seagulls swooped and soared and shrieked overhead as they started down the steep pathway together.
“I love it here,” Ben said. “The sea and everything, I mean.”
“I love it, too,” agreed Luke, seeing his surroundings through fresh eyes. “It’s beautiful and wild and free.”
“That’s what Miss used to say,” Ben remarked quietly.
“Are you still angry with her?”
Ben looked down at his feet, scuffing his toes on the tarmac. “I thought she was my friend and you were going to take her away from me...but she didn’t really care about me, either.”
Luke welled up, unable to speak or breathe. This was wrong; everything Kat had done was for Ben. “You mustn’t think like that,” he said. “Miss is a good person and all she wants is what’s best for you.”
“She wants you to be her friend, not me. That’s why she was kissing you. And I burned your room because I thought it was your fault.” Suddenly he stopped, taking hold of Luke’s hand and looking up at him. “I’m glad now that you didn’t have to go away... Bradley says that I might have to, though.”
Luke frowned. “What do you mean, Ben? What did Bradley say?”
“That they might send me to prison.”
“Oh, Ben...” Luke drew his son toward the low wall at the side of the path and sat down beside him, gazing out across the vast expanse of sea and sky. “No one is sending you anywhere. You have to believe that.”
“Bradley Simmons says that starting fires is called ars—He says it’s called arson and I’ll have to go to prison for it.”
“You have my word that you are definitely not going to prison,” Luke said. “You made a mistake, that’s all—a misjudgment. You weren’t trying to hurt anyone. The fire people and the police know that, I’ve spoken to them myself, and they’re not going to punish you at all. They told me so.”
When Ben’s face brightened, Luke smiled and tweaked his son’s nose. “So you have to stop worrying...right?”
“Right,” agreed Ben. “I’ll try.”
“Good,” Luke said. “And, Ben, don’t be too hard on Miss. She really does care about you. Grown-ups mess up, too, sometimes. I certainly have. Just because people sometimes make the wrong decisions it doesn’t mean they’re bad.”
“Like me with the fire?”
“Yes, in a way. You thought you were doing the right thing, but it turned out not to be, and I thought I was doing the right thing when I left you with your mum and your grandparents.”
“And that was wrong,” Ben said.
“Yes, Ben, it was very wrong, and I want to make it up to you.”
Suddenly Ben grinned, seizing the opportunity. “So can we go mudlarking?”