Brad stared at his reflection in the small mirror above the bathroom sink. He had just been a perfect example of a major jerk to a woman who had not deserved it. He sluiced cold water over his face and then looked at his reflection again. “You’re still a jerk,” he muttered to himself.
He’d been so shaken up by what they had shared, by the passion he’d had for her, a passion that had stolen all rational thought from his head.
He had never, ever had such a mind-blowing bout of lovemaking in his entire life. The moment he’d tasted her lips, he’d been lost in her. He’d thrown all caution to the wind and had forgotten all about the reasons why they shouldn’t make love.
And what bothered him more than anything was that he knew if given the chance , he would make the same mistake and make love with her all over again.
Now she was in his very blood. He wouldn’t be able to look at her without remembering the sweet, hot taste of her lips or how her naked body had felt against his. He now would never be able to forget the throaty little moans she had made and how her eyes had glowed like those of a hungry wild animal as he had stroked into her.
He couldn’t regret what they had shared, but they definitely needed to have a conversation about it and he owed her an apology for the way he had just acted toward her. He’d diminished what they had shared and that wasn’t fair.
He got dressed and then stepped out of the bathroom.
She sat, fully dressed, on the sofa. She stared into the flames in the fireplace and didn’t look at him as he sank down next to her.
“Simone,” he said softly.
“What?” She still didn’t look at him as she wrapped her arms around herself.
“I’m sorry for being a jerk.”
“You were a jerk,” she replied.
“I know. I was just afraid if I told you how great our lovemaking was, if I stayed there next to you for another minute, I’d want you all over again.”
She finally looked at him, her eyes holding a vulnerability...and a touch of hurt. He hated that. He hated that he had put that hurt in her eyes. “I just wanted to linger for a moment in your arms. I just wanted to bask for a moment in the...you know...the afterglow.” A blush colored her cheeks.
“And I should have given that to you, but I was afraid that it would lead to another mistake. Simone, it’s obvious we share an intense physical attraction to each other. Acting on that attraction was my mistake. While it was an incredible experience for me, it was still a mistake. There’s no future for us and it would be irresponsible for us to think otherwise.”
“Brad, I wasn’t looking for a future,” she replied. “I was just acting on what I wanted in the moment. I wanted you and I knew you wanted me. We are two consenting adults and so we acted on it. It was nothing more than that. I’m well aware of our positions and that when this case is over we will never see each other again.”
He somehow wanted to protest her words, but he couldn’t. The truth of the matter was that they would probably never see each other again once Leo was under arrest and Rob Garner was no longer a threat.
“And it was a mistake that I didn’t use any protection,” he added. “Unfortunately, I didn’t have any.”
She stared back into the dying fire. “If you’re worried about me getting pregnant, I’m on the pill. And if you’re worried about catching something from me, I got tested and was clean after my last breakup and I haven’t been with anyone since then.”
“I haven’t been with anyone in years,” he said. He hated the topic of the conversation and for some reason thinking about the idea of never making love to her again depressed him more than he wanted to admit. He stared at her profile for a moment. “Simone, I do care about you.”
“You have to care for me. It’s your job,” she replied, her voice emotionless.
“Beyond that, Simone.” It suddenly seemed important that she knew she wasn’t just a job. “I care about you as a woman, beyond this job.”
Once again, she looked at him and this time a smile curved her lips. “It’s okay, Brad. Let’s just move on from here. Besides, I’m exhausted. It isn’t every day that I almost drown in a river.” She stood. “I’ll just say good-night and I’ll see you in the morning.”
He wanted to say something to stop her from leaving, but he didn’t know what to say, and in any case, he wasn’t sure more conversation wouldn’t make things worse.
“Good night, Simone.” He watched her until she disappeared into the bedroom and the door closed behind her.
He got up from the sofa, too restless to sit still. The scent of her perfume lingered on his skin, in his head. He walked over to the window and peered out into the darkness of the night.
His mind took him back to that moment when Simone had been standing on the riverbank and then she was suddenly gone. He’d faced down depraved killers before, and had been in life-and-death situations, but nothing...absolutely nothing he’d ever experienced before in his life had prepared him for the sheer terror of knowing Simone was in the river.
Even now, just thinking about it, his heart began to race. He’d watched helplessly as the water had swallowed her up. He thought he’d lost her to the raging river. Horror had gripped him around the throat and then thankfully he’d seen her head bob to the surface.
Thank God she’d grabbed on to that root, and thank God he’d been able to pull her to safety. Standing in the shower with her afterward, all he’d wanted to do was get the dirt and filth off her, warm the chill that had a grip on her and hold her until the fear left her eyes. He’d needed to hold her until the fear for her left him.
He hadn’t planned on making love to her. He tried to chalk it up to the fact that they’d just been through a life-and-death experience and had needed a life-affirming action. And of course there was the fact that they had been fighting against their attraction to each other and that attraction had finally exploded. He just hoped they could deal with the aftermath without things getting awkward or weird between them. Still, he knew it couldn’t ever happen again.
He turned around, grabbed the blanket he’d been using at night on the sofa, then shucked his jeans and took off his T-shirt. Once he was on the torturous sofa and covered up, he stared into the last dying embers in the fireplace.
He desperately needed Leo to be found and arrested as quickly as possible. Not just to end the case, but to end his time with Simone.
She wasn’t just a physical temptation. She was in his head in so many other ways. He loved the sound of her laughter and the way her eyes lit up with her smiles. He loved the serious conversations they had and he even liked the slight edge of defensiveness she displayed when it came to how smart she was.
He loved the little wrinkle that danced across her forehead when she was concentrating on a chess game and her utter loyalty to and love of her family.
The realization struck him like a thunderbolt stabbing through his chest. He was falling in love with Simone Colton. Rather than fill him with happiness, it had heartache written all over it.
Of all the women in the world, why did it have to be a woman he had to protect against a potential killer? And why did it have to be a woman with whom he would never have a future?
If his job and location weren’t enough to keep them apart, the fact that she was a Colton, an esteemed college professor, and he was nothing but a civil servant should be enough to squash any relationship he thought he could have with her.
Somehow, someway, he had to gain some emotional distance from her. He prayed the sun continued to shine tomorrow so he could spend a lot of time outside and away from her.
He finally drifted off to sleep with a deep sadness weighing in his heart. He jerked awake suddenly, his heart beating fast and with fight-or-flight adrenaline rushing through him. He grabbed his gun from the coffee table and shot upright.
What had awakened him? What had pulled him from his sleep? He then realized Simone was half screaming in the bedroom. Had somebody managed to get inside? Had somebody broken in through the bedroom window and was now trying to harm her?
He jumped off the sofa and raced to the bedroom. He yanked open the door and then halted. Enough moonlight drifted through the window for him to see there was nobody in the room except Simone, who thrashed and moaned in the throes of what he assumed was a bad nightmare.
He set his gun on top of the chest of drawers and frowned, unsure what to do. Somebody had once told him it wasn’t a good idea to awaken a person in the middle of a nightmare, but he couldn’t just stand here and watch her suffer.
And it was obvious she was suffering with whatever was going on in her dreams. “Simone,” he whispered her name softly and took a step toward her.
She half screamed again, flailed her arms wildly and then brought her hands up to her throat as if fighting off an attacker. “Simone,” he said a little louder. Still she didn’t awake.
He walked the last three steps to her bed and sank down on the edge of the mattress. “Wake up, Simone. You’re having a nightmare.” He gently took hold of her shoulder and gave her a little shake.
She gasped and shot straight up. Her eyes flipped open. For a moment she stared at him blankly, as if she had no idea who he was, then with a deep sob she flung her arms around his neck and began to weep.
He hesitated only a moment and then gathered her into his arms. “Shhh,” he whispered against her ear. “It’s all right, Simone. Was it a nightmare?”
She nodded and continued to cry, deep sobs that convulsed her body. He held her tight and continued to croon soothing things. Finally, her sobs stopped, but she didn’t attempt to move out of his arms. “It must have been a bad nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?” he asked softly.
She leaned back from him but didn’t completely leave his arms. His heart broke for her as the moonlight played on her slightly swollen and red eyes.
“It’s always the same thing,” she said, her voice trembling slightly. “I’m in a graveyard and standing in front of my father’s headstone. Then his face manifests out of a mist. He begs me to get his killers behind bars. He tells me he can’t rest until I do.”
Her body began to shake and tears once again filled her eyes. “Then he gets angry and starts yelling at me that he can’t rest until I get the killers in jail. His skeletal arms come out of the headstone and his hands wrap around my neck and they start strangling...and then...and then I usually wake up.”
She leaned back in, pressing her face against his chest as she began to cry once again. “It...it’s so terrifying.”
“It’s just a dream, Simone. You know your father would never try to strangle you,” he said softly. “He’d never want to hurt you. He would only want good things for you.”
She cried for a minute and then she regained control. “You must think I’m the biggest baby in the world,” she finally said. “I cry over thunderstorms and over bad dreams, and I cry because of my father’s murder. I really am a strong woman, Brad. I’m really not a crybaby.”
He released a small laugh. “Oh, honey, I know that.” He rubbed her back until she leaned away from him. She appeared exhausted but still haunted by her nightmare. “Come on, get back beneath the blanket and I’ll tuck you in.”
She reached out and grabbed hold of his hand. “Brad, will you stay with me...just for a little while? Just until I fall back to sleep?”
A little alarm went off in his head, telling him it wasn’t a good idea, but how could he deny the plea in her eyes, the faint fear that still lingered there?
“Okay, I’ll stay here for a little while,” he replied. “Just until you fall back to sleep.”
“Thank you,” she whispered softly. She settled back into the mattress and closed her eyes as he began to rub her back.
There was no way he was going to get beneath the blanket with her. He just didn’t trust himself. He continued to rub her back and finally felt her relaxing. Thankfully within minutes she was once again asleep.
He waited a few more minutes and then he got off the bed, grabbed his gun from the top of the dresser and then returned to the uncomfortable sofa to finish out the night.
God, he needed to keep his head about him where she was concerned. Unfortunately, he could do nothing about how deep his heart had gotten involved.
Simone awakened early. A mere whisper of light lit up the eastern skies. She dressed and quietly left the bedroom and went to the table and sat.
Brad was still asleep on the sofa, and although she’d like a cup of coffee, the last thing she wanted to do was awaken him. She had no idea how long he’d stayed with her the night before after the terrible and familiar nightmare. She was just grateful that he’d been there to soothe her back to sleep.
He was such a good man. He was exactly the kind of man she wanted in her life forever. He was funny and smart and incredibly sexy. He was caring and brave and she was in love with him.
She nearly fell off her chair as the realization hit her hard. When had it happened? When had her physical attraction transformed into something deeper, into something far more meaningful?
Was it when they’d laughed together or had it happened when they were having one of their serious talks? Was it when they had trash-talked each other while playing cards or when she’d thought about the lengths he had gone to in an effort to assure her safety? Had it happened when he’d pulled her from the river and then made sweet, hot love to her?
It didn’t really matter when she’d fallen in love with Brad. What mattered was that she was in love with him and there was no future between them. What mattered was that she was headed for a deep and painful heartache where he was concerned and there was nothing she could do about it.
At that moment Brad moaned and he sat up. His hands immediately went to his back and he moaned once again. He stood and walked over to the window. He stretched with his arms overhead and continued to groan.
It was obvious he was having some back pain. The sofa was uncomfortable just sitting on it. She hadn’t even considered how terrible it would be to sleep on. And he’d been sleeping on it every night without complaints.
Even thinking about how hard it had been for him, she couldn’t help but admire his physique. He was clad only in a pair of black boxers and the muscles in his broad back were well-defined and perfectly toned.
He turned away from the window and jumped at the sight of her. “Jeez, Simone. You scared me half to death. How long have you been sitting there in the dark?”
“Just a few minutes and it’s not completely dark,” she replied.
“I don’t smell the coffee, so I can’t believe you’re actually talking to me.” He reached for his jeans at the foot of the sofa and quickly pulled them on. He then turned on the light overhead.
“I was going to start the coffee, but I didn’t want to wake you. But since I was up before you, I’ll take care of the coffee this morning.” She got up, and as she made the coffee, he sat at the kitchen table.
“Thank you, Brad.” She turned around and leaned against the counter as she waited for the coffee to drip through the carafe.
“Thanks for what?” He looked at her curiously.
“For last night, for making me feel safe after my nightmare,” she replied. That was exactly what he’d done for her... He’d made her feel safe and protected after the horror of the dream.
“I’m glad I could be there for you. I’m just sorry you have that nightmare at all.”
“I’m hoping it will go away forever once Leo is behind bars,” she replied.
“I hope so,” he said. “I would never wish that kind of nightmare on anyone.”
She turned back around and poured two cups of coffee and then carried them to the table. “Brad, I didn’t realize how much you’ve been suffering by sleeping on the sofa every night.”
“What are you talking about? It’s been fine,” he protested.
“No, it hasn’t been fine. I heard you moaning and groaning when you first got off it this morning. I know it’s hurting your back.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s okay. I’m dealing with it.”
“You shouldn’t have to deal with it,” she replied. She took a sip of her coffee and eyed him over the rim. She put her cup down. “Starting tonight, you’re welcome to share the bed with me.”
His golden-green eyes stared into hers. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“We’re both adults, Brad. Surely we can share a bed and not go where we shouldn’t. I know you’d sleep better in the bed and that’s what’s important.” She offered him a teasing smile. “Besides, how can you protect me from a morning threat if you can barely crawl from the sofa?”
He studied her for another long moment. “We’ll see how we’re both feeling when night comes,” he finally replied.
For a few minutes they drank their coffee and enjoyed some casual conversation as the early morning sunlight slowly filled the room. “It’s so nice to see the sun,” she said.
“Enjoy it while it lasts. When I checked the weather last night, the weatherman said more rain could be moving back in this afternoon.”
She shook her head. “I can’t remember a time when it rained so hard and for so many days in a row.”
“According to what the news is saying, it’s a historic year for the amount of rain we’ve received.”
“I’m sure we’ll both remember these rainy days and this time here for a very long time to come,” she said thoughtfully.
His gaze held hers intently. “I know I will.”
“Someday I’ll tell my children about the handsome FBI agent who saved me from a raging river.”
He released a small laugh. “And I’ll tell my buddies about the time I plucked a beautiful mermaid out of the water.”
She laughed with him. “Right, a mermaid who was covered in mud and muck and crying her fool head off. I’m sure that’s every fisherman’s fantasy.”
He opened his mouth as if to say something but instead raised his cup and took a drink and then stood. “So, what do you feel like for breakfast this morning?”
“Could you make some more of those pancakes we had before?”
“Pancakes coming right up.”
“Can I help?” she asked and was unsurprised when his answer was no.
She watched as he worked, admiring his efficiency, his complete ease in the kitchen. It was far too easy for her to imagine him in her condo, whipping up breakfast for the two of them after a night of lovemaking.
It was a fantasy that caused her heart to squeeze tight with pain because she knew it would never happen. She would never tell him the depths of her love for him. She wouldn’t burden him with her love.
He could never be hers, so there was no point. He had his life in DC and she had hers in Chicago. When this ended, he would go his way and she would go hers. Maybe she’d eventually meet a man just like Brad, but right now welcoming another man into her life felt too painful.
She got up to pour herself another cup of coffee as a wave of depression tried to settle over her head. It didn’t take long for the pancakes to be ready and they sat down to eat.
Already clouds were moving in and stealing the sunshine that had briefly shone through the windows. The clouds only made her bout of depression harder to fight off.
“You’re very quiet,” he said when they were halfway through the meal.
She released a deep sigh. “I’m a little tired of the clouds and I’m just wishing this was all over.” The latter part wasn’t exactly true. She wanted to spend as much time as possible with him, but she also was aware of the fact that spending more time with him would only make it more difficult to tell him goodbye.
“How long do you really think we’ll be here?” she asked.
He frowned. “To be honest, I’m not sure. I definitely don’t want to take you back if I still think you’ll be in danger.”
“But, realistically, we can’t stay here forever,” she replied. “What if Leo is never arrested? Then what? Sooner or later I have to go back to my life.”
“I know and realistically I can’t give you a definitive answer as to how much longer we’ll be here. Right now I’m just taking it day by day and hoping Leo will be caught.”
“And you believe when that happens Rob will no longer be a threat to me?”
“I believe once we get Leo in jail, then that will be the final catalyst for Jared to talk and I think he will confess to everything and that’ll mean the end of any threats against you.” He reached across the table and lightly touched the back of her hand. “Are you sick of me already?” he asked with a touch of humor in his voice.
“Of course not,” she replied with a smile. “Come on, I’ll dry if you wash.” She stood up, grabbed her plate and carried it to the sink.
As they washed the dishes, rain began to pelt against the windows. “So, want to play some cards?” he asked when the last dish had been dried and put away.
“I guess I could take another day of beating the pants off you,” she said with a grin even though she was a little sick of playing cards.
They played for the rest of the morning as the rain continued to beat against the windows. When they decided to break for lunch, she had an idea to break up the monotony.
“Can I help with lunch?” he asked.
“Yes, you can go sit on the sofa and let me take care of it,” she replied. Even though it was raining outside, that didn’t mean they couldn’t have a picnic inside.
For the next half an hour, she boiled eggs and deviled them, then she made a quick macaroni salad and sandwiches and packaged them all in separate storage containers. She then added two of her chocolate bars, some potato chips, and placed it all in one of the grocery bags.
She then went into the bedroom and grabbed the lamp on the nightside table. She took off the shade and carried it into the living room, where she plugged it in and turned it on.
“Now, that really brightens things up in here,” he said.
She smiled and then spread a blanket out on the floor. “Consider it artificial sunshine. If we can’t have a picnic outside, then we can have one inside.” She waved her hands over the blanket. “Welcome to my picnic.”
He slid from the sofa to the blanket and sat cross-legged while she grabbed the grocery bag off the table.
She joined him on the blanket and then began pulling out the food containers. “Wow, how did you know that I love a good picnic with macaroni salad?” he said with a goofy smile.
She laughed and threw a potato chip at him. “You’re a dork.”
“I thought you were the dork,” he replied teasingly. “Besides, on the hundredth day of rain you have to get a little dorky to stay sane.”
“So, do you like picnics?” she asked.
“To be honest, I’ve never been on a real picnic before.”
She looked at him in surprise. “For real?”
“For real. If I ever had a picnic with my mother and father, I don’t remember it. And after my mother’s death, the last thing on my or my father’s mind was a picnic in a park.”
“Do you have a lot of memories of your mother?” she asked. She saw the splash of grief that crossed his features. “I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have asked that,” she said quickly.
“No, it’s okay. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot. When you’re a kid, you just assume your parents are going to be there forever and so you don’t gather memories. I have more impressions than any single memories. I do remember she smelled like spring flowers and she loved to laugh.”
A warmth leaped into his eyes. “She worked part-time as a waitress, but she was always home when I got in from school. She was soft-spoken and I didn’t know until after her death that she was the gears that kept everything running smoothly. Whenever I’d screw up, she’d have a teachable moment with me.”
“And what did a teachable moment look like?” Simone asked curiously. The rain that had beat against the windows seemed to have stopped for now. However, the room was semi-dark other than the halo of light the little bedroom lamp provided.
“A calm discussion where we talked about what I did and why I did it.” He released a sudden laugh. “And then it looked a lot like extra chores and groundings.”
“That’s the way it was for me and my sisters. Mom knew exactly what to say to make me feel so guilty and sorry for whatever I’d done.” She froze as the sound of a vehicle pulling up sounded from outside.
Brad jumped up from the floor and grabbed his gun off the coffee table. She also got up and stood just behind Brad as he approached the door. He opened the door, his gun pointed in front of him.
Standing on the stoop was a man with a grizzly gray beard and a chubby face. He was clad in a bright yellow rain slicker. “Whoa!” he exclaimed when he saw Brad’s gun. His arms shot up in the air. “I’m Nico from Nico’s Grocery just down the way.”
Brad held the gun pointed at him for another long minute and then lowered it. “Sorry about that,” he said without any other explanation. “What can we do for you, Nico?”
“I’m just driving around and letting everyone in the area know the road coming in has flooded and it doesn’t look like it’s going down anytime soon. So if you need anything, I’m all you have for now.”
“We haven’t seen anyone anywhere around here, so I’m not sure who all will be affected by the flooding,” Brad replied.
“There’s the Ingram family’s cabin beyond those trees.”
“I didn’t think anyone was in that cabin,” Brad replied.
“They’re there. They’re a nice couple with two children. I’m sure they’re really sick of this rain.”
“Aren’t we all,” Brad said.
“And believe it or not, there’s some people camping here and there. How would you like to be in a small tent through all this?” He laughed. “Shoot me now, right?” His laughter stopped and his eyes widened. “I mean, don’t shoot me.”
Brad laughed. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to shoot you and we appreciate you stopping by to let us know where things stand.”
“No problem, and just remember I have some supplies if you need anything. And now I’ll just leave you alone.”
The two men said goodbye to each other and then Brad closed and locked the door. He turned and looked at Simone, his eyes dark and troubled.
“So, what exactly does this mean?” she asked, not liking the look in his eyes.
“It means two things. If there’s somebody hiding around here who wants to harm you, we can’t get out. And if we find ourselves in a tough situation, nobody can get in to help us.”
Simone stared at him and her heart beat a little faster. “Surely if anyone is out there wanting to hurt me, they would have already tried something.”
“I hope you’re right. Right now it’s like we’re on an island and we only have each other to depend on.” He offered her a smile. “We’ll be fine.”
“Of course we will,” she replied, but an unsettling disquiet swept through her. Brad’s smile had curved his lips, but it hadn’t lightened the darkness in his eyes. He was worried, and that worried her.
Was there really somebody out there watching and just waiting for the perfect opportunity to take her out? Was it possible they were trapped on this “island” with a killer? A cold chill grabbed hold of her knowing they were now cut off from any backup if a killer suddenly showed up.
Leo felt as if he’d been wet for months. He’d been hunkered down in his little tent, trapped by the torrential rain that had fallen, a tent that had collapsed on top of him more times than he could count.
Dammit, he deserved so much better than this. Once this was over, he’d make Rob pay him enough money to not only get out of the country but also enough so he could live the kind of life he deserved no matter where he landed.
He was wet, cold and hungry. And he was majorly ticked off. The only thing that drove him now was the fact that he was going to kill Simone Colton. He couldn’t wait to pull the trigger and watch the blossom of blood explode out of her chest. Or maybe he’d take a head shot and watch her brains blow out.
It was just like mag-fed paintball. Load the gun, pull the trigger and watch the paint explode on your target. Only in this case it was load the gun, pull the trigger, and instead of paint, it would be blood exploding from the target.
He’d killed four men before and now he looked forward to killing a man and a woman. The freakin’ weather had kept him hunkered down, but now it was just a matter of time before FBI agent Brad Howard and Simone Colton would be dead. His blood sang through his veins as he waited for the perfect opportunity to play a little mag-fed paintball with a real rifle.