I was on my way to the library the next day when Emil came up behind me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I gasped a little, startled.

I slid a glance to him, taking in his bright greyish-blue eyes, square jaw, and messy hair that always made my mind immediately wander to what he’d look like when he woke up in the morning. That, along with my memory of the kiss against the side of my house, wasn’t helping my hormones. I snapped myself away from that line of thought. “Hey! I didn’t know you were on Evie-watch.”

“Always have been, always will be,” he said with a grin.

“I’m surprised Alex agreed to it after our trip to Denver.”

“He saw reason once he calmed down. That’s how he is. He reacts first.”

I was aware. Just like me.

“Plus, I think he likes having someone else around to help with the protecting duties. It gives him a break so he can explore his hobbies.”

I looked at Emil, surprised. “Alex has hobbies?” I mostly thought he spent his free time thinking of ways to annoy me.

Emil laughed. “Yeah. His newest obsession is CrossFit. I’m surprised he’s never said anything to you about it.”

Ah. That explained the bulging biceps and body I had a hard time not openly staring at. I was also a little flummoxed that Emil knew this stuff about Alex and I didn’t. Alex was my soul mate and I didn’t even know his preferred method of cardio! For that matter, I didn’t know it about Emil either! “How do you know this about Alex and I don’t?”

Emil shrugged. “Other than you, we don’t have a lot in common. So we talk about shared interests.”

“You’re obsessed with CrossFit too?” Again, I should have known—bulging biceps and all.

He grinned. “My favorite workout is named ‘Evie’.”

I shoved him, then remembered that since CrossFit workouts are named after women, he might be telling the truth. “Seriously? That’s the name?”

His grin widened. “It will be when we try it out.”

Color rose in my cheeks and I quickly changed the subject. “I still have your jewelry from the other night.”

Emil stopped, his eyes softening like he was hurt. “Those are yours, Evie. I’ve been waiting to give them to you again for centuries.”

I stared at him. “The jewelry is worth a small fortune, Emil. I can’t accept it.”

“They’re yours, Evie. If you’re not comfortable keeping them at your house, I’ll put them back in my safe, but they’ll always be yours.”

Instead of going to the library, Emil steered us to the botanical gardens. I had a vivid memory of my previous experience with him in the same gardens. I tried to concentrate on the mostly dead plants instead. He opened the door to the greenhouse. Balmy air hit my face and the smell of flowers filled the air. It was warm inside, and we were the only people in the greenhouse—both big bonuses. I walked along next to him, thinking about the jewelry, our past together, and wondering about soul mates. “Does it ever bother you that fate, and not choice, decides who souls will end up with?”

Emil frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well, everyone has a soul mate, right?”

“Right.”

“One person who’s perfect for them, right?”

He narrowed his eyes, looking at me sideways. “Yeah.”

“So, you don’t get to choose who your perfect match is; it’s pre-ordained.”

Emil pursed his lips, considering. “I don’t see it like that,” he said. “With your real soul mate, you’re stronger. That’s the nature of the bond. You’re stronger together. However, you always have a choice. Everyone has a soul mate, but both of your souls have to reach a point where you’re ready to make a commitment to each other. There’s so much learning and growth that has to take place before that happens. Souls are separated for a reason. Each one has a different path to take, and that journey will help make their bond more complete when they finally find their mate. That can take centuries, and multiple lifetimes—and loves.

“Once soul mates find each other, there’s no miracle cure for happiness. Relationships take work; even relationships between soul mates. The key is having two people who care enough to put the work in for eternity. Soul mates are much more likely to do that. Once you commit to that person, you won’t want to be with anyone else. But your choice is never taken away. If two soul mates don’t want to be together, they don’t have to be. Think about Callista and her mate. Their relationship is a perfect example of that, and she was a Goddess when her mate left her. Maybe they weren’t ready to be together yet? You should be with the person who encourages you to grow, who makes you stronger, and you do the same for them in turn. In my opinion, that’s the definition of a soul mate—someone who enriches your soul.”

I took a moment to think about what he’d said. When I’d learned about the Amaranthine, the Daevos, and found out everyone has a soul mate, I’d had mixed feelings. I like having choices. And I don’t like being told what to do. It was hard for me to come to terms with the fact that in the universal scheme of things, everything was pre-ordained. The purpose of every soul’s life was to learn, grow, and find their mate. And every soul’s path was leading them to that eventuality. If what Emil said was true, there was a choice involved, but the choice was just whether or not a soul would choose to stay with their soul mate once they found each other.

“Is it possible to choose the wrong soul mate? Because if it is, you’re not only affecting yourself, you’re also robbing your real soul mate of their chance for true love. And it affects the person you’ve chosen to be with and their true soul mate too. It could spiral into a mess pretty darn fast.” I’d thought about it in relation to the souls the Daevos had taken as well. The Daevos’ mission was to find soul mates and take half of the soul. This left the other soul still alive and very unbalanced. Without their mate to help balance them, the remaining soul was more likely to join the Daevos. Regardless, it didn’t seem fair for people to go through life, and eternity, without their other half.

Emil stopped walking and gave me a steady stare. Clearly I wasn’t asking a general question. I’m the only person in the history of the world who has two soul mates: Alex and Emil. No one knows why, and I’m not sure what will happen when I do choose, since it will leave one of them without a soul mate. Forever.

Emil watched me trying to puzzle it out. Wrinkles formed at the corners of his eyes as he tilted his head. He seemed to be choosing his words carefully. “It’s not possible to make the wrong choice, Evie. Soul mates will always search each other out. Life after life, they’re pulled to each other by a cosmic force, making decisions and growing—sometimes together, sometimes apart—until they’re ready to make the ultimate commitment to each other. It’s not something that happens in fifty years, or even a hundred. You might meet your soul mate in your first life, but it will take time and maturity to make that commitment. When it’s right, a person knows who to choose. Deep in their soul. When it comes to love, there aren’t wrong decisions. What you have to decide is what, and who, is right for you.”

“So, basically, if you choose “wrong,” it means you’re not ready for the right soul mate yet?” I blew out a frustrated breath. “It seems so unfair. That explanation works for everyone else, but not for me. I have two soul mates. When I choose, one of you will be alone, and I’ll never be able to get rid of that guilt. Most of the time I don’t think I’ll ever be able to choose between you and Alex. I think it would be easier to just stay friends with you both, but,” I inhaled deeply, turning to him, “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

The muscles in Emil’s cheeks tensed in reaction. He stared toward the mountains behind the college, then exhaled. “It’s hard for me to walk the line between supporting your decision to choose the right person for you, and still keep my own wants in check.” He paused. “So, I’ll just say this: I know what it’s like to be your friend, and I know what it’s like to be a lot more than friends. I want to be more again.” He turned and looked me square in the eyes. “You don’t remember how good things were, but I do. And I could make sure you never forget—if you give me the chance.”

I held his eyes, seriously tempted to let him have that opportunity. I shook my head to get the thought out of my mind.

“Evie, you chose me before. Don’t you think you had a good reason for making the decision?”

It was times like this I really wished I could control my flashbacks. That way, instead of seeing random events from my past lives, I could choose and know exactly what had happened between me, Emil, and Alex, and why I’d chosen Emil. “I don’t know? I can’t remember,” I said, exasperated. “I was a different person then. My soul has changed. Maybe we wouldn’t be good together anymore.”

Emil’s eyes darkened. “Being good together was never a problem for us. In fact, we were good together over and over again.”

My eyes got wide at his insinuation. I almost felt like I should walk a few paces ahead of him just to get some distance between us. If he kept saying things like that, I was going to be a lot more tempted than I already was.

I shook off the comment. “If the situation was reversed and you were in Alex’s position, what would you want me to do?” I asked. Alex had been loyal to me for centuries. He’d loved me, protected me, and devoted his whole life to me, without any guarantees that one day I’d love him as much as he loved me, or decide he was my soul mate. He’d never had a chance for a relationship with me in the past—at least, as far as I knew. Instead he was waiting, hoping I’d eventually feel the same way for him that he felt for me. He believed I’d made a mistake in choosing Emil before. Emil didn’t agree.

Emil thought about my question. “I would want you to be happy, no matter what. No matter how much it hurt. And I would do anything to make sure you were safe—I think I proved that when I told you about the Daevos two hundred and fifty years ago and made you leave me. All I care about, all I have ever cared about, is that you’re happy. If Alex is the one who does that for you, I’ll support your decision.” Emil took in my stunned expression. “This constant battle you’re having over me and Alex isn’t good for you. If I thought it would help, I’d leave you alone, but I don’t think that would make you happy either.”

He was completely right, I knew it. I just didn’t want to admit how I felt to myself. Now that Emil was calling me on it, I knew I’d have to deal with my emotions soon. I kept getting stuck on Emil’s certainty that I would know who to choose. I didn’t. Maybe that meant I wasn’t ready to choose yet, or maybe it meant neither one of them was right for me. If being without a soul mate would leave Alex or Emil unbalanced, what would happen to them? Would they become evil like other Daevos members? I sighed, thinking about the possibilities. I couldn’t help but wonder if it would be better to just not choose at all.