The next morning, a shiny, red envelope was taped to my bedroom door. I shuffled over to it, still tired from sleep. My name was written across the front of the envelope in Alex’s familiar, sharp-angled handwriting. I opened it to find a black matte card with metallic silver and red hearts on the front. The inside read:

Happy Valentine’s Day, Evie. I’m picking you up at noon. Wear something warm. Love, Alex.

Valentine’s Day. I’d completely forgotten the holiday. Now that I thought about it, there had been heart-shaped balloons and decorations around campus. The card was sweet, and a date with Alex would be a welcome reprieve from everything else going on. Even though he could be a jerk sometimes, Alex still did some nice things for me occasionally—and sometimes yelling or glaring wasn’t even involved.

I grabbed my robe from the door and went into the bathroom to get ready.

When I got downstairs, a huge vase of beautiful pink orchids was sitting on the table next to a large vase of stunning sterling roses. I looked from one vase to the other; tangible representations of the men in my life. I took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet perfume, and shook my head trying not to think about whether I liked orchids or roses more. I noticed a box next to the flowers and picked it up: my mom’s care package. I opened it and found her special Valentine’s cookie assortment: chocolate chip, peanut butter, and sugar cookie. She’d sent four heart-shaped tins. One for me, Jas, Alex, and Emil. Her note said she thought she better cover all the bases. Smart mom. Even she knew I couldn’t choose between them.

Alex hadn’t been kidding about picking me up at noon. He’s annoyingly punctual. I imagined it had something to do with his need to control things. We were in his dark blue H3 Hummer—the vehicle he preferred during the winter because of its excellent four-wheel drive, a fact he pointed out to me on multiple occasions.

He’d been very secretive about giving me any location details, but we’d been driving for over an hour when we finally turned onto a dirt road. The pot holes were enough to make me thankful for the Hummer’s shocks. My Mustang wouldn’t have handled this road well.

We were on the snow covered dirt road for at least another fifteen minutes before we turned onto a long, gravel driveway. At the end of the driveway I saw a rustic, well-preserved rambler-style home with brown wood siding, red trim, and two large windows facing the driveway. The front door was a cheery red that matched the window trim. One of the house windows was open slightly. I could smell sweet honey, sugar, and butter. I saw a woman walk past the window. The smell immediately took my mind to my house growing up and all the time my mom spent in the kitchen making bread, cinnamon rolls, cookies and every other treat under the sun. It made me nostalgic. I couldn’t help but think of how much I loved the smell of an active kitchen with family, and yummy baked treats.

Beyond the house stood a large white barn. I could see the hayloft from the car and I wondered what kind of animals would require a hayloft of that magnitude. I found out less than a minute later.

Alex parked, and opened the Hummer door for me. I followed him into the barn, which was surprisingly warm. We were met by an older man in a long-sleeved red and white checkered flannel shirt, and heavy coat. He was moving hay with a pitchfork.

Alex greeted him, “Hello, Mr. Fisk.”

“Alex,” the man put his hand out. Alex met it with a solid shake. “It’s good to see you again.”

Alex nodded, smiling. “It’s good to be here.” He gestured to me. “This is Evie.”

The man flashed a big smile. “So you’re the girl he can’t stop talking about.”

It was a statement, but I answered anyway. “I hope so. And I hope he’s been saying nice things.”

“Nice doesn’t even cover it,” Farmer Fisk said. “The man’s completely smitten with you!”

I laughed, thinking the word “smitten” conveyed an emotion that had far more estrogen in it than Alex was capable of feeling.

“Are they ready?” Alex asked Farmer Fisk.

They? I raised my brows and shot Alex a wary look.

“Sure are!” he answered. “Follow me.”

Alex took my hand as we walked side-by-side to a row of stalls at the end of the massive barn. When we got there, I was greeted by something I should have been prepared for, but absolutely wasn’t.

A horse. Judging by the weird noises coming from its nose and the eyes that seemed to follow me everywhere like one of those creepy paintings, it seemed this one had taken a particular interest in me.

I stared at the horse, black as a moonless night, and eyes to match. Okay, technically its eyes were brown, but the horse looked like the devil, and the devil has evil eyes. It was large. Very, very large.

“They’re saddled and you can take them whenever you’re ready,” Farmer Fisk said.

He pointed out the other horse before giving us a few more general instructions about where to ride and what to do when we got back to the barn after our adventure was over, and then ambled out of the barn. He was probably going in the house to get some yummy food. I almost followed him. I’d much rather be inside than facing a thousand pound beast.

“I like my transportation to come with a motor, not a heartbeat, Alex.”

He laughed loudly.

I was not amused.

“You ride four wheelers all the time,” he said, checking the saddle and leading the devil horse out of the stall.

I backed up a bit, eying the horse warily. She seemed to be looking at me the exact same way. “Machines only gallop when I tell them to. This,” I said, waving my hand in the general direction of the horse, “has a mind of its own.”

The horse huffed as if it understood me. I’d say that was impossible, but there wasn’t much I believed was actually impossible anymore. I kept staring. I couldn’t get over the sheer size of the horse. It made me nervous. “I’m pretty sure this horse belongs to a Ringwraith. They wouldn’t want me riding their horse. It would be a really bad idea to piss those guys off.”

Alex laughed softly, shaking his head. “Give it a chance, Evie. She’s a gentle, beautiful horse.”

I eyed Alex, and the horse, suspiciously.

“You know,” Alex said, “you used to love riding.”

I snorted. Clearly my Cassandra incarnation was loony. I was sure the explanation was that cars hadn’t been invented yet, so I’d made do with what I had. And I’d bet I took the carriage route over being jostled on a horse’s back any day.

“Come on,” he said, holding out his hand. “I’ll help you up.”

I wrinkled my nose distastefully and Alex smiled. When I didn’t move, he came over, dragging me to the horse.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m sure it will come back to you like riding a bike.”

“Yet another mode of transportation that doesn’t have a brain. We should go bike riding instead.”

“Maybe next time,” Alex answered. “When there’s not snow on the ground.”

“I might not survive this time.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

I wrinkled my nose again. He knew how much I hated drama, which is why he said it. When I’m antagonized, it makes me more determined. He knew I wouldn’t back down from his challenge, even if it was something I didn’t want to do.

I put my foot in the stirrup and Alex held my waist as I swung up, balancing myself, and lifted my leg until I was straddling the animal. Surprised my momentum hadn’t catapulted me completely over the horse, I pushed my chest out a little, proud I’d successfully mounted the beast. I settled in the saddle, holding on and trying not to look down. It was only about five feet to the ground, but it might as well have been five hundred.

I watched Alex walk to, and mount, his horse—a caramel colored mare with a diamond-shaped patch on its nose—with ease. It looked much gentler than my black beast, and I wondered why Alex hadn’t taken mine instead. He’d been riding horses for years. He was practically a professional. He should have taken the scary one.

Alex gave me a few basic instructions, and told me to follow him. I said I’d likely be following him on my back with my foot stuck in the stirrup after I’d been bucked off—or killed by the Witch King—but Alex didn’t seem too concerned.

He was right. I was fine. I hate when he’s right.

We spent the next part of our date on horseback, talking and laughing as we navigated the forest beyond the farm. I was proud I remained in the saddle the whole time. Based on my limited knowledge of horses, I thought the fact that I didn’t get bucked off meant the horse kind of liked me. Weird. I’d always been convinced my relationship with horses only extended to the mechanical kind.

The cold mountain air wasn’t ideal for being outside, so we only rode for about an hour. We made our way back to the farm, stopping outside the barn. Alex dismounted first, before helping me.

Taking the reins of the horses, we led them inside to the tack room. Alex unsaddled the animals as I stood back, watching. The actions seemed familiar, and in the back of my mind, I knew I’d done them before. He handed me a brush, showing me how to brush them down. When their coats were shining, we led them back to their stalls where they had fresh water. Alex handed me an apple to give to the horse. He showed me how to cup my hand and cradle the fruit so I kept all my fingers. No longer wary, I lifted the apple to the horse’s mouth as I patted her on the head. Black Beauty took the apple, chomping away happily and I laughed.

I took a deep breath, smiling. As I inhaled, the combination of the leather saddles, hay, and clean air struck me like a fifty pound weight and I fell into a flashback.

“Don’t hold the reins too tight!” Alex yelled, his tone playful, but slightly concerned. His face was the epitome of youth: full cheeks, soft lips, sparkling emerald eyes and shoulder length dark brown hair that seemed to dance in the breeze. He was wearing light brown breeches, a long sleeved yellow shirt, and brown vest over the top.

He was young. So was I.

I was a girl on the cusp of becoming a young woman. I bounced in the seat of the saddle, wearing a yellow riding dress with lace around the collar and sleeves. My chestnut curls spiraled down my back, unruly in the breeze. I rubbed the black horse on the neck, whispering to it as we galloped around the property, passing a stately gray stone home so large it could house an entire town. A large stable was behind the house. The hills seemed to roll for miles in every direction.

I took a deep breath, smelling the sweet perfume of blooming flowers in the air. Alex galloped by on a dark brown horse, its coat as smooth and shiny as melted chocolate. “Whispering to the horse won’t help you win,” he yelled as he passed me. My eyes immediately narrowed and my focus dialed in. “Run, Ruby,” I whispered. In an instant, we were flying. Moving across the ground at a shocking speed, I passed Alex easily. I rounded the marker at the end of the course we’d laid out, and made it back to the stables, the starting point of the race, before Alex had even circled the marker.

I was off Ruby, patting her neck and looking in her eyes, whispering more words as Alex came to a running stop, his face screwed up in displeasure. Alex didn’t like to lose. Neither did I.

“How did you do that, Cass?” Alex asked, sliding out of his saddle.

I looked at him wide-eyed. “What do you mean? You’re the one who challenged me to a race. You should not be surprised I won.”

Alex pursed his lips. “I wouldn’t be surprised, provided I hadn’t taught you to ride only two weeks ago.”

I shrugged. “I learn quickly.”

“You were riding one of the slowest horses in the yard.”

I flashed a wide grin. “My success would say otherwise.”

“Tell me,” Alex said, exasperated. “How did you beat me? Next to father’s horse, I have the fastest steed in the stable.”

“Perhaps you should get to know your animal better.”

He sputtered like I’d insulted him. “I know my animal far better than you know yours.”

I patted Ruby on the head, giving her an apple from a bucket next to the feed trough. “I wanted to win. I told her to run. And we won.”

Alex shot me a glare as he stomped off, pulling his horse with him. I knew he was angry he’d lost, and even angrier he’d lost to a girl with less experience than him.

I stepped back as my horse bent into the trough, taking a long drink. I smiled, pleased with myself, and looked toward the house. I waved at the stunning woman wearing a deep wine colored dress with a low bust. Her black-brown hair was piled up on her head with longer curls draping down her neck. She was beautiful in a classic way—high sculpted cheekbones, porcelain skin, bright red lips, emerald eyes. Alex’s mom. She’d stood, watching Alex and me with a keen eye. She waved back, a curious expression on her face. Her hand fell, and I went back to grooming Ruby.

I took a deep breath as I came out of the memory. I was getting better at keeping my flashback reaction less noticeable, but I still steadied myself against the gate. Alex noticed. “Are you okay?” he asked.

I nodded, my breath less ragged. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” He came over and stood behind me, a commanding presence. His hands were a gentle weight on my arms as he turned me toward him. At first, he seemed to be looking for signs of distress, but as our eyes caught and held, I knew his thoughts were in other places, and mine were headed there, too. His hand slipped feather-light over my arms and down until they rested above my hips.

Like I was having some sort of out-of-body experience, I watched as my hand went up to his face, tracing the line of his jaw. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” I said in a very unconvincing way.

It wasn’t that I didn’t mean what I said. I did. And I still had enough blood flowing to my brain to vocalize it. But I was having a hard time convincing my rational side that I shouldn’t be making out with Alex. Especially when my rational side was practically screaming that I’d kissed Emil last night and to be fair, I should also make out with Alex. My rational side told me I wouldn’t want a double-standard. My rational side had lost its mind.

“Why?” Alex asked, inching slowly closer, his eyes dark in a way that made my legs feel like pudding.

There were so many possible answers to that question, with reasonable arguments for why we shouldn’t proceed, that I wasn’t sure which to choose. I started with, “What if the bracelet doesn’t work?”

Alex glanced down at my bracelet, giving a very slow smile I could only describe as predatory before eying me like he was preparing for an attack. Apparently a couple of centuries of sexual frustration will do that to you.

“It will,” he answered, still moving toward me.

“How can you be sure?”

“One, because we already tried it in your Mustang.”

Oh. Right.

“But we still don’t know it worked. Maybe no one was in the area hunting for soul mate bonds at the time.”

Alex’s mouth curved slightly in a smile part rapacious, part entertained. “I’ve been waiting a long time for a relationship with you, Evie. And for everything that comes with it. I wouldn’t have given you the bracelet if I wasn’t sure it would work. I gave it to you because I intend to put it to use.”

Sheesh! Judging by his dark, focused gaze, I knew he wasn’t kidding. And I was pretty sure there was a chance I was about to be deflowered in a barn. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Not exactly the romantic story you want to tell your friends. In fact, a barn would be worse than the back seat of a car. At least the seat had cushions and no animal audience.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” I shook my head, like that would emphasize my argument and stop his sultry advances. It didn’t.

His arms went around me tight, pulling me to him. My chest crushed into his, the hard planes of his stomach obvious even through our clothes. He stared down at me, not loosening his embrace. My breath was shallow as I stared back, wondering how long it would be until we both lost all common sense and flung each other down into the fresh bed of hay. He moved his lips over my cheeks, the soft skin brushing wispy strokes over my face. When he got to my ear, he took the soft pad in his lips and nipped lightly, whispering one word. “Why?”

Why? Why what? Had there been a question? I fumbled around in my head for what we’d been talking about. Oh. That’s right. Bad idea. This is a bad idea. Why is it still a bad idea? What was my list again? I did more fumbling and found one. “What about Emil?”

I felt Alex tense, his shoulders becoming taut under his shirt. “He’s not invited to this conversation.”

Geez! Alex had always been overbearing, but apparently when it came to sex, he was not only overbearing, but alarmingly primitive. Again, I attributed the aggression to decades of pent up frustration.

“Don’t you think he’ll be upset?”

Alex kept kissing down my neck, and I moaned. His hands moved around to my stomach, unzipping my coat. He quickly discarded it on the ground. “I wasn’t thrilled when I walked outside and saw you braced against the house with your legs around him, and his shirt half off.”

Touché.

“We all agreed to the rules,” Alex said, his hands moving lightly under my sweater, inching it up ever so slightly. I’d never been addicted to anything, but imagined this was how addiction started. A little at a time. Alex pulled my sweater over my head, and kept kissing back up my neck and along my jawline. “We’re not doing anything wrong.”

I looked at where our hands were, and the clothes slowly making their way to the ground. We were about to be doing things that were wrong in a very good way. “I guess it depends on your definition. Emil would think this is seriously wrong.”

The muscles at Alex’s jaw ticked, his eyes glittering with a combination of passion and anger. “I told you,” he said, moving swiftly, one arm sliding under my thighs, the other around my back. He lifted me, cradling me in his arms, and walked down the row of stalls to an empty one at the end of the barn. Fresh hay was scattered in large mounds, creating a soft bed on the ground—albeit a scratchy one, but better than the dirt floor. He laid me down gently in the hay straddling me, the years of want and need, written across his face. “We’re not talking about him.” With that, he was on top of me, the kiss aggressive. I could feel my soulmark burning, and my bracelet seemed to be giving off heat as well. If this kept up, I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole barn burst into flames.

“Wait!” I said, stopping to catch my breath. “What if someone walks in on us?”

He was preoccupied with pulling my shirt the rest of the way out of my pants and unbuttoning it while he kissed his way up my stomach. I gave a muffled cry, a little preoccupied myself. “Took care of it,” he mumbled in the general direction of my belly button.

Judging by the short, incomplete sentences, Alex seemed to be lacking blood in the brain area as well. “You took care of it?” I asked, lifting myself up on my forearms and raising my head. “What, did you take the farmer’s soul?”

He stopped, sparing me an annoyed glance. “I paid him.”

“To leave us alone?”

“To leave. Period.”

I’d had a point to make…I just needed to remember what it was. Seeing Alex on top of me—showcasing his CrossFit results—was distracting. I closed my eyes and shook my head, hoping the cobwebs would recede. They did. “Alex, we are not having sex for the first time with an audience of farm animals. I’m laid-back about most things, but when it comes to this, I have standards. A bed would be nice.”

Alex’s biceps bulged as he held himself over me while we had our little chat. “I’m sure we could find one around here somewhere.”

I rolled my eyes.

His mouth curved in a half smile. “Evie, I’ve been waiting centuries to make love to you. You don’t honestly think I’d let it happen in the middle of a barn, do you?” He paused to take in my reaction. My eyes were almost as thin as my lips. “You should know me better than that.”

I glanced down at my half-off shirt, and felt the straw pieces pushing into my back that I’d undoubtedly be picking out of my clothes and hair for the rest of the night. “It kinda seems like that’s where things are heading.”

Alex shook his head slightly. “I’ve waited far too long to rush this, Evie. There are plenty of things that come before sex. I want to try them all.”

Alrighty, then. Glad I knew where I stood…or, rather, lay.

With that declaration, Alex went back to concentrating on my buttons. It didn’t take long for him to get them undone and my breath started coming faster. He moved his hands—not too soft, but not rough, either—over my stomach, pushing my shirt open until it fell to my sides, under my arms. He paused, taking me in, like he was memorizing every detail. I was glad I’d worn a pretty hot pink and black lace bra. Judging by Alex’s expression, he was glad too.

He slowly ran the tips of his fingers over the lace, feather light. I breathed a ragged sigh and met his eyes. He smiled while his hands moved from the edges of the fabric and cupped me. He bent his head down to start kissing my chest when we heard a hmm, hmm cough from outside the stall we were rolling around in. It certainly didn’t sound like a horse. I sat up, pushing Alex off me as I quickly started buttoning my shirt. Alex stood slowly, reticent to leave me half-clothed in a pile of hay, and leaned over the stall gate.

I heard a woman’s voice. “Dinner is ready, dear.” The voice was high and sweet. It reminded me of my grandma. And if getting caught having almost-sex in a barn wasn’t enough to sour the mood, the humiliation of getting caught having almost-sex in a barn by grandma certainly was.

I stood, tucking my shirt back in before finger-combing hay from my hair. “Thanks, Mrs. Fisk. We’ll be there shortly,” Alex said.

He turned back around, completely unembarrassed. He pulled his sweater on, his t-shirt lifting with the movement to reveal a rock-hard stomach. Grandma, I told myself. Think about grandma.

“I thought you said we weren’t supposed to be bothered. Maybe you didn’t pay him enough.”

Alex had all his clothes back in place now and came over to help me with the straw situation. Considering my hormones were still screaming pounce him! I didn’t think his help was the best idea, but I needed someone to excavate the hay.

“I guess dinner got done early,” he said, one hand on my waist as he helped with my hair.

I scowled. “You should have warned me. That was embarrassing.”

Alex smiled, amused. “She heard the noises. She stopped before she got to our stall. I’m sure this wasn’t her first experience with people kissing in the barn.”

“That really doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“You can apologize at dinner,” he said, tapping me on the shoulder to let me know I was hay-free. I turned and he slipped his hand into mine. “Come on.”

Great. Grandma made us dinner while we were making out. This would be an awkward meal.

Dinner wasn’t as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. Alex explained the house was actually a romantic Bed and Breakfast. He’d rented out the whole place for Valentine’s Day. We weren’t staying the night—which I had mixed feelings about—but we got to have a fabulous homemade dinner.

Grandma had done some winking when we mentioned putting the horses away, but for the most part, she’d just shown us to a table decorated with a lacy pale pink tablecloth, and brought us our meal. Another large vase with pink orchids was on the table, reminding me of the flowers at home, and the date Alex had planned for me at his house last summer. We ate, talked, and laughed, watching the candles melt in the process. When we were finished, we said goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Fisk and drove back to Gunnison.

Ending dates with Alex and Emil felt weird. Saying, “Thanks, see ya next time” seemed too informal, but inviting them up to my room wasn’t an option either. And considering how kissing had gone with both of them lately, that didn’t seem like the brightest idea, anyway. Even though the date was over, they were still staying at the house making sure no Daevos got me in my sleep. I also hoped they were watching for spiders. I’d read a statistic that said people eat eight spiders a year in their sleep. I was way more concerned about that sleep security issue than the Daevos sneaking in to take my soul. I’d wake up for a soul theft, but spiders on a suicide mission are sneaky.

I dropped my purse on the table as we went in the house. “Do you want something to drink?” I asked, opening the fridge. “We have Pepsi, milk, water, juice, and energy drinks.”

“Water would be great,” Alex said from the living room.

I filled two glasses with filtered water from the fridge and took them into the living room. Alex motioned for me to sit down. “I haven’t given you your Valentine’s Day present yet.”

I stared at him. I hadn’t gotten him—or Emil—a present. I’d forgotten the holiday completely. “I didn’t get you anything.” I was dating two guys and couldn’t even remember to get them a gift for the holiday that celebrates love. Girlfriend fail.

Alex waved me off like I shouldn’t feel bad.

“You planned a beautiful date for us,” I said. “That was enough. You don’t need to give me something, too.”

He moved over, crouching down in front of me, his hands on my knees. “Evie, I’ve been waiting years to spend Valentine’s Day with you and give you a gift.” He searched my eyes. “Let me do this.”

I stared. “Okay,” I answered. It didn’t ease my guilt, but it was something he wanted to do, and it was important to him. That meant a lot to me.

He reached around the couch and handed me a large, slim rectangular package, wrapped in metallic pink paper with a silver ribbon off-center around the right side. A matching bow was perfectly placed on top of the ribbon.

I took it from him, quickly deciding it might be easier to open if I put it down. I placed it gently on the coffee table, and scooted forward onto the edge of the couch, looking from the gift to Alex. He moved back against the overstuffed chair next to the couch and watched with bright eyes. “Open it.”

I lifted the gift, gently pulling the tape from the folded paper on the back. It came undone easily. I repeated the same thing on the other side. The paper fell away, revealing a beautiful painting of a lake, the bright blues and pinks of the sunset reflected in the water and the lake surrounded by hills and mountains in the background. I’d seen this painting before. I’d been particularly enamored of it on Alex’s wall in his house. “Alex,” I said, a little breathless. “It’s beautiful!” I stared at it and the same familiar feeling that had hit me the first time I looked at it hit me again, but I couldn’t place it. I glanced up. Alex was watching me carefully. “I remember it from your collection.”

He nodded slowly, studying me for a few seconds longer. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but knew he hadn’t found it when his face fell almost imperceptibly. He gave the ghost of a smile. “It’s by Richard Wilson. It’s one of my favorites.”

I could tell the painting meant a lot to him. “I can’t take this, Alex. It’s too special.”

He smiled again. “Yes, it is. And that’s why I gave it to you.”

I shook my head, prepared to protest. He put a finger to my lips silencing me. “Nothing could be more special than you.” He kissed me lightly and I put my arms around him, kissing him back. Thanking him for the painting, the day, and for all the years he’d spent taking care of me and making sure I was safe. Even if we didn’t always get along, sometimes he had moments of flawlessness. Today had been one of them.

I pulled back from the kiss, worried about ending up in the same position as the barn again. “Will you help me hang it?” I asked.

He nodded and stood, pulling me up from the couch with him. We settled on a spot next to the dining room table. It was visible from any part of the room and far enough from the fireplace that we wouldn’t have to worry about the heat affecting the paint. He had also brought a protective glass cover for it. We ended the night cuddled on the couch under a throw blanket, watching the flames of the fire, content.