Chapter 25
On our hour long ride back to Dallas and back to Gamma High, Adam and I formulated our plan of action. If we were right, the only thing Venus and Bart would have time to do was set up a few water balloons and get dressed before the dance started.
And since the dance was in the gym there wasn’t a lot that could be hidden. So it made sense that the only place you could hide the balloons would be from above the temporary stage where the lights and curtains had been hung. No one would notice Bart coming and going from the gym since he was, in fact, a jock and a gym rat. And no one would say anything to Venus because no one ever says nada to Venus.
The sun was setting and the sky was turning from that pretty pink to a dark blue as we drove into Gamma’s parking lot. When we got out we could see a few well-dressed stragglers hoofing it to the gym. I grabbed my backpack, and Adam and I followed in hot pursuit.
With the music thundering and the dance in full swing, Adam and I walked right in since there wasn’t anybody manning the ticket tables.
Even though the lights were dim, I could tell that everybody looked amazing. The Dramaticas were in their corner wearing black pleather and velvet while the band girls dressed up in green taffeta to show their school spirit. The sci-fi gang, who were mostly dateless boys, flashed their style with khaki pants, white short sleeve shirt with skinny ties. And never to be out done, the J+L posse came paparazzi-ready, with the guys in suits without ties and girls with slinky dresses, fake tans and lots of body glitter All these beautiful people, regardless of clique or class, made me wonder what fantastic outfit I would have chosen to wear on the biggest night of our lives. And even for a stinky ole gym, the smell of perfume, cologne, and corsages almost made me forget we were on a mission. That was until Mr. Sekin said that they would be announcing the court in about five minutes and then they would start the dance contest.
“Let me remind you students to ease up on any dirty dancing since we are representing Gamma High with a TV crew present,” Mr. Sekin ordered in his brief moment onstage at the mic.
“Is he serious?” I asked loudly.
“Hardly,” Adam said. “You can’t expect to have a dance with bumping and grinding music and a bunch of hormonal students desperately grasping for their fifteen seconds of glory and not have some dirty dancing.”
Adam and I rolled our eyes at each other, and then Adam grabbed my hand and led me through the dirty-dancing couples toward the back of the stage. Once there, it wasn’t hard to hide by blending in with the video crew and the pandemonium.
Being so close to my fellow freshman Homecoming finalists and the deafening speakers, I could feel my heart start racing as I tried to take it all in. I first saw Susan, who had this long dark purple gown with a gold sash that looked like she had pulled it from the wardrobe trailer on the set of a Harry Potter sequel. She looked, yet again, like a wizardly wonder. Her hair was twisted in a French braid and she had on her Coke-bottle glasses. Didn’t she remember anything I had shown her? Well, I stood corrected, she did eat just the right amount of White Away Right Away jelly beans to give her cheeks a healthy glow tonight.
Next, I spied Mase, who looked exactly the same as he normally does except he had on a black leather jacket over his T-shirt and classic checkered Vans. He looked a bit uneasy. He was chomping on a wad of gum, but I knew it definitely wasn’t Gabber Gum because he still wasn’t saying anything.
Traci Armstrong was dressed quite fem tonight in a pale blue sleeveless satin dress that showed off her well-toned arms and brought out the blue in her eyes. She wore a stunning updo. And equally stunning next to her was my buddy Jimbo. Nothing unexpected. Jimbo came in a pair of beige slacks, a short-sleeve shirt, and a tie. A bow tie. And that brought a smile to my face.
My smile crumpled when I saw Miss Hunter strutting around with a richly tuxed Bart. Venus had chosen a black dress that was cut so low the rating wasn’t even PG. I guess she picked this dress to help detract from the scratch on her face, which was heavily covered up with concealer, and her fat lip, which was grossly overglossed.
My heart started beating even faster when I thought about her and Bridge getting into a catfight, and I kept trying to take deep breaths to calm myself down. It did appear to work for a moment until I saw Bridge.
She was draped in a gorgeous cotton-candy-colored strapless cocktail dress. The top of the dress was fitted and the bottom was beautifully puffed out like a ballerina’s gown. I just knew that Mrs. Joiner was proud of Bridge’s wardrobe choice. What I was most proud of was that Bridge hadn’t even tried to cover up her black eye. Even with it she looked gorgeous. That was fierceness in fashion. That was Gamma Glamma.
“Can I have all my freshman finalists come up to the stage at this time,” ordered Mr. Sekin backstage. The crowd started cheering over the music.
My eyes were still affixed on Miss Joiner when Adam grabbed my arm.
“Luz, heads up. Are you ready to do this?” barked Adam.
“Listo! Yeah, I’m ready!” I shouted back.
“What did you say?!” yelled Adam.
“I said I’m ready to do this!” I screamed.
It was hard to hear because of the thumping beats that continued to pump through the speakers. And it was even harder to read lips since it was dark, not to mention the camera crew kept jumping between Adam and me to get new shots. It was completely nuts. Adam still looked puzzled and I just gave him a thumbs-up.
Suddenly, a crew guy trampled on me. “Hey!” I said, totally mad that he didn’t look where he was walking.
“You’re in a high-traffic area, kid,” grunted the grip as he stepped on the stage.
When I stepped to the side and out of the way, nothing could prepare me for what was going to happen next. Bridge spotted Adam.
“Adam!” yelled Bridge excitedly. “Adam, come here!” Bridge yelled again.
This time Adam heard Bridge, and for a moment Adam froze when he saw how beautiful Bridge looked. He looked around nervously but couldn’t see me.
“Adam, hurry!” Bridge motioned as she invited him up on stage. Adam followed Bridge’s command reluctantly, especially since all he was wearing was a T-shirt, a pair of plaid shorts, and his sandals. The crowd let out a roar.
“Adam!” I yelled.
It was pointless. There was no way he was going to hear me now.
The lights were dimmed even further and a very bright spotlight came up on the stage as Mr. Sekin approached the microphone. The crowd started to simmer down just enough that I thought this would be my chance to get Adam’s attention. And I was just about to yell when something shiny caught my eye. The crowns. Not just any crowns but the freshman crowns.
I still had my backpack and I quickly dug through it while spilling my science gear, gadgets, and other random personal belongings backstage on the floor. Retrieving the truth extractors, I shoved the electrodes and power supplies as far as I could into the upper part of the crowns and quickly wired them in. There wasn’t time to dally, and at this point, I didn’t really think Mase and Susan would actually win.
But I wanted to be prepared and I wanted Venus and Bart to be prepared to tell the truth. And with small flicks of the tiny little switches, I turned my latest devices on.
“What are you doing?” interrupted some boorish production assistant from the TV crew.
“I was just getting these ready for the presentation,” I lied. I know, I was supposed to be telling the truth now, but really, I was getting them ready for the presentation.
“Excuse me, but when you go to school and study film, then maybe you can take over my job. But until then, hands off the props, sweetheart.” And with that the production assistant jerked the crowns from my hand.
Must remember to never go to school to study film. What freaks! I thought.
Suddenly the music stopped and Mr. Sekin tapped on the microphone.
“I would now like to announce one more time your finalists for the freshman Homecoming Court!” The cheers were deafening.
One by one Mr. Sekin began calling names. He first started with B-Dawg’s name and mentioned that B-Dawg couldn’t be present due to a wrestling injury but wished him a speedy recovery. The crowd responded by clapping and cheering, “Woof! Woof! Woof!” I saw Bridge give a piercing glare at Venus, who simply responded by showing off her shiny fangs.
My name was called next and Mr. Sekin announced I was representing Gamma at the science regionals and wished me luck. Yeah, I was going to need all the luck I could get, especially since I was practically standing behind him and I could only imagine what Swen and Dr. Hamrock were thinking back at the competition. The crowd continued to cheer and I did hear a few kids scream in unison, “Geek! Geek! Geek!” It was a magical moment, but I had to slap myself out of it.
Mr. Sekin finished calling everyone else’s names and now it was time to announce the winners and activate our plan. All I knew was that if on the off chance the winners were Mase and Susan, Adam and I would push the duo away from where they were standing and into safety. I just hoped that Adam hadn’t forgotten our mission and was ready for whatever was about to happen.
Luckily, Adam was in the absolute perfecto spot on stage, right next to Susan and Mase. If need be, Adam and I could bum-rush them from their left side toward Venus and Bart.
“And your freshman winners are Susssan Seeeammmus and Massson Milllaaammm,” Mr. Sekin announced.
Slow motion. I had never experienced an actual slowing down of time in my life, but now I had and it was quite horrible. That’s when I screamed, “Gooo Adammm.” I charged up the stairs and rushed toward Susan. Adam apparently had a delayed reaction and did nothing. I flew on to the stage, and due to my short stature, I lunged at Susan’s legs. Susan stumbled on her wizard wardrobe to her right and Mase tried to hold her up (like he had done with me during my hair disaster).
Then Adam decided to take flight and leap in like a large awkward ballerina and tackled Mase, who flew another two feet to his right and toward Venus. We were all like a giant ripple of ugliness. And Venus and Bart quickly stepped to their right and back and out of our path of destruction.
Susan and Mase were startled, to say the least, and had no idea of what (or who) had hit them. When Adam and I stood up and tried to help them back on their feet, that’s when they were hit again, this time with the falling water balloons. Susan yelped, unable to see anymore through her wet spectacles, and Mase didn’t need to speak. I could tell he was furious. The crowd started roaring with oohs and laughter.
“What’s going on here?! Are you two responsible for this?!” Mr. Sekin screamed.
“No!” Adam screamed back as he picked up his glasses from the stage. It took a moment but then Mr. Sekin noticed me.
“Luz Santos, why aren’t you at Regionals?”
“Uh, I can explain ...”
“You can do all your explaining in the Youth Action Center,” barked Coach Smith as he jumped onstage and grabbed Adam and me by our arms.
And that’s when Mr. Sekin got back on the mic. “Okay, everybody calm down. Let’s get this show on the road. Your Homecoming freshman representatives are Susan Seamus and Mason Milam.”
The crowd gave a deafening roar and Adam and I looked at each other in complete shock. Then as we were being hauled to school jail I started to laugh. But then I remembered that Mase and Susan were about to be crowned and I got worried that since they were now wet they might get shocked or something.
I yanked myself away from Coach Smith’s grip and passed Adam as I ran back toward the stage. The Student Council members crowned Susan and Mase, but nothing happened—I mean, like electrocution or anything. I stood there completely frozen.
“Susan, would you like to say a few words?” asked Mr. Sekin.
Susan nodded, then walked up to the microphone and said more than a few.
“Uh, thanks for voting and choosing us. This is part of Luz Santos’s science experiment, and she said if she could just change a few things it would give us the edge to make us popular. I guess it worked. I didn’t really care about winning; I just wanted the extra credit so I could win valedictorian in three years, which is way more important than this dumb contest.” The crowd then let out a series of oohs and boos.
Por favor, Dios. No, she didn’t just say that! I thought. We are all doomed. And just as I was going to go up there and yank her crown off and hopefully pull the plug on the speech, Venus beat me to it.
“Omigod! You don’t even deserve to win!” Venus screamed in Susan’s pudgy face. “You and Bridget just cheated by, like, using your little secret freak-of-nature science experiment to lie to the student body. You’re a bunch of freaking liars!” And then Venus yanked the crown off Susan.
The fickle crowd began to roar and cheer. And this is exactly what I had been afraid of.
I wasn’t sure what to do next until my very special little friend Venus helped me out—she placed the crown on her own head and grabbed the mic.
“Y’all really deserve better and I just want you to know that in light of this corruption, I will accept being your freshman queen and want to personally invite each and every one of you to a victory celebration at my house next Saturday.”
I was glad the crowd was cheering so loud because Coach Smith had to give up his search for me to control the crowd. That gave me my chance to climb up onstage by Venus’s side.
“Get away from me, liar,” Venus hissed.
As expected, the crowd booed me. It took all I had not to mouth back. I just stood my ground and spoke into the mic since I just had a few questions for our new queen.
“Venus, as our new freshman queen, can I ask you a few questions?”
Venus just glared at me with a cock of her well-waxed eyebrow. I knew it was on.
“Venus, isn’t it true that you had a party not because you liked anyone but because you wanted to buy votes?” I asked as I looked at her and then into the crowd. A confused Venus looked out into the blinding spotlight.
“Uh, yes?” Venus couldn’t help but confirm. The extractors were on and so was I.
“And isn’t it true that you had no plans of letting Adam Bellows take you to the dance and that you were just using him to be a thorn in my side?”
“Well, yeah,” a glazed Venus said, unsure of what was happening to her.
Now Coach Smith jumped back on the stage but Mr. Sekin held him off. I knew I had better wrap things up quickly.
So I leaned into the microphone and said, “And yes, it’s true that I helped to enhance Mason, Susan, and Bridget for my science project, and that helped get them noticed. But it was all of you in the student body who chose to accept them into your groups, and when the TV crew started doing their coverage, the rest of you really got to know and like Mason, Susan, and Bridge. And then you voted for them. And isn’t it true, Venus, that you couldn’t stand the fact that somebody was more popular than you?”
Tears started to well up in Venus’s eyes. I started to feel bad. No, that’s a lie. I enjoyed every second of it.
Venus said, “Yes.” The crowd gasped.
I continued, “And lastly—I’m almost done, Mr. Sekin, I swear— “isn’t it true that you only liked Bart and let him take you to the dance because he’d do anything you say? And didn’t you both conspire in this vicious balloon attack on Mase and Susan?”
“Don’t answer that Venus!” demanded Bart.
Unfortunately for Venus, she was on a roll, and when she said yes, Bart lunged at her and knocked her down. For a moment, I thought that he was going to beat her up. But then Adam jumped in and Bart punched him and then Bridge jumped on Bart’s back kicking her pink kitten heels like she was riding a bronco.
That’s when the houselights came on. Party over. The cameras were still rolling and Coach Smith and Mr. Sekin had Bart in a headlock. The crown was off Venus’s head and she was crying uncontrollably. I think it was because it was the first time she felt human in, like, her whole lifetime.
Traci and Jimbo were talking with Susan to make sure she was okay. Bridge was checking on Adam’s new matching shiner and was screaming for ice. And finally, I realized that my stomach was screaming because I hadn’t eaten all day long and I just needed to sit down backstage, where no one could notice me.
And then that’s when I heard a voice on the microphone. I didn’t try to see who was talking because I figured it was some parent who was chaperoning or something. It was anything but.
“I want to say something,” the deep voice said. “I just wanted to say sorry to my friend Adam Bellows, since I found out through the magic of television that he didn’t nominate me, and I didn’t want to be nominated. And Luz Santos, wherever you are, I thought your science experiment was dumb at first, but I did it because you’ve always been cool to me. Yeah, I got to be popular or whatever. But you hooked me up with some good friends, especially in the stagehand department.”
From back in the corner of the gym, a crowd of Dramatica Gamma stagehands chanted, “Mase! Mase! Mase!”
Mase continued, “Uh, so that’s how we knew about the balloon sabotage and moved them out of the way. But since Adam and Luz performed some extreme moshing, they pushed us back in the way. ‘Thanks,’ guys. But anyway, I’d like to pass the hat—or crown—to Adam Bellows. I’m not into kingmanship or anything unless it’s the king of the buffet.”
Even with the sobering gym lights on, the crowd started cheering. I was soooo incredibly happy! I mustered all the strength I had and went over to Susan, who was about to put her crown back on. I ripped the extractor wires out before there were any more unnecessary revelations. And then I found Adam and cleaned out his crown before I placed it regally on his head.
Mr. Sekin escorted Venus and Bart away and asked Adam (with his crown, of course), Mason, and I to come down to the Youth Action Center and divulge all the details of this whole drama-rama. And then, Mr. Sekin turned the emcee duties over to Coach Smith.
And because Coach Smith is an athletic director and not an entertainer, he shouted out the names of the rest of the Homecoming Court like it was roll call for the marines.
As we walked outside the gym, we could still hear him ordering that the lights be dimmed again and the music started up and reminding our fellow classmates that he didn’t want any stray Gamma Stallions (yes, we are Pegasus horses, but a horse is a horse) wandering around on campus after the dance was over.
Yes, he was a bit of a buzz kill but at least he got the party started again. After Adam and I recounted the entire Gamma Glamma epic to Mr. Sekin, we were finally allowed with Mase to return to the dance. As we entered the dimly lit gym again to the pulsating music, it was impossible to see any negative impact our freshman class drama had had on the overall festivities.
Adam, Bridge, and I sat down together after visiting the buffet and chowed down on chips and salsa and cheap fruit punch.
“So, we have a lot to talk about,” Bridge joked to me as she smelled her wrist corsage made out of baby roses.
“You’re not kidding.”
“I’d ask you if you want to spend the night but you look tired.”
“And you look fabulous. Maybe next week.” I looked at her swollen cheek. “Does your eye hurt?”
“Only when I touch it.”
“So, don’t touch it then.” I smiled.
“You’re hilarious,” Bridge said. Not realizing how sensitive her cheek really was, she crunched hard on a carrot stick and winced in pain.
“I’m surprised Betty let you out of the house without trying to cover up that shiner,” I said.
Bridge nodded.
“If you want, I’m sure I can make some type of ointment that can help accelerate the ...”
“Luz! Stop! You’re delirious.”
“No, I’m a scientist and ...”
“So am I, and ... as your best friend I’m telling you that parading this black eye here tonight is my most important Gamma Glamma invention ever and it’s called courage.”
She definitely gave me a lightbulb moment. “Dang, Bridge, that’s really horribly sweet and profound.”
“And you know what I call my black eye? ‘Shiny,’ ” Adam said, now back to his sarcastic self.
“You know, Adam, I never realized how brilliant you are,” Bridge said as she leaned in lovingly from her chair and put her head on his shoulder.
“Really?” Adam said, quite taken aback.
“Yeah. Even with all our world and mad science falling apart you still managed to copy what I’m wearing for Homecoming.”
“Yes, I am brilliant.” We all laughed and gazed at the couples who were practicing their dirty-dancing skills on the gym floor.
Then, for a while Adam and Bridge compared the swelling of their shiners until Bridge’s phone rang and she jumped and ran out of the gym so she could hear—especially since she saw the call was from B-Dawg.
Mase came by our table after Susan dumped him. She said she wanted to hang out with Hector the oboe player who came alone to the dance. And truthfully (even without the “Truth B. Told”), Susan explained that she only said yes to going to the dance with Mase because they were on camera. And even though Mase was alone, he was relieved.
Once again the word traveled faster than the speed of light, and in an instant a gaggle of drama mamas were ready to escort Mr. Milam, the newly crowned “King of the Buffet,” during the last hour of Homecoming.
So now it was just Bellows and me, resting our heads on the table, and then one of those songs started playing. And I don’t even know the name of it. You just hear it at the end of every teen movie where the girl is teary eyed and pathetic and then her dream luva shows up and they dance at the end and the credits roll. Yeah, it was that song.
So then Adam said, “Wanna dance?”
“I guess so,” I said, feeling unsure whether I wanted to or not. I must have looked pretty sour faced.
“You don’t have to,” Adam snipped.
“I know. I’m just torn. I want to, so I can say I did, but I’m exhausted.” I put my head in my hands on the table, but a determined Adam grabbed my hand and dragged me to the dance floor. Since I’d long since pulled my boots off (because in my hurry to leave the house I hadn’t put on socks before I put my boots on and now I had blisters—again), I was now barefoot. Even in my trucker hat I only came up to Adam’s stomach. We danced for exactly two seconds. Adam threw my hands down.
“You’re right, I’m exhausted too,” said Adam, yawning.
And just as we turned around to head back to our table to observe and sleep, and maybe not in that order, Swen materialized out of nowhere and stood before you-know-who. And he was smiling. Thank God. We all just stood there in the middle of the dance floor looking at each other and doing nothing. It was rather awkward.
Finally, Adam broke the weirdness by yelling over the music through his cupped hand, as a small megaphone, “Did you want to cut in?!”
“No!” Swen hollered as he shook his head.
“What did you say?!” Adam screamed as he scrunched his face as if that was going to help him hear better or something.
“I said no!” Swen repeated, using both his hands to make a bigger megaphone.
“Alright! Well, then, I’ll leave you two alone anyway since my investigative gut tells me that you want to discuss the girl’s sudden disappearance from Regionals.!” Adam used his hands like sign language to make sure Swen understood what he was saying before he disappeared into the crowd, covered in reflections of twinkling disco ball lights.
I know this is not just improbable but completely dumb, but even with me looking like a barefoot science trucker who now had queso and salsa breath, I did kinda hope that Swen would ask me to dance. You know, just like in the movies. I mean, that stupid song was still playing and the dance was almost over. But he didn’t. So, we just moseyed back to the table where I had been sitting with Adam, and now it was Swen and I observing all the hormonal urges bumping and grinding on the dance floor.
“I can explain everything. How did you know where I was?”
“I’m a journalist, Luz.”
“You’re good.”
“I’m even better with your cell phone, which you left in my car.” Swen reached in his back pocket and pulled out my cell phone.
“So, that’s where it went,” I said, having a momentary flashback.
“Yeah, I hope you don’t mind that I answered it when your mom called.”
“Omigod. What did she say? What did you say?” I asked, feeling a bit freaked out.
“Well, she called before I realized you had escaped Regionals. I told her that I had dropped you off and I was looking for parking.”
“What did she say?” I asked, because I had to know.
“She said to call her when you had a chance. She told me to tell you good luck and that she loved you.”
Normally, I would be terribly embarrassed by this, but I think I was just terribly exhausted. I turned once again to all the happy couples on the dance floor, who totally looked to be in love. Another thought made me jump.
“So then, how did you know I was here at the dance?”
“After I talked with your mom I saw that you had an urgent text message from Adam and I read it. After I read about Mason and Susan being in trouble and then you being MIA, I figured you would come back and help them since you are science with a conscience.” Swen smiled.
That was the best news all night. It almost could have ranked up there with him saying he loved me, but he didn’t. We talked (and I explained) for what seemed like hours, but I know it was only minutes because the dance was almost over. And then I fell asleep at the table.
After what was supposed to be the biggest night of my life, Swen took me and my boots home, and the scary thing is I have no recollection of it. He said I was pretty loopy (due to weeks and weeks—well, two weeks, anyway—of lack of sleep). Apparently, I had asked him if he hadn’t been covering the science competition would he have asked me to Homecoming. He had said no. When I had asked why, he had said that he didn’t know how to dance.
I do remember one thing though. He looked at me and I looked at him while we were sitting in the car and he did lean in this time just like the magazines said it would happen, and it was beyond chemical. It was muy mágico! I would have called Bridge to report the news, but as soon as I got to my room I fell asleep on my beanbag chair with Shortie.