Zach studied Courtney before he responded, and she realized he was searching for a clue from her as to whether this was good news or bad news, or she expected him to be shocked.
“It wasn’t planned, and the timing is awful,” she started.
“Is there ever a good time for your life to change to this degree?” He winked, and she realized she’d been holding her breath. She released the oxygen from her lungs.
“I guess not. But I just started this job—”
“These things happen, Courtney. It’s life, with all of its crazy twists and turns,” he stated with compassion, and she was so grateful for his understanding.
“Looks like there’s a lot I can do around here to support the team.” She referred to riding a desk for the rest of her pregnancy.
“We need every deputy we have right now. The task force can use a seasoned officer on it. You’ll be just as valuable in here as you would be out there.” He bit back a yawn.
“I can start by kicking you out of here so you can grab some shut-eye,” she urged.
“That’s probably a good idea.” The bags under his eyes were no joke.
“Where are we with Gus?” she asked.
“He’ll be transported in another couple of hours. He’s on suicide watch. They’re making arrangements for him at Cedars Bay,” an inpatient facility that had a special wing for housing suspects and the criminally insane. Zach rubbed the scruff on his chin.
“I’m guessing he didn’t give us anything to work with on Breanna’s case.” It was worth mentioning, but she got her expected answer in the form of a head shake. “What does your gut tell you about Gus?”
“He has an enormous amount of guilt over something that he did, which says he’s done something that he’s not proud of. What is it? I have no idea. Do I think he’s our guy? I can’t be certain one way or the other. He’s an emotional mess, but that could be because of his actions, in which case he’s not likely to repeat the crime. He could have slowly unraveled since then.” Zach bit back a yawn. “Pardon me.”
“Thanks for the update. I shouldn’t keep you awake,” she said. “I’m sorry about my problem.”
He locked gazes with her, and his expression morphed to concern. “You’re going to be okay with all this, right?”
She knew he was talking about the pregnancy. “I will be in time. I mean, I can get there, but I’m not there yet. You know what I mean?”
“I think I do.” Zach was a good friend and a great boss.
“Mind if we keep the reason I’m on desk duty between us until I get the all clear from my doctor in a few weeks?” She hoped that wouldn’t be an issue.
“You say what you want when you’re ready. No one will hear a word from me,” he promised, and she believed him. Zach’s word was as good it came.
“Thanks, Zach. You can’t know how much I appreciate that.” His expression said he could come close.
“People do have a way of figuring these things out no matter how quiet we’re being.” He was right about that. People would talk. It was normal for folks to care what happened in each other’s lives in Jacobstown.
“I won’t be able to hide it forever,” she said with a small smile. “Right now, I’m ready to focus on my job.”
“Let me get you set up with a volunteer.” He stood and ushered her through the door and to the hallway. “I have an office set up next door to mine occupied by someone I trust with my life. It’s Jordan, so if you’d rather now work with him this would be a good time to mention it.”
“I promise I have enough on my mind right now not to worry about working with him.” She stopped next to the closed door, stepping aside to let Zach take the lead. He tapped on it a couple of times before opening it.
“Jordan, you’ll be working closely with Courtney,” Zach said.
Courtney’s body stiffened, but she forced her shoulders to relax and her heart rate to calm down from its frantic rhythm. As it was, her heart pounded her chest like an out-of-control hammer.
Jordan glanced up from the notebook he’d been studying in time to acknowledge her with a nod. He stood up out of respect. “Come on in. We can use all the help we can get.”
Normally, Zach would pick up on the undertone in his cousin’s voice, but he didn’t seem to this time. It was probably due to lack of sleep. Nothing usually got past the man.
“I’ll be in my office with the lights out for about the next hour if anyone needs me.” Zach paused a beat as his gaze shifted from Courtney to Jordan. “You two will be okay, right?”
“Of course.” Courtney shooed him away. “No one’s waking you up if I have anything to say about it. We can handle things around here while you catch a nap.”
Zach saluted before returning to his office next door, as promised.
“I’m going to get a cup of coffee,” Jordan said before shutting his notebook on the table in front of him. “You want anything from the break room?”
“No, thanks.”
Courtney wished she would’ve asked him to brief her on what he was working on before he disappeared down the hall. She also didn’t want to think about how badly she wanted a cup of coffee right then and how sick it would make her if she gave in to the craving. She wished she could have decaf, but the smell wafting down the hall from the break room was making her sick. The only time she didn’t get sick around coffee was when she’d kissed Jordan. His breath had the taste of it mixed with peppermint. The kiss stirred a few other senses that she didn’t need to think about.
She walked over to the round table. The space had been set up like a war room. A map of the Kent ranch and surrounding ranches was pinned on a corkboard. There were blue stick pins dotting the landscape, most of them along Rushing Creek. This must be what Jordan was working on. He seemed to be tagging all the places animals had been found. There were yellow stick pins, too. She figured the different colors represented the kind of animal found there. And then there was a lone white stick pin at the location where Breanna had been found. Courtney’s heart squeezed thinking about the tragedy.
Jordan strolled into the room, looking a little too good in his jeans and button-down shirt. She realized he had on the same shirt as last night, too. Had he been here all night?
She glanced behind him to make sure no one followed him. “I’m on desk duty, and I told him about us. I know he’s your family, but it slipped out. I’m sorry I didn’t give you the chance to tell him yourself.”
“It’s not a problem, Courtney. I thought my name might come up.” His low rumble of a voice was even sexier without sleep. She remembered how good it had been at seducing her. She could listen to that man talk all day and never get tired of hearing his voice. This wasn’t the time to let herself get carried away by Jordan Kent or how good he sounded. “How’d he take the news?”
“He was good about it,” she said. “We’re keeping it under wraps around here until I get the green light from my doctor. I’m sure word will spread once you start sharing the news.”
“No one I plan to tell will breathe a word of this until I give the okay,” he quickly countered. There was an edge to his voice now, and she’d be damned if he didn’t sound even sexier.
“I’m on desk duty, and I’ve been paired up with you. Fill me in on what all this is about.” She folded her arms and hugged her elbows to her chest.
“It’s probably obvious what’s going on here.” He pointed to the map.
She nodded. “I meant to ask Zach if we got anything back from forensics on the contents of the freezer bag.”
“The DNA matched Breanna’s.” He stood in respectful silence for a long moment.
It was probably just the news turning Courtney’s stomach, but she ran to the nearest garbage can and emptied what little was in there. It was strange that crime felt so much more personal in Jacobstown. In a big department like Dallas, violent crimes rarely ever hit so close to home. Maybe that was the reason the massacre a year ago hurt so badly. It had felt so personal.
More heaves racked her.
Jordan was beside her before she could tell him to stay away. His hand was on her back, making small circles, reassuring her that she’d be okay.
When she finally stopped heaving, she thanked him and then excused herself to the bathroom. In her purse, she’d tucked a toothbrush and toothpaste. She pulled them out and brushed her teeth.
And then she took a long, hard look at herself. Her identity had been tied to being in law enforcement. What if she couldn’t hack the job anymore? What was she in a different job? She’d allowed her work to consume her for the past decade. She’d even dated another cop, one who would always keep an emotional distance.
The revelation almost knocked her back a step. Decks had never comforted her when she was upset. In fact, when she’d gotten emotional during their relationship, she’d go into the bathroom to cry. Had she ever let him see the real her? The short answer to that question was a fast no. Dating someone in law enforcement gave a sense of comradery but not intimacy. The connection they felt was stronger than buddies but short of love.
Courtney knew on instinct her relationship with Jordan had been different. It had scared the hell out of her. And she’d done the thing she did best—pushed him out of her life.
She pulled out her cell phone and stared at the picture she’d taken of the counselor’s business card. Her finger hovered over the name. Why was taking that first step so hard? She’d called dozens of new numbers every month. Why did looking at this one and thinking about pulling the trigger make it suddenly hard to breathe?
After tucking her phone in her purse, she splashed cold water on her face. The call could wait.
TEN HOURS OF staring at a map, talking theories and overseeing volunteers had Courtney needing fresh air. Her nausea had subsided hours ago, and she’d been able to get a decent meal down for lunch. It had held her until the last hour, when her stomach decided to remind her she hadn’t eaten in a while. The little nugget was demanding.
She stood up and then rolled her neck around to ease the tension in her muscles.
“I’ll be back in a little while,” she said to Jordan.
“Are you going out to grab something to eat?” He didn’t look up.
“Yes.”
“You want company?” he asked.
“No, thanks. I have plans.” She didn’t see the need to tell him that she was dining with her neighbor. Most everything about her life was about to become public knowledge—or so it felt—so she’d hold on to what little privacy she had left.
“With who?” Jordan glanced up. A mix of emotion she couldn’t quite pinpoint darkened his gaze. Jealousy? She was most likely seeing what she wanted to. It was probably normal for her to want the father of her child to be a little bit jealous even though she was eating with an almost seventy-five-year-old widow. He didn’t know that, and she hadn’t expected any reaction from him at all.
“Just a friend,” she said quietly. Defensively?
She wasn’t trying to hurt his feelings.
He mumbled something about just trying to make sure she didn’t have to eat alone and refocused on the map he’d been studying.
Courtney didn’t want to be late to supper with Mrs. Farmer. She’d instantly liked her neighbor, and after last night Courtney felt a special bond with Sassy, too. A special connection was forged when put in a life-or-death situation. It was the same reason cops were so close to each other. They did life or death together every workday.
It had long since gotten dark by the time Courtney made it to her car. The winds had picked up, but the forecast called for low fifties tonight, warmer than it had been in days. That was the thing about Texas weather—even when it got freezing cold, it didn’t stay that way for long.
She braced against the frigid winds, which whipped her hair around. She climbed into the driver’s seat and started the engine, flipped on her headlights, and navigated out of the parking lot.
The road leading to her house was quiet. There was hardly ever any traffic, and tonight was no exception. She wound along the country road, keeping her eyes focused and alert out the front windshield. An irrational part of her brain searched for the coyote. She half expected the wild animal to run from out of the brush and explode onto her car.
The field she’d found Sassy in last night ran along one side of the road for miles. The area led to the back of the Kent property. Memories crashed down around her, and her eyes suddenly got very leaky.
Courtney didn’t normally do emotional. She could blame it on last year’s massacre or her current hormone levels, but suddenly she’d figured out how to cry faster than she could snap her fingers. She’d become a leaky faucet.
At the bend in the twisty road, she caught sight of a pickup parked off the road. Car trouble in this weather was no treat. Her headlights skimmed left, right and back again, moving back and forth as she wound around the road.
A moment of panic struck when she realized the pickup looked familiar. Blue Trunks? With that thought, she slowed her car and dimmed her headlights. There were no streetlamps on this stretch, so she had to leave her fog lights on or risk running off the road.
The driver of the pickup may have already seen her. She slowed to a near crawl as she approached the abandoned-looking pickup. There was no sign of anyone around, and an eerie feeling crept over her. This vehicle certainly hadn’t been there this morning when Courtney drove this route to work.
She passed by a couple of times, not wanting to raise the alarm for a pickup that she wasn’t exactly certain belonged to a guy she’d seen favoring his left foot at The Mart yesterday. Besides, it didn’t look like anyone was inside.
Courtney made a U-turn and cruised by the pickup, repeating the path a couple of times to make certain there would be no surprises. She rolled her window down as she pulled beside the vehicle.
She shone her flashlight into the cab and saw a cell phone on the bench seat. If someone was stranded, wouldn’t they take their cell with them? This area got service. Sure, it could be patchy, but they had it in several places.
Courtney picked up her radio to call in a suspicious vehicle when she heard an ear-piercing shriek coming from the wooded area beyond the field. Her pulse kicked up a few notches as she relayed her location to dispatch.
She hopped out of her SUV and palmed her weapon as she raced toward the sound. Someone was in trouble, and a force inside her took over despite her logical mind telling her to play it slow. If she could save a life, she had no choice but to try, so she bolted toward the tree line.
All thoughts of the coyote came rushing back, but she had no time to hesitate. If an animal had attacked someone who’d cut through the field, Courtney had to try to respond. She faintly heard that backup was on its way, and the closest deputy was twenty minutes to the east of her location.
Whoever made that scream might not have twenty minutes to live. Courtney was on autopilot as she pushed her legs to move faster, her flashlight in her left hand and her Glock in her right. She’d shoot any jerk who tried to charge toward her.
The flashlight did a great job of lighting the path in front of her, but she instantly realized that she was vulnerable to a side or rear attack once she reached the thicket, so she intentionally slowed her pace.
Another scream, muffled this time, sent a second shot of adrenaline coursing through her. She was on the right track, because the noise was closer.
Branches slapped Courtney’s face, and she had to stomp through the underbrush, but she kept pushing forward. She was making headway and would come upon the scene in seconds instead of minutes at this pace.
And then a blood-curdling scream stopped Courtney in her tracks.