Zander gripped the steering wheel, tapping the smooth leather, as he navigated the Lexus toward the Greenlake district of Seattle. Since he’d given up on rock climbing after his accident, why he thought to take Effie to his old climbing gym was beyond his comprehension. Climbing, kayaking, adventuring, friendships…he’d spent the last year pushing his old life out and clawing against the demons that came with Trisha. So what am I doing here? Am I trying to torment myself? Introduce her to something I used to love? Or, does she, with her willingness to try new things, simply inspire me to get out of my rut?
The sidewalks were full of people walking, chatting, and laughing, enjoying the rare hot day.
Effie didn’t seem thrilled with the idea of rock climbing. He wondered if it wasn’t his best idea. His uncertainty smothered his excitement about their date. “So, you’ll at least try, yeah?”
“I’ll try. But why did you think I’d like rock climbing? I can barely climb stairs without tripping.” Her fingers tangled into a knotted ball in her lap.
He tapped his temple. “Because you’re smart. Rock climbing is a thinking person’s game. You need to analyze the wall. Do quick mathematical calculations in your mind to determine angles, positioning, and placement of hands and feet.”
“Well, when you put it that way, it might not be so bad,” she admitted. “But, please don’t laugh when I fall. Keep your expectations low.” She released her hands and rubbed her palms together in what looked like a serious fret. Her eyes darted out the window as if plotting her escape.
“If you fall, I’ll catch you, promise. If we get you on the wall, you’ll be attached with ropes and ‘biners and so on. I’ll explain everything.”
Yeah, this might not have been such a great idea. “We can do something else, if you like.”
He puffed his cheeks with air and slowly blew it out.
“No,” she said, her voice sounding small and shaky. “Let’s do this.”
“Okay. Good.” He glanced at her, his uncertainty about dating making an unwelcome appearance. He hated feeling so uncertain.
He pulled the car into the lot of “Rock Nirvana, Seattle’s Premiere Climbing Gym.”
“We’re here,” he said.
“Oh, yay,” Effie said, a glum frown on her face.
“Don’t judge. You might like it,” he said, exiting the Lexus. While he strode around to the opposite side, he rolled his shoulders and massaged the back of his neck, trying to ease his tension.
He pulled open her door.
“And I might not,” she continued. She took his proffered hand and slid from the vehicle. “Don’t we need gear? Are you going to rent it?”
“No, Ms. D’Archangel, it’s in the trunk.” He stepped toward the back of the car and retrieved a duffel filled with climbing paraphernalia.
“Let me guess. You had some purchased on my behalf,” Effie said.
He smirked. “Something like that.”
“It might be a waste of money. I hope you can get a refund.”
“Don’t worry. I had it sent over from the EXcape warehouse. Consider it a demo set of gear. Unless you take to the sport. Then, consider it yours.”
She huffed out a sigh. “We’ll call it a loaner.”
As they strode up the sidewalk toward the building, her shoulders tensed.
He opened the door for her, trying not to frown at the sinking feeling in his chest. I don’t want this to be a failure for her. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.
At the counter, Zander spied Logan, a tall, slender man with short dreadlocks who had worked here for over a decade, signing in a customer.
Shit.
Zander prepared himself for the pity that usually came with seeing someone for the first time since his injury.
Logan finished up with his customer and turned toward Zander. His face split in a huge grin.
“Zander! Long time no see, brother. How you doing?” He walked around the counter and extended his hand to give dap.
Zander hesitated.
Logan’s gaze drifted to Zander’s bio-hand, then back up to Zander’s eyes. He kept his hand out, his friendly smile in place. Only a smidge of sympathy showed.
Out of the corner of his eye, Zander noticed Effie watching him. He inhaled sharply, blew it out, and gave Logan their customary hand slap, slap, tap, tap, fist on top, fist underneath greeting.
Then, Logan pulled him in for a man hug. As he released him, he said, “It’s great to see you, man. Really great. The club isn’t the same without you.”
A sense of longing, tugging him like a 9.4mm climbing rope, tore at his heart. “Thanks, Logan.”
Logan turned toward Effie. “Did you drag him in here to climb?”
“I think it’s the other way around,” Effie said, grimacing. “I’m the one being dragged.”
“Zander’s a persuasive guy.” Logan chuckled, then directed his attention to Zander. “So, you’re not back in the game yet? Still on the mend?”
“Nah. I’m not back in it. I think those days are over,” Zander said, feeling like a puppy chained to a tree, watching the other dogs chase sticks and balls.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Logan said, his hands landing on his hips. “You’re a legend.”
Zander swallowed. Was a legend. Was. Now I’m a miserable cripple who pays for companionship.
Logan glanced behind Zander. “I need to get back to my job. There’s a line behind you. Can I get you two situated?”
Zander pulled out his wallet and retrieved his membership card.
Logan waved his hand. “I don’t need to see that. Your status is always good here. Go on in.”
As Zander guided Effie into the climbing area, Logan called, “You’re in good hands. Zander’s one of the best. He’s known as the God of the Wall.”
Zander’s mouth worked around and around. Was one of the best. Was the God of the Wall. Was. His heart grew numb as he led Effie toward the gear area at the far end of the gym and dropped the duffel on the mat. What a stupid idea to bring her to the world of my past.
The huge room smelled of chalk and sweat. It hummed with the aspirations of many climbers, all trying to meet new goals or match existing ones.
Colorful hand and foot holds covered every square inch of the walls. Climbers, with ropes affixed to harnesses, and chalk bags hanging from their belts, made their way up vertical walls, traversed sideways, and struggled over artificial overhangs, the way he used to do. Used to, used to, used to. He shook his head, thankful he didn’t recognize anyone else he knew.
“Looks like this place has some meaning to you,” Effie said, softly.
“What?” He snapped from his reverie, blinking at her. “Not anymore. I buried this part of my life and sealed it with concrete.” The words shot from his mouth like bullets. He forced a smile.
“It looks like you’d like it to be part of your future,” she said.
He gave her a warning glare.
She sucked in her breath. “I’m…”
He didn’t let her finish the inevitable “sorry” part of that sentence. Instead, he shook his head and glowered at her.
“Let’s see how you do here,” he said, swiftly re-directing.
Effie sighed and seemed to shrink.
Good one, asshole. Zander busied himself with retrieving the gear she would need from the workout bag.
“Put this on first,” he commanded, holding up the EXcape branded harness for her. “It’s your safety device. It attaches to your rope.”
She gazed at him through narrowed eyes, piercing his pissy mood, before she grabbed the harness and examined it. “You mean my strangulation device. Do I put my head through this part?” She fit her head through the leg strap. “And then you cinch it up tight, and I die so I don’t have to do this?”
“Not quite,” he said, removing it from her head. “These go over your legs, and this part slides over your hips.” He spread apart the belt between his fingers. “Here.” He crouched, holding it wide.
She placed a hand on his shoulders, stepping through the hip belt, and pushed her feet into one leg hole, and then the other.
He helped her slide it over her hips, inhaling at the feel of her sexy butt.
“Did you have to special order a jumbo size for my fat ass?” she said.
Zander pressed his lips together. If he could wave a magic wand, he’d make sure she never felt bad about herself again.
“Your ass isn’t fat. I happen to think your butt is very sexy.” He tightened her belt.
“What about my thunder thighs? That’s what Todd and Roy called them once.”
“I thought you said insults didn’t affect you?” He cinched her legs straps.
“Some of them get through,” she said, giving him a challenging glare.
His gaze softened as he met hers. “Effie. Your thighs are made for power. Todd, Roy, and any other guy can go fuck themselves for saying anything negative about you. They’re more of cotton candy kind of guys. They prefer the shallow. I prefer a real meal.”
“I never thought of myself as someone’s real meal. I usually think of myself as discarded remnants when it comes to men.”
“Effie.” He placed his hands on her shoulders. “Stop.” His heart hurt hearing her self-deprecation. “You’re beautiful.”
Effie ducked her head. “That’s a nice thing to say, Zander. Really nice. Thank you.”
“It’s the truth.” He turned and fished around in his duffel, aware of Effie’s attentive gaze following his every move. “Here’s your chalk bag.” He attached it to the back of her belt.
“What do I need chalk for?”
“A little bit of moisture on your hands can be the difference between success and failure. Your hands need to be dry. Chalk increases your friction on a grip. Sweaty hands can slide from a hold. Not a good thing when you’re one hundred feet in the air.”
“No, I guess not.” She swallowed. “How about these loops?” She tugged at one of the sturdy loops on her belt. “I don’t think they’re going to help me. I know I’m going to fail.”
“Stop putting yourself down, girl,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re not going to fail. We’re going to take it easy. Simple little climbs. Baby steps, baby.” He found himself invested in getting her to feel better, as he rummaged around in his bag for her climbing shoes. “I guessed at your shoe size. Even so, they’re not going to be comfortable. They’re supposed to be super snug. You want a sturdy, snug shoe to grip the wall with.” He hefted the tiny shoes. “Think of these as your hooves. Become the mountain goat.” A slight smile curved his lips.
She let out a big breath. “Okay. I’m sorry. This is all foreign to me. I’m extremely nervous.”
“Yeah, and I’m not helping with my piss-poor attitude. Let’s start over, okay?”
“I’d like that.” The most captivating smile flashed across her face.
It shattered the walls he’d erected. He swallowed and reached out to caress her cheek. “You’ll be fine. I’m not going to let you fail.”
“Thank you, Zander,” she said in a soft voice. Briefly, she closed her eyes. Then, she opened them, smiled again, and lowered herself to the floor. She tugged and pulled the shoes over her feet. “So, my feet are supposed to feel like sausages crammed in a tin?”
“Afraid so.” He extended his hand to help her up.
“Then, these fit perfectly.” She accepted the assist and winced. “Ouch. You’re right, they’re not the least bit comfortable.”
“You’ll appreciate them when you’re climbing,” he said, leading her to the beginner’s wall.
She hobbled after him.
“Let’s start here. You’ll use the holds there for your hands and these for your feet,” he said, pointing up and down the wall.
“Uh…,” she said, staring dubiously at where he pointed. “You demonstrate.”
He shook his head, his inner walls starting to erect. Chicken. “See her?” he said, pointing to a young woman a few yards away.
The young woman fumbled with holds as she climbed.
“She looks like she’s starting out, too.”
“I’ll try.” Effie reached for a handhold. She got one foot on a lower grip. When she tried to place her other foot on the wall, she slipped, banging her knee. “Ouch,” she said, rubbing the front of her leg.
“You almost had it,” Zander said, encouragingly.
“Liar,” she said, but she reached for a handhold again. She got foot one in place, gripped the other hand hold, and managed to balance both feet and hands on the wall. “I got it!”
“Great! Now, move to the right. I’ll steady you.” He placed his hands on either side of her hips. His dick instantly stirred in approval.
She took one step, traversing along the wall, and then another. On the third step, she slipped again.
Zander caught her, easing her fall.
“Crap. I almost had it,” Effie said.
“You did. You really did,” Zander said, still clutching her hips. He stroked her backside with a few short sweeps of his thumbs. “Keep going. You’ve got this.”
Zander watched, hands off, as she continued to practice. His heart skipped a beat when she, unprovoked, began an upward climb. She made it about eight feet, then looked down at him.
“This isn’t so bad,” she announced. “You’re right, I have to think about every move. This is a body-mind cocktail.”
A beautiful grin appeared on her face. She traversed to the right, then stopped. The grin disappeared. “Shit.” She glanced over her shoulder in a wild-eyed kind of way.
“What?” he said.
“I don’t know where to go next. I’m afraid I’m going to fall.”
Zander spoke with calm confidence.
“Okay, here’s where your body-mind connection has to kick into place. Deep breaths. Relax. Whenever you’re in a difficult spot, as long as you have a breath left, you can make it. Stay present. Sense your next move. Trust yourself.” He took a couple of deep inhales and exhales to encourage her.
“Okay,” she said, sighing. “Deep breaths. Trust myself. Sense the next move.” After pausing, she downclimbed, moving gracefully to the next handhold…then the next, and the next, until she stood on the mat by his side.
“You’re a natural. Want to try going up with ropes?” Zander smiled, so pleased by her prowess he let go his snarled disposition.
“Um…” Her gaze drifted upward. “Maybe we should quit while I’m ahead. You know…baby steps, baby. I got up a short way, at least.” She glowed. “This was so cool. It’s way better than I imagined it would be.”
“Okay, good point. We’ll try a higher climb wall next time. Ropes and all.”
“Deal.” She stuck out her hand. Her body practically vibrated with excitement.
He hesitated the way he always did before shaking anyone’s hand. But then he reached for it and shook.
“Deal,” he said, pulling her close.
She wrapped her arms around his back, squeezing hard.
“Thank you,” she said. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Zander. This was so fun.”
Satisfied to have scored a point or two, he let out a deep breath and settled into the embrace for a few seconds. The fragrant scent of Effie’s shampoo and sweat, coupled with the warmth of her body pressed against him, aroused the hell out of him.
“I’m proud of you, baby,” he said, releasing her. “Let’s get those shoes and harness off of you.” He waved his hand toward the back of the gym.
She skip-hopped beside him as they strode toward his duffel. “I’m so stoked. You have no idea.”
“Oh, I have an idea, looking at your face.” He beamed. The smile reached all the way down to his heart. Then, he grimaced. Mia’s right. Hard and fast and deep.
“No, seriously. I doubt you know what it’s like. You seem like one of those guy’s who’s confident in everything. A natural athlete.” She lowered herself to a seated position on the mat.
He raised an eyebrow and sat next to her. “Give me your foot.”
She extended a leg, leaning on her hands for support.
As he removed her shoes, she said, “My parents were too poor to afford any kind of sports program when I was growing up. When I was in middle school, I wanted to try softball. How hard could it be, I asked myself. My dad convinced me it was difficult. ‘You could get hit in the face with the ball,’ he said. ‘You could sprain your ankle.’ I think he was trying to spare me the heartbreak of him not being able to pay for any gear. Then, I asked about swimming. ‘No way. You could drown.’ He discouraged everything.
“And my mom was one of those helicopter moms. She was anxiety-ridden all the time, no doubt stressed about money every single day. And, as her only child, she kept me hidden from the real world, encouraging me to play indoors with my toys or read books. I wasn’t even allowed to play with the other kids, so I went to the library, instead. So, naturally, I was uncoordinated. I never had a chance to develop anything but my mind.” She tapped the side of her head.
Zander listened intently. His heart hurt at the thought of never being able to move, to play, to explore. He brought her foot to his lips and kissed the top of it. Then, he placed both feet in his lap and began massaging one with his live hand, while cradling the foot in his high-tech-hand.
“Mmm, that feels wonderful.”
“Good. That’s a sad story, Effie.”
“It’s my sad story, for sure. By the time I got to college, I was terrified of everything. This…” She waved her hand and glanced behind her, at the gym. “You…” Her eyes moistened with tears. “You’re giving me the most amazing gifts. I’ll never be able to thank you.” She scooted closer to him. “I know this is a business transaction for you, but for me, well…you’re giving me the world.”
A business transaction. Right. Zander didn’t want to rip open his chest and get all vulnerable, telling Effie it was more than a business transaction.
Instead, he placed her legs to the side and he said, “It’s my pleasure to break you out of your comfort zone.”
He pushed to his feet and held out his hand.
Effie put her sneakers on her feet. Then, she grasped his hand and tugged herself to standing. “Where to next?”
“I’m not sure.”
He knew where he’d like to go—somewhere private and secluded. But that would fall under the non-casual category he promised himself to adhere to. He picked up the gym bag and strode through the lobby, his free hand on the small of her back.
Logan was occupied with a customer.
Zander lifted his hand in farewell.
Logan called, “Hope to see you in here again, Zan.”
“Yeah, sure,” Zander said. For Effie.
“I need to use the restroom,” she said. “To wash my hands.”
She wiggled her fingers at him.
He veered down the hallway and stopped outside the restroom doors. “I’ll be right here.”
Figuring out how to keep this casual.
She slipped into the ladies’ room while he loitered by the entrance.
When she emerged, they headed toward the exit. He held open the front door for her, watching her backside as she sauntered across the threshold.
Her hips swished and swayed. She kept up enthusiastic chatter about how excited she was, how grateful she was, blah blah blah.
This Effie—this upbeat Effie was the one he was beginning to cherish. All he could think about was getting inside her lush body. He rolled his lower lip between his teeth and worried it with his tongue. Who am I kidding? This ain’t casual. I want her. So, how am I going to play this? “Would you like go to on another adventure with me?” His heart hung still and un-beating in his chest.
He knew he played with fire. His relationship with Trisha had been a train wreck cluster-fuck that brought him to his knees, not once, not twice, but many times. He’d nearly lost his life in the process. How could he be certain this thing with Effie, with all its contractual obligations would be any different? The contract made it very certain their relationship would end, with hard and fast lines. And, with all his feelings and vulnerabilities rising to the surface with Effie, how did he know he could survive the end?