“Sheena, its Ceri.” The tears muffle my voice and it takes her a few moments to recognise who is calling.
“Ceri, what’s going on?”
“I need to escape for a few days, are you at home?”
“No, I’m on the outskirts of Paris. I’m working on some legal documents at the moment,” she answers with concern in her voice. “You aren’t okay, are you?”
“My life is falling apart. I’ve walked out on my job and Alex has disappeared.”
“What the heck… look, if you can hang on for twenty-four hours a colleague of mine is leaving the UK tomorrow for an evening tunnel crossing. He’s taking over the case I’m working on while I’m on a week’s leave. I’ll contact him, I’m sure he won’t mind having someone along for the journey. Don’t switch your phone off and pack enough for at least a week.” The line disconnects and I throw myself on the bed, absolutely distraught at how quickly things can go from bad to worse.
Alex doesn’t answer his phone and I give myself a deadline. If I can’t contact him before my lift arrives tomorrow afternoon, then I will take that as a sign. I won’t lay bare my heart for a man who believes I’m throwing myself at him. At least I can make common-sense out of Mason’s outburst. He thought I’d do anything for a promotion and at least he has a reason to be bitter, even if it’s totally unreasonable. But Alex knows I’m not a bad person and I don’t throw myself at men. He’s the only one night stand I’ve ever had and I’ve only slept with two men before him. Both were relationships that, at the time, I felt might go somewhere. But I was rather naïve and assumed anyone who cared enough to sleep with me would understand the sensitive side of my nature. That wasn’t the case.
***
“I can’t believe he said that to you,” Sheena sounds angry on my behalf. “Who the hell does he think he is?”
I can’t help but defend him, even though I’m hurt. “There’s something not right Sheena. Alex is usually such a sensitive guy. Maybe he started to feel something for me and then felt guilty about this person he says he loves. It’s painful when you offer your heart to someone and they reject you. I know that for a fact.”
Sheena puts an arm around my shoulder and squeezes.
“Whatever, Ceri. You still don’t deserve to be treated that way. Mason is another story of course and you can’t get hung up on that. But Alex, well, I’m surprised and very sorry it should turn out this way.”
I take a few deep breaths, determined that I’m not going to start crying again.
“What can I do? I have to work today and tomorrow, but after that we can head off to one of the small towns on the north coast. There are some lovely beaches and we can do some walking, blow away those cobwebs.” Sheena pushes away the hair that’s fallen over my cheek. “I am so sorry my darling girl, you don’t deserve this and I won’t let him make you feel you are a victim. If he has a problem then he has to deal with it. You’ve been through enough already.”
I lean against the pillows on the bed, watching Sheena as she heads for the door. “I’ll be back before you know it. Ring down for room service, the menu is on the table. Try to rest. There are a couple of books in my suitcase if you want to read.”
As the door closes behind her I turn on my side and let the tears flow. I love you, Alex, and I know you are the one. Where are my angels? Why aren’t you here when I need you?
It’s the last thing in my head before I drift off into a deep and uneasy sleep.