“Hi, my little angel.” Alex wraps his arms around me and squeezes, then kisses the top of my head. He doesn’t let me go, but rocks gently back and forth on the balls of his feet. “Oh, this feels so good, coming home to my woman.”
I can’t help myself as I burst out laughing. He sounds like the hunter-gatherer, home from a hard day‘s work. He sniffs the air and I look at him quizzically.
“I love a woman who can cook for her man and yet the house smells as fresh as if she hasn’t lifted a wooden spoon or boiled a pan of water. Now that’s what I call skill.” He smirks.
“Could be because this woman has nothing planned for dinner and hasn’t even given it a thought.”
He feigns a sad face and, catching my hand, spins me around. “Then I’ll take you out to dinner, or would you prefer takeaway?”
His happiness is infectious, but the last thing I feel like is getting ready to go out. “Takeaway?”
He nods. “Glad you said that. It wouldn’t be so easy to talk in a public place. I don’t want to force you though, if you’d rather not tell me where you went and what you did when we were apart.”
He follows me into the sitting room, shedding his coat, tie, and shoes as we walk. In true Alex style he gathers them up in his arms and places them neatly on one end of the sofa. He proceeds to undo the cuffs of his shirt and roll his sleeves up to just below the elbow. He flashes those sexy wrists with absolutely no understanding of the way he’s making my stomach flip. He unfastens the top two buttons of his shirt and collapses in the chair opposite me.
“What a day,” he groans, shifting his body to sink back into the cushions.
“Okay, you go first. How was your day?” I ask. He reaches up to massage the back of his neck with his right hand, those sexy wrists calling out to me.
“Busy. It’s very different to Portingale and Hughes, that’s for sure. No sleazy Mason hanging around making everyone’s life unbearable. But they don’t have enough staff for the amount of work coming in. I’m not sure they can afford to take on anyone else, but I was thinking, should I ask on your behalf?”
“No, I’ll be fine. I’ve made some calls today and something will turn up.” I smile at him encouragingly. It’s about time I did lighten up, as Sheena put it, and show Alex there is a fun side to me too.
“I’m glad you mentioned that. How do you feel about us moving in together? We already know each other pretty well. It’s not as if we’ve just met. I like to think that the two years we’ve spent working so closely together would have shown up any disgusting habits either of us might have. I’m house-trained too.” He looks nervous, hesitant and stupidly boyish for a guy his age.
“I know. It’s one of the things I admired about you from the start.” I try not to laugh. What I’m really thinking is that it was one of the things that made me think he wasn’t into women. I’ve never known a man who pays so much attention to his personal grooming and is even tidier than I am.
“I’ve been mulling it over, and stop me if I’m running before I can walk here…” He jumps up and comes over to sit at my feet, placing one arm around my legs. It’s a curious gesture, intimate without being overtly sexual. Loving. “But it would take the pressure off you having to find something straight away. We could rent out one of the apartments to bring in an income. Ceri, I don’t want to push you into anything you don’t feel comfortable with, but I feel I’ve wasted two years of our relationship by holding back and I’m not prepared to do that anymore.”
I lean over him, sliding my fingers through the hair at the back of his head and down to rest my hand on his shoulder. The warmth of his skin through his shirt tells me his body chemistry is working overtime. The feel of him is strong and slightly tense.
“That’s a great idea. I want this as much as you do, Alex, and I’m sorry I ran away. I guess you weren’t the only one who was scared. I met up with Sheena today and she told me a few home truths. It made a lot of sense. I have to let go of the past and keep my sights firmly on the future.”
He turns to kneel next to me, his lips brushing mine with a gentleness that’s touching. He’s a man who understands there are times for passion and times for loving reassurance. We’re going to take this one step at a time.
***
We talked for hours, stopping only to take delivery of the Chinese takeaway, fill our plates, and to open a bottle of California’s finest White Grenache. The alcohol wasn’t necessary and we drank slowly, neither of us wanting to dull our senses. I recount the story of what happened after our argument. I told Alex about dashing off to France and meeting up with Sheena, about spending time on the coast and the long walks, during which I made myself face up to a lot of things that weren’t easy to think about. I told him that while he sought advice from Ethan Morris, I turned to Mark Kessler. Alex hadn’t heard about him, even though he’s a celebrated local and an acclaimed psychic medium. He’s also a motivational speaker. He travels all over the UK and his events are always sold out. I explained that I’d followed his website blog for a while and read some of his books. I went to one of his talks and afterwards I hung around to buy one of his motivational CDs. We began chatting and I signed up for a meditation tutorial. Mark and I connected immediately and I worried that Alex might misinterpret that, but he seemed fine with it. When I explained that Mark had offered to mentor me, the only thing he said was, “If you trust him, I trust your judgement”.
I had to admit there were a lot of similarities in Ethan and Mark’s beliefs, but on the one occasion Alex had taken me to meet Ethan I felt a strange sense of being frowned upon. As if he was judging me and found me lacking in some way. Mark might not have quite so much experience, but he’s the sort of person you can discuss something with and he will listen. He takes time to consider the point you are making and is happy to discuss anything at all. I think that was what was wrong. Ethan obviously felt he knew exactly what was what and Mark saw everything as not necessarily being written in stone.
That was then, of course, and this is now. Meeting up with Mark for my next session will tell me a lot more, now that I can see things more clearly. I am worried that it will change the way I view him, but there are so few options open to me. At the time I was hoping Mark would help me hone my skills. Now, I need him to introduce me to the psychic community so I can begin my new task. I have to do that in a way that will not make it obvious something has changed. For now it’s enough that Alex simply accepts, without question, things he doesn’t fully understand. It’s another reason why I love him so much. People are so judgmental at times and it’s a trait that can seriously undermine a person’s confidence. No wonder so many people are now opening their eyes and thinking less about the material things in life and more about the spiritual aspect. There’s a global sense of change. You can almost hear the cry gathering momentum…
There has to be more to life than this.