SELF

WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE WE IN GENERAL? What is the self? What are emotions, and how should we handle them? What should we believe in, if anything? Oh yes, I know these questions sound unbearably pretentious. Yet reading some of the attempts to answer them—made by people around the world and throughout time—is enjoyable and provides plenty of perspectives and possibilities to perhaps phase into our lives.

The mind is everything. What you think, you become.

—Gautama Buddha

At the center of your being
you have the answer;
you know who you are
and you know what you want.

—Lao Tzu

The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still voice within.

—Mohandas Gandhi

Imagine awaking from a torpor having forgotten how your friends and family see you. Perhaps, unchained from everyone's expectations for how you ought to behave, you could be whoever you liked.

—Christian Jarrett

We are all our own graveyards I believe; we squat amongst the tombs of the people we were. If we're healthy, every day is a celebration, a Day of the Dead, in which we give thanks for the lives that we lived; and if we are neurotic we brood and mourn and wish that the past was still present.

—Clive Barker

Do I contradict myself?

Very well then, I contradict myself.

I am large.

I contain multitudes!

—Walt Whitman

Living things tend to change unrecognizably as they grow. Who would deduce the dragonfly from the larva, the iris from the bud, the lawyer from the infant? Flora or fauna, we are all shape-shifters and magical reinventors. Life is really a plural noun, a caravan of selves.

—Diane Ackerman

A biography is considered complete if it merely accounts for six or seven selves, whereas a person may well have as many as a thousand.

—Virginia Woolf

People can't live with change if there's not a changeless core inside them. The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are, what you are about and what you value.

—Stephen R. Covey

Between stimulus and response there is a
space.
In that space is our power to choose our
response.
In our response lies our growth and our
freedom.

—Viktor Frankl

It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.

—Epictetus

“What I believe” is a process rather than a finality. Finalities are for gods and government, not for the human intellect.

—Emma Goldman

Our firmest convictions are apt to be the most suspect; they mark our limitations and our bounds.

—José Ortega y Gasset

I am not a thing—a noun. I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary
process—an integral function
of the universe.

—R. Buckminster Fuller

No feeling is final.

—Rainer Maria Rilke

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.

—Benjamin Disraeli

I am never upset for the reason I think.

—Helen Schueman

There is no sight so ugly as the human face in anger.

—Louise Fitzhugh

No person is important enough to make me angry.

—Carlos Castaneda

Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to. . . . Just as physical pain tells us to take our hand off the hot stove, the pain of our anger preserves the very integrity of our self.

—Harriet Lerner

Anger must be the energy that has not yet found its right channel.

—Florida Scott-Maxwell

People in a temper often say a
lot of silly, terrible things
they mean.

—Penelope Gilliatt

A man is about as big as the things that make him angry.

—Winston Churchill

Anybody can become angry—that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.

—Aristotle

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

—Mark Twain

Anxiety is fear of one's self.

—Wilhelm Stekel

Worry a little bit every day, and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.

—Mary Hemingway

I've experienced many terrible things in my life, a few of which actually happened.

—unknown

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead
from a bough without ever having
felt sorry for itself.

—D. H. Lawrence

Do you take pride in your hurt? Does it make you seem large and tragic? . . . Well, think about it. Maybe you're playing a part on a great stage with only yourself as audience.

—John Steinbeck

Image

Reject your sense of injury, and the injury itself disappears.

—Marcus Aurelius

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.

—Albert Ellis

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

—Will Durant, paraphrasing Aristotle

You are that which you are seeking.

—Saint Francis of Assisi

If you're honest, you sooner or later have to confront your values. Then you're forced to separate what is right from what is merely legal. This puts you metaphysically on the run. America is full of metaphysical outlaws.

—Tom Robbins

Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.

—Zen proverb

Would you like you
if you met you?

—Tegan and Sara

When I look for my existence, I do not look for it in myself.

—Antonio Porchia

People focus on role models; it is more effective to find anti-models—people you don't want to resemble when you grow up.

—Nassim N. Taleb

Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others.

—Fyodor Dostoevsky

The “I” in me, my friend, dwells in the house of silence, and therein it shall remain for ever more, unperceived, unapproachable. I would not have thee believe in what I say nor trust in what I do—for my words are naught but thy own thoughts in sound and my deeds thy own hopes in action.

—Kahlil Gibran

To be a man is to be responsible: to be ashamed of miseries you did not cause; to be proud of your comrades' victories; to be aware, when setting one stone, that you are building a world.

—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Maturity: the confidence to have no opinions on many things.

—Alain de Botton

Maturity is reached the day we don't need to be lied to about anything.

—Frank Yerby

People seem not to see that their
opinion of the world is also
a confession of character.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

—Robert Heinlein

Interviewer: So to you, faith is not a comfort?

Madeleine L'Engle: Good heavens, no. It's a challenge: I dare you to believe in God. I dare you to think [our existence] wasn't an accident.

Practically speaking, your religion is the story you tell about your life.

—Andrew Greeley

The trouble is I don't believe my unbelief.

—Graham Greene

Faith is not a belief.

Faith is what is left when your beliefs have
all been blown to hell.

—Ram Dass

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.

—George Bernard Shaw

Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.

—Roald Dahl

My faith is whatever makes me feel good about being alive. If your religion doesn't make you feel good to be alive, what the hell is the point of it?

—Tom Robbins

I don't believe anything, but I have many suspicions.

—Robert Anton Wilson

I daresay anything can be made holy by being sincerely worshipped.

—Iris Murdoch

The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.

—A. A. Milne

A wise man once said, Convention is like the shell to the chick, a protection till he is strong enough to break it through.

—Learned Hand

Don't laugh at a youth for his affectations; he is only trying on one face after another to find his own.

—Logan Pearsall Smith

If there is anything the nonconformist
hates worse than a conformist, it's
another nonconformist who doesn't
conform to the prevailing standard
of nonconformity.

—Bill Vaughan

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

—George Bernard Shaw

Even the best of us are at least part-time bastards.

—Mary Karr

What a strange machine man is! You fill him with bread, wine, fish, and radishes, and out comes sighs, laughter, and dreams.

—Nikos Kazantzakis

I am human;
nothing human is alien to me.

—Terence

I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.

—Sylvia Plath

We ought to dance with rapture that we should be alive and in the flesh, and part of the living, incarnate cosmos. I am part of the sun as my eye is part of me. That I am part of the earth my feet know perfectly, and my blood is part of the sea. My soul knows that I am part of the human race, my soul is an organic part of the great human soul, as my spirit is part of my nation. In my own very self, I am part of my family. There is nothing of me that is alone and absolute except my mind, and we shall find that the mind has no existence by itself, it is only the glitter of the sun on the surface of the waters.

—D. H. Lawrence

Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem which he has to solve.

—Erich Fromm

The amazing thing is that every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics.

—Lawrence M. Krauss

Every atom you possess has almost certainly passed through several stars and been part of millions of organisms on its way to becoming you. We are each so atomically numerous and so vigorously recycled at death that a significant number of our atoms—up to a billion for each of us, it has been suggested—probably once belonged to Shakespeare. A billion more each came from Buddha and Genghis Khan and Beethoven, and any other historical figure you care to name.

—Bill Bryson

We are dead stars looking back up at the sky.

—Michelle Thaller

There are more molecules of water in a cup of water than cups of water in all the world's oceans. This means that some molecules in every cup of water you drink passed through the kidneys of Genghis Khan, Napoleon, Abe Lincoln or any other historical person of your choosing. Same goes for air: There are more molecules of air in a single breath of air than there are breaths of air in Earth's entire atmosphere. Therefore, some molecules of air you inhale passed through the lungs of Billy the Kid, Joan of Arc, Beethoven, Socrates or any other historical person of your choosing.

—Neil deGrasse Tyson

I believe in the flesh and the appetites,
Seeing, hearing, feeling, are miracles, and each part and tag of me is a miracle.

Divine am I inside and out, and I make holy whatever I touch or am touch'd from,
The scent of these arm-pits aroma finer than prayer,
This head more than churches, bibles, and all the creeds.

—Walt Whitman

Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am.

—Thomas Merton

You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

—A. A. Milne