Chapter 9

At five the next day Posy meant to close the shop, but at quarter to five an entire coachload of ladies descended on them. They were in town from Shepton Mallet to see Les Misérables and had arrived in London early solely for the purpose of visiting Bookends.

‘Read about your shop on a blog forum. Said you had one of the best romance sections in the South East, and I don’t like buying things on the internet. Next thing you know someone in Kazakhstan has your credit card details and is using them to buy rocket launchers,’ one of the ladies told Posy and she was sure she felt her heart swell with pride or that might have been because they kept sending her up the ladder to get books down from the top shelves.

As Posy was ringing up their purchases and Nina was trying to corral them into an orderly queue, Sebastian swept into the shop, followed by a woman in a chic grey dress, a fitted bright orange blazer and a turquoise necklace, so with one glance you could tell that she was put together and smart but also her own woman. It could only be Pippa, who also had the most bouncy hair and the most perfect white smile of anyone Posy had ever seen, apart from the Duchess of Cambridge. She looked as if she should be wearing a white lab coat and extolling the virtues of the latest technological advances in shampoo and toothpaste, when she wasn’t project managing and kicking Sebastian’s arse.

‘If you write your details in our book, I’ll add you to our mailing list,’ Posy said automatically to the woman she was serving, who’d just bought seven romances set in Paris because her husband refused to take her there for their anniversary. She lowered her voice to a furtive whisper as she saw Sebastian point her out to Pippa, who beamed at Posy and waved. ‘We’re relaunching in a couple of months as a specialist romance bookshop, so we’ll have even more stock then.’

She watched as Sebastian ushered Pippa through to the first room on the left, his hand on her shoulder. ‘Sorry, Pips, the whole place is a dust-trap. Hope it’s not going to make your allergies flare up.’

It was the single nicest thing she’d heard Sebastian say to anyone since Lavinia had died, Posy thought as she greeted the next woman in line, who had six erotic novels hidden under a copy of Great Expectations.

‘Books are a breeding ground for germs,’ Posy heard Pippa say in a broad Yorkshire accent, which made her seem slightly less intimidating. Posy’s favourite lecturer at Queen Mary’s had been from Huddersfield so there was something about a Yorkshire accent that Posy always found instantly reassuring. ‘Like dishes of bar nuts that have about fifty different traces of urine on them.’

Then again, maybe not.

‘I don’t think it’s the books so much as the fact that Posy – the one behind the till with the shrewish expression and two pencils in her hair – is a complete slattern. You should see the flat upstairs. It’s like an episode of Extreme Hoarders.’

Oh, she was going to kill him. Horribly. But first Posy had to be formally introduced to Pippa, who beamed again, murmured words of greeting then shook hands with the rest of the staff, with a firm and uncompromising grip. Pippa then made a short but heartfelt speech.

‘I can’t tell you how excited I am to be moving forward on this project with you all. We’re going to be a great team. You need a team to make a dream come true.’

Posy didn’t dare look at Nina or Tom, and Verity’s head had disappeared into her neck so she looked like a very sad, very confused tortoise. She still hadn’t raised her head half an hour later as the coach party departed Les Mis-wards, and the door was locked behind them, the staff gathered on the sofas. Sebastian lounged against the rolling ladder in another ridiculous suit with moss green accoutrements, Pippa tapped things into a handheld device, while Posy did battle with her flip chart and she talked about murder most foul.

‘So yeah, that’s what I was thinking we could call the “crime” bookshop,’ she said. Try as she might, Posy couldn’t help but wrap imaginary quote marks around the word. ‘Murder Most Foul. Any other suggestions?’

‘I still like The Bloody Dagger,’ Sebastian piped up, but Posy wasn’t even going to acknowledge his presence. Not after he’d called her a slattern. Besides, it had taken her years to perfect the art of a messy bun anchored into place with two pencils.

‘Anybody else?’ Posy looked pleadingly at Tom, who refused to meet her eye. She had a sneaking suspicion that he’d prefer to work in a bookshop that specialised in crime. It was far more manly than working in a bookshop that specialised in happy ever afters. ‘Nina?’

Nina wouldn’t let her down, but she just pulled a face like she was in a thousand agonies and looked at Verity sitting across from her for guidance. Verity shrugged.

‘Um, well, er, Murder She Wrote?’ Nina suggested. ‘Though I suppose not every crime novel has a female author.’

Tom finally managed to raise his head and look Posy in the eye. ‘What about Reader, I Murdered Him?’ he drawled in a very challenging, unTom-like way.

Verity snorted and Nina sniggered; even Sam, who was there under duress and after much sighing and flouncing because he said it was wrong for Posy to lie when she was always telling him off for saying he’d done his homework when he hadn’t, smirked from behind his fringe.

‘Not funny, Tom,’ Posy said sternly as Sebastian shot Tom a look of mild distaste.

‘Is that some kind of bookseller in-joke?’ he asked, with a disdainful arch of his eyebrow. ‘I don’t get it.’

‘You wouldn’t,’ Pippa piped up. She’d been silent up until now. ‘It’s a play on a line from Jane Eyre. It’s a novel, Sebastian, written by a woman in the eighteen hundreds. There’s no way in hell you’ve read it so let’s move on with our lives, shall we?’

Posy thought that she might just have fallen in love with Pippa.

Pippa turned to Posy. ‘Carry on,’ she said. ‘I’m really enthused about this.’

‘Oh, shall we go with The Bloody Dagger for now.’ Posy wasn’t enthused. In fact, she was already bored with the entire farce. ‘I’m sure we can come up with something better in the next few days and then I can get on with briefing Nina’s tattoo artist to design the logo and we can order all the signage and stuff. Right?’

There was a murmur of agreement, though Pippa paused from whipping her fingers back and forth across her handheld device. ‘You’re having your logo, which you’re going to use for all your branding, designed by a tattoo artist?’ she asked, in the same way that Lady Bracknell might have enquired about a handbag. ‘Are you sure that’s a good idea?’

Nina was already shrugging out of her cardigan. ‘He’s an amazing tattoo artist,’ she said huffily as she showed first her Wuthering Heights arm, then her Alice in Wonderland sleeve to Pippa. ‘Also, he’s not charging us anything, so there’s that. Can we please get a move on because that important thing that we’re going to starts in an hour? So, anyway, I think it would be a fantastic idea if we had a book group that met in the shop once a month.’

Posy nodded. ‘That is a great idea.’ She meant to sound perky but it was more manic than anything. ‘Now here’s a thing, this is just off the top of my head, but maybe the book group pick could be the featured book on the shop website.’

‘Are you saying that we’re going to relaunch the website at the same time as we relaunch the shop?’ At last Nina was getting into the spirit of things. ‘About time. Of course, we couldn’t have the entire catalogue online, but maybe our top fifty bestsellers …?’

‘I’m loving this,’ Pippa interjected. ‘Let’s talk more about the website now.’

‘Sam, why don’t you tell us about your exciting plans for the website.’ To her own ears, Posy now sounded as if she were mere seconds away from a psychotic break.

‘What? You mean I have to go through it all again? Don’t worry about it, Posy. It’s all in hand.’ Sam sighed so hard that his fringe fluttered in the slipstream. ‘Sophie’s going to do the shop Twitter and Instagram accounts, maybe a Tumblr as well, and I don’t know why she’s not here. She’s part of the staff too,’ he added in an aggrieved voice.

‘She’s got a big history project due in tomorrow,’ Posy explained and Sam instantly broke eye contact with her. ‘Come to think of it, doesn’t that mean that you have a big history project due in tomorrow?’

‘That’s in hand too,’ Sam assured her, but he still wouldn’t meet Posy’s eyes.

Posy assumed her sternest expression, which made Nina snigger again. ‘Are you sure about that?’

Sam glared at her, Posy glared back at him, each one daring the other to blink first, but it ended in a tie because they both blinked when Pippa clapped her hands.

‘Let’s move past this,’ she advised them. ‘No negative energy, guys, only positive thoughts about great suggestions we can action and expedite, OK? Tom, what have you got for us?’

Posy turned away from Sam with a look that said very clearly, I’m not done with you, to focus her attention on Tom, who was staring at the ceiling, eyes flickering, lips moving soundlessly as if he were trying to remember the script. ‘Oh yeah,’ he said at last. ‘We could have a writer’s group too, maybe author visits. What was the other thing, again?’ Tom was making absolutely no attempt to appear spontaneous and enthusiastic. ‘Tote bags.’

‘Love it,’ Pippa said. ‘And what about, Verity? You’ve been very quiet.’

Verity’s shoulders were touching her ears by this point. Posy’s heart ached for her. This brainstorm was all Verity’s worst fears realised. She swallowed convulsively, squeaked, ‘Bookmarks,’ then sank back down into the corner of the sofa and tried to make herself look as small as possible.

It was time to wrap this up before Posy lost the will to carry on, not just with the brainstorm, but with life itself. Also, Sebastian had been silent up to this point, but judging by the baleful looks he kept directing towards the sofas and the way he kept muttering under his breath, he wasn’t going to stay silent for much longer. It was a miracle he’d lasted this long – maybe Pippa had threatened to take the scissors to his suits. ‘I think we’re done here,’ Posy said quickly. ‘Pippa, I’ll email you the relaunch schedule, and if it’s not too much trouble maybe you could have a look at it and make sure we haven’t forgotten anything? I’m sure we’ve taken up enough of your time this evening.’

‘Time is life’s most valuable resource,’ Pippa said. ‘But I value you, Posy, and what you’re doing here, so I’m happy to spend my time helping you.’

Posy wasn’t sure how to respond to that, or even what it meant so she just muttered her thanks while there was a flurry of activity from the sofas. After putting in an uncanny impersonation of sloths for the last hour, Tom, Nina and Verity were on their feet, coats on and heading for the door at a speed that was verging on superhuman.

‘We’ll see you at the thing,’ Nina called over her shoulder as she fought with Tom to be first out of the shop, and then the three of them were running, actually running, across the courtyard as if they expected Posy to call them back to talk in depth about tote bags.

‘Can I go to the “thing”?’ Sam asked. ‘Because I genuinely have finished my history project, apart from some tiny bits I can do tomorrow, and I know loads of stuff about sport.’

It was setting a terrible example to let Sam go to a pub, especially on a school night and especially when Posy knew full well that the tiny bits of the history project that still had to be done were more likely to be huge bits. Then again, many was the time they’d taken a pasting in the Midnight Bell quiz because they hadn’t managed to get a single answer right in the sports section and Posy couldn’t face an argument with Sam. Not tonight.

‘Yes, fine, go,’ Posy said wearily, but Sam was already making his way to the door with his usual crab-like shuffle because he still needed new school shoes and Posy had yet to break it to him that they were going clothes shopping on Saturday.

And then there were three. Pippa was frowning over her screen and Sebastian’s face was arranging itself from a sneer into a scowl and Posy closed her eyes and counted to five but she’d only got as far as two when …

‘Sack them! Sack them all! Where on earth did you find them? Some community outreach programme for utterly useless, apathetic layabouts? Do you pay them actual money?’ Sebastian clutched at thin air with his hands, looked up to the heavens then mopped his brow with his moss green pocket square. ‘I never thought I’d say this but I think it’s time to bring back National Service.’

‘Oh, poor Sebastian,’ Pippa said without a trace of sympathy. ‘Have you been holding all that in for the last hour?’

‘I’ve barely got started.’ Sebastian was at Posy’s side in three long strides then seized hold of her arms. ‘You have to get rid of them! They have no work ethic!’

Posy unseized her arms. ‘They have a great work ethic!’ she protested, because they all did in their own special and unique ways, none of which had been in evidence this evening. ‘They just don’t perform well in a brainstorm scenario to discuss a crime bookshop when none of them even like crime. We were meant to be relaunching as a romance bookshop,’ she added for the benefit of Pippa, who was looking, with some consternation, at a discarded sweet wrapper lying on the floor. ‘Sorry. Didn’t have time to get out the broom before you arrived.’

‘Ha! Like you’d even know what to do with a broom,’ Sebastian scoffed.

‘I can think of at least two things I could do with one,’ Posy snapped back. ‘So, normally, when they haven’t been browbeaten into a scheme that they want no part of, they’re very hard workers.’

‘Browbeaten?’ Pippa asked. ‘So, they’re not on board with Sebastian’s plans to turn this into murder central?’

‘Not really …’

‘Our plans, Posy,’ Sebastian reminded her in injured tones. ‘You agreed that it was a fantastic idea. That there was a huge market for crime fiction and that it was sexy and you loved it when I talked about tote bags.’

‘I did! I love the tote bags,’ Posy said and right now she wished that there was a tote bag to hand so she could stick her head in it and not have to see Sebastian looking all earnest and sincere. The moss green shirt did wonderful things to his eyes.

‘And you love the idea of a crime fiction bookshop,’ Sebastian persisted. ‘Don’t you?’

Posy started to form the word ‘no’, to confess everything. She could feel her tongue pressing against her front teeth in preparation for sounding out the n, but Sebastian didn’t do no, like he didn’t do off-the-rack or instant coffee. Besides, although she hadn’t done any project managing yet, Pippa seemed like a woman who could do anything once she set her mind to it and Posy needed a woman like that in her life. And it had been a long day and she was tired and there was a huge glass of red wine at the Midnight Bell with her name on it. She didn’t have time to say no.

‘Fine, whatever,’ she said, because that had worked out so well the last time she said it.

‘I need full commitment from you, Posy. Ayn Rand once said, “The question isn’t who’s going to let me, but who’s going to stop me.”’ Pippa had put her orange blazer back on and was standing by the door with her arms folded so she quite obviously wanted to leave too. Sebastian had been right about Pippa’s love of inspirational quotes but it was best to get her on side, especially as she had magic Sebastian-wrangling abilities, which Posy hoped that Pippa might one day share.

‘I’m absolutely on board with the plans for the relaunch,’ Posy said firmly, which wasn’t a lie when she hadn’t specified which relaunch she was talking about. ‘Shall we catch up early next week when you’ve had a proper look at our schedule? Verity says we have to be up and running by end of June, but I don’t see how.’

‘We’ll talk about it next week,’ Pippa promised and she sounded so calm and capable and utterly unruffled by the thought of an end of June relaunch that Posy hoped that Pippa could show her how to be unflappable too. ‘Now, don’t you have a “thing” that you’re meant to be at?’

‘Yes! The thing!’

‘What is this thing? Is it a bookshop thing?’ Sebastian asked. ‘Should I come too?’

‘God no!’ Posy exclaimed in horror as she started turning off lights. She’d deal with the sweet wrapper later. ‘It’s a bookseller thing. Very industry-focused. You’d be bored rigid.’ She flapped her hands in Sebastian’s direction. ‘Come on, haven’t you got somewhere that you’d rather be?’

‘And deprive myself of the pleasure of your charming company, Morland?’ Sebastian looked down his nose at her but stayed where he was.

‘Right, well, I’m off,’ Pippa said, opening the door. ‘Sebastian! Your arse, move it!’

It was a miracle on the same level as the loaves and fishes, but Sebastian moved his arse. ‘How come Sam’s allowed to go to the boring bookseller thing and I’m not? And what does Sam knowing a lot about sport have to do with it?’

‘I would explain but it’s complicated. Boring and complicated,’ Posy said as Sebastian finally stepped through the door so she could leave the shop too and lock the door. ‘All this lingering about, Sebastian. Anyone would think that you liked being in my company.’

‘I don’t know why anyone would think that,’ Sebastian said haughtily, and Posy would have loved to stay and trade a few more insults but it was getting on for seven and she was in danger of missing the start of the quiz.

‘I’m going to be late. So late. Must dash. Lovely to meet you, Pippa,’ she said, and then because she could bear it no longer, Posy scurried away, picking up speed until she was running full pelt across the courtyard, around the corner and hurling herself through the door of the Midnight Bell before Sebastian had a chance to follow.