HE CLOSED HIS EYES, the sound of her voice sending a sweet surge of desire through his body. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, the feelings he had for Eve were more than just superficial. She’d managed to wiggle her way into his life, carving out a place in his heart that would be left empty if she abandoned him.
But she’d made her feelings very clear. She wasn’t interested in anything beyond a sexual relationship. What they shared in bed was incredibly powerful. Yet the past few nights, he’d found himself searching for more, a closeness that could only come with complete honesty.
“Listen, I know you’re angry,” she began. “But you have to understand how hurt I was. And it really wasn’t about you, it was about Matt. I wrote all of that after the divorce hearing, after fighting with him over money, after learning about all the cheating.”
She slowly crossed the room and sat down beside him. Even from a few feet away, he could feel the warmth of her body, smell the scent of her shampoo. Charlie clenched his fingers into fists, trying to fight the impulse to yank her into his arms and kiss her. Kissing her would set everything right again, at least for the moment. And it would probably evolve into a full-scale seduction, which would make them both forget the anger between them.
Sex had always been the answer for him. Whatever ailment he wanted to cure, finding a warm and willing woman was the first prescription he took. But he sensed that they’d moved past using sex as a salve.
When he touched her, it meant something more than just a means to eventual release. Every caress had become a promise, every kiss a silent question. What did it all mean? Was he really falling in love?
Charlie glanced over at Eve. She sat silently beside him, staring into the cold fireplace. “I’m not angry at you,” he said. “I’m mad at myself. I thought I had things exactly how I wanted them. And now, I realize I didn’t know what I wanted.”
“It’s not supposed to be easy,” she said, turning to face him. Her fingertips smoothed over his lips and she leaned forward to kiss him. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
Charlie slipped his fingers through the hair at her nape and pulled her toward him for a long, deep kiss. He searched for her taste, that wonderful sweetness that had become as addictive as a drug to him. And when he found it, Charlie felt himself relax, as if his last care in the world had suddenly dissolved.
Eve’s hands moved to the buttons of his shirt and it took her only a few seconds before she was pushing it off his shoulders and smoothing her palms over his torso. If her taste wasn’t enough to fire his passion, then her touch was. She knew his body so well, all the most sensitive spots, the places she’d claimed as her own.
Charlie didn’t know how they’d managed to shed their clothes. He was only aware of her naked flesh beneath his hands. Before he knew it, they were both undressed and lying on the rug in the middle of the room.
Her fingers encircled his cock, stroking slowly, teasing him to full arousal. He kept his mind occupied with a slow trail of kisses from the base of her throat to her breasts and then back again. His release was already so close…The need to let go was building up inside him.
When she sat up and straddled his hips, he thought that she was ready to join him. But slowly, she drifted lower, her lips pressed against his chest and then his belly and then beyond.
A raw moan tore from his throat as she took him in her mouth. He used to look on this act as just a means to an end, the perfect orgasm. But with Eve, Charlie felt as if she were testing his need, forcing him to be vulnerable to the feel of her lips and tongue on his shaft.
He could surrender to her, completely and with out hesitation. Though they’d only been together ten days and nights, it felt like longer, as if the trust they shared had grown over time. Charlie felt his breath quicken in response to her pace and he fought back the need to surrender. Still, Eve grew more deter mined, each stroke, each caress bringing him closer to the edge.
There would come a time, when he was alone in his tent on the side of some distant mountain, when he’d remember every detail of this. When the mere recollection would send him over the edge. For now, he had real pleasure, not imagined.
“I’m so close,” he murmured.
“What do you want?” Eve asked, looking up at him with a lazy smile. “Do you want me to stop?”
Charlie nodded. But when a frown wrinkled her brow he chuckled softly. “I want you to stop that and start something else.” Gently, he grabbed her arms and drew her alongside him. And then, holding on to her waist, he rolled on top of her and buried himself to the hilt.
It happened so quickly, the shift of power, his cock sliding inside her, that she gasped. Slowly, he began to move, her warmth enveloping him until he lost the ability to think. Instinct took over and they grasped at each other, as if they were both unable to get close enough.
And then, she was there, at the edge one moment and dissolving into spasms the next. Charlie arched against her and let himself go, each thrust taking him to a more perfect place.
When they’d both regained their breath, Charlie stretched out beside her, throwing his leg over her thighs and his arm around her waist. It had all happened so quickly. He was used to taking more time with her.
He waited for the contentment to set in, waited for that long, slow descent into complete relaxation. But it didn’t come. Just like on Everest, he felt incomplete. There were words on the tip of his tongue, words that needed to be said, but Charlie was afraid that telling her how he really felt might drive her away for good.
He sat up and ran his hands through his hair. Her hand smoothed down his back. “That was nice,” she murmured.
Glancing back at her, he forced a smile. I love you. Why was that so difficult to say? Was it because he wasn’t sure of the truth of his words? These feelings roiling around inside of him were strange and unfamiliar. If it wasn’t love, then it was probably insanity.
“Come on,” he murmured. “Let’s go to bed. The sooner this day ends, the better.” He took her hand and helped her to her feet, then followed her into his bedroom, his hands resting on her shoulders.
When they curled up beneath the covers, Eve fell asleep almost immediately. But Charlie was too restless to sleep. His mind was spinning, searching for a tiny bit of clarity.
He’d always prided himself on his ability to master any situation. There was that time he’d fallen into a crevice while climbing Mt. Rainier. And the avalanche he’d ridden down the side of a mountain in Utah while skiing. And the broken wrist he’d suffered three days into a wilderness hike in Arizona. He’d known exactly how to survive.
But this was different. Nothing in his life had prepared him for the onslaught of emotion, the highs and lows that seemed to toss him about like a rogue wave. His father had died before Charlie had really even recognized his parents’ relationship. He should have learned about love from watching them.
Instead, he saw how his mother struggled, raising a family alone. She hadn’t dated, hadn’t even socialized with men after her husband’s death. Charlie had once asked her why she hadn’t tried to find someone else. She’d given him an odd look and said, “There was only one man for me,” she’d said. “And for as long as I live, I will love him.”
At the time, Charlie had idealized his mother’s loyalty, made it into something much more than it was. But as he grew older, he saw how truly lonely she was. How much she missed the man she’d married. He could only imagine what they’d shared, only guess at the relationship they’d built together.
As an adult, Charlie never let himself feel that kind of loneliness. Instead, he consoled himself with an endless string of beautiful women, all of them willing to tell him what an incredible lover he was, what a great time they’d had.
Charlie rolled onto his side and stared at Evie’s face. Her palms were pressed together and resting between the pillow and her cheek. This was the way she slept, all tidy and perfect. All the little things that he’d come to know about her—the expert technique she employed to peel an apple, the funny wrinkle in her nose when she brushed her teeth, the careful way she folded her bath towel.
Would these be the things he missed if he left? Charlie pushed up, swinging his legs off the edge of the bed. He wouldn’t know unless he actually got away, took some time to put all of this in perspective.
“Oh, God,” he murmured, rubbing his eyes with his fingertips. Making decisions used to be so much easier when he was on his own. Now, every decision seemed to be more crucial, filled with hidden twists and traps. Charlie grabbed a pair of jeans from a nearby chair and pulled them on, then tugged a T-shirt over his head.
He found his shoes under the sofa and his car keys on the dining room table. Charlie grabbed a pen and scribbled a note to Eve, then took it back into the bedroom, laying it on his pillow.
He wasn’t sure how much time he needed. Maybe a day. Maybe two. He had another presentation at the university on Tuesday. By then, he ought to know how he really felt. He’d either hop a plane for the job on Everest or ask Eve to move in with him permanently.
Charlie grabbed his jacket on the way back through the living room, then slipped out the front door into the predawn darkness. He had his cell phone. He’d text her later today and try to explain. Until then, he’d just see where the road took him.
EVE OPENED HER EYES, squinting to see the clock on the bedside table. Charlie’s half of the bed was empty as usual. He was an early riser, even though he stayed up until she returned from the restaurant. He seemed to need so much less sleep than she did.
He usually got up shortly after dawn and took a long run, then had coffee at his favorite spot downtown, before walking home with the paper and a coffee for her. It had become a bit of a routine, changed daily by the kind of pastry he brought along with the coffee.
Eve pushed up on her elbow. It was nearly nine. He was usually back by now. She noticed the note on his pillow, then smiled. “Sweet,” she murmured. She grabbed the small piece of paper and rubbed her eyes before attempting to decipher his scrawl.
“I’m sorry. I had to go,” she read. “Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon. Love you.” Eve frowned. “Love you,” she repeated. What was that supposed to mean? Had he just scribbled it as a quick end to his note? Or had he worried over the last line?
Eve shook her head. There was absolutely no reason to analyze the sentiment. The two words were merely a way of expressing affection. She crawled out of bed and wrapped the quilt around her body, then wandered out into the living room, searching for the smell of her morning coffee.
But to her surprise, Charlie wasn’t there, in his usual spot on the sofa, the newspaper spread out in front of him. Eve frowned, then walked to the front door and pulled it open. He wasn’t on the porch either.
An odd feeling settled in her stomach. His backpack was gone. His hiking boots, which usually sat beside the door, were also gone. She hurried to the kitchen, then looked out the window above the sink. The SUV was gone. She retrieved the note and reread it.
Wide-awake and with a few more facts to consider, Eve realized that the note could be read a different way. He wasn’t just running out for coffee. Charlie was gone, the same way he’d left five years ago, only this time, he’d managed to leave a note.
Eve sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at his scrawl. She’d known this was coming. Sooner or later, he was bound to get restless. She drew a long breath, then let it out slowly, fighting back a sob. How long would he be gone this time? A month? A year?
Eve flopped back on the bed and put her arm over her eyes. No, he couldn’t be gone for good, she thought to herself. He still had another lecture to do at the university. A sigh of relief slipped from her lips. He was just getting away for a while, taking a break. He just needed time to himself.
A knock sounded on the front door and a moment later, the bell rang. She found a pair of his jeans tossed over the end of the bed and pulled them on, then grabbed her shirt as she passed through the living room. A young man was standing on the opposite side of the door, an envelope in his hand.
“Hi,” he said. “I’m from Dunbar Travel. Are you…” He paused and grinned. “You don’t look like Charlie Templeton.”
“I’m not. But he lives here.”
“All right,” he said. “Sign for these.”
“What are they?” she asked, as she scribbled her name in his receipt book.
“Tickets,” he said. “The itinerary is in the envelope.”
She closed the door behind him, then crossed to the couch and sat down, tucking her feet beneath her. The envelope was open. If he was planning to surprise her with a trip, then she wanted to know so she could arrange her schedule. But there was another possibility—he was planning his escape.
Eve set the envelope down next to her as if it had burned her fingers. But after a minute of staring at it, she couldn’t deny her curiosity any longer. She picked it up and pulled out the contents. “Denver to Boston,” she murmured. She pulled out a second ticket. “Boston to London to New Delhi to Katmandu,” she read. “Tickets for one.”
He was due to leave at the end of next week. The flight to London was dated for a week after that. It didn’t matter where he was now or whether he’d be back. In the end, Charlie was leaving the country again.
“YOU’RE HERE EARLY,” Lily said. “Usually you don’t get in before eleven. Not that I’m complaining. I’m glad you finally have a social life.”
“Well, you’ll be disappointed to know that it’s all coming to an end. Charlie is gone.”
“Gone?” Lily frowned. “Where?”
“I don’t know. He just disappeared this morning. Said he’d be back soon. And then, some kid delivered plane tickets to his house. He’s taking off in a week for…where is Katmandu? Morocco?”
“I think it’s in Nepal,” Lily said. “Or maybe Tibet?”
“Even worse,” Eve said with a dry laugh. “That won’t be an overnight trip.” She strode to the sink and washed her hands, then grabbed an apron. A sharp knife and a big bowl of onions was all she really needed to work off her frustration.
Eve grabbed an onion and halved it, then peeled off the skin and began to chop it into tiny, even pieces. “I shouldn’t be upset. I knew this was coming. I’ve been prepared. In fact, I’m glad he’s leaving. It would be silly to invest any more time in a relationship that will never go anywhere.”
Tears filled her eyes. She knew they weren’t from the onions, but at least she had a cover while she gave in to her emotions. “He’ll be back. And then we’ll continue as we left off.”
“But you want him to stay,” Lily said.
“No!”
Lily nodded her head. “Yes.”
“No,” Eve insisted.
Lily gave her a pitying look. “Yes.”
Eve brushed the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Yes,” she finally murmured. “Of course I want him to stay. I have a man in my life and he’s funny and kind and I think he genuinely cares about me. Why wouldn’t I want that to continue?”
“Exactly,” Lily said. “Just admit that you want a future with him. That’s the first step.”
“I admit it,” Eve said. “Oh, God.” She dropped the knife and sank onto a nearby stool. “This is going to end so badly.” She grabbed a towel and wiped her runny nose, then looked at Lily through watery eyes. “I let myself fall in love with him.”
“Not hard to do, considering how gorgeous he is.”
“That’s the point. I don’t really even think about how he looks. He makes me laugh and he points out all my faults. He does things to my body that I never thought were possible. When we’re together, we’re…together. It’s like we can’t exist without touching or kissing or whispering.” Eve took a ragged breath. “I do love him.”
“So, tell him. Give him the choice. Love you or leave you.”
“It’s too soon,” she said. “Nobody falls in love in just over a week.”
“It hasn’t been just a week. It’s been five years.”
“No,” Eve said, shaking her head. But perhaps Lily was right. Maybe this feeling had begun all those years ago and had survived, buried somewhere in a quiet corner of her heart.
Lily stepped to her side. “There’s nothing wrong with honesty,” she said, grabbing the towel and dabbing at Eve’s eyes. “Just tell him how you feel.”
“I’ll sound ridiculous,” Eve said. “How can I feel this much in little more than a week?” She shook her head. “No. No! This is just an overreaction. It’s because of the divorce. I’m making more of this than there really is. I did exactly the same thing with Matt after Charlie left. I made him into some white knight. I’m not going to do that again.”
“All right. Then dump him. Dump Charlie. That will make you feel better, won’t it? Get him out of your life for good. Put this all behind you and move on.”
“I will,” Eve said. “As soon as I figure out where he is. Or when he’s coming back.”
He’d taken all his camping gear. She knew one place where he might be. When they’d gone camping together, he’d mentioned that he’d stayed at that site many times. It was close by and not a difficult hike. Tomorrow, she’d hike up there and tell him how she felt.
And in between now and then, she’d try her very best to figure out how she felt.
CHARLIE WINCED as he removed his hiking boot. It had been a stupid accident, one that was easily preventable had he been paying attention to the trail ahead. But his mind had been occupied with thoughts of Eve.
He’d been out in the woods for a day, hoping that fresh air and solitude would clear his mind and make his decisions easier. One misplaced footstep and he’d gone down, his ankle rolling to the side.
By the time he’d removed his sock, the ankle had already begun to swell. “Not good,” he muttered. His cell phone was back at camp, but he was almost certain he’d get no signal. The only choice he had was to wait, let the swelling go down and walk out.
Charlie wiggled his toes, then tested the motion of his foot. He was pretty certain it wasn’t broken. Balancing himself on a nearby tree, he stood and tried to put weight on it, then hobbled a few feet down the trail and back. He wouldn’t be able to go far, at least not for a day or two. But he had enough food to last a week. Though the river was a complicated trip on one foot, he could easily slide down on his ass and climb up on his knees.
Like any good outdoorsman, Charlie began to formulate a plan. He was only about a hundred yards from his campsite. First, he needed to cut down the swelling. The river would be icy cold from the runoff in the mountains. He’d go soak his ankle, then crawl back up to his campsite before dark. If he elevated it overnight, he might be able to walk out tomorrow.
Charlie searched around in the underbrush for a sturdy stick. He found one dangling from a nearby sapling and pulled down. It wasn’t the best, but it had a nice joint to tuck under his arm. He pulled off his T-shirt and wrapped it around the Y in the branch, then gave it a test. Though it was a bit long, he could take care of that problem with his hatchet.
As he struggled back toward his campsite, he couldn’t help but think about how this little accident had completely taken his mind off Eve.
He’d thought solitude would clear his mind. But instead, he’d spent most of his time thinking about their last trip together, the seduction in the cold night, lying next to the campfire. The feel of her naked body curled up against his. The pleasure of waking up to the sounds of the trees rustling outside and the soft rhythm of her breathing.
He’d planned to spend just one more night in the woods before heading back to Boulder. The day after tomorrow, he was due at the university for another lecture and he had every intention of keeping that appointment. If he couldn’t hike out under his own power, they’d come looking for him. And Eve could guess where he might have gone.
By the time he’d made it down to the river, Charlie’s ankle was throbbing from the pain. He sat down on a boulder, then slid over to the edge of the water, plunging his foot into the rushing current.
“Shit,” he muttered, wincing at the icy cold. He closed his eyes, then waited as long as he could be fore he took his foot out. Though it felt considerably better, it didn’t look much different.
“Charlie!”
He straightened at the sound of his name, looking up along the bank toward the woods. “Yeah?”
“Charlie? Where are you?”
“Eve? I’m down here. At the river.”
A few seconds later, she emerged from the woods, her hair tangled and her face dirty. She stumbled up to his side and threw herself into his arms. “Oh, God. You’re safe. You’re alive.”
He stared at her in disbelief. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“I found your daypack on the trail and it was all torn apart. I thought you’d been eaten by a bear. Or a wolf. Or a cougar.” She held his face in her hands. “Are you sure you’re all right? Why did you leave your pack there?”
“I twisted my ankle,” he said, then stopped. “I didn’t leave it behind all that long ago.” He craned his neck to scan the woods. “A bear might have gotten at it. Or a very determined squirrel. Damn it, Eve, you shouldn’t be hiking alone. Never, ever, hike alone.”
“I could have been eaten by a bear?” she said.
“He probably wouldn’t have eaten you.” He shrugged. “Well, not unless you ran into a grizzly. Black bears usually run when they see humans. But—that’s not the point. Never hike alone.”
“You’re hiking alone,” she said.
“I have a little bit of experience in the woods,” he replied. “And look what happened to me.”
She took a ragged breath. “I had to find you. We need to talk.”
“Right now?”
“No, not this minute.” She glanced down at his foot. “What happened? Your ankle is all swollen.”
“I sprained my ankle. I told you. That’s why I left my pack on the trail. Are you all right? Did you hit your head?” She seemed completely flustered, as if her time alone in the woods had unhinged her a bit. This was not the calm and organized Eve he knew and loved.
“It’s a little scary out here all alone,” she said, glancing around. “I wasn’t sure I knew my way. I had my cell phone along, just in case, but—”
“Your cell phone won’t work out here,” he said.
“It worked earlier. I called Lily at the restaurant to tell her about the new blender I ordered and she said…”
“Your phone worked?”
She nodded, then held it out to him. He turned it on, but there was no signal. “It doesn’t work now. How long ago did it work?”
“A half-hour,” she said, glancing at her watch. “I called her at two-thirty. It’s quarter after three now.”
“Two miles,” he murmured. “Maybe three. So, what was so important that you braved the wilds to find me?”
She gave him an odd look, opening her mouth, then snapping it shut. “Nothing,” she finally murmured. “It seemed important at the time, but it’s not. We can talk about it later.” She pointed to his foot. “Doesn’t that hurt?”
Charlie nodded. “Yeah. It’s a pretty bad sprain. I don’t think it’s broken, though.”
“How were you going to walk on it?”
“I wasn’t,” Charlie said. “I was going to give it a few days, see if it felt better. I figured if I missed my lecture, someone would come looking and rescue me. And here you are.”
“I can’t carry you out,” she said. “You’re too heavy.”
“If you can get cell phone service an hour down the trail, then we can walk to that point and call.”
“You can’t walk,” she said.
“It will be a little slow going. It shouldn’t take us longer than three or four hours.” He stood, but the moment he put even a tiny bit of weight on his ankle the pain was unbearable.
“You’ll never be able to walk on it. I ran into some mountain bikers on the trail,” she said, glancing between his foot and his face. “Maybe if we yell, they’ll hear us.”
“I don’t think yelling is going to help,” he said.
She chewed on her lower lip for a long moment, then took a deep breath and stood. “I’ll go. If I hurry, I can bring back help right away.” She sat back down. “I don’t want to go. What if I run into a bear? It was stupid of me to come out here alone.”
He reached out and put his arm around her. “Then you’ll stay. Maybe tomorrow, my ankle will feel good enough for both of us to walk out. Come on, help me back up to the camp and I’ll make us some dinner.”
Charlie had no idea what had brought Eve to the woods, but it must have been something pretty important. He thought about pressing her further, but then decided that they had the entire night together. Sooner or later, she’d tell him.
When they got back the campsite, Eve perched on the log next to the fire, watching him warily. “I was surprised when I woke up yesterday and you were gone.”
“I left the note,” Charlie said.
“I thought you were gone for good. Like the last time.”
“Eve, you knew I had to be back for my lecture. Besides, I said in my note that I’d be back.” He sighed, then sat down beside her. “I’d never leave without saying goodbye. Not this time.”
“And what has changed?” she asked.
“A lot. My feelings for you…they’re different. Deeper. More…durable.”
“And you think they’re strong enough to last over another long separation? Another five years?”
“I’m not going away for five years,” Charlie reassured her.
“But you are going away,” she said. Eve reached into her jacket pocket, then held out an envelope. “These are for you. They were delivered yesterday morning. I signed for them.”
“Them?”
“They’re airline tickets. For your trip to Katmandu.” She paused. “You could have told me you were planning to leave.”
“I wasn’t,” he said. “I hadn’t made a decision.”
“Plane tickets aren’t a decision?” She held up her hand. “I’m not angry. We knew this time would come. You need to go back to your life and I need to go back to mine. Besides, I’m not going to be here anyway. I—I’m going to open my restaurant in Seattle. I have investors and they’ve found a good location. I should have—”
He stopped her words with his finger, pressing it against her lips. “How do you really feel, Eve? Say it. Out loud. Tell me what you want.”
He saw the indecision in her face. She still didn’t trust him. Hell, if he could turn back time, he’d do it in a heartbeat. His choice to leave her the first time had been the worst decision in his life and now he was paying for it. But he couldn’t force her to trust him. He’d have to show her that he planned to stick around.
“I’m not going to Katmandu,” he said. “I’m not taking the job. The guy who found the job for me just assumed I’d be anxious to go. He was wrong.” Charlie chuckled. “Besides, if this ankle is broken, I’m not going to climb Everest in a month.”
“What kind of job is it?” she asked.
“It’s a television special for National Geographic about the ecological and social impact of the climbing business on Everest.”
“It sounds important,” she said.
“It is, kind of,” Charlie admitted. “I’m really not sure I could do it. I write. But with this, I’d be on camera a lot.”
“Oh, you’d be great,” Eve said. “You’d be perfect.”
“You think so?”
She nodded. “Charlie, you have to do it. It’s about ecology. It’s your moral duty to do it. Don’t you want to stand up for a cause that’s important?”
“Of course I do. But it’s going to take me away from you.”
“We haven’t made any promises to each other. You should go.” She drew in a deep breath, then smiled. “You should.” Eve got to her feet, then brushed off her backside. “I’m going to walk down the trail and see if I can get cell phone service. Maybe I’ll run into those mountain bikers and they can help.”
He considered her offer for a long moment, then shook his head. “No, I don’t want you out there alone. Stay here with me. Help will come.”
“I’ll be back in a little while,” she said.
He didn’t want her to leave, but she seemed determined to put some distance between them, no matter what the cost. And when Eve made a decision, she usually couldn’t be swayed. “Be careful,” he said.
“I will.”
“If you’re not back here in an hour, I’m coming to look for you.”
She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. But Charlie grabbed her and pulled her into his embrace, his balance wavering for a moment. His lips found hers and he kissed her, deeply and thoroughly. And when she was nearly breathless from the experience, he drew back.
“I love you, Evie.”
She looked up at him, her eyes wide. For a moment, he thought she might return the sentiment. Instead, she just blinked. “I should go.”
Charlie nodded. Whether she believed him or not didn’t matter. He’d told her how he felt. And he’d certainly showed her how he felt. Now, she’d have to figure out what to make of it.
He watched her walk out of camp. “Make a lot of noise while you’re walking,” he called. “Sing.”
The sound of her voice drifted back to him. “What should I sing?” she called. A few moments later, the strains of “My Country ’Tis of Thee” came through the trees.
“Oh, Evie, I do love you,” he murmured. “And I’m pretty sure you love me.” Now if he could just get her to admit it, they could start planning a future together.