EVE SAT QUIETLY ON A BENCH in the ranger station, the quiet pace belying the fact that a rescue operation was underway. Any moment now, Charlie would return to the station, rescued by two men driving ATVs.
She met up with a group of eight mountain bikers fifteen minutes down the trail. Half the group had walked with her until she could get cell phone service and the other half had set off for Charlie’s campsite.
In the end, she’d been ordered to wait on the trail until the rangers arrived. One had returned her to the station while the other two had gone on to get Charlie and his gear.
“Don’t worry. Your husband will be fine.”
Eve looked up to find a female ranger standing in front of her, a clipboard in her hands. “He’s not my husband,” she said.
“Well, he will still be fine. We handle all sorts of emergencies here. And lots of sprained ankles and broken legs. People seem to get particularly clumsy walking through the woods.” She sat down next to Eve. “Can I get you anything?”
“Sure. Do you have a psychiatrist handy? Because I really need to talk to someone.” The ranger gave Eve an odd look, then slowly stood. “I’m kidding,” Eve said. “I just heard something out there in the woods that I never thought I’d hear. And I’m not sure how to take it.”
“This isn’t one of those alien stories, is it?” the ranger asked. “Because we get a lot of those, too.”
“No,” Eve insisted. “No, I’m not crazy. My boyfriend just blurted out that he loved me and I’m not sure what to think about that. We’ve only been together two weeks. Well, we were together for a month and two weeks five years ago. Or five years and two weeks. Don’t you think that’s kind of soon to be saying something like that?”
Eve wasn’t sure why she was unburdening herself to a complete stranger. Maybe she wanted a totally unbiased opinion. Lily would never give it to her. And if she asked her mother, that would set off a firestorm of wedding plans that Eve wasn’t prepared to deal with.
“I guess he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it,” the ranger said.
“But maybe it was just one of those casual ‘I love yous.’ You know the kind. Love you, babe. Men toss those off all the time and it doesn’t mean they want to settle down and have children with you. My ex-husband told me that he loved me and he didn’t.”
“I think you might be overanalyzing this,” the ranger said.
“What is your name? I mean, your first name. Your badge says ‘Beckham’.”
“Carly,” the ranger said.
“Carly, have you ever met a guy and been so in credibly attracted to him you can’t think straight?”
“Sure,” Carly said. “I love when that happens. Al though it doesn’t happen that often. A few years back, there was this ranger who started working here and he was gorgeous. His name was Eric. Ranger Eric. I mean, I usually have my pick of guys. Look at me, I’m the only woman at this location. But this guy was so amazing. And he knew it. We dated for a month and then he informed me he was being transferred to a post in Wyoming. He knew this when we started sleeping together but he didn’t think it was important enough to tell me.”
“That’s exactly what happened to me. Charlie just disappeared one day. He didn’t even tell me he was leaving. These guys are…drifters. You know in your heart they’re bad for you, but you can’t help yourself. He was gone for five years and then one day he just showed up again. Like he’d never been gone at all.”
“And now he loves you?” Carly asks.
“That’s what he says. I’m not sure I should believe him.”
“Maybe it’s just taken him five years to figure it out. Sometimes men can be so slow at those things.”
The door to the ranger station opened and Carly stood up. Eve waited, then smiled as Charlie hobbled in with a pair of crutches.
“That’s him?” Carly asked.
Eve nodded.
“Oh, girl, if a man like that told me he loved me, I’d put all my doubts aside and marry him as soon as possible.” She pressed her hand to her heart. “Goodness, he is gorgeous.”
But Ranger Carly’s words didn’t soothe Eve’s doubts. Matt had been a pretty ordinary guy and he’d fallen prey to other women. How was she supposed to keep a guy like Charlie interested—especially for the rest of her life? What was it that attracted him to her—besides her skills in the kitchen?
Maybe she’d have to resort to cooking meat, Eve mused. If he couldn’t get it at home, then he’d go other places to find it—fast food restaurants filled with pretty young women, butcher shops filled with pretty young women, steakhouses…filled with pretty young women.
“Hey. You made it back,” Charlie said, crossing the room to stand in front of her.
“No bears,” Eve said. “It wasn’t so bad. I ran into the bikers soon after I left you. And all I saw on the trail were a few squirrels and a very big crow.”
“Come on. They’re going to take us to get our cars and then I have to stop by a hospital and get an X-ray.” He pulled her into a hug. “Thanks for rescuing me, Evie. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
“I’m sure you would have survived. You don’t need me.”
He drew back, frowning at her. His hand cupped her cheek and he ran his thumb over her lips. “Where would you get an idea like that? Of course I need you.” He kissed her softly, then grinned. “Come on. I’m ready to get out of the woods and find a nice soft spot to rest my ankle.” He leaned closer to whisper in her ear. “My bed, preferably, with you in it.”
As she walked out of the ranger station, Carly gave her a thumbs-up. Eve smiled weakly. Everyone else seemed to be convinced Charlie was the perfect man for her. Now, she just had to convince herself.
CHARLIE STRETCHED OUT on the leather couch in his living room, his ankle propped up on a pillow. Eve was in the kitchen, making them both lunch while he watched a Rockies game on television.
He smiled to himself. Since they’d returned from the woods yesterday, he and Eve had settled back into their life together. She’d decided to take the day off from the restaurant to work on her cookbook, testing recipes in his kitchen. She claimed using his kitchen was better since it contained consumer appliances, which her readers would be using anyway.
Charlie preferred to think she just wanted to spend more time with him. After discovering his plans to go back to Nepal, she’d begun to see their time together as finite. Charlie hadn’t bothered to tell her he had decided not to take the job.
The way he figured, it would be a good test, a chance to find out how she really felt. As the time grew closer for him to “leave,” her true feelings would be revealed. And if she asked him to stay, or begged him to stay as he imagined it, then he’d know they had a future together.
Though it wasn’t the best way to go about gauging her feelings, it was the only option open to him. Every time he tried to discuss the future, Eve quickly changed the subject. It wasn’t difficult for him to understand her reluctance, especially after her divorce.
But it was more than just a general distrust of men, Charlie mused. He suspected she was afraid her career would suffer if she committed to a relationship. Over the past week, she’d spent very little time at the restaurant and he could see how torn she was about it. The only factor that saved her was her belief he’d be gone in a week or two and her life would return to normal.
Charlie grabbed his crutches and hopped up on one foot. He made his way to the kitchen, standing in the doorway and watching her as she bent over the counter, her back toward him. “How’s it going?”
Eve glanced over her shoulder. “Really well,” she said. “Here, come and taste.” She moved to the stove, then stirred a pot, before scooping out a ladle of soup into a bowl. “I love soup,” she said with a sigh. “It’s the perfect food.”
“I always thought hot dogs were the perfect food,” Charlie said.
She groaned. “Have I taught you nothing?”
“It’s a meal in a bun. Tacos are almost as good, but they’re a lot messier. Anything wrapped in anything else is my idea of a perfect meal. You can put it in your pocket, eat it in the car, and not have to bother with a fork and a knife.”
“Taste it,” she said.
“Tofu?” he asked.
Eve shook her head. “It’s a five-bean chili with TVP instead of meat. There are seven different vegetables in it.”
Charlie gave it a taste and smiled. “It’s good. It’s really good. It’s kind of sweet and smoky.”
“Molasses,” she said. “And Dijon mustard. I think it’s just about right. Spicy, but not too spicy.”
“Man, if you could dehydrate this, I know a lot of climbers who’d eat this every night for dinner.”
“It would taste pretty good dehydrated,” she said. “The beans would hold up really well.”
He leaned back on the counter. “We should start a business together,” he said. “There’s a good-sized market for dehydrated foods. Especially foods that taste good and pack a lot of calories and carbs into a small amount of space. Campers and climbers would love it—and probably the military, too. Astronauts. There’s another market, although it’s a small niche.”
Eve giggled. But then her smile faded slightly. “You really think there’s a market?”
“I know a lot of climbers who are vegetarian. And those who aren’t would buy this just because it tasted so good.”
“I have a dehydrator at the restaurant. I use it for fresh herbs and fruit. We’d have to cook all the ingredients separately. You couldn’t just dump soup into it and expect it to work.”
“I know a guy who runs an outfitting company and he’s always looking for new ventures. He’d carry this, I’m sure of it. And a lot of the expeditions on Everest use him for their equipment and supplies.”
“I have a lot of other recipes that would work,” Eve said, excitement growing in her voice. “We could—” She stopped suddenly. “I could—”
“No,” Charlie said. “We. We could do this together.” He reached over and touched her arm. “I’m thinking I might stick around awhile. I can’t do this forever. I mean, living out of a backpack, sleeping in a tent. Maybe it’s time to get on with the rest of my life.”
“No,” she said.
“No?” He frowned. “No to the business? Or no to the sticking around?”
“We had an agreement,” she said.
Charlie laughed. “We never had any agreement. Did I sign something I wasn’t aware of? I mean, there have been times over the past two weeks when I’ve lost touch with reality, mostly when we’re in bed.” He cleared his throat. “No, always when we’re in bed. Unless I signed your agreement then, I don’t remember.”
“You know what I mean,” Eve said. “You’re supposed to go away again. And I’m supposed to carry on with my life. That’s the way I had it planned.”
“Well, plans change,” he said, his tone sharp with anger. Frustration welled up inside of him. This was crazy. He was in love with Eve Keller and she refused to believe him. Maybe this was just all poetic justice. He’d seduced so many women that he’d lost all credibility.
“Please, don’t do this,” Eve said.
“How do you feel?” Charlie asked, grabbing her arms and turning her to face him. He touched her head. “Not in here, but in here.” He pressed his palm to her chest. “I know how I feel, Eve. I’m falling in love with you. Hell, I might as well admit it. I am in love with you. And I understand why you might not believe me, but you’re going to have to trust me on this.”
“Why? So you can reassure yourself you’re just a normal guy with normal needs? What’s to stop you from changing your mind? Millions of guys do it. Just because you love me now doesn’t mean you’ll love me in a year or two.”
“You’re right,” he said. “But sometimes you just have to go on faith. You have to take a chance and see the possibilities.” He leaned close and touched his lips to hers. “You can’t deny there’s something incredible between us.”
“Sex isn’t love,” she said. “And desire isn’t fidelity. I’m not stupid enough to believe that.”
“So, I’m paying for the mistakes you made with your ex?”
“Mistakes I made? He was the one who cheated.”
“You were the one who married him.”
She cursed softly, slamming the spoon down on the counter. “Don’t you dare blame all of that on me. You share just as much of the blame.”
“All right,” Charlie said. “Now we’re getting somewhere. Yes, I will take part of the blame. I was an idiot to leave you. I should never have walked out. I made the biggest mistake of my life and now, I’m paying for it.”
She opened her mouth as if to snap back at him, but then her expression softened. “Only some mistakes can’t be fixed. No matter how hard you want to try,” she said in a defeated tone. Eve took a ragged breath. “I should go. I have to work. I’ve stayed away from the restaurant for far too long.”
“No, we’re going to settle this. Right here and right now,” Charlie said. “I want to know where I stand.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I can’t make any promises,” Eve murmured. “I won’t. Not now.”
“So you want me to leave?”
“Of course not,” she said.
“You want me to stay?”
“You have to work. And you have a chance to do that in Nepal. I’m not going to keep you from leaving. And I’m not going to ask you to stay. Make up your own mind.”
With that, she turned and strode out of the kitchen. Charlie heard the front door slam and he cursed out loud. What had ever made him believe this would be easy? He’d always thought if he found the right woman, everything would work out like it was supposed to. But now, he felt as if he was in the middle of a battle of wills—and he was losing.
What more was he supposed to do to prove his feelings to her? He limped over to the kitchen table and sat down. Eve had made cornbread and the loaf was cooling in front of him. He took a knife and cut off a huge slice, then slowly bit into it.
“Oh, God,” he murmured. Charlie reached for the butter and slathered a good measure on the warm bread. There were so many things he loved about Eve. The way her naked body felt against his, the taste of her mouth when he kissed her, the scent of her damp hair after a shower. Now he could add her cornbread and five-bean chili to his list.
“THEY WANT US TO FLY TO Seattle this weekend. All the investors are going to be in town and they’d like you to cook for them on Sunday night.”
“This weekend?” Eve sighed. After two days off, she’d put in a long night in the kitchen, a night filled with confusion over Charlie. The last thing she wanted to talk about was business. “I’m not ready. I need time to plan a menu.”
“Cook what you cook at the restaurant every day,” Lily said. “That’s what they’re looking for. They’ve got a restaurant booked and you can use their kitchen. You’re supposed to call with a list of supplies you’ll need. And we’ll shop when we get out there.” She paused. “And they want you to do at least a few seafood dishes.”
“Why? They know I’m a vegetarian chef.”
“They think the restaurant would be more popular if you at least had three or four fish and seafood dishes on the menu. It works for us here. And Seattle is a fish town.”
Eve shook her head. “If they really want me, then they’ll take me the way I am.” Though Eve wanted to sound as if she were standing on principle, she knew that her argument had nothing to do with her beliefs as a cook. She wanted to spend every last day she could with Charlie.
“Eve, you can convince them of that after you cook for them,” Lily said. “Just give them a chance to get to know you.”
“The Garden Gate is about vegetarian cuisine. Our decision to serve fish and seafood was out of financial necessity. We always said we’d go back to strict vegetarian as soon as business was good. It’s been good for a couple years now and I say it’s time to change back.”
“What is wrong with you? I thought this was what you wanted,” Lily said. “These investors are interested in you. They believe in you.”
Eve sat down on a kitchen stool and buried her face in her hands. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I’m just really tired. I haven’t been sleeping much.”
“Maybe if you came home and slept in your own bed, you wouldn’t be so tired.”
“It’s not because I’ve been having nonstop sex,” Eve explained. “Well, I actually have, but that’s not why I’m tired.”
“Would you care to share? Or am I supposed to guess?” Lily said after a long silence.
“Charlie is talking about staying in Boulder. Indefinitely. In fact, he made a business proposal to me earlier today. And it’s actually something pretty intriguing.” She shook her head. “I don’t know why I’m even considering these feelings I have.”
“Maybe because you’d like to believe there is a man out there who is absolutely perfect for you? And that man is Charlie?”
“How am I supposed to know?”
“Well, maybe you can’t,” Lily said. “Not after just a week or two. You need more time.”
“He seems to know exactly how he feels.”
Lily held up her hand. “Wait a second. This sounds like a discussion that would be best paired with a nice pinot noir.”
“Make it a cabernet,” Eve said. “The good stuff. That Whitehill reserve. And bring the whole bottle.”
Lily disappeared into the dining room and a few seconds later returned empty-handed.
“What? We can’t be out of Whitehill,” Eve said. “We had a whole case last week.”
“You have a visitor,” Lily said.
“Charlie?”
Lily shook her head. “Matt. He said it’s important. He said he’ll only take a few minutes of your time.”
“I don’t want to talk to him,” Eve said. “Tell him he can call my lawyer if he has anything to say.”
“I don’t think he’ll leave unless you talk to him,” Lily said.
Eve stood up, shoving the stool back across the tile floor. She stalked out of the kitchen, the door swinging closed behind her. Glancing back, she saw Lily peering out of the small window and she waved her off. When Eve reached the bar area, she found Matt sitting alone, nursing a beer.
Eve met Kenny’s gaze and smiled at the bartender. “Can you give us a few minutes?” she asked. “Maybe you could start going through the wine order and get that ready for tomorrow?”
“Sure, boss,” Kenny said. He wiped his wet hands on a towel, then walked back to the kitchen.
“What do you want?”
Matt looked up at her and pasted a weak smile on his face. “Hello, Eve.”
She pointed a finger at him. “I’m not going to discuss the divorce settlement with you. Talk to my lawyer.”
“That’s not what this is about.” He pointed to the stool next to his. “Sit. I just have to say a few things and then, if you like, I’ll get out of your life for good.”
He seemed so defeated, his usual arrogance completely drained. Curious, Eve sat down, leaving a single barstool as a buffer between them. “Go ahead.”
“I want you to know that I love you, Eve.”
Eve jumped up. “What is this? Is there something in the water? Suddenly, everyone loves me. I’ve been hearing it all day long. Just a few weeks ago, I was wondering if I’d ever be with anyone ever again. Now men are falling at my feet.”
“Men?”
“Yes,” Eve said sarcastically. “Men. Hundreds of them.”
“I guess I can see why,” Matt murmured. “They can see what I was too stupid to notice. What a great woman you are.”
“Oh, please. Just tell me how much money you want and get it over with. I have a bottle of wine to drink and a cheesecake to eat.”
“I—I didn’t come here for money.”
“That’s not what you were saying the last time we talked. You were ready to renegotiate the divorce settlement.”
“I just came to see—I mean, I was hoping you’d—I wanted to let you know that if there was any chance for us, you know, to fix the past—to get back together and try again—then I’d like to do that.”
Eve couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “No, there’s no chance of that. Why would you even ask?”
“I just wanted to make sure,” Matt said. “Cause I’m—I guess I’m getting married again.”
“All right,” Eve said, standing up and pressing her palms on the bar. “This is just too weird. You need to leave.”
“No, it’s true,” Matt said. “This girl I’ve been dating just told me she’s pregnant. And the baby is mine. When she told me, I kind of freaked out. I mean, it’s a lot to take in. And the expense is…” His voice trailed off. “Now that it’s really over with us, I guess I’m going to marry her instead.”
“So she’s getting you by default?” Eve slowly sat back down. “Matt, listen to me. Listen very carefully. If you don’t love her, then don’t pretend you do. Don’t make her believe something that isn’t true. Work hard and give her money to help raise your child, be a good father, but don’t make her think you’ll ever love her if you won’t.”
“You don’t think I could love her?”
“Men don’t change. She might not know about all the things that messed up our marriage and maybe that won’t make a difference, but—”
“Actually, she does,” Matt said. “I kind of dated her while we were married. And then, a few months ago, we hooked up again and one thing led to another and here I am. About to become a dad.” His hand shook as he picked up his beer glass. He took a long swallow. “I don’t know what to do. I think I really screwed up this time.”
“You really want my advice?” Eve asked.
“I do,” he replied.
“Be a man,” she said softly. Even after all this time and all that had passed between them, she felt a bit sorry for Matt. She felt a whole lot worse for the woman who was carrying his child and for the child itself, who’d grow up with a jerk for a father. Still, there was no reason to make him feel worse than he already did. “You can change. You can be the best father ever.”
“No,” he murmured.
She reached out and covered his hand with hers. “You can. It’ll be hard work and sometimes you’ll want to walk away. But you’re going to be a father and raising this child is going to be the most important thing you ever do in your life. You need to do it right.”
He smiled wanly. “My dad was never around. And when he was, he and my mom were always fighting. I used to tell myself I’d do a much better job once I became a father.”
“Then prove it,” Eve said.
“You really think I can change?” he asked, his expression filled with disbelief.
“Absolutely,” Eve said. Though it might have been the biggest lie she ever told in her life, Eve knew she’d done the right thing.
Her words seemed to give him courage. He drained the rest of his glass, then stood up. “I can. I’m going to go talk to her right now. Get this all figured out. And when that baby comes, I’m going to be a good dad.”
She watched him walk out the front door. He turned and waved at her and Eve sent him an encouraging smile. When he was gone, she walked to the end of the bar and pulled a bottle of the reserve Cabernet from the tall wooden wine rack.
She quickly opened it and poured a glass, then sat down at the bar and took a sip. Eve couldn’t help but wonder why she’d encouraged Matt. Did she really believe a man could change?
Throughout her parents’ marriage, her father had never changed. Eve wasn’t sure he’d ever wanted to. He enjoyed his life exactly the way it was, with all the petty dramas and imagined passions. Her mother had chosen to put up with it—and still did for all Eve knew.
But when those same problems had haunted her own marriage, Eve had stood up and taken a stand. It wasn’t out of courage that she’d walked away from her first marriage. It was out of fear. Fear that she’d become her mother—a woman who was willing to put her own emotions aside just to keep her marriage intact.
Maybe that’s why Eve worked so hard at her career. She’d never have to depend upon a man to take care of her, to be the center of her life. If she was going to love a man, and trust him with her whole soul, he had to be someone who could tolerate her independent streak.
Was Charlie that man? “Probably,” Eve murmured. He liked her exactly the way she was.
In the short time they’d been together again, Eve had been forced to admit that he was different from the man she’d known five years ago. And she was a different woman. But was she willing to risk her heart one more time? Did she have the strength to stick with it, to weather the bad times without bailing yet again?
Maybe she could have made her marriage to Matt work. She hadn’t really tried to save it once she found out about his cheating. They might have been happy, had he agreed to give up the other women. But Eve doubted they ever would have found the kind of passion she shared with Charlie. It just hadn’t been there with Matt.
It just wasn’t in her nature to trust easily. She wanted to love Charlie, or at least believe that love was possible. And yet, she knew the more time she invested in him, the harder it would be to let him go. She already felt something deeper for him than she’d ever felt for another man. And they’d been together two weeks.
“Are you all right?”
The sound of Lily’s voice startled her and Eve turned as her friend sat down beside her. “Yes,” she murmured, forcing a smile. “I’m fine.”
“What did he want?”
“He wanted to tell me he’s going to be a father,” Eve said.
“Matt?”
“Yes,” Eve said. She sighed softly. “And I wished him well.” Pushing away from the bar, Eve stood. “I have to go. Can you close up for me?”
“Sure. Listen, why don’t we just leave everything for tomorrow morning? We’ll go get a drink somewhere. Have some fun.”
“I have something to do,” Eve said. “Maybe another time.” She slipped out of her chef’s coat and draped it over the back of a stool, then gave Lily a clumsy hug.
“What is it?” Lily asked, staring at Eve’s somber expression.
“I think I might be in love.” Eve drew a ragged breath. “Or maybe I am in love. I’m not sure. But I have to figure out what to do about it.” She grabbed the open bottle of wine and walked out the front door.