JIM JERKED AWAKE. He’d been doing that all night, slamming into alertness, only to realize that it was still the middle of the night, Nicky was still asleep beside him on his bed, and that he really needed to get some rest. Especially since he had no idea how today’s “morning after” with Nicky was going to go.
He glanced at the clock—6:42. He looked down at her. Her hair was a bit of a mess, fat curls going every which way, some in clumps, other in wispy strands. Her face was slack in sleep, and he saw bits of something shimmery around her eyes. The remains of yesterday’s makeup, he realized. Her lips were open, her breathing deep, but no snoring. That was nice. And then there was her naked shoulder, the tops of her naked breasts, and her bare arm curled up beneath her pillow.
All in all, a beautiful sight. He set his head back down on his pillow and wondered at his conclusion. Individually, the details of her appearance were rather unattractive. But put together in the whole package that was Nicky, she was stunningly beautiful to him. Just lying here next to her made him feel special, like a warm thrill trembled somewhere beneath the surface of his skin. Every moment that she lay beside him, something deep in his heart was doing a happy dance.
He sighed. He needed to think, not lay here mooning over her. He’d gotten several clues into Nicky’s psyche last night, and he wanted to figure out as much as possible about her before she woke up. He knew that she had two rather distinct personas. The first was Executive Nicky, as he mentally dubbed the gray-suited woman who was permanently attached to her PDA/cell phone. She was the one who orchestrated everything in her life. Even sex, apparently. She ordered everyone around including herself. Executive Nicky seemed to be afraid that if she let up in any way for even a moment, then disaster would strike. She’d lose her job, her home, her everything. He knew for sure that Executive Nicky didn’t want to acknowledge that the other Nicky, Sexy Nicky, even existed. Executive Nicky would never even imagine the things that Sexy Nicky did. And if she did, she’d never, ever admit to it.
The question was why? Why was Executive Nicky so strong? Why did it have to take hypnotism for Sexy Nicky to come out? He’d caught another clue when she said she had terrible taste in men. He knew that had been true in high school. He’d been there prom night rescuing her from the drunken captain of the wrestling team. But could one bad choice in high school color the entire rest of her life? Maybe. Executive Nicky didn’t tolerate any screwups, her own most especially. But did Nicky not trust herself because of a single bad boyfriend, or was there more to it? How many bad choices had she made?
He wanted to ask her these questions. He wanted to explore them with her and help her get to Sexy Nicky as often as possible. With him, hopefully. But how did he keep Executive Nicky from blowing a gasket while they searched for the answer? Sure, he could keep hypnotizing her, but that really felt like cheating. Sexy Nicky was great for a night. Or a hundred nights. But in the end, he’d like to have a relationship with a whole woman. He was still pondering the problem thirty-seven minutes later when her eyes fluttered open.
She had pretty eyes. Rich brown. Light behind oak—sturdy, beautiful and filled with life. She blinked twice and a dreamy look came into them.
“Good morning,” he whispered with his most winning smile. “Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea?” Me? “Or would you prefer to sleep a little longer?”
Her eyes widened farther, and her head rose slightly off the pillow. Her gaze slipped past him to his room. Then she looked back at him and something changed. Her mouth opened slightly and her eyes alternately narrowed and widened. It wasn’t hard to guess what was happening. She was struggling to hold on to her dreamy joy, but the pull of reality was too strong. He watched helplessly as panic crept into her expression. One moment she was a sleeping princess. The next, terrified tigress. Crap.
She was going to bolt. He could see it in every line of her body. He had a second, maybe two, before she leaped out of bed and ran out of his life forever.
“Oh, no…” she whispered.
He pounced. It wasn’t so much a plan as an event that his body did while his brain scrambled to catch up. But before either of them realized it, he had flattened her on her back, her wrists were pinned by his hands, and her legs were trapped by his own. And that happy dance under his skin relocated to his dick…which was really happy to be pressed hot and hard against her belly.
She gasped, and his mouth scrambled to catch up to the rest of him. “Don’t freak, Nicky.”
Her mouth was open, but no sound came out. Panic still tightened her features. So he consciously dropped his voice to its most soothing, most mesmerizing.
“Everything’s okay, Nicky. You’re safe. You’re safe with me.”
She swallowed and some of the horror receded from her eyes. “Are you trying to hypnotize me again?” she asked. Her voice came out weak, but it sounded like an attempt at a joke. That was progress.
He matched it with his own weak attempt at a smile. “I just didn’t want you screaming.”
She swallowed. “Not screaming here.”
No, she wasn’t. But she also wasn’t looking calm or relaxed. In fact, if he had to bet, she was already planning her escape route. “Please don’t run, Nicky. I’d like to talk.”
“No promises. I’m feeling pretty freaked right now,” she said with a shrug. But that brought his groin in intimate contact with hers. And given that they were both naked, she abruptly froze. Unfortunately, he wasn’t so controlled. He pushed harder against her without intending to while pleasure temporarily overrode his brain.
“Jimmy…” she breathed.
Swear to god, he couldn’t tell if that was hunger or a warning. His brain just wasn’t working.
“Jimmy,” she repeated. “You don’t have a condom on. I’m not on the pill. I could get pregnant.”
It was a measure of how far gone he was that the idea of her carrying his child wasn’t the least bit of a deterrent.
“You said I was safe with you, Jimmy. I don’t want to get pregnant right now. Jimmy—”
“I know! I know! I’m getting off.”
Her eyes widened, and he almost laughed despite the situation.
“Not getting off that way. I’m going to get off you. Just don’t run, okay? I know you’re mentally halfway down the block…” He glanced at her guarded expression. “Or across the world from me, but I’d really just like to talk to you. Please don’t run.”
“I won’t,” she said, but they both knew it was a lie, because she flushed. “At least not right away.” She gave him a rueful look. “I’m trying to be honest here. I’m…uh…really freaked right now.”
“I understand.” And he did. He just hoped they could get past the panic. “I’m getting off now.”
He waited a moment, mostly to get his rampaging testosterone under control. He really, really wanted her. And she was right there. But he managed to hog-tie his inner Neanderthal, and rolled off of her. He landed on his back with a groan. Lord, he did not like being chivalrous in the morning. But Nicky was too important for him to give in to his baser instincts. And as he lay there, he heard her climb out of bed.
“Nicky—”
“I’m just going to the bathroom. I’m not running. I’m just…the bathroom.” He heard her go in there and quietly shut the door.
She took a long time in there. Plenty of time for him to figure out what to say to her. But he still hadn’t a clue by the time she finally emerged, her face pale and freshly scrubbed, so his only thought was to go for honesty.
“We had fun last night, Nicky. You had fun! Forget how you think you ought to feel. Forget Ms. Uptight Executive Nicky. Just be yourself for a moment, without the burden of what you ought to think and ought to do. We’re two consenting adults and there’s no reason to bolt.”
He saw her struggle with her answer. She had wrapped herself in his bathrobe, which was two sizes too large for her, but it still didn’t hide the clench in her muscles. He’d managed to pull on his sweatpants, and sat on the bed staring at her in a weird echo of yesterday morning.
“Why?” She said the word so softly that he almost didn’t hear it. But he did, and moreover, he knew what she was asking. Why did she enjoy something she clearly thought was one step away from depraved?
“That’s what I wanted to ask you. You liked being tied up, didn’t you?”
She swallowed, then she dipped her chin. Again, the motion was so tiny, he might have missed it, but he was watching very closely.
“You liked being dominated. You liked calling me master.”
Again the slight dip of her chin. Then she abruptly shut her eyes tight. “But I don’t,” she whispered. “I like being strong. I am strong.”
“Of course you are. And maybe that’s the answer. Maybe you like not being strong every once in a while.”
Her eyes opened again, and for the first time this morning he could see her thinking, really thinking without fear. Then she said something that was completely and totally unexpected.
“I never appreciated you in high school,” she said. “You were that nice geek. I knew you liked me, but…well, I didn’t realize how rare that is.”
He leaned forward onto his knees. “Rare that someone liked you?”
“Rare that someone is nice. Kind. Considerate. Helpful without pushing. Nice.”
He sighed. Great. He was her lap dog. He knew that wasn’t exactly what she meant. She was trying to give him a compliment, to express regret for how she’d treated him in high school. He understood that, but he wasn’t interested in before. He wanted to know about now. How did she see him now? He wanted to be a man to her, not a Saint Bernard.
“Thank you for the compliment,” he managed to force out. “But…” But what? He didn’t know what to say, so he rubbed his hand over his face. “Look, I can’t think. I haven’t had any coffee, and I need a shower.”
She nodded. “Coffee. Shower. Sounds like heaven.” Then she flashed him a brief smile. “Especially if I get a chocolate chip scone.” She bit her lip. “My treat, Jim. You shower, I’ll grab breakfast. Then we can talk, okay? I promise.”
He nodded, wondering if he dared trust her at her word. He gave it even odds that her fears would take over the minute she left the house. “You want to eat here or at a neutral café?”
It took her a moment to answer, but in the end, she shook her head. “Do you have a pair of sweats I could borrow?”
“Yeah. It’ll be big on you, but—”
“It’ll be fine. Thanks. I’ll get breakfast and then come back here. I swear.”
She meant it. He could see it in the stiff set to her shoulders. So he grabbed her a set of sweats from his drawers and handed them mutely to her.
She took the clothes, her eyes huge but her expression still determined. God, she looked as if she was about to face a firing squad.
“Nicky—”
“How do you take your coffee?”
“Raspberry latte with whip,” he answered, because what else could he say?
“Half hour. I promise,” she said.
He touched her chin, lifting her face so that she had no choice but to look at him. He didn’t know why he did it. She was already looking at him. But he needed to touch her skin, to stroke her cheek, to do everything he could to brand her with his caress.
A thousand words rushed to his mouth, all fighting to get out. But none of them were right. Nothing seemed to fit. And his body wasn’t listening to his mind anyway. He swooped down and took her in a kiss. He thrust himself into her mouth, he stroked her and owned her as best as he could.
She opened to him on a gasp, but within a moment she was stretching forward, arching her back to deepen their kiss. Heaven.
But then he had to end it. “Half hour, Nicky. Or I’m going to start looking for you. I’m trying to give you space, but part of me just wants to tie you up and keep you with me forever. I’m sorry if that’s too blunt, but it’s the truth.”
She stared at him, and her expression turned rueful. “I know. Thank you for being honest.” Then she turned and ducked back into the bathroom to dress. Five minutes later, she was out the front door.