DARK COFFEE SPILLED out of the latte, splattering on Nicky’s hand and leg. She grimaced at the dark blotch on the sweatpants—Jim’s sweatpants—and tried to steady her arm, her breath, her entire life. But all three refused to cooperate, so she set down the cup on the porch rather than spill it completely.
The front door opened, and there he stood. His hair was wet, his torso gloriously naked and his jeans slung low. “Need a hand?” he asked. Then before she could answer, he came forward on bare feet to grab the latte off the porch then lift the white bag from her other hand.
He was watching her closely, and she could all but read his thoughts off his forehead. He was wondering if she was still going to skip out, find some excuse—like the ton of work she really had to get done—and disappear. Part of her wanted to. Part of her was terrified to examine the reasons behind her bizarre desires last night. But this was Jimmy Ray. He wasn’t judging her. He wasn’t going to hurt her. If she were going to examine the reasons behind her kinky passions with anyone, she would choose Jimmy Ray. Which meant she had to suppress her fears and walk in his front door. In a minute…
“My mug is in the car,” she said, gesturing behind her. “I’m just going to grab it.” She did, then quickly returned to the front stoop. Then she just stood there on his porch because he was blocking the way. “Uh, can I come in?”
He flushed a mottled red and quickly stepped aside. “Um, yeah. Sorry. I was just thinking I like the way you look in my sweats.”
She grimaced. “My hair’s a mess, your clothes are like two sizes too large and—”
“And I like the way you look in my sweats,” he repeated.
She felt her face heat. “Um, thanks.”
He held open the door for her and gestured her inside. She went in carefully, making sure she didn’t touch him as she passed. But she was excruciatingly aware of his body and his breath. Jeez, even his heat seemed to envelop her, and she both loved and hated the way her skin tingled in response.
He followed a step behind her, closing the door as she moved. “The kitchen’s right through—”
“I remember,” she said. And she did. She remembered walking blindfolded from his television room through what was most likely his kitchen. Sure enough, the kitchen was right where she expected. What she didn’t expect was the cheery yellow paint and the white appliances all drenched in sunlight from the backyard. The room was delightful.
“Nice,” she said, looking all around.
“Yeah. It’s the real reason I bought the house.”
She turned to look at him. “I never would have guessed that.”
“Guys can’t like sunlight?”
“Of course they can. I just thought you would have looked at the neighborhood, evaluated the structure of the house and resale potential, balanced that with the asking price and then…”
“Made a sound investment choice?”
She nodded. “But maybe that’s more me than you.”
He shrugged and took a long pull on his latte. “Well, okay, so maybe I didn’t realize I liked this much sun in the morning until I walked through it one bright 7:00 a.m. But I do, and I did…and this house had a huge garage and the TV room. Plus it is a good neighborhood and a good investment. So…”
“So you bought it.” She nodded. “Good choice. Way better than my tiny condo downtown.”
“Sounds like a good location.”
She settled down at the round breakfast table. “It’s a good investment,” she answered honestly.
“But not a home with a big backyard and a sunlit kitchen,” he said softly.
Her gaze jerked to him in surprise. He had hit it right on the head. As a single woman, she’d felt she needed to be smart about her investments, and what was a condo but an investment? Unfortunately, that had been her primary consideration, so she’d always felt like she was living in a bank account rather than in a house.
She looked away from him to gaze out at the backyard. “I forget that you’re smarter than the average bear.”
He settled down in a chair across from her. “Damned by faint praise.”
“No,” she murmured. “You’re the smartest person I know. It intimidates me. You always have.”
He released a snort of laughter, but immediately sobered at her look. “Sorry,” he said. “It’s just funny, that’s all. Me intimidating you. I was scared to death every time I had to talk to you. Athlete, class president, girl most likely to—”
“Get what she wants, when she wants it, exactly how it must be for maximum yield. Yeah, I remember.” She spoke the words dryly. Her high school epitaph had always haunted her.
“It’s not a bad thing to know what you want,” he said softly.
“What I want, how I want it,” she repeated. “Sound like a self-centered bitch to you?”
He propped his chin on his hand. “Issues with high school much?”
“Says the geek who laughed when I said his intelligence was intimidating.”
He sighed. “Touché.”
She leaned back in her chair and looked directly at him, feeling almost as if she were back in a boardroom. It made her want to tap her pumps on the tile just to show she was in control. It was a lie, of course. She was way out of control, but she allowed herself two taps on the floor. One. Two.
“So to summarize,” she said in her most impressive tone. “Here’s what I’m afraid of. You’re the high school geek who always wanted to do the class president. You see me as the high school queen bee who needed to be taken down a peg. Mission accomplished. You’ve done me. I’m embarrassed.” Her cheeks flushed hot, but she kept doggedly on. “Do you check off this and move on to the rest of your life?”
He leaned back in his chair, folded his arms across his chest and tapped his foot twice. In short, he echoed everything she’d just done, only he added an arch of his eyebrow. Without saying a word, he showed her exactly how not intimidated he was.
She flushed hotter and looked away.
“Here’s what I’m afraid of. Something scared you, some time in your life. Maybe some guy, I don’t know. But it was big enough that you suppressed everything that makes you passionate and whole. You’ve spent all your life since climbing the corporate ladder but it’s making you nuts.”
She shivered, knowing everything he said was true though not exactly in the way he thought. “Why does that scare you?” she asked when she could finally find her voice.
“Because I don’t know when your fears are going to overwhelm you and you’ll bolt.” He reached across the table to touch her hand. “I don’t want you to bolt. I had a great time last night, and I thought you did, too.”
She had. She did. And worse, she couldn’t stop herself from wanting to do it again. But the mortification of it all, this terrible morning after…It just wasn’t worth it. Or so she kept telling herself.
“So what happened, Nicky? What happened to the girl you used to be?”
“The girl most likely to run the country in twenty years?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Her.”
She shrugged, wondering if she could explain. “Life happened. Life isn’t high school. I thought it would be so easy, but then I couldn’t get a good job out of college. So I borrowed a ton of money and went to graduate school, which was harder than I ever thought possible. And then I had to get a job to pay all that debt. I work harder and harder, but the goal keeps slipping further away.”
“And what’s that goal?”
She played with the texture of her disposable cup, rubbing her thumb up and down the smooth paper. Below the table, her left hand was gripping her thigh so tight, she was sure she was giving herself bruises.
“I don’t know. Success. Happiness. The usual.”
He was silent for a long time, just watching her rub the edge of the cup. He took another pull from his latte. So did she. And then, finally, he spoke. “Let’s go on a date. A simple, get-to-know-you-better date.”
She arched a brow at him. “You sure you’re not looking for a sequel of last night?” It was a throwaway question. He was a guy, after all. But he also wanted the normal date stuff. She knew he was sincere in what he said. She just didn’t know how she felt about it.
Surprisingly enough, he didn’t answer with an equally throwaway response. His eyes grew troubled. “I’m still processing last night,” he finally said. “I…uh…I don’t know that I can top it.”
She blinked. “Performance fears?”
He released a short laugh. “You’re a whole lot of woman, Nicky. Any man who isn’t a little bit anxious is just deluding himself.”
She stared at him, seeing the slight flush in his cheeks until he ducked his head down to drink his latte. Then she started to laugh. A real, deep down belly laugh. She had no idea why she thought this was funny, but the more she tried to speak, the more funny it became. Oh god, it felt good to laugh.
It took a moment for her to stop laughing. Long moments when he watched her, his cheeks bright red, but his eyes slowly lightening with humor. In the end, she finally was able to gasp out an explanation of sorts.
“I guess I’m not the only one still stuck in high school, huh?” She took another breath to steady her nerves. “You sit there bare chested, showing off your sculpted abs. You live in a house four times the size of my condo, have a net worth well beyond anything I could earn in a decade, and just gave me the fantasy night of the millennium. I think you can dispense with the I’m-a-clueless-geek persona. Nobody’s buying it, least of all me.”
He leaned forward, his expression fierce. “So I’m not the only smart one in the room.”
She smiled, but the tension in her belly coiled even higher. He wanted to see her on a different level—a personal level—and that scared her. “I gave up on men a long time ago, Jimmy. I…uh…made some bad choices in grad school.”
His eyes darkened. “Were you hurt?”
She shook her head. “Not physically. Emotionally wrecked.” And financially, but she wasn’t ready to confess that. No way was she going to admit that her boyfriend, the man she thought she was going to marry, had taken her for every dime she had. “I’m just afraid to try again.”
“I get that,” he said softly. “I’ve dated a few really bad choices. Nothing seriously, though, because I’ve spent my adult life working nonstop. Or hiding in my garage.” He shrugged. “Girls terrified me in high school and were too time-consuming in adulthood.” He leaned forward. “But you’re worth the effort, Nicky. You’re worth the risk.”
She swallowed, stunned by how his statement slid down her spine right into her soul. He made her feel so damned special. But she was still afraid. And still crazy busy at work. “I’m just not sure this is a good time,” she hedged.
He touched her hand. A light stroke, but she felt it as if he’d touched her entire body. Which, of course, he had last night. “Mindless sex with you is great, Nicky. It’s beyond great. But I want more from you. Are you woman enough to give it to me?”
“You challenging me?” she asked, her brow arched.
“Will that get you to say yes?” he shot back.
She bit her lip. Could she do it? Could she take the risk on him? It was so hard to do. What if he got to know her and realized she was just a midlevel manager with midlevel intelligence?
“Nicky,” he huffed. “It’s not acquisitions and mergers. It’s just a date.”
She shook her head, the words coming out without thought. “I like Jimmy. I like what I remember of him. He was safe and funny and he liked me. I don’t want to lose him.”
“Jimmy’s still here. But I’m more than just Jimmy. I’m a grown man. Don’t you think you deserve a grown-up?”
And if the grown-up didn’t like the woman? The real woman? The question pounded in her head, the insecurity gripping her like a vise. “The last time I felt successful, felt like I could handle anything, was back in high school. After that…” She winced. “Well, after that I discovered that the real world is way harder than I ever imagined.”
“You’re up to it, Nicky.”
She wasn’t sure. It was ridiculous. She was an accom plished woman, successful at her job, had the respect of her peers. And yet she was still a mass of insecurities.
He touched her cheek. His thumb caressed a long stroke down her jaw line, then he gripped her chin, drawing her forward. She didn’t go far. He was the one who leaned across the table to stroke his mouth over hers. He teased the seam of her lips, then pushed inside the moment she relaxed.
Bit by bit her insecurities faded to nothing. The play of his tongue brushed them away as well as good portions of her will. In this arena, he was powerful beyond belief, and she willingly surrendered to him.
Within moments, she was arching toward him and wrapping her hand around his head. If he wanted it, she would lie down right there and let him slide right in.
“Nicky,” he rasped as he broke the kiss. “Nicky, just say yes.”
“Yes,” she answered.
He stroked his tongue along her neck, and she purred in response. “Yes to sex? Or yes to a date?”
“Just yes,” she said.
He shifted his hands so that they cupped the back of her head and pulled back to look into her eyes. “Nicky…”
“Is there a condom in your pocket?” she asked.
He nodded.
“Once more,” she said. “One more mindless sex encounter right here, right now. And then tomorrow, we’ll meet like dates. We’ll do the awkward who are you, what have you been doing since high school, stupid date thing. But for right now…” She was already reaching to unzip his jeans.
“Deal,” he said.
It took him a moment. There was awkward fumbling for them both. But within a minute, she was settled on top of his kitchen table, and he was stepping between her thighs. He slid in slowly, a groan of delight on his lips.
At his urging, she wrapped her legs around him then arched her back, planting her palms behind her for support. That gave him full access to her breasts, which he stroked and manipulated just as she liked.
God, he was big. She liked the way he stretched her all the way to her spine. She liked that he was so thick that she felt every ridge during his slow withdrawal and abrupt thrust. The one thing that she didn’t like was that he looked at her. His eyes held her gaze as he thrust into her. No matter what his hands did, no matter that the table was moving in time to his beat, no matter that he slipped his thumb between them and brought her quickly to a writhing scream. He held her gaze during the whole thing. He held her. He saw her.
Then he abruptly gripped her hips and slammed hard into her. She thought he would close his eyes and shudder as all men did, but he didn’t. He still held her gaze and she thought he might have even whispered her name.
Either way, they reached their peaks staring eye to eye with one another. It added a whole new dimension that was both terrifying and exciting. His eyes, his expression, his entire presence seemed to fill her head with him, just him. So much so that his orgasm triggered another for her. And then one more until she had to look away because it was too much.
Too much pleasure. Too much intimacy.
She felt him lean forward, his chest still heaving as he gasped for air. She was too weak to support him, but he didn’t collapse on top of her. He just let his forehead drop against hers as they both recovered.
“I’ll pick you up at seven,” he said. She smelled raspberry and coffee on his breath, and inhaled just to experience it again.
“You want more?” she asked. Wasn’t he afraid? Didn’t he know she was already at her limit?
“Everything, Nicky. I want to know everything about you.”
It might have sounded creepy, but she shivered in excitement. More. He wanted more of her.
“Don’t you?” he asked.
Yes. No. “Yes,” she whispered. He made her feel brave enough to do anything. Or perhaps when she was so filled with him, she couldn’t think of her fears. She barely thought at all.
“Wear something nice,” he said. He had recovered enough that he was beginning to kiss her face. Her nose first, then her cheeks. Finally her lips.
She answered in kind, and she felt his cock pulse deep inside her. She smiled and tightened her internal muscles. He groaned in response.
“All woman,” he said against her lips. “I don’t know that I can keep up.”
This time she was the one who sought his eyes, who touched his cheek until she got his entire attention. “The moment you stop, I’ll run.”
He blinked. “Why?”
“I just do. I’ll start thinking and then I’m out the door.” She sighed. “Work to do. A portfolio to build.”
He took a deep breath. His chest expanded against hers, his heat enveloped her, and his arms came around to support her from behind. He surrounded her and his grip kept tightening. He pulled her against him until she was nearly crushed. But she didn’t fight him. She loved it.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he said.
“Okay,” she returned. When he said it like that, she agreed without thought.
But then her watch beeped. She had work to do, reports to compile, layoffs to avoid. He grunted in disgust, but then his phone rang and so he sighed and pulled himself out of her.
She let him go. She had no choice what with her own work intruding. Ten minutes later, she was dressed again and he was cursing into his phone. She was heading for the door when he dropped his cell to his chest.
“Seven o’clock,” he said. “Wear something nice.”
She nodded. Then she shook her head. “Tomorrow night. I can’t tonight.”
He grimaced, but then they both heard someone calling to him from the other end of his cell. He winced. “Fine. Tomorrow night.”
She smiled and opened his front door.
“I mean it, Nicky. I’m not letting you change your mind.”
“Of course not,” she answered blithely, but they both knew she was halfway out the door—both literally and figuratively. He wanted too much from her. She didn’t have—
He grabbed hold of her arm. She didn’t even know he’d moved, but he was there, whipping her around to face him.
“Do you know what the difference is between Jimmy and Jim?”
She shook her head. Her heart was beating so hard in her throat she didn’t think she could get a word out.
“Jimmy wanted you from the first day of freshman year, but he didn’t have the balls to go for it. To go for you.”
She looked at him, her eyes narrowing as she saw the strength in the man that was never in the boy. “And Jim?” she prompted.
“Jim will pick you up tomorrow at seven. Jim isn’t giving up without a fight.”
The resolve in his words sizzled over her skin. It promised things to her on a subconscious level. It told her that he was a man of his word. He would find her. He would claim her. And it would be the most amazing ride of her life.
God, she wanted that. Yes, she wanted him to claim her, but she also wanted his absolute confidence. For him, just saying something made it true. Maybe that was why he was such a good hypnotist. There was power in his voice, and if he said something, the universe scrambled to comply.
“Jim better be sure he knows what he wants,” she returned. If he got her to open up to him, then changed his mind, it would kill her. If she gave him her time and her heart and he found her not worthy, she doubted she would recover. She didn’t have the strength for that on top of everything else.
“You’re safe with me,” he said softly.
Was she? When he said it like that, she almost believed him. “Guess we’ll find out tomorrow.”
“Guess so.” He stood in the doorway and watched her all the way down the street.