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HOW TO DISAPPEAR AND NEVER BE FOUND

The best time to prepare an escape is before the trouble starts. And what might this trouble be? It could be anything from a PI or an impending court case to some personal enemy who’s sworn to kill you. So then, while the skies are still sunny and there’s peace in the valley, prepare for the time when you might have to flee. The following are your three top priorities:

1. Have a detailed plan.

2. Have a valid passport.

3. Have cash on hand.

There are varying levels of disappearances. Let’s start with the most common one.

LEVEL ONE ESCAPE

This is most often used when a threat comes suddenly and without warning, just as lightning may strike from a clear blue sky. Often one must flee within twenty-four hours, and sometimes in twenty-four minutes.

Let’s say you are a young woman who’s just learned that your ex-lover is on the way to your city, and he’s carrying handcuffs and duct tape. He has illegal access to records normally confined to the police and the government so the time to run is now! Remove the battery from your cell phone or else wrap it tightly in aluminum foil. Empty your bank account and/or borrow from your friends. From this point on, do not use a credit or a debit card. Make no further withdrawals from an ATM.

Gas up the car and flee the city and if possible the state. Obey all traffic signs and stay within the speed limit. Despite the fact your ex-lover has a friend in law enforcement, it is extremely unlikely that the friend would dare put out an all-points bulletin (or BOLO, which stands for “be on the lookout”), because it could cost him his job.

From this point on, use only the U.S. mail to communicate with your family and friends. Avoid all major hotel and motel chains because they demand ID and enter it in their computer databases. Instead, choose a small mom-and-pop motel where they will accept whatever name you give them as long as you pay cash. Or, better yet, stay with an old friend who is unknown to your stalker, or rent a room from a private party, using another name. (Use your “new” name.) Then use a pay phone to call someone back home who can tell you what’s going on. Only when the coast is clear will you return.

LEVEL TWO ESCAPE

This is when you need to vanish for a few years, perhaps until some certain time period has run out. If you can afford to do so, get out of the country. One of my readers had to make a run in 2008. He fled to Thailand and has been happy there. However, that’s a long and expensive trip. My own preference would be Mexico.

Take a bus or (preferably) fly to Guadalajara, Jalisco, then catch a taxi or a bus up to the Lake Chapala area. Stay for a few days at a bed-and-breakfast in Chapala or Ajijic, then look for a condo. You can rent a two-bedroom condo in a gated community for about $35 a day or $750 for a month, no questions asked.

Why Lake Chapala? One reason is the climate—one of the world’s best. Another is that violent crime is low in that area. English is spoken in most business places, unlike some other parts of Mexico. Best of all, you’ll not stand out, because you’ll be among thousands of Americans and Canadians who live all along the north shore of the lake.

LEVEL THREE ESCAPE

This is when you plan to cut all ties and apparently vanish from the face of the earth. It is extremely difficult, often impossible, and resorted to only when all other options have been exhausted. Before you go, pick up a copy of Frank Ahearn’s book How to Disappear, which deals primarily with extreme situations.

Even Frank, however, has this to say about a permanent disappearance: “… you can no longer just pick up the phone and call your family. You’ll lose touch with a lot of people you care about. You’re going to get lonely.”

If you can afford it, leave the country. Don’t try to hide in Western Europe or in any police state. A good choice might be one of the tax havens in order to minimize any requirements for filing a tax form. A court name change and new identity documents from another country will enable you to stay out of the international databases at airports, seaports, train stations, etc.

However, no matter how much money you have, or in what part of the earth you live, if someone with unlimited funds (such as a government) is after you, you will sooner or later be caught. This is because all it takes is one single mistake to blow your cover. Often this is because you send an e-mail, a letter, or make a call to a friend, relative, or associate. As far as sneaking back to your home country for a quick visit, you may as well plan to be caught.

LEAVE THE KIDS BEHIND

This is a tough decision, but you have to think of what’s best for the children. Once the authorities know children are involved, they will be highly motivated to bring you down (think Amber Alert! and pictures on the nightly TV news). This is especially the case if you are a man, because you may be accused of child abuse.

In any case, whether you’re a man or a woman, trying to escape from a criminally abusive person is fraught with danger. For that reason, document the abuses well beforehand and then flee to a shelter with your children. Once there, make sure that a service worker gets whatever documentation you have, before you move on. The fact that you took yourself to a children’s shelter or to a battered-woman’s shelter will help establish your innocence in any allegations that surface later.

SLOW DOWN ANY PURSUIT

Before you run from an abusive ex-husband or ex-wife, plan your escape in advance. Confiscate any firearms they may have and get rid of them. Clean out your bank accounts, scoop up anything small that you can later sell on Craigslist or use to get a loan at a pawn shop. Disable your ex’s vehicle, but not by setting it on fire or crashing it somewhere. Do something that will not be obvious, such as pouring long-grain rice into the radiator.

Be sure not to do that in a garage, however, as the green fluid will slop out on the floor and give away the plan. So if that won’t work, then take off the oil filler cap and pour in as much sand as you can. (Don’t bother with sugar in the gas tank, however. That’s been debunked on Snopes, MythBusters, and Tom and Ray’s Car Talk.)

On the other hand, if giving away your flight does not matter, then just cut every cable you can find under the hood. Or, drop a wrench across the battery terminals and jump back. Or, remove the valve caps to flatten all four tires. Or if you’re really mad, all of the above.

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

We are about to move to another state. Is it safe to use a mover such as Allied, Bekins, or Mayflower?

Not if you value your privacy. Most—if not all—interstate moving services keep computer records and PIs know and use this. Keep in mind that even though you give the movers a different name, the computers can be searched by address as well. If, therefore, an investigator tracks down your present address and discovers you have moved, he will have an accomplice check the records to see what name you used, and the destination street address.

When we move, I pay a driver to rent a Penske rental truck in his name. I then look under “Movers” in the Yellow Pages. There is usually a subsection called “Student Movers,” self-employed husky young men that load and unload trucks for an hourly wage. They load the truck, the driver drives it, and at the destination another set of student movers unload it. My driver then either drops off the truck in a nearby city, or drives it back to the city of origin. Penske, as well as other major truck rental companies, puts everything into their computers, but what do they have? Certainly not my name, and thus not my previous street address nor the new one. Incidentally, you will often save a bundle of money with this method.

How might a PI locate my home address despite taking all precautions?

Here’s the PI’s challenge—let’s call him Oscar. All Oscar has, so far, is your name (let’s say it’s John Aemisegger), your religion (Mormon), the cell phone number you used just once to call a toll-free number, an e-mail address picked up when you contacted a known associate, and a strong suspicion that you live in the Seattle, Washington, area. Oh—and that as a hobby you collect prewar Martin guitars. The PI’s goal is to turn over your true home address to his multimillionaire client in Chicago. Oscar doesn’t know the purpose of this search, and doesn’t care. The money is good.

You have just moved with your wife and children from your former home in Dallas to the Seattle suburb of Medina. You’ve used an untraceable nominee to rent your home, connect the utilities, sign up for the Internet with CLEAR (using a ghost address), and open bank accounts with Columbia and HomeStreet Banks.

Your cell phone   Since the PI has your cell phone number, all he has to do is have a confederate in the wireless service provider ping your phone at night. This will reveal your location.

Your best protection will be to dump your present cell phone and either pick up a Tracfone, or have a nominee get you a smartphone in his name. This new number you should give out only to trusted associates and family members. Either that or always remove the battery or wrap your smartphone in aluminum foil before you take it home.

Your kids’ school   There’s no chance of privacy in the public school system. All Oscar has to do is bribe someone in the Seattle area schools to get the home addresses for any students named Aemisegger. There are only two remedies for this danger. Either homeschool your kids or put them in a private school willing to guarantee their privacy.

Your religion   This takes a number of calls to Salt Lake City, Utah, but eventually Oscar contacts a fellow PI who is a member of the Latter-day Saints (LDS). Joey spins an intricate story about how he wants to surprise his old friend John Aemisegger by showing up at whatever meetinghouse he attends. Once he knows the address, he will show up on Sunday, ask someone to point you out, and then follow you home.

To avoid this scenario, at the very least, attend a ward in a nearby suburb and under no condition reveal your true home address.

News flash February 2012: I just now heard from our old friends Ben and Ivy, who had been living and working in Baja California Sur, Mexico. Six months ago, Ben stopped at a stop sign in Cabo San Lucas when a small truck careened around the corner and struck Ben’s SUV. The driver was ejected and the truck landed on top of the driver, killing him instantly. Ben was heartbroken, but the police cleared him (after photographing him and taking his prints) since the accident was through no fault of his own. Nevertheless, Ben and Ivy moved up to Jocotepec, Jalisco, to start a new business and dim the memories of the tragic accident in Cabo.

Then, on a Sunday just eight days ago, two brothers of the dead truck driver showed up at the Iglesia de Jocotepec, flashing a copy of the photo of Ben that had been taken by the police, and asking if anyone knew him! Without going into details, Ben and Ivy have already moved to a small village in southern Mexico. Other than me (they know I can keep a secret), they have told no one their new address. Not their friends, not their siblings, and not even their parents.

“Ivy and I never in our wildest dreams,” says Ben, referring to the accident, “imagined that in just one split second our lives could be so drastically changed!”

Do you suppose that something similar could some day happen to you?

Your hobby   Oscar loves targets who have a hobby. In this case he pulls up a picture of a prewar Martin guitar and puts an ad on the Seattle Craigslist:

“Emergency financial disaster forces me to sell my grandfather’s 1940 Martin D-45.

Serious inquiries only.

Will sell for 85% of appraisal if sold within five days.

Terms, cash.

Will meet only at a public location such as the parking area of a bank.

Three days later, you answer the ad, using the name Raymond. A meeting is set up at the parking lot of a Key Bank in Bellevue. Oscar says he’ll be driving a light-blue late-model Jaguar, and what will you be driving?

“A black Lexus hybrid.”

Oscar, in his usual nondescript Camry, sees your Lexus come into the parking lot. He patiently waits for you to give up and return home. When you finally do, Oscar follows you home.

This may be your greatest danger—that you or even a relative or friend coming to see you will be followed. But is it likely? No. The expense of such a campaign would be mind-boggling and the chances of a private investigator having an unlimited expense account are minimal to none.