Keroys rose, and Jinaari followed suit. Thia sat on the edge of the bed, partially hidden by the curtains. “There is nothing said between us I would keep from you, Daughter. Nor do I restrict your friend from divulging it. I trust you to do what is right, as I always have.”
Jinaari stayed near the chairs as Keroys walked to her. The God placed his hands on her shoulders. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired,” Thia replied. “Annoyed, scared, and not sure why you took away my ability to heal myself.” Her voice was soft and made Jinaari’s chest hurt from the despair he heard.
“If you heard our conversation, you know that was not my doing. Your body is waging a war, and I cannot determine the foe. If I cannot find a cure, I’m certain your companions will. This will not be forever your fate. You have a long road to travel, Daughter. Your trust in your companions is well-placed, no matter how many questions you have about their motives. Not every truth comes to us when we want it. Remember that and stay strong. I know your soul, Thia, and I am proud of who you are.” Within a blink of an eye, Keroys disappeared.
An uncomfortable silence descended on the room. She’s waiting for me to say something. “How much did you hear?”
“How long have you known I was a descendant of Lolc Aon?” Her voice was tired, but strong.
“Less than an hour. Adam came back and told me shortly before Keroys invited me in here.” He walked closer and leaned against the wall across from her. “I wasn’t going to keep it from you, Thia. I told Adam we needed to tell you. It was going to be easier coming from us than it would from someone else. The lineage was written down, a straight line between her and your mother. If Adam could find it, make the connection, others could too. And would, eventually.”
She nodded, saying, “Who else knows?”
“Me, Adam, probably Caelynn by now. Keroys.” He looked at her. “Garret knows you’re sick, but I don’t know if Keroys will tell him about the connection with Lolc Aon.”
Her head snapped up and she stared at him, her lilac eyes angry. “You told Garret about me being sick?”
“Yes. He’s my God, Thia. I don’t have any reason to think yours would respond to a prayer from me. I knew Garret might, and he did. I asked him if what Corse said was true, but he didn’t give me a straight answer. He only reminded me that demons always lied.”
She looked away and sighed. “What did Keroys say before I let you know I was awake? His voice was too low for me to hear.” Her head snapped up and she stared at him. “He said he didn’t put any restrictions on what you could and couldn’t tell me, so don’t even think about lying to me.”
He took a deep breath, trying not to react to her words. “He told me that, if we don’t find out what’s wrong with you and get rid of it, your magic will be the only thing that sustains you. That you’ll get to a point where you’ll have to draw on it simply to live. Then he reminded me that your stores aren’t bottomless.” Jinaari kept his focus on her face, watching her expression shift as the reality settled into her mind.
“I’m going to die?” The anger had left her voice, replaced with fear.
Pushing away from the wall, he knelt in front of her. Taking her hands in his, he looked into her eyes. “I swear to you, Thia Bransdottir, I will not let you leave this world without a fight. This is my vow. Whatever it takes to find a cure, rid you of whatever this is, I will do it. I will see it happen. Tomorrow, we’ll head south. Keroys thinks the warmer climate will help, and we promised to get Gnat home. As we travel, we’ll track down every library, healer, mage, or wise woman we can find. Someone will know what’s wrong, and how to cure this.”
“Thank you,” she muttered.
“Can I ask you a question? There’s something I’m wondering about and I’d like to get an answer before we let Adam and Caelynn join us.”
Her eyes grew wide. “What is it?”
He smiled slightly. “Before the fight, I promised you I’d let you yell at me as much as you wanted to for not telling you that you’d unlock Corse’s cell.”
“Do I get to do it now?” Her voice was playful, giving him hope the flash of anger she’d shown minutes ago was gone.
“No, because you said, ‘one condition.’ You never told me what that was.” She lowered her head and chuckled. Good, he thought, she’s herself again.
Raising her head, she met his gaze and smiled. “I think the condition was that you’d tell me everything Garret said about me. I had some strange thought that he didn’t explicitly tell you to keep me in the dark, that you said that to cover your ass.”
Rising, he let go of her hands. “Do you still need to know?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I know I’ve said things lately that make it sound like I don’t trust you, Jinaari. I do.” She sighed, leaning forward. The sparks danced around her fingertips. “I don’t know why I said those things. It was as if part of me went to sleep and another part woke up. It keeps happening, and I can’t control it. I don’t even know it’s happening until the words are out of my mouth.” He saw a single tear fall onto her arm, forming a small, damp patch on the fabric of her tunic.
Jinaari closed his eyes briefly at the fear in her voice. “Thia,” he said quietly, “there is nothing you could say to me that would make me break the vow I just made. Or any that I’ve made before now. I know who you are, the woman that the rest of the world doesn’t get to see. I can tell when it’s you speaking, and when it’s . . . whatever this is. Caelynn and Adam will learn fast enough. I’ll have one of them talk to Gnat, tell him you’re sick. He does need to guide us to his home. I don’t need him thinking you’re mad at him.”
Thia flopped back onto the bed, her pale blonde hair fanning out beneath her. “Gnat . . . I haven’t said anything bad to him, have I?”
“Not that I’m aware of.” Someone knocked softly on the door, and he turned his head to the sound. “Who is it?”
“It’s me,” Adam said. “Caelynn and I found something you should see.”
Jinaari glanced at Thia. She stood at the end of the bed, hanging onto a bed post. “She’s awake. Bring some food in with you.” Walking over, he placed one arm around her waist. “Don’t,” he said, “I’m going to help you sit down before they come in.” As he led her toward a chair, he kept his voice low. “How much they see will be up to you. I know you’re stubborn and don’t want to look weak. They won’t care anymore than I do, but what they know is up to you.” Easing her into a chair close to a brazier, he glanced at her hands. “Do you need your gloves?”
“No, I think I’ll leave the sparks dancing for a while. Who knows? Maybe they’ll give us a clue before my mind switches so you’re ready for it.”
“Good idea.” The door opened and he watched as Caelynn stepped inside. Adam followed, carrying a small tray with food on it. Gnat trailed behind him, carrying a long tube.
“Friend Thia is better now?” Gnat stopped, looking at her.
“I’m feeling fine right now, Gnat. Thank you for asking.”
“We’re going to need more chairs,” Adam said as he put the tray down on the low table. “Gnat, can you keep the door open while Caelynn and I get them?”
“Friend Jinaari hold this!” He thrust the tube at him. “Gnat help Magic Friend and Pretty Lady!”
Taking the item, Jinaari looked at Thia, shrugging his shoulders. He leaned it against the leg of the other chair, then picked up a bowl from the tray. Handing it to her, he said, “Eat. I’m not asking you; I’m telling you.”
She took it from him, looking at the contents. “Do I have to eat all of it?”
“No,” he said as he moved the chair and tube closer to hers. Sitting down, he continued, “Take your time, eat as much as you can. But make sure they see you eating.”
“You’re certainly looking better than the last time I saw you, Thia,” Adam said as he placed a chair down. Caelynn put hers down next to his. “How’s the leg?”
“It’s good,” Thia said. “Keroys healed what the monks couldn’t. I’ll be able to ride in the morning.”
“Speaking of that,” Adam looked around, pointing at the tube near Jinaari’s feet, “Hand that to me.”
Jinaari gave it to him. “What is it?”
“Mishar overheard something about us heading south and gave us a map. Gnat was able to show us where he lives.” The warlock opened one end and pulled out a large parchment. Unrolling it, he said, “Move the tray, Caelynn.” Once she cleared the table, he put the map down.
Jinaari looked it over, finding areas he knew well. “We’re here,” Adam pointed to a small symbol for Silas not far from Tanisal. “And Gnat . . .”
“Gnat live here!” the cobalus jabbed his finger enthusiastically at an area to the bottom of the map.
“In Taigh Forest? At the foot of Mathaireil?” Thia asked.
Gnat smiled, nodding vigorously. “Gnat has nice cave! Gnat show Friend Thia!”
“Okay,” Jinaari said, studying the map closer. “We know where. Gnat, where does your friend live? The one with Nyfe?”
“Furry Man not Gnat’s friend. Not like Friend Jinaari. Furry Man lives here.” He pointed to another part of the forest.
“It’ll take us half a day on a good day to get between the two,” Thia said.
“That doesn’t bother me. What does,” Jinaari said, “is getting from here to there. That’s going to take us a month, possibly two. Adam,” he looked up from the map, “have you ever been here?” He pointed to a town called Tavisholm.
Adam hesitated and looked at Caelynn. “I have,” he said after a pause. “So has Caelynn. Why?”
“If you transport us there, it’s going to save us time.”
“No,” Thia said.
He looked at her. “Why not? I’d rather not spend two months in a saddle if I can avoid it. You don’t need to be sleeping on the ground, either.”
She met his gaze. “But what if the one person who knows what’s wrong with me lives between here and Tavisholm? There’s plenty of small villages,” she waved her hand over the map, “along the way. If the map’s accurate, lots of farmland. Which means barns we could pay to sleep in, out of the weather, if there’s no town with an inn. Plus, given what Keroys told me, we’re going to need Adam’s stores. I don’t want him wasting them by transporting us.”
“What did Keroys tell you?” Caelynn’s voice shook.
Thia looked at him, nodding her head. Her hands trembled slightly. “Her magic is keeping whatever this illness is from getting worse, and that’s why she can’t heal herself. If we don’t figure out what’s wrong, and how to cure it, eventually all her stores will be used to keep her alive. As strong as she is, though, they’re not bottomless.”
Caelynn leapt from her chair and hugged Thia. “I won’t let that happen! We must find a way to keep you alive!”
“We’re going to. No one wants that to happen.” Jinaari waited as the bard sat back down, wiping tears off her face. “Thia’s right. We should start by going overland. But we need to say we’re on a quest for someone else, not her.”
“Why lie?” Thia asked. “If this gets as bad as Keroys thinks, people will know I’m sick.”
He turned to her. “We must hide it as long as we can. It’s one thing for our friend to be sick. Avoch would be thrown into chaos if they knew the Scepter was deathly ill.”
“Amara?” Adam suggested. “We could send some carefully worded messages to Elizabeth and Tomil, so they can keep up the illusion that Thia’s okay.”
Jinaari nodded. “A runner would take too long. They need to know before we leave here. I trust the monks; they won’t say a word about this, even amongst themselves.” He looked at Adam. “How are your stores?”
“I’m not full, but I can make a few more trips if it’s just me.”
“I’ll write the messages; we’ll both sign and seal them. You’re known in both Almair and Cirrain, no one would deny you access to either of them. Make sure you’re alone, give them the letters. If they have questions, answer them but leave out details of where this might go. No reason worrying them over something that won’t come to pass.”
“What if it does, Jinaari? My aunt should know . . .” Thia began to protest. He put one hand on hers, reassuring her.
“If Keroys wants to fill her in, he will. Elizabeth’s a politician, which is why you and I agreed she should wear the crown. Killing demons, defeating monsters, isn’t without risk. She knows this. The less we tell her, the easier it will be for her to show the world that she’s not worried.”
“What can I do?” Caelynn asked.
“Gnat help, too!”
“You two stay here. One of us needs to stay with Thia at all times.”
“I’ve had a few moments when I’ve said things I didn’t mean,” Thia said, her voice quiet. “Please don’t hate me if it happens when you’re around. It’s not me, it’s whatever this sickness is. My mind goes to sleep and something takes over.”
“Her injuries were severe enough that her staying in her room shouldn’t raise questions. Once Adam delivers the messages and comes back, we’ll head south,” Jinaari said.
“What about the records?” Thia asked.
“What records?”
“Mishar told me that they write down everything that happens, keep a record for history. There’s an entire library here. That we came, what we did in Tanisal will be written down. They’ll likely mention I couldn’t heal myself.”
“Caelynn, I want you on this,” Jinaari said. “Have Mishar take you down there. Don’t argue about anything they write; Silas commanded them to be honest and I’m not expecting them to defy him. See if there’s anything in their archives that talk about a healer who can’t care for their own wounds . . . a Marked individual whose magic changed suddenly. There may be a clue here that we need.”
“I’ll start as soon as Adam’s on his way,” she promised.
“What can Gnat do?” the cobalus asked.
“I need to sleep,” Jinaari said. “Can you stay here and watch Thia while I do that?”
Gnat nodded his head enthusiastically. “Gnat talk with Spoone and Forkke! They keep Friend Thia safe with Gnat!” Without warning, he climbed into Thia’s lap. “Friend Thia not do anything without Gnat knowing!”
Thia rolled her eyes and Jinaari held back the laughter. “Great idea, Gnat.” He looked at the other two. “I’ll get the letters written while you get ready, Adam. Gnat, I need Thia to sign it and use her signet, so you’ll have to let her move enough to do that. Caelynn?”
“I’ll stay with Adam until he’s gone, then head to the archives.” She rose, following the warlock out of the room.
Jinaari stood and looked at Thia. “I’ll be back in a few. I’ll keep things vague, let Adam fill them in if they have questions. If you need something, ask Gnat to get it for you.” Ignoring the annoyed look she wore, he left.
It didn’t take long to write the two letters. They were practically identical, letting each recipient know they were heading south toward Tavisholm, that any message they sent there would be received in a few months.
As the wax melted, he looked back at the words. Adam and Caelynn both reacted oddly when I asked if he’d ever been there. I wonder why? Pouring some wax onto each letter, he pressed his signet ring into the puddles. He picked both up and took them to Thia.
Gnat was still sitting in her lap when he walked into the room. “Gnat,” she asked, “do you see my pack?”
“Gnat see pack!”
“Inside is a small box with some wax and a ring inside. Can you bring those to me while I read the letters and sign my name?”
“Gnat get box!” He jumped off of her and ran toward her pack.
“I hope you don’t plan on taking a long nap,” she muttered.
“As long as I need. The bed is comfortable, and I’m not as concerned about your safety while we’re here.” He brought over a candle. “You’re the one who said he’s harmless.”
“He is. He’s also absolutely devoted to you. I’ll be lucky if I can get him to turn around so I can use a chamber pot!”
“Gnat find box!” He came scampering back over to them, holding it out to Jinaari.
“It’s Thia’s, Gnat. You should give it to her,” he said.
Gnat looked at her, then back at him. “Friend Jinaari said Gnat should not let Friend Thia do anything.”
“Oh, bloody hell,” Thia muttered under her breath, barely loud enough for Jinaari to hear her.
“Gnat, Thia is perfectly capable of doing some things for herself. Opening a box is not hard. What you need to do is stand watch, not let anyone besides one of us in here, and let me know if she falls or something like that. If she wants to bathe, I don’t expect you to stay in the room while she does. Understand?”
Gnat’s eyes darted around as several thoughts played across his face. Suddenly, his skin grew pink as he realized what Jinaari was saying. “Oh.”
“Thank you,” Thia said as she pushed her signet into the second letter.
Folding them, he wound the ribbon around one while she did the same with the other. “I’ll get these to Adam, see him on his way,” he said as they finished sealing the letters shut. “I can come back here, let Gnat rest, if you’d prefer.”
“I’ll be fine with him,” she replied. “You worry about me too much. If you were here, and I was awake, you wouldn’t get any sleep. You need it as much as I do.”
“I’ll come back when I wake up. I promise.” Rising, he looked at Gnat. “Keep her safe.” Without another word, he walked to the door and left.
Crossing the main room to Adam’s room, he paused when he heard Caelynn’s voice. “We can’t get all the way there without telling them, Adam.”
Jinaari put his ear against the door, picking up Adam’s reply through the wood. “We won’t. I’ll know when the time’s right to tell them. So will you.”
Jerking the door open, he stared at both of them. “What’s wrong with now?”
They looked at each other, guilt written on their faces. “Would you believe me if I said there were too many ears? It’s something neither of us want the monks to record, Jinaari. It’s nothing even close to why I left Helmshouse in nature. Ancient history that bears little if any relevance to the situation at hand.”
“If it’s ancient history, as you say, then the monks already know.” Jinaari kept his voice even as he stared at Adam. “You can make it so we’re not overheard. I thought you and I agreed; no more secrets.”
“You weren’t exactly forthcoming with the knowledge that you were planning on facing a demon in Tanisal, you know!” Adam spat the words at him. “Even if you didn’t tell us, you should’ve told Thia! She had every right to know what she would do when she cleared the city!”
“Garret forbade me from doing so. You don’t have an allegiance to a God, Adam. I can’t go against that vow! Ever! Or I’ll be worthless trying to keep her safe!”
Adam stared at him, slowly shaking his head. “You have no clue who I have allegiances to, Jinaari. You’ve never asked.”
Caelynn stepped between them, throwing her arms out. “Stop this, both of you!” She glared at Jinaari. “We’re all scared for Thia right now, but we’re not helping her by screaming at each other. Jinaari,” she stared at him, “I know you feel hurt because we won’t tell you this story right now. We have reasons, valid ones. Including being afraid that she’d level the entire compound when she hears our truth. There will be a time, between here and Tavisholm, where Adam and I will tell both of you everything. This is a story of our past, at the very start of our lives. It has little if any relevance to Thia’s problem. I promise you that. Please,” she lowered her arm, “I don’t know everything of your life before I met you. Or of Thia’s. That doesn’t mean I don’t love and trust both of you.”
“Here,” Jinaari said, holding the letters out to Adam. “I’m going to go lie down. We’ll be ready to go when you return.” Without waiting for a reply, he left.
A wave of exhaustion hit as he crossed the threshold into his room. I’m not going to do her any good if I’m too tired to fight. Caelynn’s right. We’re all scared for Thia right now. I’ll have a clear head after I sleep. He unbuckled his belt, leaning the scabbard and sword against the head of the bed where he could reach it easily. Sitting down, he pulled off his boots. Laying down, he fell asleep within seconds.