It doesn’t hurt to breathe. The realization was enough to make Thia take a deep breath, reveling in the normalcy of it. The fever’s gone, too. She put her hands under her, expecting the stone bier Jinaari had put her on. Instead, her hands sunk into a soft and pliable mattress.
“I know you’re awake. None here will do you harm, Thia Bransdottir.”
Something about the woman’s voice pulled at a memory in her mind. Sitting up, Thia looked around.
It was a cave, but not large. In one wall, a door had been placed. There were no candles, no torches, no fire in a hearth, yet the room was well lit and a comfortable temperature. A woman sat at a table; an empty chair opposite of her. On the table sat some food and a decanter filled with an amber liquid. Thia’s stomach growled, but she ignored it. The woman had her full attention.
Her short hair was white, as was the robe she wore. Her skin was iridescent, constantly shifting colors in the light. Cornflower blue eyes looked at her with a mix of both compassion and curiosity.
“Nannan?” Thia said, the word barely above a whisper.
The woman nodded once. “I thought this would be a form you’d be more comfortable with, Thia. Besides, this chamber,” she raised one arm and gestured around her, “is not large enough to allow me entry otherwise.” She smiled. “Come and sit with me. You need to regain your strength after your ordeal. We can speak while you eat.”
Pushing the blanket aside, Thia looked at her waist. Her belt, along with her father’s box and the scepter, were gone. Her heart began to beat rapidly. “The scepter . . . my box . . . where are they?”
Nannan pulled the stopper out of the decanter and poured some of the contents into a crystal goblet. “In the next room, with your family. Come, eat something.”
“My family? Jinaari and the others are out there?” Thia rose, glancing at the door as she walked toward the table. Maybe I heard things wrong when I was sick and on the bier. Maybe it was all a fever dream, another night terror.
“You misheard me, Thia. I said your family, not your friends. They were sent home, to continue their lives. Keroys and the other Gods severed the link between you and the scepter. They’re currently pulling Valtikka’s soul from it. When they’re done, and it’s safe, everything but the scepter will be returned to you. That will be returned to Avoch and given to another worthy soul to assist the Crown and Shield.”
Thia sat, stunned. A single tear escaped her eye, and she didn’t try to stop its path down her face. “How long ago did they leave?”
“Time is irrelevant here, Thia. We move in our own ways. You will learn to control this. But, if it helps, they arrived in Almair a few hours ago. I have no doubt they’re resting from their ordeal to accompany you here. A noble one that should be rewarded, but I leave that up to Garret and Lexi to determine.”
“They’re gone, then? I won’t see them again?” The tears came faster.
“I’m sure you will, at some point. Though I caution against trying to convert them to worshipping you. It’s considered bad form to poach followers that have ties to the other Gods.” Nannan’s tone was dismissive. “Eat something, that will help.” She nudged the plate toward her.
“I’m not hungry,” Thia whispered. Closing her eyes for a moment, she took a deep breath. “I don’t want to appear ungrateful, as I’m not. I understand the honor you bestow on me. But I don’t want this. Can it be undone?”
“You refuse what is offered? Thia, I have watched you for many years now. Guided Keroys into how best to encourage you to become what you are, with the idea that you would be the one to reunite the Thahion with the surface world. Garret’s spent countless hours directing Althir’s training so that he could defeat Lolc Aon, clearing the path for your ascension. I’m offering you everything you’ve ever wanted. The others are out there, ready to embrace you as their sister. You would have a family, a home. A chance to make a real difference in Avoch. Is that not enough for you?”
Raising her head, she looked at Nannan. “I have a family. One that I chose, and that I trust. People I care deeply for, and that care for me. I have a home wherever I go because of them. I don’t want more power. I don’t want what comes with being the Scepter most days. There’s days I don’t want what Keroys gave me. But my friends, my family, need me to accept those roles. They’ve always seen me for who I am, even if I didn’t. I can’t lose that.”
“But Keroys and the rest would love you. Can you say the same for your friends?”
Thia smiled. “We may not say it with that word, but we tell each other all the time. It’s there when Adam calls Jinaari old man, or Jinaari tells Adam he thinks too much. It’s in the way Caelynn worries and fusses over all of us. It’s me calling Jinaari an arrogant prick, or him calling me a stubborn witch. You can love someone and tell them in a thousand ways beyond a single word.
“I was happy with Papa. I didn’t ask for Keroys to Mark me, but I accepted it when I found out. I learned what he meant by the conditions he put on that power and grew into it when I was ready to accept the responsibility. My friends, my chosen family, were there every step of the way. Lending me their own strength, showing me that I was capable of doing everything I doubted I could. If not for them, I’d still be hiding in the cloister in Almair, unaware of my Mark. Unsure of myself, waiting for the day that someone had enough of my presence and put a knife in my back. To take all they’ve given me, all they’ve sacrificed while I grew into who I really am and leave them now isn’t fair. To them or me.”
“Do not the Thahion deserve a new Goddess? One that can show them a better way than what Lolc Aon did? Think of the good you could do, Thia. You can make them walk a better path as their Goddess.”
“I’m doing that now. I’m out there, changing one mind at a time. If I’m not mortal anymore, but a Goddess that’s to be worshipped, all the progress that’s been made will be lost.” Thia leaned forward, pressing her case. “The new God or Goddess needs to be comfortable with the role, someone who is willing to guide the entire race. One that can strive for a balance I’ll never possess. I barely tolerate being in court as the Scepter; it took me weeks to not run screaming from a room if someone asked to see the Daughter of Keroys. What I’m good at is showing people, one at a time, that not everyone is limited by their bloodline. Whoever replaces Lolc Aon needs to heal all their souls while I prove to Avoch that what matters is within us, not our eye color.”
Nannan stared at her, and Thia sat back; the piercing blue gaze was unsettling, but she held strong. You didn’t bring me here to give in, Jinaari. I’m going to be as stubborn as you always claim I am.
“If not you, then who? You’ve proven that you can shoulder the burden, Thia. You took on Lolc Aon, her Son and Daughter, as well as the last Demon Lord. You’ve got more power at your fingertips than most can imagine, yet you never abused it. Is there anyone in Avoch that you can name that you believe in your heart would be better suited than yourself? To whom would you entrust the souls of the Thahion?”
Raising her hand, she held up two fingers. “I can think of two. One is called Laith Deos. He led the delegation out of Byd Cudd to Almair and brought the scepter back to the surface. The other is a monk of Silas named Mishar. He’s apprenticed to the scribes at the monastery near Tanisal. Either one would be a better choice than me. I know this.” Thia lowered her head, then looked back at Nannan. Putting everything she could into her words, she said, “I have done everything that has been asked of me to this point. All I ask now is to be with the family I chose, and that chose me in return. If it means the Scepter goes to another, or Keroys removes his Mark and all that it means, then I willingly surrender either or both. I would not be the person I am now, or will continue to be, if not for their strength and friendship.”
Thia kept her gaze locked with Nannan’s, waiting for some kind of response. After what seemed an eternity, the Mother of the Gods nodded once. “If this is truly your wish, Thia, I am willing to grant it. On one condition.”
Sitting straight in the chair, she forced her anxiety aside. Whatever it is, I must do it. “I agree, whatever it is.”
Nannan smiled, and Thia relaxed. “That you agree without asking what it is tells me more than anything else. Your friends are truly fortunate to have you see them as family, Thia. What you must do is leave this room and explain your decision to the Gods. If they all give you their blessing, then I will allow you to take the scepter and leave. If even one dissents, insists you remain, then that is what will happen.”
Thia rose. “Thank you for understanding.” With measured steps, she walked across the room to the door. Speak from my heart, and they will listen. I must make them listen! Pulling the door open, she walked through the opening and closed it behind her.
The six deities stood around a marble topped table. On the end closest to her sat her belt; the pouch where she kept her box still attached. In the center, within reach of the Gods, rested the scepter.
“Hello, Thia. Are you feeling better?” Keroys asked, a small smile on his face.
“Yes, in no small part because of what you’ve all done. Thank you.” She drew a deep, cleansing breath, letting it out slowly.
“We just finished,” Keroys said. He pointed to a bottle resting in front of Garret. Inside the glass, an inky black substance swirled. “Ash, please take that into Mother. She needs to dispose of it once and for all.”
The youngest God grabbed it and headed toward the door. He stopped next to Thia, grinning, “Don’t start the party until I get back,” and left the room.
Thia felt their eyes on her, a sense of expectation in the air. “You refused, didn’t you?” Lexi said.
Looking at Keroys, she nodded. “My soul belongs to you, Keroys. It has since I was born, regardless of the Mark you placed on me. But my heart is with my friends. I can do more as your Daughter, as the Scepter, than I can by joining the rest of you.”
“Wait,” Ash said, coming up next to her. “What do you mean? Don’t you love us?”
Thia smiled at him. “I am needed by my friends, and I need them. I will forever be guided by Keroys, but my path is not an immortal one. I made my choice; Nannan has granted it if you all agree. I’m asking for the freedom to continue to make mistakes, live a life of chasing monsters and changing minds. One where I am with those who make me happy, support me, and give me strength and hope when mine fails. It’s not about not loving you, Ash. It’s about loving myself and my chosen family more than power. If I remain, agree to what Nannan and the six of you want from me, I will become less and less the person I know I am. I will disappear back into the shell I was in the cloister; going through the motions of living a life of purpose and never being truly happy.”
The six deities had sat as she spoke. Reading their faces, she saw disappointment in some. Others showed understanding. Keroys’s face shone with pride, and he smiled at her. “Much has been put upon you in your life, my Daughter. Each time, you have risen to the challenge. At first, I thought it was to get you where you would join us at this table. I now see that it was to reject this Path, and finally put your feet on one you want to walk. I am proud of who you have become, Thia. While I will miss what it would’ve been to have you as my equal, I look forward to seeing where your life goes from here. You have my blessing, and love.” He turned to Lexi, “What say you?”
“I was looking forward to having a sister, but I can wait. It would be rude of me to promise that to Caelynn and then take you from her. You have my blessing.”
Silas coughed. “I heard a name given to Nannan. I will seek this person out, let her know my thoughts on them. You have my blessing.”
The eldest God, Hauk, stared at her. “I am glad that my brother can give his Daughter what I could not give mine; peace of mind. You have my blessing.”
“Pan would kill me if I took you away from him!” Ash raised a tankard high. “Give your cousin my best. You have my blessing.”
Thia looked at Garret, hope surging through her. He met her glance with a scowl. “Absolutely not,” he declared. “I have put up with this nonsense long enough. Do as you are told, girl! Stop trying to reach for things you were never meant to have!”
The rest of the Gods began to shout, shocked at what he said. Thia stood straight, forcing the tears to stay hidden. “For what reason do you decline your permission? I am owed that much.”
He leaned forward, scowling at her. “I don’t trust you. I want you here,” his finger pounded the table’s surface, “where I can watch what you’re doing. Know you’re not distracting Althir from what I want him to do.”
Stunned, Thia said, “In what way do you believe me to be a distraction?”
Garret stared at her. “I know what will happen. You’ll tell him he can’t go where I need him to be, insist that he remain with you while you dust some silly piece of pottery. You will let his skills rot away until he’s nothing but a shell of the paladin I trained him to be. It’s what all women do to strong men. He’s meant for better than you.”
Thia chose her words carefully. “If, indeed, I wished to do that I would understand your refusal. But that is not my intent. Jinaari is who he is because of his faith in you, Garret. He is the person I trust the most, outside of Keroys. I would never tell him not to go where you would send him. On the contrary, I would pack a bag and ride with him. I would be there, ready to heal his wounds or aid him in battle, whichever was necessary. Because we trust each other. Because we believe in each other.” She drew a breath, feeling her cheeks flush as she spoke. “Yes, we’ve shared a bed. But that doesn’t mean I want him to give up who he is to earn my favor. He earned my respect and admiration because of who he is, not in spite of it. To restrict him, restrain him in any way would lessen him. Me standing here, asking for this boon, is only because he taught me to believe in myself as much as he did. His strength is mine, and mine is his if he needs it. That makes us who we are more than a shield or scepter. More than a sword or Mark. You don’t have to trust me. I’m asking you to trust him.”
Garret stared at her, and she didn’t flinch. The silence in the room became deafening, but she stood her ground.
“Garret, you’re my brother and I love you,” Keroys said, his voice quiet, “but sometimes you’re an arrogant prick. For once, let someone else be happy.”
Sitting back, he glared at Keroys. “And you’re a soft-hearted bastard.” Thia caught him glance at her, the smallest hint of a smile on his face. “You have my blessing.”
A wave of relief flooded through her. “Thank you,” she said.
Keroys rose. Picking up the scepter, he walked toward her, grabbing her belt as well. Holding both out, he said, “These are yours, Thia. Valtikka’s soul is gone. The scepter is now as it was meant to be; a symbol to unite Avoch and nothing more.”
Taking the belt, Thia wound it around her waist and secured it before reaching for the scepter. As her God placed it in her hands, she realized the sense of presence she’d felt since it first came to her was gone. “Was I always meant to wield this, Keroys? Or did it only come to me because of my lineage?”
“If it wasn’t meant to be you, Thia,” Garret said, “then it’d still be on this table.”
Her hands closed around the silver shaft. Meeting Keroys’s gaze, she smiled. “Thank you, for everything.”
“Go find your family, Thia. They need you as much as you need them.”
The room swirled around her and disappeared.
The colors solidified and Thia began to grin as soon as her vision cleared. She knew the bar against the wall, the tables scattered around the common room, the stage near the giant fireplace. It was late in the night; no patrons were in The Green Frog.
She walked over to the staircase; one hand caressing the wood that was worn smooth from use. I’m home. Tears filled her eyes. Keroys sent me here for a reason. They should be here, too. She ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. When she reached the landing, she slammed her hand against the keyed panel. The passage to their suite opened and she ran inside.
The common room lit up as she entered. Looking around, she saw the gear piled in a heap in a corner near her room. The door was ajar. Thia began to walk toward it, dropping the scepter onto a couch, when she heard another door open.
“Thia?” Caelynn’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Is it really you?”
Turning, she put her hands on the back of a chair. “Yeah, it’s me.”
The pink-haired woman ran at her, crying, and Thia welcomed her embrace. “We were so scared,” Caelynn sobbed, “we didn’t know what happened to you.”
“Thia?” Adam said.
Looking past her friend, Thia smiled at him. “I’m back.”
“Thank the Gods,” he said as he came closer. Thia found herself sandwiched between them. Adam was the first to pull away. “How? What happened?” he asked. “Are you okay now? What about the other one?”
“I’m fine,” Thia stepped back, swiping at the few happy tears that escaped her eyes. “The Gods removed Valtikka’s soul. The scepter’s as it was meant to be, as your parents made it.” She looked at Adam. “Where’s Jinaari?”
He nodded behind her, and she turned around. Jinaari leaned against the doorframe of his room, watching them. His hands were bloody and bruised. “How are things with you?” he asked.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Adam pull Caelynn back into his room and close the door. “They’re good. How are things with you?” she asked him as she stood still. There was a guarded tone in his voice that she’d never heard him use around her.
Cocking his head to one side, he looked at her. “I’m not sure. It depends on if I’m talking with the woman I know or a Goddess.”
“I see,” she looked down, gathering her thoughts. “It was offered, but I declined the honor.” She raised her head and saw the momentary shock that played across his face. Her heart raced as she looked at him. He scrutinized her and it hit her why. He blames himself, and I’m the only one who can help him with that. With measured steps, she walked toward him. “What happened to your hands?”
“I, uh, got overly enthusiastic with a punching bag when we were sent back here.”
“Why didn’t you heal them? Or ask Adam to?” she asked, puzzled.
He looked at her, and she could see the pain he felt in his dark eyes. “He wanted to, but I told him no. They were going to stay this way until they healed. Or you could do it.” He walked toward her. “You defied Nannan? And the Gods? Why?”
She formed the sigil in her mind and released the magic, healing his hands. “I don’t want power. I never did. I’m not entirely sure what to do with what I have. The Thahion need someone to lead them, yes. Guide them as they move away from the shadows they used to live under. But that person isn’t me. I’m needed in other ways.” She stopped, inches from him, and so did he.
He lowered his head, touching his forehead with hers. “I would agree with that.”
“I heard what you said, when I was on the bier.”
“I meant it.”
“I know you did.” She paused, “Jinaari, I’ve never felt like I belonged anywhere, not until I met you. And I’ve never had anyone fight for me to have a choice in my life. I’ve always done what I was told to do, what I ‘had’ to do, until you taught me to fight for what really matters. When I woke up and Nannan told me what she wanted me to agree to, I remembered what you’d said to Garret, to Keroys. The more I listened to her, the more I knew it wasn’t right. I’d still be there, doing what was expected of me, if not for you.”
“You’ve done so much already, Thia. I’m constantly amazed at how you adapted, took on the burdens that were shoved on you. I had doubts, yes, when I first met you. Now I sit back, smile, and wait for the world to realize who you really are. Because you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Nannan sees it too, or you wouldn’t be here. I know your stubborn streak; she didn’t stand a chance against you.”
“Nannan was agreeable, but said I had to convince the other Gods.” She hesitated, trying to keep her voice steady. “All but one gave me their blessing. Any guess who the holdout was?”
“Garret?” Jinaari asked, his voice tinged with shock.
Thia nodded. “He was certain I was going to keep you from answering any call he gave you, any mission to slay a monster or such. I pointed out that I was more likely to pack my bag and come with you than stay put, pouting. Keroys called him an ‘arrogant prick,’ said he needed to let people be happy for a change. That’s when he relented.”
Jinaari chuckled, raising his head and pulling her toward his chest. “Keroys actually said that?”
Melting into his embrace, she nodded. “He did. You have no idea how hard it was for me not to laugh, either.”
She felt his cheek rest against the top of her head. “I have never been happier for you to be so damn stubborn.”
Raising her head, she looked at him. “Back in the refuge,” she said, “you told me something.”
“Can you narrow it down a bit? There were lots of things I said there.” His dark eyes sparkled with laughter.
Placing one palm against his chest, she stared at it. “You said you didn’t know what this was between us, that you wanted to take some time and figure it out.” Taking a deep breath, she looked up at him. “I don’t know what this is, either. But I know that I trust you, care about you, and being here is the only place I’ve ever felt like was home. I don’t mean The Green Frog. I mean with you, Adam, Caelynn…it doesn’t matter if we’re here or sleeping on the road. It doesn’t even matter if we never keep each other warm again.” She felt her cheeks grow red but kept talking. “What matters is that I know you have my back, no matter what. That you’ve shown me I can be who I want to be, who I really am, without hiding. Whatever comes next, I can handle it because you believe I can. Your faith in me, that arrogant assurance that I’m more than what people see with their eyes, gave me the strength to tell Nannan no. I don’t need anything from you beyond that. Just be my friend, even when I mess up, and I’ll be happy.”
His hand caressed her cheek, and she leaned into the touch. “Are you done?”
She nodded.
“I meant what I said in the grotto,” he said, his deep voice sending shivers down her spine. “I’ve never said that to anyone before. This is one of those choices you have to make for yourself, Thia. I can’t see the future. I don’t know where it will go. No matter what, we’re family. I will always have your back, trust that you have mine. Nothing could change that.”
“What if—” she started to say but stopped when he put his finger against her lips.
“That’s not the road we’re on, Thia. Unless you’re cooking up one of your schemes, my stubborn witch, you need to stop trying to overthink everything.”
She smiled, leaning against her chest again. “You’re probably right.”
“Of course I’m right,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “About time you admitted it.”
“Arrogant prick,” she teased him.
He laughed, and she reveled in the joy the sound brought to her soul.