“Mistress Macnab just told me the news.” With a look of concern the queen rushed into Lindsey’s sleeping chamber, followed by her dour husband, who for once seemed as animated as his wife. “Has she awakened yet?”
“Aye.” In deference to his monarch, Jamie scrambled from the chair beside Lindsey’s bed and got to his feet.
“Sit, my friend.” Mary came around the bed and touched a hand to his shoulder. Taking a long look at him she added, “You look more like the victim of an attack than the lass.”
At that Jamie managed to grin. “It is that bad?”
“Aye.”
He ran a hand over the stubble on his chin. His eyes felt as if sand had been rubbed into them. “She put in a fearful night.”
“Does she know where she is?”
“At times. At other times she fights her demons.”
“Mistress Macnab complains that you will not allow her to aid you.”
“She is needed elsewhere. Lindsey is my responsibility.”
Mary turned her gaze fully upon him. Her tone was so low it seemed almost reverent. “So that is the way of it?”
“Aye.” He stared at the figure lying so still in the bed. A look of tenderness softened all his features. “And I had to nearly lose her before I would admit it.”
“I hope she is worthy of such feelings.” The queen squeezed his hand before turning toward the door. “I will instruct Mistress Macnab to see that all your meals are brought to you here.”
“Thank you, Majesty.”
She gave him a wan smile. “Nay. I thank you, Jamie MacDonald. For restoring my faith in man.”
When the door closed behind Mary and Lord Darnley, Jamie sank gratefully into the chair. Within minutes he was dozing.
* * *
Lindsey felt the bile rise up in her throat as the unknown terror seized her once more. She saw the hooded man, so tall, so menacing, moving toward her. In his hand was a sword. She stared in horrified fascination as the blade caught and reflected the light of the sconces that adorned the walls of the fortress.
“You must not—” her voice was little more than a whisper “—do this.”
The man laughed, a cruel, chilling laugh, and strode closer.
She did not scream, for he had already warned her that no servants would come to her defense. They were his servants, after all, and he was her father’s avowed enemy.
“I will not have to kill Douglas Gordon,” came the man’s booming voice. “The knowledge of what I have done to his beloved little lass will be revenge enough. Such knowledge will eat at his soul until he loses the will to live. And I will have won the sweetest victory of all. I will have destroyed the noble Douglas Gordon. Without his leadership, his fertile lands will be mine. And his people will be my slaves. Now, lass, come here to me.”
Lindsey continued to stare at the glittering blade, her young mind in turmoil. If she allowed this monster to do what he threatened, his words would be prophetic. It would surely break her father’s heart.
What would it be like to die? She was too young to even imagine such a thing. But this she knew, despite her youth, despite her innocence. She must choose death over dishonor. Her father’s bitterest enemy, Neville Sinclair, must not be allowed to sully her.
“I have been patient long enough,” he said through gritted teeth. “Come here, child.”
“Nay.”
Lindsey turned and began to run from him. But there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. The doors to his chamber were barred. In a state of panic she ran to the balcony, then skidded to an abrupt halt. Trapped. She was trapped. She turned. Neville Sinclair stood barring her way. The only escape now was death.
Without hesitation she climbed onto the wide ledge that ringed the balcony. For as far as the eye could see, there were the green, rolling hills of Sinclair land. Directly below the balcony was a courtyard where several horses were tethered. It was such a long way down.
Out of the corner of her eye Lindsey saw the man racing across the balcony toward her. She inched her way to the very edge of the ledge. There would be no second chance. If he caught her, he was strong enough to drag her back.
She was suddenly seized with a feeling of peace. She had chosen the right path. She was certain of it.
Without a word she leaned forward and felt herself falling through space. Above her the man’s voice was a cry of rage at the child who had denied him his chance for vengeance. Below her the courtyard loomed, the animals shifting nervously as she fell.
She awoke to the sound of a voice weeping. Her voice. She was bathed in sweat. Strong arms cradled her against a solid wall of chest. For long minutes she clung to the gentle giant who held and comforted her.
Safe. Though she knew not why, she felt safe with Jamie MacDonald.
Slowly the fear drained from her. Jamie could feel her gradually relax against him as the tension was released.
“It was all a terrible dream,” she said aloud, her voice trembling.
Jamie had heard too much to be fooled. The terrors she had relived in her mind had been too real.
“Have you had this dream often, my lady?”
“Aye. For many years.”
“Do you wish to talk about it?”
She shivered and he drew her closer and pressed his lips to her temple.
“How much did I reveal?”
“Enough.” He chose his words carefully. “Enough to know that you were a very brave lass.”
He felt the shudders that racked her. “I was but a child. Still, the fear of that time lingers. And so many things seem to cause the memory to flood my mind.”
“I think you must exorcise this horror from your memory. Perhaps, by talking about it, the bad dreams will end.”
Lindsey wrapped her arms around him, holding on as if she would fall. With her lips against his throat she whispered, “I have never spoken of it.”
“Not even to your family?”
“Only once to my father and mother. We made a pact to never speak of it again. My mother warned me that my father could not bear the pain of that awful time.”
She grew silent and clung to him.
Jamie realized it was up to him to open the floodgates, else the moment would pass and she would lock her fears away again. “I have surmised most of it, Lindsey. You were abducted by your father’s enemy.”
“Aye. Neville Sinclair.”
She shivered again as she mentioned his name, and Jamie heard the way her voice shook.
“He carried me off to his castle and took me to his chambers. There he told me what he intended to do to me.”
“How old were you?”
“Eight years,” she said softly. “Not old enough to understand everything, but old enough to know that his intentions were evil.” She began to cry, softly now, as the memories returned.
“But you thwarted him.”
“Aye. I chose to jump to my death rather than submit.”
He gathered her closer. “And you thwarted even death.”
“Aye.” He could hear the tears in her voice. “My father and his clan arrived in time to see me leap from the balcony. Father was certain I would die. He said his heart stopped. But though I suffered painful injuries, I lived.”
“That is why you sometimes limp.”
She nodded and wiped the tears, but they started afresh. “I shattered my leg. It mended, but imperfectly. Each time I limped, I would see the pain in my father’s eyes, and so I had to learn to walk in such a way that my father would not suffer:”
Now Jamie understood why Douglas Gordon kept his daughter so close. And he understood Lindsey’s determination to return to her overprotective father, despite the dangers and difficulties of such an undertaking.
“My father’s suffering was greater than mine,” she said simply, “for I was young, and my wounds healed quickly. But the wounds in my father’s heart have never healed.”
“You taught yourself to walk without a limp in order to spare your father any further suffering.”
“Aye. It was not easy, but it was necessary. It required great discipline.”
“What an amazing woman you are.”
Lindsey pushed herself away to stare at him. Tears still filled her eyes. “I am a coward. Did you not see? I still fight this man in my dreams. And I still weep like a child whenever I am reminded of that time.”
“Aye, my fiery little Lindsey. You do indeed fight your demons. But at least you fight; you do not surrender to the fear. And as for your weeping...” He lifted her face and his thumbs to the corners of her eyes. “It is not only children who cry, my lady. If anything should happen to you, I would be racked with tears.”
He brushed his lips over each of her eyelids. It was the sweetest of kisses, and she felt her heart leap to her throat.
This rough, terrifying giant, known throughout her land as heartless, caused her to feel things no other man ever had.
Or would.
“Now,” he whispered against her temple, “you must rest and heal your mind as well as your body.”
“You will not leave me?”
“Nay, my lady. You will never again be alone.”
He pressed her down against the pillows and drew the linens snugly around her. She caught his hand and pressed a kiss to it, and he felt the flare of heat.
“You will lie here beside me, my lord?”
“Nay, my lady.” He thought of the desire he felt each time he touched her. It would not be at all safe to lie beside her. “I will remain here in your chambers and see that you are not alone.”
“The dream will come again. I know it. And I am so weary of the fight. Please, my lord. Lie beside me.”
How could he refuse? “Aye, my lady.”
He drew her into the circle of his arms and closed his eyes. If indeed there was a heaven, he had already found it.
* * *
Lindsey awoke with a start. As her lids lifted she could make out the image of a haggard, unshaven Jamie beside her. They were lying in each other’s arms, in a most intimate embrace.
Feeling suddenly ashamed, she struggled to push herself free of his grasp. His arms tightened around her.
“Are you awake?” she whispered.
“Nay,” came his whispered reply. “I must be dreaming. Else how can you explain how we happen to be sleeping together?”
Heat stained her cheeks. “Where am I, my lord? Where have you taken me?”
“To your sleeping chamber.” Seeing the cloud of confusion still in her eyes he added with a smile, “In Lochleven, my lady.”
“Aye. Lochleven.” Then the terror returned. She sat up, pushing a tangle of hair from her eyes. “The man with the sword...”
“Is dead, my lady.” Jamie sat up beside her.
“You killed him?”
“Nay. It was Wolf who came to your rescue first.”
“Wolf.” Lindsey struggled to remember. “The sound. It was like a scream, but yet it was like nothing I had ever heard.”
“I was screaming,” Jamie explained. “Screaming to distract the stranger. But the sound of Wolf’s howl may have drowned out any other sound.”
“Who was the man?”
Jamie shook his head. “No one seems to know. Can you tell me what he revealed to you?”
Lindsey thought a moment. “He said it was a shame I had chosen that night to ride.”
“So you were not his intended victim?”
“Nay. I just happened to cross his path.”
“Did he say anything else?”
Lindsey struggled to recall everything that had been said. At length she shook her head. “I wish I could recall anything of value. But I cannot.”
“It matters not, my lady. The most important thing of all is that you are safe.”
“Thanks to you.” For the first time she noticed that he was shirtless. His naked torso rippled with muscles. She found herself staring at the mat of hair that covered his chest and tapered to the waist of his breeches.
“And Wolf.” Seeing the direction of her gaze, his voice warmed. “Do not forget Wolf.”
“Aye.” She felt herself blushing and tore her gaze away. But as she lifted her head she found herself staring at his lips. How close they were. How inviting. “I shall have to see that Wolf is well rewarded for his bravery.”
Jamie wondered if she had any idea how tempting she looked in the delicately embroidered gown that Mistress Macnab had provided. Though it covered her modestly; he was well aware of the perfect body beneath the pristine covering. “Justin MacLeod assures me that the hound eats better than the queen.”
“He has seen him?”
“Aye. I ordered him to take fresh game to the clearing near the loch.”
“When I am stronger I will take the food myself. And Wolf will eat from my hands.”
Jamie laughed. “You think, because he saved your life, he will now be your pet?”
“It is not a pet I want. It is a friend who will answer my call when I need him and sit by my side when I am lonely.”
He brushed a lock of hair from her cheek. His hand lingered over the softness of her skin. She saw the way his eyes darkened as he stared hungrily at her lips.
“I think what you ascribe to Wolf should be the task of a lover, my lady.”
She knew that he was going to kiss her. And she knew that if he did, she would be lost in the wonder of his kisses. She decided that it was time to test her strength. The strength she needed to resist all the strange new feelings that swamped her each time Jamie looked at her like this. She pushed herself free of his arms and scrambled from the bed.
Jamie lay back among the pillows, his hands behind his head. It was so good to see her up and about. And yet he could not deny the slight feeling of regret. He had treasured those hours alone with her. He loved watching her while she slept. He loved taking care of all her needs.
She draped a shawl around her shoulders for modesty. Then she filled a basin with water. As she washed her face and arms and lifted the square of linen to her cheeks, he felt the sudden tug of desire. He could joyfully spend the rest of his days enjoying such mundane things as this. So long as they were shared with Lindsey. How he loved being with her. He loved her. He could no longer deny that fact. And though it complicated his life, it was that simple, he loved her.
As she brushed the tangles from her hair, she caught sight of him in the looking glass. The frown of concentration made her heart contract. She was keeping him from his duties to the queen. She must send him away. And quickly.
She turned.
“You seem exceedingly distracted this morrow, my lord.”
“Do I?”
“Aye.” She tossed down the hairbrush and strode to the side of the bed. “Your duty awaits you below stairs.”
“And what of my duty to you?”
“You owe me nothing, my lord. I am grateful for all that you have done for me. But now you must go.”
“And this is how you show your gratitude? By throwing me out of your chambers?”
Though he was still frowning, she could hear the hint of teasing laughter in his tone.
“Aye, my lord. You have much more important matters to attend to in the queen’s company.”
His hand snaked out so quickly she had no time to react. He pulled her down on the bed and rolled until he had her pinned beneath him. With his lips brushing hers he murmured, “Nothing is as important as this.”
The kiss was long and deep and thorough. Jamie moved his lips over hers, thrilling to the way she responded to his kiss. Her lips parted for his tongue and he invaded the sweetness of her mouth. How soft her lips. How wild her taste.
She gave a little moan of pleasure and he shifted slightly. His hand plunged into the tangles of her hair, and he drew back a moment to study the way she looked. Clean. Fresh. She was a breath of air in his battle-weary life.
He bent his lips again to hers and felt the tremors that she could not hide.
“Are you afraid, my lady?” he murmured against her lips.
“Aye. I—should not feel this way.”
“What way?” With his finger he traced the outline of her lips and felt them tremble beneath his touch.
“As if I were on fire. As if I had just run across a meadow and cannot catch my breath.”
He touched a hand to her heart and could feel her thundering pulse.
“Oh, my lady. It is the most natural thing in the world to feel this way.”
“Do you feel it too, my lord?”
In reply he framed her face with his hands and drew her to him. His mouth came down on hers and he devoured her with his kiss.
Lindsey’s heartbeat thundered in her temples. Her breathing was ragged and painful. Her arms closed around his waist, drawing him so close she could hear his heart beating as erratically as her own.
Jamie knew that he had gone too far. Yet he wanted more. He wanted all. As his lips plundered hers he drew on his last ounce of willpower.
He lifted his head and studied the way she looked, her lips warm and moist, her lids heavy with passion. He knew he played a dangerous game. Soon there would be no turning back.
‘“I will leave you to your rest, my lady. Mistress Macnab will be here soon with your meal.”
Lindsey lay in the middle of the bed and watched as he strode from the room. The taste of him still lingered on her lips. The need for him caused an odd trembling sensation that left her weak.