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SATURDAY AFTERNOON
I had a yearning for a good, solid brew so I headed to the RV to make tea, like a Darjeeling or an English Breakfast.
The door was hanging open.
“Jaqi? Luci? Are you home?” There was no answer. My arms goose-pimpled up, drawing my attention to my bruises again. Who would’ve thought goosebumps could be painful?
I climbed the steps like a toddler, placing both feet on one step before starting up to the next one. Should I check or go get Carl right away? No, I was not relying on that man even if he was a cop. I’d check it out first. The door could have simply blown open.
It hadn’t. The lock was broken with deep scratches carved into the screen door near the handle.
I hesitated. Was I being reckless? Was I being stubborn for no good reason and likely to get hurt because of it?
Yes to both questions, but I stepped in anyway.
It was a nightmare. Everything had been trashed; food was thrown from the fridge onto the floor, the bottles broken and spilling everywhere. The cupboards were open, and the drawers were emptied and dropped to the floor adding to the pile of destruction.
I gingerly made my way back toward the bedroom at the other end. The bathroom’s folding door had been pulled off of its tracks and thrown aside. The utter destruction extended even here with all of the bottles emptied and the liquids poured out. Every shelf had been swept clear.
It was also clear that whoever did this was looking for something.
But what? I turned to pick up Victor and remembered that I had locked him in the vardo since the girls weren’t here to watch him.
I hadn’t heard a single bark from that direction.
I told myself that it was simply that I couldn’t hear him from inside the RV. He would be fine; I’d just go get him now.
Actually, he was fine. The package of peanut butter-hazelnut cookies, however, was not. I’d left them on the bed and now all that remained were shredded bits of plastic, crumbs, and a fat, sleepy dog.
He was so stuffed, he barely managed to wag his tail when I came in.
I picked him up to take with me to the RV to wait for the girls.
Before I could even make it to the door, I heard a car pull up. A door slammed as a bright voice speared me in the heart. Lucia. They were back and would be devastated.
***
THE RV WAS OPEN AND light blazed from every window. Lucia spoke rapidly in Spanish with her arms wrapped around herself, while Jaqi cursed like drunken pirate on leave. Did pirates take leave?
I hobbled up the steps, more pulling myself up than climbing, and stared at the mess as I seated myself at the dinette table. It looked like a tornado had swept through.
Jaqi’s voice was eerily calm as she stared at the small table and felt the chairs underneath. “Sweetheart, did you move my laptop?”
Luci’s face blanched, “Your laptop? No, no, is it not on the table?”
“You can see it’s not.” There was an edge to Jaqi’s voice now.
Luci’s eyes filled with tears. “Someone was in here. They stole your computer and touched our things. Who knows what else they did in here?” Tears spilled over her round cheeks.
“I’ll call the police. They might still be close by.” I said firmly. I tried for firmly. I might not have made it.
I watched Luci turn to slowly face the closed bedroom door. I felt the blood rush to my ears as I realized that we hadn’t seen anyone near the trailer. They could have heard us coming and might still be here.
I shakily moved to the bench by the door, farthest from the bedroom. What if someone hid in the bedroom behind the door? Or in the bathroom, maybe even in the shower like in Psycho. My hand shook as I pulled the phone from my purse and dialed 9-1-1.
In a shaking voice I told the operator what I knew. But when she told us to get out and sit in the car, I started to get angry. “Maybe we should sit right here and keep him trapped.” Jaqi stared at me. “I rented the trailer; I need to get my deposit back.”
Jaqi’s stare lowered into a scowl.
“I’m sorry, love. I’m kind of in shock. Who would do this?”
Jaqi growled, “Thieves. Probably that woman that hung around Keith before he died.” She pulled her notepad and pen from her purse. I’m going to start a list of what’s broken or stolen. Why don’t you two go get the owner; he’s responsible for security here.”
“I’m pretty sure he put up a sign saying he wasn’t, but it’s worth trying.”
Lucia and Jaqi shared a telling glance, though I had no idea what it meant. Then Luci nodded and turned to me.
“I’ll get your walker and Vic’s leash. You stay sitting.”
***
I FOLDED A TOWEL INTO a kind of cushion and set Victor on the walker’s seat. He burped, farted, then acted embarrassed for an entire microsecond before he fell asleep again.
Jaqi was on hold with the cops, writing down everything she saw. It seemed as though her list would include everything in the RV.
It took us a few minutes to walk over to the office. Between the heat and the utter stillness, it felt a bit creepy. Every stalk of grass seemed to be listening.
I was glad that we still had several hours of daylight left; this atmosphere would have freaked me right out in the dark.
The door was open once more to an empty office. I flipped on the light and searched for a note that might have said where he’d gone. Of course, there wasn’t one.
So, I again searched for paper and pen. The drawers were empty. What did that mean? I checked the bottom right drawer where I had seen the lock-box. It was gone, too.
Had the office been robbed as well?
I didn’t know what to do. Luci pointed out the “we are not responsible” sign. It was as I’d expected.
The only thing that still had anything on it was the cement block bookcase, filled with soft porn and cheap paperbacks.
Then, the bottom right drawer wouldn’t close properly after I’d opened it.
I jiggled it and pulled it out again.
Still empty. I reached in deep to feel around for whatever it was hung up on.
Luci moved beside me to see what I was fighting with just as I felt a baggie wedged between the back of the drawer and the desktop.
I gave it a yank and it popped out, tearing as it flew into the air. I automatically caught it and it exploded with baby powder. What the actual fudge?
Both of us were covered in it. Wiping and slapping at our clothes threw more of it in the air, so I put Victor on the desk to steal his towel.
We wiped ourselves as clean as we could and looked at each other. Lucia burst into laughter.
“What kind of man hides baby powder in his desk?”
“Maybe it’s a sexy thing?” Lucia’s eyes were wide.
I started laughing as I pictured the owner in a diaper. When I described it to Luci, she howled in glee.
I tucked Victor under my arm and walked outside, Luci followed me, still giggling.
Standing a few feet away and staring at us was Carl. His blue eyes were wide and his mouth twitched like cat about to sneeze. That started me giggling again.
“What were you two doing in there, and what’s so funny?”
“Your mouth—” I burst out laughing again. Taking a deep breath to settle myself, I said “Your mouth—”
Carl wiped his mouth, which was even funnier. Eventually, the laughter slowed and I tried again. “Your mouth...is a cat!”
Luci and I laughed so hard we had to lean on each other to keep from falling over.
Carl frowned. “Vee, are you high?”
We were high; I recognized the frenetic hilarity from my wilder days. How the—well, sherbet poopsicles.
That was not baby powder.
Carl hurried us back to the RV to sober up. He grumbled the whole way, but it was easy to tune him out.
As we came around the corner, we spotted two Ontario Provincial Police talking to Jaqi in front of the RV steps. Shoot, we couldn’t just stroll up there like this. Carl grabbed my arm and tugged me back out of sight just as Jaqi pointed in our direction.
I was suddenly worried sick, what if they’d seen us? Would I be arrested again, suspected in Keith’s murder? My chest tightened as I felt panic threaten to overwhelm me.
Carl shook me by the shoulders, and I realized that he’d been talking to me.
“Vee, listen. I’m taking you both to my place to straighten up. I’ve got something there that might help.”
I nodded, the ground swaying under me in time to my head. I couldn’t stop.
Carl grabbed my sore arm again and started hustling us to his trailer. I would need to buy armor at this rate.
He practically shoved me up his steps, reminding my hip that I was nowhere near fully recovered from the gunshot.
I sat heavily and gasped in pain. Carl stared at me for a heartbeat and then clapped himself on the forehead.
“Is your walker back at the office, Vee?”
I tried to remember, “I think so. Would you be a dear and—”
He was already moving to the trailer door. Such a nice man, so helpful.
“He has nice buns.” Lucia observed. I nodded, she was right. I wondered where he’d gone.
Carl returned right away, closing the door softly behind him. He peered back through the small porthole in the door and stepped to the stove, filling a kettle. Then he grabbed a bottle of pills from under the floor between the stove and counter.
“If anyone asks, we’ve been here having coffee.”
Lucia nodded solemnly. “We are having coffee.”
My mouth popped open and started speaking without me. “The RV was broken into and is utterly trashed.”
Carl swung to stare at me, “When did this happen?”
I thought hard, eventually remembering the question. “While we were at lunch. That pineapple rice was so good.”
“You had pineapple rice without me?” Luci pouted.
“Ladies, please.”
We both turned to look at Carl. I was a bit surprised he was still here. Wasn’t he going to get my walker?
Carl chuckled, “I already went, but the cops were there, remember?”
Luci and I looked at each other and she nodded while I slowly realized I’d been thinking out loud again.
“I better get you sobered up.” He pulled two pills out of the unmarked bottle, laying one in front of each of us.
He leaned his chair way back and pulled the fridge door open, grabbing a bottle of water.
The kettle whistled shrilly, making Carl jump and his chair begin to fall. He wiggled in mid-air like a cat and managed to land on one knee.
Luci and I started giggling. Lucia clapped her hands like it was a magic trick. Carl grinned, stood up and bowed, then handed over the water.
“Take those right now. They’ll make you have to pee like the dickens, but should straighten you up some.”
We dutifully took the pills and watched Carl make instant coffee. Yes, coffee would help.
“I feel so drunk,” I said, “but can’t remember having anything.”
“You’re not... oh, never mind.” Carl shook his head and then glanced up through his lashes. Such thick lashes, just to die for.
“Drink your coffee and I’ll get you more.”
***
BY THE TIME THE OPP showed up at Carl’s door we felt a bit better. We’d be fine as long as we didn’t look at each other. Luci and I nodded at Carl, and he opened the door.
“Hi, officers. What can I do you for?”
The officer I could see nodded back. He was middling aged, a bit out of shape for chasing anybody, and had frizzy, graying hair like a poodle. I decided I liked him.
“There’s been a break-in, possibly two. Miss Fox says her friends are here.” He peered around Carl and caught my eye, so I smiled.
Carl stepped back to let them in, glancing quickly at me. I held my hand out to the pleasant looking OPP officer.
The younger man was short but trim, evidence of a heavy workout routine straining his shirt sleeves and showing in the way he held himself. You could see the difference between gym muscles and hard work muscles in the way a man stood or moved.
The young cop introduced them, he was Officer Phelps and the pleasant looking one was Officer White. Although that was amusing, I held my face still. A white man with white hair named White... how unimaginative.
Phelps leaned back against the sink, watching us while White sat across from me at the table. He shook my hand and nodded at Luci.
Pulling out a tidy pad of paper, Phelps glanced over the top page before speaking to us. Very professional, I thought.
“Which of you owns the blue walker?”
“I do, why?” I glanced at Luci and she shrugged.
“We found it in the owner’s office, why was it there?”
I shrugged, “I must have left it behind last time I was there. I don’t need it all the time, you know.”
He jotted that down. “When was the last time you were there?”
“Earlier today. I went to ask him something.”
“And when was that?”
“Oh, an hour ago?” Carl nodded.
“How was the office when you got there?” From the corner of my eye, I saw Lucia stiffen.
“Empty, I wanted to leave a note for him, for Harvey, to come talk to me but there was nothing on his desk and then Carl saw us and brought us back here.” I was very proud of myself for answering so clearly. They would never know I was stoned.
Was I talking out loud?
Do you get stoned on cocaine?
Or is it high?
“Miss Lilley?” I jerked my head up. Who was talking to me?
The nice cop caught my eye. He knew! I was going to jail.
“Miss Lilly, what’s on your lap that you keep checking?”
“It’s my dog. He ate a whole bag of cookies and now he feels ill.” The cops exchanged a glance.
“Your dog?” The nice one was looking at me funny.
“Carl, could you get me a towel or blanket for Victor, I don’t want to put him on your table.”
Carl smiled and leaned over to snag a towel off of the kitchen counter.
I folded it one-handed, okay, not so much folded as puddled, I guess. I then lifted Victor gently and poured him onto the table. He snuffled, wagged his tail once and farted. Loudly.
Lucia and I laughed, Carl grinned, and the cops just stared at Victor.
“Are you sure that’s a dog?”
I started to explain Victor’s anxiety and how his baldness was related, but then the smell hit.
Saint Martha in a housecoat! Everyone scrambled to get outside. I grabbed Victor and ran with the rest of them.
We ran back to the RV. I paused to snag my walker and Phelps tried to stop me, but White shook his head.
So, I was able to lay Victor back on the seat, and I had both hands to struggle with it. Fortunately, I was too high to notice the pain.
***
JAQI WAS FURIOUS BY the time we got there.
“Where were you? Why didn’t you come back?” She tossed her head and went back into the RV before we could answer.
Luci and I followed her quietly. As I set Victor onto his favorite cushion, White tapped my arm.
“Is it possible to leave him outside?”
I looked at Victor, sound asleep in Carl’s towel. So cute in his T-shirt with a cat inside a NO symbol printed on it.
Lucia nodded. “I’ll put him back in the vardo.”
By the time Luci got back, Jaqi was letting the OPP photograph her list of missing and broken items. She’d won the fight over who got the actual list; she needed it for insurance. And she needed a case number and their report as soon as possible.
It was fascinating to watch. I got upset when I was, well-upset. Jaqi got dicta-ditator-torial... bossy.
The cops gave her the case number and told her to call them in a few days to get the report emailed to her. She glared at them.
“My laptop was stolen. Good Lord, I’m a writer; my laptop has everything on it. Everything.”
A thought worked its way into my brain.
“Wouldn’t the thief be here? I mean the campground. They had to know we were out, and you can’t see the trailer from the road.”
“Madre de Dios, what if it was the killer?” Lucia’s eyes were round, like an Anime character when alarmed.
“What killer?” Both cops perked up like Victor when I’m cutting up a steak. Mmm, steak. What should we have for supper?
So, Jaqi filled them in while I considered what was still in the freezer.
Hamburgers, there were hamburgers and pre-baked potatoes. Maybe a salad. What day is it? What time was it?
Somehow, the OPP had left while I was thinking. Jaqi seemed shattered.
“I’ve lost everything, Vee. All my notes, my half-finished manuscript, my published books. What am I going to do?”
I went over and hugged her. “I’m going to heat up the stuffed potatoes and cook cheeseburgers. You are going to get a glass of wine and relax.”
She smiled. “Wine sounds good right now, but I need to call my agent. She’ll freak.”
***
SATURDAY NIGHT
I was a teensy bit drunk as I sat outside the vardo and watched the sun set over the farmer’s field. The martini in my hand was ice cold and tasted wonderful. It was just what I needed after today.
I could feel my muscles unwind as I sat there with Victor on my lap and a warm shawl over my shoulders.
The cocaine had mostly worn off, so I wasn’t jittery anymore, just relaxed. Languid. Chilled, even.
The girls were tidying up the RV and adding items to the insurance list. I’d asked them to join me, but they refused. Jaqi needed things put back to order. It was just the way she was wired, she couldn’t stand a mess. It was too bad; she could have used a moment to relax.
So, I was pleasantly surprised to hear footsteps cross the dry grass heading my way.
“Come on over, the martini’s cold, and there’s another glass in the cupboard on the right.”
“Why, thank you kindly, Miss Vee.” Carl’s voice was close as he leaned into the vardo door to reach the martini glass.
Drat, he wasn’t exactly the last person I wanted to see, but I was enjoying the quiet. And I’d thought it was either Jaqi or Lucia.
After the obligatory pleasantries, we sat in companionable silence. The only sound was the wind swishing through the corn and the occasional slurpy chewing of an olive.
It was nice. Comfortable. Familiar.
Soon, fireflies began blinking above the cornstalks, flashes of bright green as they called to each other in brief bursts of light. It was so pretty. And pretty romantic, come to think of it.
As if he’d heard me, Carl handed me his glass and stood up to go. Men are so terrified of commitment.
“Well, Vee, this was nice. And you’re right. You make a great martini.” He touched his fingertips to his head in a salute and sauntered away, back the way he’d come.
I shook my head. What had that been about? Probably just the free drink. I got up and headed to bed.