First, before I say anything else, I want to make one thing clear: some of my best friends are machines. Seriously. There’s the clock radio that wakes me up in the morning, the toaster that makes me breakfast, the electric toothbrush that scrubs my braces, the computer that does my homework, and the night light that’s there in case I need to see stuff while I’m asleep.
Machines are totally awesome! Sure, we’ve had our differences — like that time when I was six and my older brother, Stick, told me our bug zapper was made out of candy. I probably shouldn’t have believed him, but he said that’s why the bugs kept going in there. It explained everything!
My point is, the second the feeling came back into my tongue, I completely forgave that zapper. I don’t even have that nightmare where I’m a moth anymore.
That’s why the stuff that happened a few weeks ago seems so unbelievable. I mean, of all people, why me? I’m technology’s biggest fan!
You heard about it, right? The trouble at Dolley Madison Middle School? It was all over the Internet — which is why you shouldn’t believe it. Once a story like that hits the Web, people add in a lot of gossip and lies and then it spreads like wildfire. So whatever you’ve heard, forget it. It’s not the real story, because nobody knows the real story but me.
And I haven’t told a soul . . . until now.
Here it is — the good stuff, the bad stuff, and the stuff I was hoping no one would ever find out about. It’s time the truth came out. I’ll be the first to admit I made a ton of mistakes, and caused a lot of trouble, and put just about everyone I know in danger. So if you feel like you absolutely have to blame someone, then point your finger straight at me. It’s my fault.
But just so you know, the robots started it.