#6
Control the Audience
“The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum.”
–Noam Chomsky
What Stanford is to universities, a perfectly set-up room in downtown San Francisco is to comedy. The Punchline Comedy Club has low ceilings that help laughter bounce around the room; lots of red coloring, which scientists say is more conducive to laughter; tightly packed seating, which helps spread emotions; and a stage that sits low and almost within the crowd. A joke here will get a bigger laugh than most other venues. Comedians love performing here, and, just like Stanford, only the better ones get in. For a new comedian, the best chance of taking the stage there is the venue’s Sunday night showcase. The rules for the showcase are unwritten, but generally you are expected to have been doing comedy for at least two years, come to the show most Sundays for nine months, and patiently wait to be called on to deliver your best seven minutes to a packed house. Patience is not my strong suit and shortcuts are my specialty. During my year’s experiments I managed to get on stage at the Punchline seven times. But tonight it’s not someone developing his craft and trying his luck as a comedian with a pretty tragic stage name. Tonight it’s Andrew. He has honed his craft over ten years as a full-time touring comedian, and he is incredibly good at making audiences double over in laughter while dominating a room. Andrew finds a couple in the audience.
“Now here’s a good-looking couple. How long have you two been together?”
“Two years,” the man answers while his lady friend leans in affectionately.
“What’s your name?”
“John.”
“Is it serious, John?”
“Yes.”
John’s girlfriend is blushing. She’s also extremely pleased. She glances at him affectionately, and she’s not the only one. This room full of strangers is now getting to know and like John and his pretty girlfriend.
“Good-looking girl. You probably know after a year together. Do you love her?”
“Yes,” John answers quickly. Smartly.
“Well done, John. He knows the rules. No matter what the question, never hesitate. Do you love her? Yes. Is she fat? No. Bang . . . Never hesitate. Good work. You are getting the good loving tonight.”
The audience laughs, the girl laughs, and John laughs, knowing he nailed this impromptu test.
“So, it’s a serious relationship. Are you engaged?”
“No.” John looks like he has swallowed something sharp.
“So it’s serious, she is amazing, you’re very happy. You love her. It’s a great relationship. You can tell. Serious. Some people would say very serious. But . . . it’s not engagement serious, John . . . Not engagement serious. Look at all the ladies. They loved you before when you said you love her but now they are asking, ‘Why not, John? Why not engaged?’ Do you know what would make this an amazing night, John? Do you know what would make this extremely memorable for both of you?”
The anticipation and tension builds and becomes nervous laughter. Is Andrew really going to ask him to propose to his girlfriend in front of a room of strangers?
“Look at John’s face. You should see it. He’s like, ‘Joke’s over, asshole. Move on now.’
Don’t worry John. We wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t make you ask in front of all these people.” Andrew turns to the girl, “But, if he did ask, what would you say, John’s girlfriend?”
“Yes . . .” the girl says softly.
“Wow.” Andrew looks up, “Oh, sorry John. I have just ruined your life.”
This joke looks every bit spontaneous and in the moment. And it is, but it was very much in the moment with a different couple the previous night as well, and the night before that. This is the essence of rehearsed spontaneity combined with controlling the audience. Andrew has put in a lot of work and analysis behind the scenes to test out various formats and wording to lead into this core joke premise. This moment that seems so spontaneous is mostly anything but.
The best comedians and presenters have topics in mind that they are well prepared on and wish to discuss. The mastery in their delivery comes from steering the audience in the right direction to arrive at just what they had planned to talk about. Can this be done regularly? It can. Remember, you have the microphone. You control the room. This also applies to interviews and all social interactions. As a speaker, you can control how much the audience member speaks with the type of questions you ask. If you’re trying to engage the audience members and you want them to talk for a longer period of time, ask open, leading questions. Use words like how, who, when, what, why, and where to elicit a response greater than one word. They generally require some further explanation. If you want to appear to be engaging an audience member, but don’t want them to speak that much, ask a closed question, one that tends to solicit yes-or-no or other one-word answers.
“You need to make the audience like you, but you also need to be able to control them collectively, as they will decide collectively if they want to listen to you.”
Something strange happens when you put a group of people who previously didn’t know each other together in a room. They begin to react together, to laugh together, and to applaud together. They essentially begin to behave as one. You need to present to them like you’re constantly seeking their approval. This goes back to the previous comedy lesson. You need to make the audience like you, but you also need to be able to control them collectively, as they will decide collectively if they want to listen to you.
Command Attention
So many times I have seen a business speaker take the stage and begin to talk while the audience is still chatting or not quite settled. Sometimes it’s the result of the host not doing his or her job, and sometimes it’s due to a range of other factors, but one thing is certain: you need to stop the noise. The speaker all too often tolerates the crowd’s chatter, puts their head down and seeks to plough through their presentation as fast as they can. What happens? The noise level gets higher and higher.
Next time this happens, stop and ask the audience to clap if they can hear you. Once a few begin to clap, keep it going until those who were talking shut up and join in. They will. Like birds flocking together, people naturally behave as a group. They will assume you said something interesting worthy of applause, fear they missed something awesome, and join in. Now you reset and start again. I run a conference series and this is how I commence every time. It never fails. “Clap if you can hear me.”
Never Ignore Interruptions, Always Manage Disruptions
Sooner or later you’ll be interrupted in a talk or presentation. In a comedy show this is referred to as heckling. These unwanted interruptions will disrupt your flow, but they should be endured until it’s clear that the audience is also annoyed. You’ll begin to feel this. When you do, then you can close off the intruder with the audience’s implicit approval. We can all recall times presenting, when somebody kept going on and on without really getting to the point of the question. If this was annoying you, it was probably annoying the audience as well. Just make sure it’s actually happening before closing them off. Always be polite unless you really, really have no other option. Remember, you control the audience. You have the microphone and your voice will be considerably louder than anybody else’s in the room no matter how much they shout.
Few comebacks from the comedy stage are appropriate for use in a business context, but there is no harm in learning from some more extreme examples, then adapting a more lighthearted version.
Ricky Gervais: “This is a big venue, I can’t really get into one-to-ones. In a smaller room I’d still ignore you—Shut up!”
Arthur Smith: “Look, it’s all right to donate your brain to science, but shouldn’t you have waited ’til you died?”
Rufus Hound (to waitstaff): “Can we get some crayons and a menu for this guy to color in, please?”
Often the best way to deal with an intrusion or comment is simply to repeat that comment. If it was an obviously stupid question, by simply repeating it and pausing for effect the audience will likely laugh spontaneously. This repeat serves a number of purposes. First and most important, it buys you time to think. This extra time allows you to come up either with something witty and spontaneous or the best answer to their question, comment, or concern. You can often get easy laughs here by intentionally mispronouncing a certain word within their question. For example, an audience member asks, “You said the key number was 10 percent in your talk. Can you clarify, because she said in her report that it’s 30 percent.” The speaker replies, “A sheep said it’s 30 percent. Those sheep can’t be trusted. I would strongly encourage you to avoid quoting sheep, especially at business events like this one. Those sheep are no good with numbers: one, two, three, four, zzzzzz . . . They’re asleep . . . oh, she, you said. Sorry, my apologies. It’s always hard when the audience are much smarter than I.” The apology line here, much like Jeff accusing the audience of “laughing sparingly” in the last chapter, is a backup in case the audience member looks offended. It flips the original joke, at their expense, now back to one at your own, and serves to get the audience back on your side. Often you could just as easily move on to the next question without using it. It all depends on how that particular group reacts. Something you will get better and better at judging, the more you are on stage.
Misunderstood questions are often a common occurrence, and whether you are making light of them or not, make sure that everybody in the room heard the question. Repeat it. You can always add, “That’s a great question,” if you need more time. Constantly seek to buy time to think on your feet. There’s no hurry to give an answer. Don’t be afraid of silence. Silence means the audience is listening to you.
For instance, a geeky-looking comedian says, “This is how bad I was at sex the first time. The first time I ever had sex—”
“Yesterday?” yells a heckler. The audience responds with huge laughter.
The comedian visibly struggles to find words as the audience continues to laugh for a full twenty-nine seconds. Finally, he looks at his heckler and says, “Glad you remember.” The room swells with even bigger laughs as the audience goes wild in approval. (Watch at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54AW7V2O9xc.)
There’s no rush to craft your response. The best answer or comeback is worth taking the time to put together.
Never Run the Clock
The easiest way to lose an audience is to exceed your allocated time limit, what comedians call running the clock. Comedians are better at respecting this than anyone else. Why? Because in comedy, if you run the clock you will not be allowed on stage again at that location. In no club or venue will it be tolerated unless you’re an A-list headliner. There are more than fifty thousand people who call themselves comedians in the United States. All of them over time become pretty funny. Not all will be hilarious and make the big time. In fact, very few will. All, however, will learn this one great lesson along the way: never run the clock.
Practice your timing and aim to never, ever go over the allocated time limit. If there isn’t a set time limit to go by, make sure that you impose one on yourself. This forces you to go back and strip out any unnecessary words or information and be a minimalist. Use the fewest words with the greatest impact.
If you’re due to speak for ten minutes, this time period becomes essentially a nonverbal agreement with the audience. In their mind, if they expect you to speak for ten minutes, then they’re already planning on doing something else in ten minutes’ time, whether that’s catching up on some work email, going to the bathroom, or grabbing some lunch. It’ll be much harder for you to hold their attention if you go over the agreed time limit.
Also, keep in mind, this time has to come from somewhere, especially if you’re part of a busy conference-presentation schedule or show. If you go over your time, then somebody else will lose some of theirs; whether it’s taken from the next speaker or from your audience’s lunch break, you’re not making friends. Be respectful. Finish on time. Will anyone ever complain that your talk was too short? Wouldn’t you rather not find out? Always leave your audience wanting more.
“Be respectful. Finish on time. Will anyone ever complain that your talk was too short? Wouldn’t you rather not find out? Always leave your audience wanting more.”
If you’ve crafted a memorable story, used the joke structures, and tested your material, then you’re going to get some great laughs from the crowd. Make sure you allow them time to laugh. Also, remember your planning: “A tight five is much better than a sloppy fifteen.” Aim to be consistently high (not that kind of high!), consistently funny, and consistently good. To do this, you’re better off squeezing your time into a more compact time frame than allowing yourself to ramble around the clock.
If you are using a slide advancer, get one with a built-in vibrating alarm. If you’re not, the best and often the most reliable way to keep on track is to ask for a signal light. This is where somebody in the audience, a friend or the organizer you have asked, will shine a light in your direction or give you a signal to let you know that your completion time is approaching. Some stages and conferences like TED have countdown clocks at the foot of the stage, but many still do not. It makes so much sense to have a clock on stage that it will become the accepted norm very quickly. Trust me, I know these things. Best prepare for it now.
Ideally, this signal will come with one or two minutes remaining, the exact amount of time necessary for your planned conclusion. The signal light can be something as simple as a smartphone, a laser pointer, or somebody waving a hand. Make sure you acknowledge that you saw the signal when preparing. Aim to finish a minute or more under at least. This will allow you time to incorporate elements we discussed in the last section like riffing or calling the room or reacting to something unexpected. Always plan to finish at least a minute under the imposed time limit.
Never End on Q&A
You finish your talk and the presenter takes back the mic. “Any questions for the speaker?” Awkward silence . . . “Anyone at all? Oh, you, sir, with your hand raised,” the host says with a newfound blast of enthusiasm akin to a fisherman who has just hooked a big fish.
“I just yawned.”
“Oh, sorry . . . anyone else? No? Nobody? Eh . . . right . . . okay then.” The presenter slips away awkwardly amid confused, sporadic applause. This is how their video clip will end. True viral YouTube gold, crowd alive with energy and inspiration and multiple speakers’ bureaus beating a path to your door. Not quite.
All too often speakers go out on a flat note because of this scenario. When you are expected to do a questions-and-answers session at the end of your talk, always save a summary slide to close with, ideally with three main takeaways. (There’s that number again!) As you approach the end of your talk, say, “Okay I am going to take a few questions before I make my conclusion.” This lets the audience know that you are not quite finished, keeps the Q&A shorter, and allows you to finish in a way that the audience knows it’s over. When they know it’s over they will applaud in unison. In leaving them with your main takeaways as a summary, you are also more likely to be remembered. Strong clapping in unison at the end will also mean better video.
Finally, make sure to soak up any applause. Stop talking and enjoy the moment. Only start speaking again when the applause begins to dwindle, and sometimes not even then. As Jerry told George in the classic 1998 Seinfeld episode, “The Burning”: “Showmanship, George. When you hit that high note, you say goodnight and walk off.”
Exercise: Timing and Delivery
Talk to the audience during your next public speaking engagement. Remember you are not there to give a theater performance. Engage the audience. They are more likely to pay attention if they think you may call on them at any moment.
Practice riffing and calling the room as you get more comfortable. Try and do this for at least one minute of your stage time allocation.
Practice making sure your talk comes in under the time limit. See what parts generate the biggest laughs and allow time for this and also riffing/calling the room. Ask for a signal light and get used to delivering a strong closing within the remaining time limit. One minute light, one minute closing; two minute light, two minute closing; et cetera. Know how long it takes you to make your closing remarks.
Run through your presentation in fast forward. Saying the words out loud as quickly as possible is a great technique to identify words and parts of your talk that may trip you up the day of your talk.
Break down each talk into components, record them, and know how long it takes to tell each (e.g., intro, pitch, additional details, story elements, numbers component, lessons, and main takeaways). Knowing the associated times for each part will help you craft the perfect performance. This also facilitates quickly making changes if your time slot is cut at the last minute, due to other speakers going over their time allocations. Trust me, it will happen sooner or later.
Actress, stand-up comic, philanthropist, and advocate for the disabled Maysoon Zayid delivers a hilarious and powerful TED talk called, “I Got 99 Problems . . . Palsy Is Just One.” Watch it and note as many as you can of the comedic techniques she uses that have been outlined in this book.