The flowers from Amanda and Mitch’s wedding still adorned the platform in the church. They were long gone on their honeymoon to Florida, while Kelsey sat in the pew next to her dad and Maria. Her mind was not on the sermon but full of the things that had happened last night.
Kelsey had no idea how she would face Jimmy, who was here somewhere. Even though he said he wouldn’t judge her, how could he not when she’d blurted out her tale of woe, then blubbered all over him?
She didn’t want to talk to him. She wanted to go far, far away and hide from the people she knew. But she couldn’t hide from God. She had failed to follow His principles, and now she was paying the price. She would have to figure out when and how to tell her dad about the mess she was in. So far today, she’d managed to conceal her morning sickness from her dad and Maria, who were also staying at Mitch’s place, but she couldn’t hide her pregnancy forever.
As soon as the church service ended, Kelsey excused herself and raced to the ladies’ room. She wet some paper towels and took them into the stall. She leaned against the side wall as she let the nausea pass. How long would she feel as though she would throw up at any moment? How soon before someone close to her figured out her condition?
When she came out of the restroom, Jimmy stood there smiling at her.
“I thought I might find you here.” He stepped closer.
Kelsey didn’t know whether to be annoyed or happy. That second emotion surprised her. He knew too much. “How are you this morning?”
“That’s probably what I should be asking you.”
“I’m fine.”
“Good. Do you have time to talk?”
Kelsey looked around for her dad. She spied him conversing with Mitch’s parents. “Not really. I have to drive Dad and Maria to the airport.”
“Then when you get back.”
“How did you know I’d be back?” She narrowed her gaze.
“You’ve lived in a small town. You know everyone knows everyone else’s business.” Jimmy grinned. “Mitch told me you’d be staying in their place to look after their puppy.”
Kelsey rolled her eyes. “Yeah. I can’t believe they got a dog just weeks before they got married.”
“How are you and the dog getting along?”
“Fine.” What would Jimmy say if he knew the dog had been her confidante before he was? He’d probably laugh. He had a way of cheering her up that she couldn’t explain.
“That’s good since you’ll be taking care of her for a week.”
“I just hope this warmer weather holds. It’s really cold back in Pullman.”
“I ordered this weather just for you.”
Kelsey lifted her eyebrows. “Like you can control the weather.”
“I didn’t say I controlled it. I said I ordered it. I’m just happy that the order came through.”
Kelsey laughed. She couldn’t help herself. She was pretty sure she knew what he wanted to talk about, but she would ask anyway. “So what do you want to discuss?”
He raised his eyebrows. “I think you know, and I figured you didn’t want me to say it out loud, right here?”
“Okay. Yeah, I got it.” Kelsey pressed her lips together. Talking about the weather and sharing a laugh wouldn’t change her circumstances. But what could he say that would help in any way? She just didn’t want to talk about it. “I don’t think we have anything more to say on the subject.”
“I do, and I hope you’ll listen.”
“I’ll think about it and give you a call when I get back from the airport.” Kelsey retrieved her phone from her purse. “Give me your number.”
“Sure.” Jimmy took her phone and input his contact information. “See you later.”
“Maybe.”
He gave her a no-nonsense look. “Whether you want to talk to me or not, I’m sure I’ll see you around.”
Kelsey stood there and watched Jimmy walk away. She should hear him out. He’d been a real help last night. She’d been embarrassed to talk to him today, but that didn’t give her an excuse to be rude or dismiss him. Whether she talked to him about her pregnancy or not, she had to see him and apologize after she got back.
Kelsey’s dad approached. “We’d better get going. Maria and I certainly don’t want to miss our plane. You never know about security in the airports these days.”
Kelsey hurried after her dad, then helped Maria get Noah into his car seat in the back. With her dad driving and Maria in the front, Kelsey sat in the backseat with her little brother, who was nearly four months old.
She couldn’t help thinking that in a year’s time, she would have a baby about this age. The prospect seemed unreal. Everything about her life felt like it should belong to someone else, not her. She didn’t want to think about what the future held, but being with her sweet baby brother only served to remind her that she carried her own child. She wanted the best for that child. What would it be?
The drive to the airport went quickly as they ate the sandwiches that Charlotte had packed for them. Kelsey was thankful she had no nausea.
After they pulled up to the departures lane, she hugged her dad, Maria, and Noah goodbye. “I’ll see you in a week.”
“Have fun babysitting that dog.” Grady winked. “I hope you don’t get lonely in a strange town.”
Maria gathered her things. “I don’t think she’ll be lonely. There was a certain young man who seemed very interested in your daughter.”
Grady frowned. “That’s what I’m afraid of. Don’t have too much fun.”
Kelsey tried to smile. “Thanks for the advice, Dad.”
He hugged her again. “We’ll pick you up at the airport next Sunday. Love you.”
“Love you, too.” Kelsey hopped back into the car before things got too mushy. She so didn’t want to disappoint her dad, but there was no getting away from the fact that she would.
On the drive back to Pineydale, Kelsey tried not to cry. She had a week to figure out how she was going to break the news of her pregnancy to her dad. Should she make sure Maria was present so he wouldn’t yell too much? Was that fair to Maria, who had often run interference between her husband and her stepdaughters?
As Kelsey neared Pineydale, she formulated her apology to Jimmy. Was he really interested in her, as Maria had said, or was he just being kind? The answer was obvious. What man would have an interest in some woman who was pregnant with another man’s child? But she couldn’t forget how he’d singled her out last fall. They’d had a great time together that evening.
After she arrived back at the house Kelsey would call home for a week, she let the dog out into the backyard. The golden retriever puppy, who was all feet, romped around on the grass.
“Come here, Dolly.”
The puppy stopped for a second and looked at Kelsey, but a moment later Dolly took off in a crazy circle around the bare-branched trees. Kelsey laughed and called the dog again. She came and sat at Kelsey’s feet. “Good dog.”
The puppy barked and took off again. A leash would be a good idea. Kelsey quickly found one in the enclosed back porch. She grabbed a jacket and managed to snap the leash onto the wriggling pup’s collar.
“Okay, Dolly, we’re off for a walk.”
Kelsey remembered seeing a park near the church. That would be a good place to walk the dog and to meet Jimmy. After she reached the park, where daffodils marched their golden trumpets across the landscape, she called Jimmy.
He answered on the third ring. “Hi. Back from the airport?”
“Yeah, I’m at the park, if you still want to talk.”
“Where in the park?”
“I’ll meet you at the big statue in the center.”
“Be there in a few minutes.”
Kelsey hung up and looked toward the monument as Dolly tugged on the leash. The dog was eager to get to their destination. Kelsey wasn’t so sure she was ready for this conversation. She wandered over to the concrete structure where the Stars and Stripes fluttered in the breeze. She read the inscription that honored veterans of several wars.
A few yards away a man and woman played with two little girls on the slide and swings. The sight made Kelsey think about her child. Would it be a boy or girl? Would she be a single mom or give the baby up for adoption? Could she bear to part with her own child? Would the baby have a better life with two parents rather than a single mother? There were too many questions she didn’t have answers for.
A bench sat on one side of the monument, and Kelsey plopped herself there to wait. The pup settled at her feet, as if she knew Kelsey’s mind was filled with troubling thoughts. She leaned over and patted Dolly on the head. “Good girl. No barking when Jimmy shows up. He’s our friend.”
A gray sedan pulled up to the curb on the far side of the park, the bright sun glinting off the windshield. Kelsey shaded her eyes in order to see the driver as he exited the car. Jimmy.
He had his hands stuffed into the pockets of his khaki jacket as he loped across the mostly brown grass in the park. The serious look on his face made Kelsey nervous. What was he going to say? She hoped this meeting wouldn’t be a mistake.
Her tail nearly wagging her body, Dolly leaped up as Jimmy drew near.
“Hi.” Jimmy barely looked at Kelsey as he leaned down and held out his hand for Dolly to sniff. Then he patted the dog’s head.
Looking at him, Kelsey swallowed the lump in her throat. “Hi.”
He settled beside her on the bench. “Have a good trip to the airport?”
“Yeah. Plane was on time, and everything was good.”
“Great.”
This conversation was stilted and too polite. She wanted to get right to the point and find out what he had to say. “So what did you want to talk about?”
“I’ve got a suggestion for you regarding your situation.” His Adam’s apple bobbed, and he didn’t look her in the eye.
Kelsey leaned back on the bench. He appeared more nervous than she was about this conversation, which surprised her. He always seemed so cocky, so sure of himself. “What’s your suggestion?”
He continued to look anywhere but at her. “Marry me, and I can be a father for your child.”
Stunned, Kelsey let his statement soak in. A dozen questions ran through her mind, like children in the park chasing after the same ball. She took a deep breath. “Why would you want to do that?”
“Because I want to help you.” He finally looked at her, then held up a hand. “Hear me out before you dismiss the idea.”
“Okay.” Kelsey gripped the dog’s leash tighter, as if doing so would steady her thoughts.
“I know this is a little crazy, but you don’t want to tell your family you’re pregnant, and I need a wife.”
“You need a wife? Whatever for?” Kelsey frowned.
“So I can fulfill one of my uncle’s job requirements.”
Kelsey narrowed her gaze. “Graham Cunningham is saying you have to get married to have a job?”
“Not exactly.” Jimmy went on to tell Kelsey about the discussion with Graham. “I have to give him my decision tomorrow. The college degree is something I want, and part of the compensation for the job includes college tuition. I messed up the first time I went to college. Partied too hard and flunked out. I’ve grown up a lot since then. I don’t have to have a wife on day one, but I don’t know where I’d find one in this town in the next year. Then you show up, needing a little help. It’s up to you. If we get married now, your pregnancy shouldn’t raise any eyebrows. I’m throwing it out there as an option if you want to take it.”
Kelsey couldn’t imagine accepting this offer even though it would solve the problem of not having to tell her family about the child she carried. Maybe. Would people eventually guess that she was pregnant before they got married? “How can we think about getting married when we barely know each other?”
“We’ve got the rest of this week to get to know each other.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah. The idea came to me last night when we were dancing. I decided to sleep on it. When I woke up this morning, it still seemed like a good solution to both of our problems.” Jimmy raised his eyebrows as he gazed at her.
Her heart did a little flip-flop at the prospect of being married to this man. How could she rush into a marriage for her own selfish reasons? Marriage was sacred, intended for people who loved each other. At least, that was what she’d always thought. People in other cultures got married for reasons other than love. Would that work for her and Jimmy?
But there was no way she could consider a real marriage. She just couldn’t be with a man—share a bed with him—when she didn’t love him. She’d already let love lead her into a big mistake. She didn’t want to make another one with a man she barely knew and certainly didn’t love. “I can’t give you an answer now.”
“That’s fair.” Jimmy placed an arm along the back of the bench. “I can understand your reluctance.”
“I don’t think you can begin to comprehend half of the doubts I have.” Kelsey stared straight ahead. “I can’t drop out of school. My dad would have a fit.”
“Sounds like your dad will be upset no matter what you do.”
Kelsey turned and looked at Jimmy. “Are you dumping on my dad?”
“Whoa. I’m just stating the obvious.” Jimmy held up his hands in a defensive gesture, then stood. “Maybe I’d better go. Your objections make it clear you aren’t interested in my suggestion. I won’t bother you again.”
Dolly whined as Jimmy walked away. Kelsey’s heart sank to her stomach. Had she just thrown away a chance to make a better life for her unborn child? Would Jimmy make a good father? One thing she did know. She had never apologized, as she had intended in the first place, and now she owed him another apology for shoving away his offer to help.
“Jimmy, wait.” Kelsey chased after him, Dolly barking at Kelsey’s heels.
He turned just before he reached his car, his expression grim. “Did I forget something?”
She stopped feet away from where he stood. “No, I did. I forgot to apologize for my behavior this morning, and I did it again just now. This whole thing is making me a bad person. I’m sorry. Can we start over?”
Jimmy took a step closer. “You aren’t a bad person. You’re just concerned about your future and have some big decisions to make. If you’re sure you want to start over, we can do that.”
“I’m sure. Thank you.”
“If you want, I’ll drive you home and we can discuss your reservations.” Jimmy opened the door for her.
“Okay.” Kelsey looked at Jimmy, then his car. “Is it okay for Dolly to ride in the back?”
“Sure. Let me help her into the car.” Jimmy held his hand out for the leash.
With Dolly settled in the backseat, Kelsey buckled her seat belt. She prayed this meeting would hold some solutions, not more mistakes. She should have been praying before, but God might not be listening.
***
Jimmy pulled his car to a stop in front of Mitch and Amanda’s house, then helped Kelsey get Dolly out of the back. He wished he were more confident about the outcome of this discussion. She had shot down his idea, and his ego had taken a big hit. He should’ve known his suggestion wouldn’t make her jump up and down with joy. But he had hoped it would give her a safe place to land.
They walked to the front door without saying a thing as Jimmy held Dolly’s leash. After they were inside, the awkward silence continued as he stood there, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket.
“You can sit down.” Kelsey motioned to the nearby chair, covered in a medium-brown fabric.
Jimmy plopped onto the chair, still afraid to say anything. He wanted to go through her concerns, but he didn’t know where to start. He was hoping she’d take the lead and ask a question. He had to get this thing going, or they might stare silently into space or talk about the dog.
“Tell me what bothers you about my proposal.” He held his breath while he waited for her answer.
“Everything.” She sat on the couch, perpendicular to the chair.
Shot down again. “That’s pretty broad. Can you narrow it down just for discussion’s sake?”
Her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know where to start.”
“That makes two of us.” Jimmy didn’t want to make her cry. He only wanted to help, but maybe he was making things worse.
Kelsey blinked rapidly. “Would you expect this to be a real marriage?”
A real marriage. He hadn’t thought that subject through. Was she saying she wasn’t interested in consummating the marriage? He was pretty sure that was what she meant, but he was afraid to ask. He rubbed a hand across his chin. “We don’t have to decide that now.”
“Maybe not this moment, but it has to be part of the decision.”
“Sure.” Here he’d thought he’d considered every aspect of his proposal, but he certainly hadn’t considered that one. This whole thing was going downhill fast. Maybe he’d thought she was more desperate to keep her pregnancy under wraps than she’d first indicated. Where did he go from here? “You mentioned finishing school.”
“Yeah, how am I supposed to do that if we get married now?”
“You can. We’ll get married, and you’ll go back to school just as you planned. When the semester ends, you can move to Pineydale and finish up your degree at ETSU over in Johnson City.”
“What’s ETSU?”
“East Tennessee State University. That’s where I’ll be finishing my degree, too.”
“But what if they don’t have the same course of study I’m pursuing?”
“Let’s look it up.”
“I’ll get my tablet.” Kelsey disappeared into the hallway.
His spirit a little lighter, Jimmy waited for her return. At least she was interested enough to check out the offerings at ETSU. She walked back into the room, her eyes trained on the tablet as she tapped the screen.
She sat back on the couch, then looked up at him. “Come sit by me.”
Jimmy smiled as he joined her. Maybe she was warming up to the idea. “What did you find?”
“My major is communication. ETSU has an advertising and PR major that looks similar. I’m sure to lose some credits, but maybe not too many.” She looked at him, her expression swimming with doubt.
“Maybe you can talk to someone in admissions to find out.”
“I suppose.” Kelsey shrugged. “Aren’t people going to think we’re crazy for jumping into marriage when we barely know each other?”
“They are.”
“Isn’t it all going to be a lie?”
“We’ll have a piece of paper that says we’re married. What’s the lie?”
“People will think we’re in love. That won’t be true. When it’s obvious that I’m pregnant, people will think the baby’s yours. That won’t be true. I don’t want to live a lie.”
Jimmy couldn’t dismiss her concerns. “Everything you’ve said is true, and I understand not wanting to live a lie. So that leaves you with having to tell your family that you’re pregnant. If that’s what you want to do, I’ll go now.”
“I don’t know what I want.” Kelsey’s voice came out in a strangled cry, and she buried her face in her hands.
“I seem to have made things worse.” Jimmy put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. He wished he could take away her pain and confusion. Something about her vulnerability created a soft spot in his heart.
She looked up at him, her eyes filled with anxiety. “No, don’t leave. I’ve made my own mess. Maybe I should just own up to it and suffer the consequences.”
“You could do that, but doesn’t your baby still need a father?”
“Why would you want to be a father to a child that isn’t yours?” A little pucker appeared between Kelsey’s eyebrows as she stared at him with those blue, blue eyes.
“Because I’m a good guy.” He grinned. “And I need a wife.”
Kelsey ran a hand through her hair. “I forgot about that part. But I’m sure you want a real wife, don’t you?”
A real wife. A real marriage. So they were back to that. Yeah, he wanted real, but maybe he would have to settle for convenience now with the hope of real later. Was that crazy? Had his uncle’s job offer made Jimmy reach for impossible dreams—dreams of a great job, a pretty wife, a baby, and respect in this community?
He wanted those things, but most people in this town still looked at him as someone who had frittered away respectability with reckless living. He’d ruined Mitch’s relationship with Whitney and damaged any hope of keeping her love while he’d earned a reputation for wrecking everything he touched. He’d finally made good with his painting company, and now he would give that up for a chance to prove himself in his uncle’s business.
“Well?” Kelsey lifted her chin.
Jimmy stared at her. How could he answer that? With honesty? Yeah, with honesty. “You’re right. I had counted on this being a real marriage.”
“I can’t. I’m sorry, Jimmy. I don’t love you. I don’t know you, and I just can’t be a real wife. It wasn’t a good experience with someone I loved, so how could it be good with someone I don’t love? And then this…” Kelsey shook her head, misery marring her pretty features as she held her hands out in front of her and looked down at her belly.
Jimmy wiped a hand down his face. He wanted to smash that Brandon character’s teeth in. Maybe the guy hadn’t actually raped Kelsey, but he’d taken advantage of an innocent young woman and made her first sexual experience something terrible. Jimmy couldn’t undo that, and he didn’t want to make it worse. “I wish I could—”
Kelsey put a finger to his mouth. “You can’t wish for the impossible.”
Her touch made him wish for the impossible, but she had made his ego a punching bag. She was turning him down flat. Why couldn’t he let this go? Couldn’t he find a wife somewhere else? Maybe if he tried hard enough, but he’d dated the few eligible women in this town, and none of them had suited. With a new job and school, when would he have time to develop a relationship, especially if he had to broaden his territory to surrounding communities?
Was marrying Kelsey an easy way out? No, but with Kelsey, he could start fresh. She didn’t know about any of the baggage he carried. He could do this right and show her that he could be a good husband and a good father and an upstanding man in the community. He would show his uncle that he wouldn’t be sorry he had hired Jimmy Cunningham, and Kelsey wouldn’t be sorry if she married him. And maybe, just maybe they would actually fall in love. He could definitely see that happening, at least on his part.
Jimmy took both of her hands in his. “I’m willing to take a gamble on you on your terms if you’ll take a gamble on me.”
“But what if we never fall in love? I don’t want that for either of us.”
“What’s not to love about Jimmy Cunningham?” He spread his arms open.
Kelsey laughed. “You do make me smile.”
“That’s a good start.” Jimmy remembered how his dad and mom had laughed together on so many occasions. His parents had laughed and loved a lot. Even now, Jimmy could see that happening with Kelsey. “What do you say? Can we at least give it a week before we dismiss the idea completely?”
Kelsey sighed. “Okay. I’ll give it this week.”
Jimmy couldn’t contain his smile. “And I think we should start with you meeting my family.”
“Meet the parents already?”
“We only have a week, and it’ll be meet my mom and my siblings and their families. My dad passed away several years ago from a heart attack.”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” Kelsey grimaced.
“That’s okay. You probably met most of my family at the wedding.”
“Or at least I shook hands with them in the receiving line. Mostly I was just trying not to throw up on someone, so I don’t remember many of the people I met.” Kelsey pressed her lips together in a grim expression.
“You made it through the wedding and most of the reception.”
Kelsey offered a sad little smile. “Thanks to you.”
“I only helped in the end.”
“That was enough.” She settled back on the couch with a contented sigh. “Tell me about your family.”
Jimmy didn’t want to admit how pleased her request made him. Should he even hope this was a good sign? “Sure. There’s my mom, Mary. I’m the oldest and have two sisters, Janelle and Jenna, and my little brother, Jeremy. I know you remember him because you danced with him.”
“I had no idea he’s your brother.” Kelsey grinned. “Guess your parents liked names that start with J.”
Jimmy chuckled. “Yeah, but I’m the only one who got a nickname. I was named after my dad. He was Jim, and I’m Jimmy. I thought maybe once I was grown, people would call me Jim. No, it’s still Jimmy.”
“You don’t like being called Jimmy?”
“I’ve learned to live with it.”
“What about James?”
“Yeah, that’s my given name, but no one ever called me or my dad James. That was my grandpa.” Jimmy smiled wryly. “My full name is James Madison Cunningham the Third.”
Kelsey raised her eyebrows. “Named after a president. That’s quite a handle.”
“Yeah. I don’t go around advertising that name. Guess I should be happy with Jimmy.”
Kelsey laughed. “I like your name. Whichever one you choose.”
“That’s good because you might soon be Mrs. James Madison Cunningham.”
“That’s a mouthful.” Kelsey giggled. “But that remains to be seen.”
Jimmy loved the sound of her laughter. Her happiness brightened his mood. Wow! He was already getting too caught up in this woman. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, but he had better get out of here now before he did something he would regret later, like kiss her.
Jimmy jumped up from the couch. “I’d better get going. I’ve got some accounting to do for my business.”
“Okay.” With Dolly traipsing along, Kelsey joined him as he headed to the door.
Before he left, he stopped to look at her. His pulse skittered, and he swallowed hard. She was doing crazy things to him. “I’ll come by around five and pick you up. My mom has the whole clan over on Sunday evenings, so you’ll get to meet the entire crew.”
“Okay.” Uncertainty clouded her expression. “See you then.”
The closing of the door sounded in his ears as he jogged to his car. Despite her obvious hesitation, Kelsey had agreed to meet his family. How would they react if he suddenly married her?
As he drove by his great-aunt Charlotte’s house, he thought about her advice and how he’d gone home to pray. He’d prayed that night, but he’d let his busy life push prayer time aside again.
His thoughts about Kelsey should have been a matter of prayer from the beginning, but he’d failed to talk to God about her. Was it because a marriage based on a bargain might not find favor with God? Even if Jimmy made this decision a matter of prayer, how was he supposed to know God’s plan?
Jimmy wished prayer had been a regular routine in his life, but it hadn’t even though he had renewed his commitment to the Lord. Being more in touch with God would certainly help Jimmy recognize His answer. Jimmy’s best shot was to lay it out before God, and if Kelsey agreed to get married at the end of the week, that was what he would do.