The next morning Kelsey awakened once again in Jimmy’s arms. Talk about not observing the boundaries. Did he wear some kind of magnet that drew her to him? Maybe it was just the warmth of another body in the bed that she gravitated toward. At least this time he was still asleep.
Hoping not to wake him, she slowly extracted herself from his embrace. Success. She lay on her side of the bed and watched him sleep. His nose wasn’t swollen, but she couldn’t mistake the black eye or the slight discoloration on his lower lip. Her heart fluttered as his chest rose and fell with each breath.
Whenever she was around him, she was in a constant state of confusion. He was funny, charming, and handsome. He made her pulse race with a wink. Was that love or something else? After her experience with Brandon, she couldn’t trust her own instincts. She barely knew Jimmy, so how could she love him?
After this weekend she would have a month of nightly video calls in which to get to know him without his physical presence getting in the way. Then again, how could she get to know someone with a few minutes of video calls? She chided herself. She didn’t have to know all the answers now. They had time to get to know each other before the baby came.
Jimmy opened his eyes and looked at her. “Hey, Rocky, did you get enough sleep?”
“You just can’t help yourself when it comes to teasing me, can you?” Kelsey tried not to smile, but she couldn’t help herself.
He chuckled. “Like I said, you’re so easy to tease. What time is it?”
Kelsey sat up on the edge of the bed and pointed to the clock on the bedside table. “After nine. I’m pretty sure everyone else is up. Noah gets up pretty early.”
“Guess we did sleep in. Your folks won’t mind, will they?”
“Dad did say we could sleep in.”
“Then I guess we’re okay.” Jimmy grinned. “How do I look this morning?”
“Not bad for a guy with a black eye and a fat lip.”
Jimmy frowned. “I have a black eye?”
Kelsey reached over to touch his face, then withdrew her hand. “Okay to touch you?”
“As long as you don’t poke it.”
“Your face is a little purple right here under your eye.” Kelsey barely brushed a finger above his cheekbone. “Did that hurt?”
“No, it’s okay.” He cocked his head as he stared at her. “You’re good this morning? No morning sickness?”
“I’m good.” Better than good.
She liked being here with him. He made her feel safe. Did that mean love? So what if it did, but he didn’t love her? She didn’t have to figure any of this out today. She should enjoy this weekend with Jimmy. After all, he was her best friend. She would enjoy that aspect of their relationship and figure the rest out later.
“Do you mind if I use the bathroom first?”
He gestured across the room. “Ladies first.”
“Thanks.” Kelsey hopped out of bed.
She glanced at herself in the mirror as she went into the bathroom. She ran her fingers through her hair. She had bed head, and she’d looked like that when she’d been sitting there talking to Jimmy. Not the way to impress your husband.
After she showered and put on a light coral ribbed-knit sweater and a pair of jeans, she padded back into the bedroom as she fluffed her still-damp hair. Jimmy lay on the bed as he read something on his phone. She wanted to ask what he was reading, but she didn’t want him to think she was nosy. Would he care or not? More stuff to figure out.
“The bathroom’s yours.” Her heart fluttered when he looked her way. She swallowed hard.
“Great.” Laying his phone on the bedside table, he got up. He grabbed his things and disappeared into the bathroom.
Wondering about Jimmy’s non-talkative mood, Kelsey fretted that he was wounded in more ways than the physical. She should learn to take his teasing as he meant it. All in fun. This was part of getting to know each other. The scary part was having done everything backward. But then she’d been more afraid of living with her father’s disappointment and condemnation than marrying a man she barely knew.
She wandered into the kitchen and found Maria making Noah laugh while she made funny faces at him. Every time Kelsey was around her little brother, she couldn’t help thinking about her own baby. Would it be a boy or a girl? Now that the nausea had subsided substantially, Kelsey often forgot she was pregnant. Everything was normal until that nausea occasionally hit her unexpectedly.
“Hi, Noah.”
Both the baby and Maria looked in Kelsey’s direction.
“Well, you’re finally up.” Maria smiled.
“Yeah. It was nice to sleep in. I don’t get to do that much at school.”
“Did you sleep well?”
Kelsey nodded but wondered whether Maria thought the newlyweds hadn’t done a lot of sleeping. “When did Noah wake up?”
Maria laughed. “We all slept in, even this little guy. Your dad’s gone to the bakery to get those fabulous cinnamon rolls for breakfast.”
“Yum. I haven’t had those since Christmas.”
“Where’s Jimmy? Still sleeping?”
“No. He’s getting dressed.”
Maria picked up Noah and put him on a mat in the adjoining family room. “It’s tummy time.”
“He’s getting so big.” Kelsey sat on the barstool and watched her little brother.
Maria poured herself a cup of tea. “Would you like some?”
Kelsey shook her head. “I’ll wait for the cinnamon rolls and have a glass of milk.”
“You don’t usually drink milk.” Maria gave Kelsey a questioning look.
“I just like it with cinnamon rolls.” Kelsey definitely wasn’t ready to tell anyone she was pregnant. She didn’t intend to say anything until she had moved to Pineydale, and even then she wasn’t sure when she would make it known.
Maria patted Kelsey on the arm. “I just wanted to tell you how happy your dad is that you and Jimmy are here to share the holiday with us. I know he wouldn’t tell you himself.”
“I’m glad Jimmy is here, too.” Kelsey realized how much she meant that. She had missed him when she didn’t even know it. She wondered whether her dad had said anything about Jimmy or their marriage. What would her dad say when he saw Jimmy’s black eye?
Maria smiled. “You know your dad was the one who arranged for Jimmy to come, don’t you?”
“It was such a shock when he showed up, but a nice surprise.” Kelsey had to admit that every part of her statement was true. Having Jimmy by her side brightened her life. “I was shocked because Dad didn’t seem too pleased when we called him and told him we’d gotten married.”
“He wasn’t. He ranted around the house for days. He wanted to check out this guy who had married his little girl.” Maria took a sip of her tea, then set the cup on the counter.
Kelsey swallowed hard. “Has Dad said anything more about our marriage since Jimmy’s been here?”
“Not much, but I think he sees how much you love each other. He’s coming around a little, but he probably won’t tell you that either.”
So her dad thought she and Jimmy were in love. That was a good thing. “Yeah, I know Dad. He’s pretty tight lipped when it comes to stuff like that. Thanks for letting me know.”
Maria hugged Kelsey. “Anytime. I need to tell you and Amanda more often how much you mean to me.”
“And you to us.” Kelsey hugged Maria back. “The best part is the way you made our family whole again.”
“I believe that was God’s doing. He brought us together.”
Jimmy roamed into the room, his hair still wet from his shower. His appearance made Kelsey’s heart trip.
“What happened to you?” Maria frowned.
Jimmy looked at Kelsey. “You didn’t warn them about your left hook?”
Maria’s gaze darted between Jimmy and Kelsey. “What’s he talking about?”
“He’s teasing me because I had a nightmare and accidentally gave him a black eye, a bloody nose, and a fat lip.”
“That must’ve been some dream!” Maria gazed at Jimmy. “Do you need anything for those wounds?”
Chuckling, Jimmy shook his head. “No. Kelsey doctored me last night.”
Before anyone could comment further, the sound of the garage door opening let them know Grady was home.
Kelsey hurried toward the door leading from the garage to the kitchen. “I can smell the cinnamon rolls already.”
Grady walked through the door, a box in his hands. He stopped for a second and gave Kelsey a peck on the cheek. “Good morning, sleepyhead. Did you sleep well?”
“Obviously not.” Maria gestured toward Jimmy. “I just found out she was beating up Jimmy in the night.”
Grady set the box on the counter and looked Jimmy’s way. “What?”
Grimacing, Jimmy glanced at Kelsey. “You want to tell your dad about your famous left hook?”
Kelsey glared at Jimmy as she put her hands on her hips. “Will you quit teasing about that?”
Jimmy put an arm around her waist and pulled her close for a quick kiss. “You know how I love to tease you.”
“Yes, I do.”
“So would someone like to explain?” Grady asked.
Kelsey turned to her dad. “I had a really bad dream last night. In the dream I was trying to beat up a guy who stabbed Jimmy. Instead, I was actually waving my arms around in my sleep and whacked Jimmy in the face.”
“So you were beating up on your husband when you thought you were beating up the guy in your dream?”
Kelsey nodded as she held her breath.
Grady burst out laughing as he ran a hand through the air. “I can just see the headline now. Wife beats up husband after mistaking him for the bad guy in her dream.”
Kelsey frowned and glared at her dad, then Jimmy. “Okay, you two, quit teasing me.”
Jimmy put an arm around her shoulders. “I thought you told me your dad doesn’t tease.”
“He doesn’t.” Kelsey frowned at her dad. “You never do that.”
Grady was still grinning. “Sorry, honey. I just remember the last time you did that.”
“What?” Kelsey’s frown deepened.
“Yeah, when you were about five, not long after your mother died, you had a nightmare. You came crying into my room. I held you and rubbed your little back until you quit crying. You were afraid to go back to your room, so I let you stay there with me. I planned to take you back to your bed as soon as you fell asleep, but I fell asleep, too, and the next thing I knew, you were thrashing about and clocked me in the eye, then my nose.”
“How come I don’t remember this?” Kelsey asked.
“Because you were five. It was probably something you didn’t want to remember, and neither did I.” Grady turned to Jimmy. “So you’re not the first guy she’s beat up.”
Jimmy glance at her sideways. “Do I dare laugh?”
Kelsey waved a hand at her dad and Jimmy. “Okay. Go ahead and laugh at my expense.”
“Ah, Kelsey, you know we love you.” Grady enveloped Kelsey in his arms. “You just have a bad habit of beating up people in your sleep. I won’t laugh anymore.”
“I love you, too.” Kelsey hugged her dad back and wondered if Jimmy would take a clue and hug her, too.
As soon as she stepped out of her dad’s embrace, Jimmy drew closer, a question in his eyes. “Do you forgive me for teasing you too much?”
Smiling, Kelsey nodded.
“Good. Your dad’s right. We love you.” Jimmy gently pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
Kelsey melted into his embrace, his arms giving her comfort, his kiss curling her toes. If only it weren’t for show. If only those words about love were for her and not a ruse for her dad and Maria. When Jimmy ended the kiss, Kelsey stepped away, her legs shaky.
She stared at Jimmy as her previous thought ran through her mind. If only those words about love were for her and not a ruse. Did that mean she wanted his love because she loved him? Was that why she didn’t want his kisses to end or why she wound up next to him in the bed whenever they slept together? In her confusion she couldn’t answer that question.
“Let’s dig into those cinnamon rolls.” Trying to forget Jimmy’s kindness and his kisses, Kelsey opened the box. “These look so good.”
Maria quickly passed out plates, and soon they were eating and laughing. Kelsey couldn’t remember when her dad had seemed so relaxed. She could tell he liked Jimmy. They were two very different men, but they seemed to get along. She liked that Jimmy fit into her family just as she had fit into his.
How would she feel when she moved to Pineydale? Unlike Amanda, Kelsey had never been far from home. She attended Washington State University a little more than two hours away. Would she be homesick, or would having Amanda nearby keep that from happening? Kelsey glanced at Jimmy, and he winked at her. She knew at that moment he would be the reason she wouldn’t be homesick.
***
On Monday as Jimmy packed his suitcase, he thought about the weekend that had gone faster than he’d ever thought possible. Saturday they’d spent the day on a sightseeing trip through Pend Oreille County. That evening they’d had dinner at a restaurant somewhere along the way. Jimmy hadn’t been exactly sure where, but because Grady had insisted on eating there, Jimmy had no chance to take Kelsey on a date.
Easter Sunday had given Jimmy the opportunity to meet the folks at the church that Kelsey had attended since she’d moved to Pinecrest when she was eight years old. After church Grady’s brother, Clay, and his wife, Beth, and their two kids, Alex and Abby, had come over for Easter dinner. That evening had been filled with games, conversation, and laughter. As Jimmy had interacted with Kelsey’s friends and relatives, he’d wondered how she felt about leaving this community behind.
He hated the idea of leaving Kelsey and wished he could take her back with him. This time with her only served to remind him that he was in love with his wife, but she only saw him as her best friend. Best friend. Boy next door. Buddy.
Could he live with that? He had to. He didn’t have a choice.
“Hey, Jimmy.”
Jimmy looked up to find Grady standing in the doorway to the bedroom. “If you’re done packing, I’d like a word with you while the women are gone.”
“Just about done.” Jimmy didn’t miss the serious expression on Grady’s face. What did that mean? Things had gone well with his father-in-law, but maybe that was only wishful thinking, too.
“When you’re finished, come out back to the deck.”
“Sure.” Jimmy wasn’t sure what his father-in-law wanted, but the expression on the man’s face didn’t give Jimmy a good feeling. Had he read things wrong this weekend? Or had Grady somehow guessed the marriage was a sham?
As Jimmy made his way toward the deck, he wished Kelsey were here. She had volunteered to accompany Maria to the store. What if Grady started asking questions that would reveal the reason for their marriage?
Despite the chill in Jimmy’s heart, the spring sunshine warmed the deck.
Grady sat on one of the deck chairs as Jimmy approached. “Jimmy, have a seat. It’s a nice spring day.”
“It is, sir.” Jimmy sat on the nearby chair. “Thank you for having me in your home.”
“You’re welcome.” Grady sat there and didn’t say anything for what seemed like a long time.
Birds chirped in the nearby pine trees. A sure sign of spring. Jimmy wished Grady would say something. Good, bad, or indifferent.
Finally Grady cleared his throat. “I’d like to be completely honest with you. As you might recall, I wasn’t exactly happy when you and Kelsey got married. I thought it was a foolish thing.”
“Yes, sir. I understand.” Jimmy swallowed hard.
“You don’t understand everything.” Grady eyed him. “You see, when I married Kelsey’s mother, we were very young, and we didn’t know what love was, and I worried that you and Kelsey were following in our footsteps. I’ve never told either of my girls the things I’m about to tell you, and I don’t want you to repeat it to anyone. I trust you to do that.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I just want you to understand where I’m coming from.”
Jimmy had no idea what Grady was going to say, but it didn’t sound good. “Okay.”
“Before my wife Nina was killed in an auto accident, our marriage was troubled. Mostly my fault. I spent too much time at work and not enough time with my family.”
Jimmy wondered where this confession was going. Why was his father-in-law saying things to him that he’d never said to his own daughters? Jimmy wished Kelsey were here to rescue him.
“I see the way you are with Kelsey, and that sets my mind at ease. You love her, but don’t forget to spend time with her once she gets to Pineydale. I understand you’re taking college classes as well as working for a very demanding boss.” Grady raised his eyebrows. “Don’t do what I did. Don’t neglect time with Kelsey. Take care of my little girl. I want her to be as happy years down the road as she is now.”
Jimmy swallowed hard, knowing only half of Grady’s assessment was true. “Yes, sir. I will do my best to make Kelsey happy. I love her very much.”
“I don’t doubt it. Loving each other is good, but it also takes hard work to make a marriage last. It’s not always sunshine and roses. There are storms, and those roses have thorns.” Grady stood. “Be prepared to deal with those, too.”
“I lost my dad a number of years ago, so I appreciate the advice.” Jimmy stood and extended his hand.
Grady shook Jimmy’s hand. “Any time you need a sounding board, feel free to call on me. Women can be a puzzle, but I hope you can learn from my mistakes.”
Jimmy motioned toward the garage. “I think I hear a car.”
“You do.” Grady glanced at his watch. “The ladies have returned, and it’s about time for Kelsey to take you to the airport. We’d better head inside and see if they need any help with the groceries.”
While they brought in the grocery bags, Jimmy kept thinking how good it had felt to declare his love for Kelsey to her father, but Jimmy couldn’t tell her. Not until she was ready to hear it.
After the groceries were put away, Kelsey looked at Jimmy. “I’ve got my stuff to take back to Pullman, and I’m ready to take you to the airport.”
“I’m packed. All I have to do is put my bag in your car.”
Maria walked into the room. “And Noah has awakened from his morning nap just in time to say goodbye.”
Kelsey went over and took Noah from Maria’s arms. “You be good for your mommy, little man.”
Noah cooed, and Kelsey snuggled her little brother. Jimmy thought ahead to when Kelsey would have her own baby to snuggle. He would be that child’s father, not biologically but in every other sense. He would do that for Kelsey.
Jimmy held out a finger to Noah, and the baby grabbed hold. “You got a good grip there, buddy.”
Kelsey stuck out her lower lip. “I’m going to miss seeing this little guy when I move to Tennessee.”
“We can always do video calls.” Maria hugged Kelsey. “I know you do those with Jimmy.”
Kelsey nodded. “It does keep us in touch when we’re apart.”
Jimmy put himself in Kelsey’s place as he saw what she would leave behind when she came to Pineydale. He felt the real responsibility of giving her a place to call her own. His father-in-law’s words echoed in Jimmy’s mind. He’d let his father down with reckless behavior. Jimmy vowed not to disappoint his father-in-law.
After hugs, kisses, and handshakes, Kelsey and Jimmy were on their way. For the first few minutes of the drive, she didn’t say anything. His desire to please her made him a chicken when it came to talking to her. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing or ask the wrong question. Could he summon the cocky, assured Jimmy Cunningham, or was it better to just remain silent?
The coward in him chose silence as he pulled some work-related material from his carry-on bag. He tried to study it, but he couldn’t concentrate. All he could think about was Kelsey.
As they neared the airport in Spokane, Kelsey glanced his way, then returned her attention to the road. “So we survived the weekend. How does it feel?”
Sad because he hated to leave her. Did she want to hear that? “Good now that my fat lip has gone back to normal.”
She tried to glare at him, but a smile emerged instead. “You couldn’t resist, could you?”
“No.” Jimmy grinned as he stowed his reading material in his backpack. He loved that smile. Teasing her was the only way he could keep himself from telling her how much he loved her. What would he do when she shared his house?
“That’s okay. I’m kind of getting used to it. I’ll miss your teasing.”
The bigger question: Would she miss him? “I’ll be sure to think of some things to tease you about when we have our video calls.”
“Yeah. I wouldn’t want you to get out of practice.” Kelsey gave him another sideways glance. “You and my dad seemed to get along pretty well.”
“That’s what I thought. I was sweating bullets about meeting your dad, but it turned out better than I imagined it would.” Jimmy remembered her father’s advice about giving Kelsey the attention she deserved.
“What did you guys talk about while we were gone?”
“Just guy stuff.” Jimmy changed the subject. “Are you missing classes today?”
“Yeah, but I got a couple of friends to get the assignments, and they’ll let me look over their notes. When do you start classes?”
“Since I’m working, I’m going to be doing a lot of those online. I have one that starts in May and goes through the summer. The rest start in the fall.”
“So we’ll both be studying next fall.”
“And you’ll be having a baby.”
Kelsey didn’t respond to his statement. He didn’t know what to think of her silence. “Do you have a due date?”
Kelsey shook her head. “I haven’t seen a doctor yet.”
“Why?”
“I don’t see the point when I’ll be leaving.” She averted her gaze. “I’ll see someone after I move to Pineydale. I’ll have to find a doctor there anyway.”
“Okay.” Jimmy wasn’t sure what to make of her reluctance to see a doctor. “My sisters can give you the name of their doctor.”
“You don’t have to worry about it. I’ll figure that out when I get there.” Kelsey gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. “I’m not ready to tell people I’m pregnant. Okay?”
“Okay. I just want to make sure you take care of yourself.”
“I will.”
“When my sisters were pregnant, they had to take special vitamins and supplements.”
“It’s okay, Jimmy. You don’t have to worry. It’s not your baby anyway.”
That was harsh. He’d never heard her talk like that. When he thought back over their conversations, he realized she rarely talked about her pregnancy unless she couldn’t avoid it. She obviously didn’t want to talk about it now, and she didn’t want his advice.
Her reticence stumped him. She was married now. No one would question the fact that she was pregnant. Why didn’t she want to discuss it with him? It wasn’t like he was going to tell anyone her secret.
Kelsey drove onto the road leading to the airport. When she stopped the car in the departures area, she finally looked his way. Tears welled in her eyes.
“Kelsey, what’s wrong?”
She pressed her lips together. She blinked, and a tear rolled down each cheek.
Jimmy reached over and wiped them away with his thumbs. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Her breath hitched. “Everything. Just everything. I don’t want to have this baby.”
Jimmy stared at her. Did that mean she didn’t want to be married to him either? “Are you sorry we got married?”
“I don’t know.” She sniffled. “This weekend was hard. All that pretending. I’m just thinking about how things will be in Pineydale. More and more pretending. It was hard enough getting through a few days, how can I keep doing…” She covered her mouth with her hand.
Her unfinished sentence socked him in the gut. He didn’t understand. She had seemed relatively happy this weekend. Had he said or done something to make things worse? He couldn’t come up with any words of encouragement. Everything he thought of sounded trite or meaningless.
Helpless. The word pounded in his brain.
She hung her head as she continued to grip the steering wheel. They couldn’t stay parked here for long.
“Kelsey?”
She looked over at him, her eyes still welling with tears. She swiped a hand across her face but didn’t say anything, just stared at him.
He was tempted to get his bags and just walk into the airport and out of her life. But he loved her. He had promised to struggle alongside her, cry with her, and support her dreams. He remembered Grady’s comment about marriage being work. But what if she was considering an abortion again? He couldn’t support that.
He glanced at his phone. He still had plenty of time before he had to go through security. He had to find out what was going through her mind. This was no time to be a coward.
“Kelsey, I’d like to park the car somewhere and talk before I leave. I need to understand why you’re so upset. If you don’t want to, I’ll get out now and walk away. I won’t bother you anymore, and you can do with this marriage what you’d like. I won’t fight you.”
She jerked her head in his direction, her eyes wide. “Don’t leave me.”
Her plea lightened Jimmy’s heart, but at the same time, he heard her pain. At least she didn’t tell him to go. “Will you please park the car in the parking garage?”
She nodded and took the road that led back to the garage. After taking a ticket, she pulled into a spot and shut off the engine. She didn’t look at him, just sat there holding the steering wheel as she had done when they were parked in front of the terminal.
Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck and tried to figure out what he wanted to say. He wished he’d managed to figure that out while they’d been driving around to the garage, but he couldn’t corral his thoughts. They were scattered like cattle over the range.
“Will you tell me how you’re feeling?”
She encircled the steering wheel with her arms and laid her head there. “I told you. I don’t want this baby. I don’t want to pretend that our marriage is real.”
“So what do you want to do about that?”
She lifted her head and looked at him, misery covering her face. “I can’t do what I want to do. It wouldn’t be right.”
“Are you saying you wish you could have an abortion?” Jimmy’s heart hammered as he waited for her answer.
She nodded and immediately looked away. “I know I shouldn’t be thinking that. It’s wrong. I think that’s why I keep putting off seeing a doctor. A doctor will confirm my pregnancy. Right now I keep wishing it isn’t real. That there’s no baby. But if I see the ultrasound and hear the heartbeat, I won’t be able to deny it.”
Jimmy wanted to take Kelsey in his arms and make everything right, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know what it was like to be as troubled and torn as she was, not even when he’d been living a life of debauchery. He’d seen pretty clearly he was on the wrong path, and once he’d made a change, he never once thought of going back.
Even though they were married, she was fighting with herself over what to do about this baby. If Jimmy ever came face to face with Brandon, Jimmy was afraid of what he might be tempted to do. This weekend he’d seen the young woman he remembered from last fall, not the tortured soul sitting in this car with him.
“Can you tell me what’s changed since you told me I’m your best friend? What’s changed since we read our vows together and prayed together the other night?”
She appeared to be fighting back more tears as she blinked. “I was sitting in church yesterday listening to the Easter sermon and was reminded of Jesus’s sacrifice. And here I am living a lie.”
Kelsey was like a dog chasing its tail. She was going around and around in circles and making no progress. He’d come to grips with this marriage, pretense and all. He was ready to fight for it, but then he was in love with her. Obviously, she didn’t feel the same way about him, and that was the problem. She had no emotional investment.
Jimmy sighed, her unhappiness chipping away at his emotions. “You continue to be troubled with the same things. You have to make a decision one way or the other. You’re either going to go forward with this marriage and live with the decisions we’ve made about it and this baby. Or you can call it quits and do whatever you’d like. I won’t stand in your way.”
Agony marred her pretty face. “I’m afraid. Afraid of having this baby. Afraid I can’t keep up the pretense. Afraid I’ll bring you down with me.”
Jimmy thought of one or two Scriptures that might be helpful. Like the one about being able to do things through Christ’s strength or the one about Jesus never forsaking you. Who would have ever thought Jimmy Cunningham would be contemplating the use of Bible verses when dishing out advice?
He was sure Kelsey didn’t want him to preach to her. He could pray—pray that she wouldn’t do something she’d regret, something that would only add to her guilt and render their marriage useless.
“I thought we had a good time this weekend. I thought things between us were good. That we were going to work on our relationship with a look toward the future.” He had thought she was making progress, but today she was right back at the starting line.
She buried her face in her hands and sat like that for several moments. When she looked at him, there were no tears, no expression, and no life in her eyes. His heart sank, taking his dreams with it.
“Remember—you told me I was your best friend. Best friends are there for you to lean on. I’m here to help you with whatever you’re going through.” Even though he’d thought about walking away, he wouldn’t. He would live up to the vows he’d taken, even if they didn’t include love.
“I feel sorry for you. Now my mess is your mess.”
“I’m not sorry about marrying you.” He wanted more than anything to tell her how much he loved her, but in her frame of mind, he was afraid it would be the worst thing he could do. He didn’t know how he could leave her in the state she was in, but he had a job in Pineydale. She had college classes to attend.
He glanced at his phone. “Kelsey, I have to catch my flight. Please promise me you won’t do anything without talking to me first. Please.”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she stared at him. “Okay. Call me when you get home.”
“You can count on it.” Her request took away some of his worry. “Just remember. I’m your best friend, and I want the best for you.”
“I know you do.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry I’m such a blubbering mess of crazy roller-coaster emotions. You’ve been so patient with me. You deserve a medal.”
“What I deserve is a hug, and you need one, too.”
A little smile escaped as she looked at him. “That might be just what we both need.”
“Good.” Jimmy opened the car door and stepped out. “I’m coming to collect that hug after I get my bag.”
As he pulled his suitcase out of the trunk, Kelsey met him at the back of the car. He set his bag on the ground, then slammed the trunk shut. He prayed Kelsey wouldn’t slam the door shut on their marriage. He wanted a chance to give her the love she deserved.
Jimmy held out his arms and breathed a sigh of relief when she stepped into them. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held him tight, as if he was a lifesaver in the storm of her life’s chaos. He wanted to be her lifesaver, but God was the one who could truly help her. Jimmy would pray that she would see that truth and cling to it.
Finally she stepped away and gazed up at him. “Thank you for putting up with my crazy mood swings.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” Jimmy hoped that was all this was. Pregnancy mood swings. But he didn’t want them to lead her down a path of regret. More than ever he wished she were going back with him now, not in four weeks.
“I don’t think you signed on for this.”
“I signed on for whatever this marriage brings.”
Kelsey didn’t say another word, just threw her arms around him again. “You are too good to be true.”
This hug was real. There was no audience to convince, no one here to pretend for. She clung to him as if she didn’t want to let go. He would take the feel of her arms around him all the way back to Pineydale. He would remember this hug every day and pray for more just like it.