Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice;
it is not a thing to be waited for,
it is a thing to be achieved.
William Jennings Bryan
There was a really interesting programme on TV a few years ago about the different choices people make in response to similar events. It highlighted two sets of parents who had lost their daughters in the downing of Pan Am flight 103 at Lockerbie. Same dreadful incident — same tragic loss — and yet they had chosen very different responses. One set of parents had put all their energy into grappling with the legal system and canvassing the US government to bring the bomber to justice, while the others had set up a charitable foundation in their daughter’s memory to help other bereaved families. The difference in demeanour between the two couples was quite startling: the first appeared consumed with bitterness and the quest for revenge, while the second seemed to have found some sort of peace by channelling their grief into something they felt was worthwhile.
At times when events and life feel overwhelming — when negativity threatens to take over — it can be very reassuring to remind ourselves that each one of us ultimately possesses the power of choice. It’s a well-known maxim, for example, that while we have no power over the way others behave towards us, we have absolute power of choice over the way we react.
Coach Michael Neill has a great take on this. He suggests that whenever we find ourselves caught up in negative thinking, we apply the concept of a ‘train of thought’ literally. In other words, if you find yourself spiralling into negative thinking (a negative train of thought) simply choose to get off the train. Trains go in lots of different directions… if you don’t like where your train of thought is heading, choose to get off and find one that’s going in a more positive direction.
It’s so simple — and so clever. The power of choice. Just get off the train.
Whenever I have to choose between two evils, I always like
to try the one I haven’t tried before.
Mae West
How you choose to respond each moment to the movie of
life determines how you see the next frame, and the next,
and eventually how you feel when the movie ends.
Doc Childre