Tip 32: ‘Doing a Scarlett’

The distance is nothing;
it’s only the first step that is difficult.

Marquise du Deffand

Do you develop an Ostrich Mentality when you have an issue weighing on your mind or a difficult decision to make? You know you ought to face it head on, but it’s so much easier to bury your head in the sand and make yourself super-busy as a way to avoid having to think about it.

I call this Doing a Scarlett, because Scarlett O’Hara exhibited exactly the same mind-set in the final scene of the movie Gone with the Wind. When Rhett Butler finally leaves her, she cries in her fabulous Southern drawl: I can’t let him go. I can’t. There must be some way to bring him back. Oh, I can’t think about that right now! I’ll go crazy if I do! I’ll think about it tomorrow.

It’s often so much easier to think about it tomorrow than face it today. But you can’t get away from the fact that the issue is still there. Every now and again it will creep into your mind, your heart will sink, your energy will drain just a little but it still feels easier to avoid it by finding some easy, routine task that absolutely has to be done — immediately! That way you can put off the issue just a bit longer. Until the next time it resurfaces.

As with all forms of procrastination, we’re not avoiding the issue itself — we’re avoiding taking the first step towards dealing with it. So if you find yourself Doing a Scarlett and avoiding an issue in your life, try this exercise:

Sit down with a pen and some paper. Write your issue, challenge or a decision you need to make as a heading at the top of the page. Set a timer for five minutes and just start writing. It doesn’t matter if what you write doesn’t make sense — it doesn’t matter if it’s full of spelling mistakes. Nobody else has to read it. The key is to get your thoughts out of your head and down on paper.

When the timer goes off after five minutes stop writing and look back over what you’ve written. Underline or highlight anything you feel is important or relevant.

The crucial thing is that you’ve started the ball rolling. The issue is no longer an amorphous, undefined fog in your head — it’s started to take shape and you’ve taken the first step to face it and deal with it. Hopefully this will give you the impetus you need to get to grips with the problem.

QUESTION: What are YOU avoiding – right now?

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare;
it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.

Seneca

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The greatest amount of wasted time
is the time not getting started.

Dawson Trotman