Tip 51: Christmas Stress Survival Kit

I don’t know the key to success,
but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby

The holiday season is upon us — the cash tills are ringing — the car parks are chocka — the shops are heaving — and stress levels are rising. Christmas is such an important event in our calendar, but over the years it seems to have become increasingly stressful, and for some the day itself is regarded with an apprehension verging on dread.

For perfectionists this time of year can be a real nightmare as the Need To Do Things Perfectly swings into overdrive. Advertising induces huge pressure to roll out the perfect Christmas: perfect gifts — perfect parties — how to cook the perfect turkey … It’s relentless.

So here are a few ideas which may help to ease the stress and allow you some space to enjoy the festive season. (I appreciate that there will be readers who don't observe or celebrate Christmas, but I hope you'll find some useful points in this tip nonetheless.)

Ask for help/support

If the majority of the work falls on your shoulders please don't suffer alone. If you do you'll have an exhausting Christmas and you’re likely to end up feeling resentful. Ask for help from those around you.

Beware ‘shoulds’

Christmas is full of ‘shoulds’. Be hyper-aware of how often this word crops up. It almost always implies that you're about to embark on something you don't really want to do — but feel you ought to. In other words, the impetus is stemming from external expectations. The antidote is to replace the word should with could, which instantly introduces the element of choice. No, you don’t have to brave the crowds to buy one more gift … you could, but you might choose not to.

Temper expectations…

… of others and, more importantly, of yourself. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Let go of being perfect — it’s OK to get it wrong. This personal story from Tips reader, Carole Fossey, is a great example of getting things into perspective:

My Grandad, who we were very close to and loved immensely, died on Christmas Eve. That's the big stuff. As a result everyone really chilled out about the unimportant. We burnt the sausage and bacon rolls, the bread sauce should have been called bread lumps, we forgot a whole bag of presents under the stairs that we remembered 2 days later, but no-one cared. It just wasn't important. What was important was sharing the joy on our daughter’s face and our baby’s smiles as he saw the tree lights and presents. At 3pm we toasted the memory of those separated from us, and we remembered that ultimately what is important is being with those you love.

May you have a joyful and stress-free Christmas.

I’d rather have roses on my table
than diamonds on my neck.
Emma Goldman

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop
Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.
Author Unknown