All One Family
The second of the three harvest festivals is the lesser sabbat of Mabon. Mabon is also known as Pagan Thanksgiving, Harvest Home, and autumn equinox. “Equinox” comes from the Latin aequus (equal) and nox (night). Day and night are equal length at the equator, and the earth’s northern and southern hemispheres get equal amounts of light and darkness.
We hover in time and space, momentarily in balance. With the pause, we look around and inventory our abundance. We count our blessings. Then with a tick of time the Wheel of the Year moves and soon we will know the spread of darkness. After the moment of balance, the dark will now overtake the light.
We give thanks for crops that are harvested, and while enjoying the abundance, we observe the cycle of decline. If we look a long way forward, we are aware of the potential for rebirth, long after the symbolic death.
Our kids have been back in school for a while now, and hopefully they are settling into a routine. By Mabon they have gone beyond the joy of shiny new shoes and fashionable new clothes. They are no longer excited by new teachers, reunification with old friends, or the delight of making new friends. Now the darkness is creeping into their daily lives: homework, looming midterms, exhaustion from the long days, and the dread of their increased responsibilities.
The excitement may be gone, but they still have to go to school each day. The days grow shorter and darker, but the alarm clock continues to ring at the same time, drawing them up from their dreams to the reality world of responsibilities, homework, and part-time jobs.
Mabon comes at a good time. The opportunity to celebrate and feast allows us to connect with our teens, celebrating their smooth transition back to school. Sometimes our words of praise, even for the smallest achievements, can make a huge difference for our kids, off-setting the dread they might be feeling. And for those who might be slipping behind at school, our attention now could be the very act that helps them find their way back to a routine that supports their success at school.
On Mabon, prepare a feast of seasonal foods like baked squash and potatoes, a roasted chicken or turkey, pumpkin pie, or homemade bread. As you eat, make merry. For this is the time of thanksgiving. And when your bellies are full, gather together for a seasonal ritual.
Practice: Facing Fears
Gather your teens tonight and ask them to help you in the evening when it is dark. Tell them you don’t want to do this alone because you are afraid and need their help. Our kids often see us simply as Mom or Dad: reliable, committed, and invincible. It is good for them to see us as human beings too, and letting them know that we too have fears can make it possible for them to admit their own.
Go around your home turning on every light, reminding them of Demeter and Persephone. By now they know the story and you won’t have to recount it in detail:
Each year, Persephone must leave her mother and journey down into the dark of Hades. Before she leaves Demeter, Persephone feasts on the magnificence of the light-filled world: the fruits, flowers, love, and care of her mother. Tonight, let us illuminate our joys, successes, achievements, and creations. We need to know the “light of life.”
Ask your teens to list a few good things that they are “harvesting” right now. Maybe it’s rugby or soccer season, which are in full swing, or a growing understanding of the periodic table of elements. It could be late-season ever-bearing raspberries, or that pumpkin that finally grew big enough to decorate the front step. Make sure that each of you come up with a few good things. And when everyone has identified something good, affirm:
We are rich and abundant. Filled with love and light.
Now move through the house and turn off the lights, one after another, saying:
The darkness is growing. And soon it will overtake the light. The nights will stretch long, into the cold, mean winter. Just as Persephone journeys to the heart of the earth, this is the time when we move more inside. When it is dark without, we turn to the light within.
With all the lights out, pause, standing quietly in the dark. Say:
Our true harvest lies within us. We are safe, secure, nurtured, and supported. We enjoy the shelter of this home and democracy in this country. Even in the bleak darkness, we shall fear not. For we remember the eternal cycle: birth, growth, decline, death, decomposition, and rebirth.
Turn to look at your teens and remind them:
You are your truest source of support, belonging, and acceptance. And you are your own fierce mother Demeter ... but also remember that I love you. Regardless. Forever.
Now, ask your teenagers to turn with you.
Let us face our own shadows, and let us take the first steps. Like Persephone, we walk alone into the dark. Let us each walk alone, in silence, to our rooms and spend a few moments in the dark there. And when you are ready, and when you have faced your fears, turn on the lights in your small rooms and be reminded of the myriad lights inside you.
Heading in different directions, slowly walk away from one another and through your home. Claim the darkness, claim the space, claim your power, and utter Persephone’s prayer:
We have waxed into the fullness of life,
and waned into darkness.
May we be renewed to tranquility and wisdom.