3

Five thirty came. Adam glanced up as Sam pushed her chair back. They’d spent the afternoon in almost complete silence, unless he’d asked something about the file he was reading. “You OK?”

Sam stretched and gazed at him. “I’m going home. You’re welcome to stay if you want.”

He shook his head. “I can’t. It’s the church AGM tonight, and I ought to go.”

The look on her face was almost comical. “Church? You?”

A tiny part of him thrilled at the thought he still had the ability to take her by surprise. He closed the file. “Don’t sound so flabbergasted. Things change. So do people.”

“I know.” She pulled her bag from the bottom drawer of her desk. “I would just never have put you and church in the same sentence. Not in a million years.”

“Yeah, well, perhaps I’m not the man you once knew.” He snapped the fastenings on his briefcase shut, wishing someone would invent a silent catch. “I will see you in the morning. G’night.” He headed out of the office, praying the rest of the time spent working this case wasn’t going to be like this. He wasn’t sure he could handle being that close to her.

His shoes clicked on the tiled flooring as he walked. A light shone from one of the other offices. A man sitting at a desk looked up as he passed. Adam glanced at him, taking in the dark suit, black hair and glasses. The man glowered, the look almost evil. Adam glanced at the name on the door, mentally noting to ask Sam about him in the morning.

Adam was home long enough to eat and change his shirt before heading out to church. He parked and walked around to the chapel in the fading light.

He loved April. It had to be one of his favorite months. The days were warmer, the evenings a little longer, and the world was springing to life around him. And he loved church even more. Because there he could be himself, rather than a lawyer and nothing else. He relished the prospect.

He slid into a seat halfway down the chapel next to David Painter. “Surprised to see you here,” he said. “Are you sure you should be out?”

David, a police officer and close friend, rolled his eyes. He’d been stabbed on duty a week earlier. “Not you, as well. Eden wanted me to stay in, but I can sit here just as easily as I can sit at home.” He rubbed his side. “It’s getting better. Slowly.”

“Good.” Adam pulled his Bible from his pocket and put it in the pew in front of him. “You know how close a call it was.”

“I know and Eden won’t let me forget it. What about you? Rumor has it you’re back working already.”

Adam shrugged, making light of the injuries he’d received as he’d tried to get Eden to safety. “The hospital weren’t unduly worried by the lump on my head, and it hasn’t caused any problems. Aside from a headache for a couple of days, there was no reason to stop working.”

“You always did have a thick head,” David said. “I just wish it hadn’t happened.”

He shook his head. “We should have known they’d be watching the back of the house as well as the front. Anyway, it all turned out OK in the end. That’s what matters. Is she babysitting tonight?”

“Yeah, she is. Her parents did offer, but she won’t let Marc out of her sight right now. Can’t say that I blame her. I should be back at work the week after next. I can’t wait.”

“I’m assuming normal police work will be a relief, won’t it?”

David laughed. “Oh, yeah. I’m done with undercover for now. No more being nice to the bad guys. Just lock them up and throw away the key. According to Eden the only good thing to come out of the whole mess was the fact I finally proposed to her. She said yes, by the way. So I should probably add planning the wedding to that list.”

Adam beamed and slapped David on the back. “Congrats.”

“Thank you. I was hoping you’d be my best man.”

Adam’s heart leapt a little. “I would be honored to, mate. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” David leaned back a little. “Adam, have you met Sam? She was received into membership at the last meeting. You were away then. Actually you both have the same surname. How weird is that?”

Adam looked past David at the woman sat the other side of him. His stomach pitted and he imagined the look on his face matched the one on hers. He held out a hand. “Ms. West.”

Sam shook his hand briefly. “Mr. West.”

Adam recovered himself as best he could. He sat back in his seat, grateful for the meeting starting and cutting any further conversation dead. Was he destined to run into her everywhere now? Sure there was unfinished business between them, but that was water under the bridge. Their marriage was over. He just hadn’t gotten as far as divorcing her.

Because divorce wouldn’t be right—not unless she wanted it. He’d have to ask her. But not here and not yet.

He forced his mind back to the meeting as Pastor Jack led them slowly through the agenda of finance, reports from each of the different departments and mundane church business. The subject of appointing an assistant pastor was raised for the third time. Nick Slater had preached a couple of times, and it was unanimously decided to bring him back to preach once again, so he could give his testimony and answer any specific questions members had at a Thursday night prayer meeting the same week. A special church meeting would be called for three weeks afterwards for the church to vote on his appointment.

As soon as the meeting was over, David said his goodbyes and stood, holding his side. Adam looked at him, knowing his friend had overdone it. “Do you want a lift home?”

“Thanks, but I’ve got my car here. I’ll see you Sunday.”

Adam nodded and sat for a moment longer, seeing Sam out of the corner of his eye. He glanced at her. “I never figured you for a church person.” He tossed her words back at her.

“People change, Adam,” she replied, tossing his words right back at him. She put her coat on and stood.

He looked at her. They had to work together and worship together. The least he could do was make an effort at friendship and not purely because it was the Christian thing to do. It was the right thing to do. “Can I walk you to your car?”

She nodded, heading to the door with him.

“David introduced you as Sam West. Do you only use your maiden name for work?”

“I wasn’t going to lie to the church. I used my married name and told them I was separated. You?”

“I did the same.” He paused, the chilly night air taking him by surprise. “How long have you been a Christian?”

“Three years.” Sam did up her coat. “How about you?”

“Seven.” He looked at her. “Sam…”

People milled around them. Sam shook her head. “This isn’t really the place for this discussion.”

“No. How about lunch tomorrow?”

“Won’t you be in the office first thing?”

He allowed himself a small smile. “Yes, but that’s work. I make a point of never mixing business and—”

“Lunch,” she interrupted quickly. “Goodnight, Pastor.”

“Yeah,” he said, moving to allow Pastor Jack to pass them. “Business and lunch don’t mix, unless you want spaghetti sauce all over the paperwork.”

She nodded.

There was an awkward silence, then he indicated the path. “Shall we?”

****

The morning dragged. Sam tried to concentrate, but that wasn’t easy with Adam sitting at the other side of her desk, his head bent over the files. She could make out a few grey hairs dotted amongst his blond locks, but his hair showed no signs of thinning.

Memories assailed her, popping unbidden into the forefront of her mind. The way he drank his coffee and loved a full English breakfast. The way that he slept on his side with his feet on top of the covers, even in winter; the sweet peas he’d planted by the front door. Even the smell of them reminded her of him and she tried to keep fresh ones around while she could. As he planted the seeds, he’d told her sweet peas stood for modesty and simplicity, and thus personified her.

She preferred to think of herself as delicate like the petals. They broke easily in the storms which came upon them. Not for the first time she wondered if things would have been different if they’d been Christians back then. Would God have gotten them through things together? Without all the blame they’d thrown at each other? And without love so swiftly turning to intolerance?

Adam cleared his throat and looked up from his watch. “How about we go for that lunch?”

“Sure.” She grabbed her bag. “We could go to the Three-Sixteen café on the High Street.”

“I know it well.” He stood at almost the same time she did. “Shall we take my car or yours?”

Sam glanced out of the window. “It’s not raining, so why not walk and save the bother of having to find somewhere to park.”

They reached the Three-Sixteen just as the heavens opened. Huge drops of rain crashed around them as Adam opened the door with a huge grin on his face. “You were saying something about it not raining?”

She laughed. “It’s an April shower. It won’t last.” She found a table and sat, sliding her coat over the back of her chair. Tucking her bag between her feet, she perused the menu.

The waitress appeared a few minutes later. “What can I get you?”

Sam glanced up. “Cheese salad and jacket spud, I think. With lemonade, please.”

Adam nodded. “I’ll have the all-day breakfast and chips. With a cafeteria of coffee, please.”

Sam smiled at him. “Nothing changes.”

He smiled back. “Nope, I could eat breakfast all day.”

“I remember.”

His intense gaze pinned her to the chair, holding her hostage to the memories. “You changed your perfume.”

“The other one reminded me too much of you and Imogen.” She sucked in a deep breath. “It’s her birthday next week.”

“I know.”

“She’d have been eleven.”

His gaze flickered and faltered. “I know.”

Sam absently nibbled at her fingernail again. She’d picked up the habit after Imogen died and now found herself biting her nails whenever she got stressed. “I often wonder what she’d look like, what kind of things she’d be into…”

Adam propped his hand on his chin. “Boy bands, dolls, makeup, high heels—usual girl stuff. But I imagine she’d look like you. She had your coloring.”

“I guess.” She paused as the drinks came. “Thank you. I always find this time of year hard.”

Adam nodded. “And September.” He held her gaze. “September tenth is hard, too.”

“Very hard.” Tears blurred her vision. She blinked them away. “If I could un—un—”

Sam broke off, desperate to get control of her voice and emotions. She couldn’t cry, not in front of him, not now. She cleared her throat. “If I could undo that last day, do things differently, I would.”

“Me too.” His free hand touched hers for an instant.

She looked at his long fingers. His wedding ring caught the light and a spear shot through her anew. Slowly letting out a deep breath, she forced a light tone into her voice. “Anyway, what have you been doing the last ten years?”

Adam pulled back his hand. “Work, mainly. I did a post grad course and got my masters about eight years ago.”

“Nice. You didn’t become a CPS barrister?”

“No. I’m happy doing this. Some family, probate, some cases like this.”

“Family… Do you do divorce cases?”

“Sometimes. Custody battles are the worst though.”

“I can understand that.” She pulled out her serviette and placed it on her lap.

“I moved to Headley Cross after I finished the course and joined the church a year later after my conversion. I became a partner in the firm about a year ago.”

“Congrats.”

“Thanks.” He sat back as the food arrived. He shot the waitress one of his dazzling smiles. “Thank you.” As she left, he turned back to Sam. “Shall I say grace?”

She nodded, hoping he wasn’t going to take her hand again. She honestly didn’t think she could cope with that. Being this close to him was still hard enough.

Adam said the blessing, then picked up the ketchup and dumped what appeared to be half the bottle over his chips. “What about you?”

She raised an eyebrow. “I’m not putting ketchup on lettuce, but you can pass the salad crème please.”

Adam grinned. “Sure.” He handed the bottle over. “Actually, I meant what about you the past few years.”

“I went overseas for a year after you left.” She squirted the salad crème over the lettuce. “Then came back, went to uni, and got my degree. After that I worked fundraising for a small company for several years. They provided kids meals to schools in Africa. I got the chance to go out there several times. They do amazing work. Everyone counts, they all work as a team, encouraging the local community to grow the food and cook the meals. Seeing those kids attitudes go from ‘I want to live’ to ‘when I grow up I want to be a doctor’ is incredible.”

“So why go back to finance?”

“I keep asking myself that a lot. But Paul offered me the job here two years ago, and it was hard to say no to him. Anyway, when he left, I kind of took over as CEO. But this isn’t me.”

“You’d rather be back in Africa?” he sounded surprised. “But you hate the heat.”

She nodded. “Ironic I know, but I’d rather be raising money for a cause I believe in than doing this day in and day out. And I wouldn’t be in Africa, per se, I’d be based in the head office in London. If I could quit and go back, then I would in a heartbeat.”

“So do it.” He looked down at his food, eating silently.

Sam ate some of hers. Why didn’t she just quit? It wasn’t as if she needed the money, was it? Surely what mattered was job satisfaction and serving God. And she couldn’t do either where she was now.

“Why don’t you wear your wedding ring?”

Jerked out of her thoughts, Sam looked at her hand. She swallowed her mouthful and wished desperately he hadn’t asked.

“Why do you still wear yours?” she shot back, turning the tables. “After all, you’re the one who walked out on the marriage.”

He froze. “I—I wear it because I’m still married. You?”

“It’s at home somewhere. Not entirely sure where, mind you, but it’s in a safe place.”

“I see.” He cut his egg, sending yolk across the plate. “Are you seeing someone else?”

“No. There hasn’t been anyone. To start with, I was too grief stricken, then work filled every waking moment, and then once I became a Christian, it just didn’t seem appropriate to date someone else when still married. You?”

He shook his head. “No. Again, work took up a lot of my time and still does. Anyway, like you said, I’m married, so dating someone else isn’t right.”

Sam studied him as he ate. “Why didn’t you file for divorce?”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I figured you would. After all, you left me.”

Adam put his knife and fork down. “I know I left you. You do not need to keep rubbing it in and reminding me every chance you get.” His eyes flashed, and he wiped his mouth on his serviette before tossing it to the table. “Do you want a divorce? Is that it?”

“I—I don’t know.” She pulled back into herself. She hadn’t meant to irritate him. It had been a civil question, a logical one considering the direction the conversation had taken.

“Well, think about it, because if you do, you have sufficient grounds for desertion.” He took a deep breath. “It’s not a Biblical reason, and I’m sure Pastor Jack would advise against it if his sermon on divorce last year is anything to go by, but I won’t contest it if that’s what you want.”

She looked down, a hollow feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. Her salad seemed to wilt as she looked at it, and she no longer had an appetite for anything.

Adam glanced at his watch and sighed. He pushed his chair back. “I’m afraid I have to run. I’ve got a meeting across town in fifteen minutes.” He pulled out his wallet and dropped thirty quid on the table. “That will pay for lunch. Keep the change or put it in the tip jar by the till. See you in the morning.”

Sam sat stunned as he marched outside, the door swinging shut behind him.

Divorce?

Did he want a divorce? Did she?

He had just walked out on her again. And he wanted her to act like a grown up. The problem was being around Adam reduced her to a teenager, the mere slip of a girl she’d been when she’d fallen for him the first time around.