IN THE PAST FEW YEARS, a number of women have achieved leadership positions and broken barriers in the business world. There have been several new, high-profile female CEOs and COOs at Fortune 500 companies, and women have made other strides in business as well. These successes could lead to the conclusion that women are making substantial progress and, when we first wrote this book in 2005, we hoped that would be the case. However, while these achievements are significant, there continues to be a woeful shortage of women at the top and the pace of change is painfully slow, with little—and in some cases no—growth. Though women are attending college and graduate schools in record numbers and make up about half of the labor force, we are nowhere near parity with men. Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In, has brought this topic to the forefront once again. In the top 500 U.S. companies, about 50 percent of the “middle management” positions are held by women. But only 4.2 percent of those companies are led by women, women hold fewer than 17 percent of board positions, and just 14.3 percent of the executive officer positions are held by women, according to Catalyst.org research. And, to add insult to injury, on average, women still only make 77 cents for every dollar earned by men.
So, why do women still hold such a small proportion of the powerful, high-paying job positions?
Despite the number of talented and educated women in the workforce, we believe their lack of real progress up the ranks can be attributed to the persistence of ingrained male-dominated corporate cultures and the obstacles they present for women. A 2013 Wall Street Journal poll finds that 40 percent of working women say they have faced gender discrimination—a result that has not changed significantly from a 1997 survey! Many women, finding their work environment distasteful and seemingly intractable, prefer to opt out of the corporate world rather than try to adapt situations they see as unwelcoming and inflexible.
Though change is often difficult, frustrating, and uncomfortable, we are convinced that for women to make their marks, they must step out of their comfort zones and make crucial changes to their work styles—and perhaps to their styles at home as well. As greater numbers of women achieve authority and power, and more companies realize the benefits of maintaining their talent pool of top women, the cultural stalemate will, by necessity, change. A diverse workforce is the face of the future and, from a practical economic point of view, with half of the available talent being female and the market demographics increasingly diverse, companies will have to change to be competitive.
Women need to take a hard look at themselves and their corporate cultures, determine the best way to be successful where they are, and make adjustments to their approach. We believe this can be done while also maintaining their individual styles and identity. By identifying and dealing effectively with obstacles that are keeping them sidelined, women won’t have to settle for unsatisfying careers or leave the workplace in frustration. Women can, instead, stay in the game, change the rules, and ultimately win.
In Breaking into the Boys’ Club, we have identified the key areas that our research and experience have shown to be most problematic for women. These include communicating effectively and dealing with conflict, building networking relationships, promoting your accomplishments, being politically savvy, getting the most out of mentoring and sponsorship, maintaining balance in your life, and presenting yourself with impact and presence. In many cases, women know they should be taking steps in these areas but they just don’t do it, even as they see their male colleagues using these techniques to succeed. Instead, women often complain about their situations and mull over the injustices they’ve experienced.
We cover each of these problem areas in depth, with insights and information on the common mistakes women make and tools to assess your own individual strengths and weaknesses. We provide specific, actionable remedies in each category to help you improve your skills and become more effective in your career, and include discussion and tips on work/life balance. If, after trying remedies, you still find that you’re not making enough progress or are unhappy with your work, our book gives you the tools to keep your career on track by helping you understand where you are, pinpoint what’s not working, and define the steps you can take to be happier and more successful.
Does the next story have a familiar ring?
Dan and Judy both went to solid liberal arts schools in the Northeast, earned B+ grades, and after graduation from NYU School of Law, each was hired by the same top insurance firm to work in the legal department. Years later, Dan is senior vice president and deputy general counsel, and Judy is an assistant counsel a couple of levels below Dan, stuck in a position going nowhere. Why did Dan succeed, and Judy fail to make it, in corporate America? Is he smarter? A better worker? Not necessarily.
The first day Dan walked into his new company, he was welcomed by his colleagues. A couple of the “guys” in his department, including the boss, took him to lunch and he got the scoop on the people, company politics, and the softball team. He was immediately included in meetings as well as the informal gatherings at lunch and after work. He was introduced to a number of people at higher levels, and felt a sense of instant camaraderie with his team. He got to know the right people, was well-liked, touted his accomplishments whenever possible, and was regularly promoted.
During Judy’s first week, she went to lunch with two women in her department and heard about how their boss gave the best assignments to one of the men. They cautioned her about making sure she put in long hours, or her loyalty would be questioned. She came away convinced she had to constantly prove herself to others in order to get ahead. She went in early, stayed late, did great work, and developed a reputation as an expert in her area of law. After being passed over for several promotions, however, she understood that she probably wasn’t going to go any further in her department.
Dan had a big advantage. He was immediately included in the corporate culture, and was given insight into the rules, the politics, and the people. From day one, Judy was trying to fit in and figure out what was expected while working long hard hours. She never felt she was on the “inside.”
We have all heard women complain about being passed over in spite of their best efforts, just like Judy. Women are frequently at a disadvantage in integrating into the predominantly male corporate culture, which holds us back and leads to great frustration. The challenge of trying to break into the male-dominated culture, in fact, has become such an obstacle that women are leaving executive positions at Fortune 500 companies at twice the rate of men.
It’s hard enough for women to be taken seriously and be promoted to executive positions. Why would a professional woman who has worked long and hard to achieve her six-figure position voluntarily walk away from success? We decided to find out answers to these and other questions by conducting in-depth interviews with over one hundred senior executive women across the country who had done just that.
They told us their number one reason for leaving was: a corporate culture that roadblocked their advancement.
Many women felt their opinions were not valued and they had trouble being “heard” by senior management. The vice president of research at a multinational insurance firm said, “I need to feel engaged and connected with my work and the organization—to feel that I am contributing. I didn’t get that feeling . . . ”
They were excluded from important meetings, informal networks, and pipelines of information, which hampered their ability to do their jobs. A financial consultant told us, “I had skills of value that just weren’t being used. When I expressed interest in a different kind of project or asked to join a task force, I was turned down.”
The women expressed that they felt “underutilized” in their positions and needed to be motivated by more challenging work assignments. A senior manager at a big four CPA firm said, “I didn’t feel challenged in my job. The company’s idea of challenging me was to move me around in my unit and increase my workload, rather than giving me new and interesting types of assignments.”
Others were concerned that the company did not reflect their ethics and values. The vice president of human resources for a media company felt, “My values were out of sync with senior management’s values. I could no longer face my fellow employees and represent the company as fair and equitable knowing what I knew.”
They didn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel because they didn’t feel they had a clear-cut career plan with the opportunity to gain exposure in different areas. The director of marketing for a large consumer goods company commented, “I was frustrated by a lack of career path. Even though I’m at a senior level, I still need a career path—I have to know there’s somewhere to go.”
In addition, the women interviewed expressed a strong need for a more balanced life with flexible working hours. The vice president of operations for a food services organization lamented that, “My boss saw no need to allow me to conduct work from home. I was willing to take a cut in pay—anything—to continue to work and also be there for my child. He said no to any flexibility in my work schedule.”
Even when flexible options were available in their organizations, women were reluctant to participate for fear of being perceived as less committed to their positions. A director of special projects in the health-care industry observed, “It seems that family needs don’t rank as high on men’s lists as they do on women’s. Senior women who are just as focused as men on their careers have the added pull and tug of their families and other relationships.”
Over and over, the stories showed a picture of women fighting against corporate cultures that seemed to put up barriers that, in time, became so frustrating that the women gave up in their present companies and went elsewhere. Ninety percent of them changed companies or started their own businesses in their quest for a more welcoming culture. One woman surveyed reflected, “The difficulties in attaining a work/life balance raise the question: am I getting enough from this job to justify the conflict I’m feeling?” The women we interviewed answered with a resounding “no.”
Biological differences are key to understanding the ongoing tensions between men and women in the workplace. According to Louann Brizendine, in her 2006 book entitled The Female Brain, males and females see, hear, intuit, cognize, and sense differently due to different brain sensitivities:
In the brain centers for language and hearing, for example, women have 11 percent more neurons than men. The principal hub of both emotion and memory formation—the hippocampus—is also larger in the female brain, as is the brain circuitry for language and observing emotions in others. This means that women are, on average, better at expressing emotions, and remembering the details of emotional events (i.e., verbal agility, listening to learn more of the situation, empathizing in order to know what people are feeling, attending to others, respecting others). Men, by contrast, have two and a half times the brain space devoted to sexual drive as well as larger brain centers for action and aggression. . . . These basic structural variances could explain perceptive differences. . . . Men also have larger processors in the core of the most primitive area of the brain, which registers fear and triggers aggression. . . . This is why some men can go from zero to a fistfight in a matter of seconds while many women will try to defuse conflict.
These differences in brain structure explain, for example, why men are frequently more aggressive in their management styles while women often are more thoughtful in their decision making. Brain disparities lead to contrasting workplace styles and sometimes confusing interactions of the two genders as they work together.
Unfortunately, the “chain of command” work systems, which were designed and run by men, seem to perpetuate themselves and are very resilient to change. And, these systems are alien to most women, who don’t have an understanding of, or affinity for, their rules of engagement. Women, instead, bring different skills that represent different ways of leading. At the root of these differences is simply diversity of thinking and behaving.
For example, women take a broader view on most issues. This can be called web thinking and entails:
Men think in a more focused way and give their attention to one thing at a time, tuning out everything else. Women are able to focus and still absorb the larger context around them using their two brain hemispheres. In conversations, women do “mental multitasking” while men laser in on the topic at hand.
In conversation, men are focused on their business interests, the need to project their egos, and their basic drive to compete. Their concentration is single-mindedly on how to get the matter resolved or the project completed, and they are not thinking in a larger context.
Women, on the other hand, are able to attentively focus on what’s being said, while still being attuned to many other things. In conversation, for example, women have the capacity to think about the business matter at hand, and at the same time, assess others as competitors or view them within a social framework. Women also say that though they may be deep in a work discussion, if they are interrupted by a phone call, request, or crisis, it’s no problem. They can jump right back to their project without skipping a beat.
Simple biology supports this notion of more brain activity in the way information is processed by women. The differences in their physical brain structure allow women to gather, integrate, and synthesize more diverse kinds of information, while men use a narrowly focused, compartmentalized process.
Here are the biological aspects, according to psychologist Karen Kahn Wilson, EdD, PCC, and consultant Steven Salee, MSW, MPA, that differentiate most women from most men:
We heard many women in the research studies we’ve conducted during the past few years complain about “the boys’ club,” and a large number of them are well justified. Complaining, however, will not take women to the next level—they can only achieve success by understanding and addressing their individual situations, and by taking action. Though we can be hopeful that the culture will change for the better, in the meantime it is wise to develop a clear understanding of the people and the politics at work in your company.
Our book will help you analyze your culture and figure out where you fit in before you write it off. Are your ideas being heard by management? Are you connecting with the right people? Do you approach assignments in a way that gives the best chance for success? Do you volunteer for new projects and initiatives? Are you viewed positively by others? Do you look for opportunities for learning and advancement? Do you use your biological strengths to your best advantage?
Only after you have an understanding of your environment and yourself, and have carefully assessed your skills, strengths, and weaknesses, can you begin to overcome the corporate hurdles and be more successful. In order to get ahead in business, you need to be savvy enough to devote your energy to the places that count.
The woman who feels compelled to prove her worth by closing herself in her office, keeping her head down, and producing great reports, like Judy in the earlier story, is making a big mistake if she wants to advance up the ladder.
Instead, she should take time to develop key relationships, make important contacts, and understand her culture and its politics, like Dan. These are the skills beyond professional knowledge that take women to the executive ranks. As a high-level marketing executive told us, “Corporate America is a great training ground for some skills, but success at the higher levels is based more on political and other factors, not so much on the quality and quantity of your work. That’s just expected.”
What really gets you ahead? Get ready to adjust your reality—it might not be what you think or were taught.
Logic tells you to:
But the reality is:
If you do the things “that logic tells you,” you will likely be a highly regarded employee and manager. These are positive attributes for anyone, and you can expect to be rewarded with periodic raises and praise for your work. They will not, however, put you in line for the top slots in your company unless you pay attention to “reality.” If you work long hours and are great at what you do—but the right people don’t know you or your work—you’ll still find yourself roadblocked.
Take the example of Kristen, a talented woman who realized she had to make some changes to redirect her career. She had a senior staff position in a multinational consumer goods company, but was determined to get to a higher level. She knew that to get ahead she needed to jump to a line position, where the important decisions were made. In order to reach her goal, she resolved to make some necessary changes in her style.
Because she had not spent time building relationships with people around her, she had no real network of support. Kristen saw that her working style was insular and that she was still trying to prove to her colleagues how smart she was. She admitted that she had not given enough attention to her appearance and she needed to improve her image and look like an executive in order to achieve her goals.
Kristen started making some significant changes. She began scheduling lunch with colleagues and building a solid network. She developed a more relaxed working style, realizing that she was already highly regarded by others and didn’t have anything to prove. People who had previously avoided her soon felt more comfortable with her. She also signed up at the gym, invested in a personal shopper, and starting looking more professional and feeling better about herself.
As it turned out, her self-assessment was on target, and her motivation and determination paid off. Not too long after, Kristen heard about a line position from one of her well-placed contacts in the company. She applied for the position, asked her colleague to lobby for her, and reached her goal of becoming a line manager. As time went on, she became part of the inner circle of decision makers and influencers at her company and eventually was promoted to senior vice president.
What was different? Kristen was willing to look at her herself openly and honestly, and to change the habits that were getting in her way. These changes—getting to know her colleagues better, toning down her attitude in meetings, refining her appearance, and stepping up to promote herself for a key job—led to developing better relationships, being included, gaining respect, and ultimately, landing the job! And, she didn’t have to give up her identity or—heaven forbid—act like a man. Now that she was in a position of power, she realized that, over time, she could effect cultural changes that would make a difference by mentoring women coming up the pipeline.
In essence, it’s a numbers game. As more women who are educated, trained, and getting closer to the senior ranks push through the barriers and into the executive suites rather than leave their positions in frustration, they will have the opportunity to make a difference. No longer will it be one lone woman’s voice among fifteen men in executive meetings. More women will have the opportunity to bring to the table their expertise, viewpoints, and management styles. This will happen more quickly in some industries, such as the health-care and financial service sectors, where there are more qualified women in the pipeline, than in the manufacturing industry, for example. Yet, as the number of senior women executives increase, and greater numbers of corporations recognize the talent that women bring to the workforce, we believe that the corporate landscape will move more quickly to adopt change. We hope the information and advice offered in our book will help you reach your goals and effect positive change for all women.
Women dominate consumer markets. Women purchase, or influence the purchase of, over 85 percent of all consumer goods, such as home furnishings, cars, and electronics, according to BusinessWeek. They make over 80 percent of all health-care decisions, and purchase 93 percent of all food and over-the-counter pharmaceutical products. Yet only twenty-one (that’s 4.2 percent) of the Fortune 500 companies—the companies that produce and manufacture many of these products—have female CEOs, and only 16.6 percent of the board seats are held by women.
Women comprise 46.9 percent of the labor force. Women’s representation in the U.S. labor force hasn’t changed dramatically over the past twenty years. However, Catalyst reports that they have jumped from holding about a third of the managerial positions to about 51 percent. But women comprise only 14 percent of the officer-level positions in Fortune 500 companies, up from 9 percent a decade ago. They are a mere 6.7 percent of the top earners, and on average make only 77 percent of what men earn.
There are estimated to be 7.8 million women-owned businesses. That’s up from 6.4 million almost twenty years ago, reports Catalyst. And, the number of women-owned companies with one hundred or more employees has increased at nearly twice the growth rate of all other companies. Yet, women get less than roughly 6 percent of the $30 billion venture-capital pie.
Globally, less than a quarter of senior business positions are occupied by women. The figure for businesses with no women in senior management positions is 34 percent, according to Grant Thornton. Top countries for numbers of women in management are Russia, with 46 percent, followed by Botswana (39 percent), and Thailand (39 percent). Lowest in women managers: India, Germany, and Japan (at, respectively, 14 percent, 13 percent, and 15 percent). The average percentage of women on boards in Europe as a whole is only 12.8 percent. Recognizing the need for improvement, Norway, and more recently Spain, have required companies to fill 40 percent of corporate board seats with women.
So, the compelling question examined in this book is: why aren’t more women breaking into the boys’ club?