Thirty-one

Over the next few weeks the remainder of the calves were born and Hayley found comfort in them. Leaning against the fence with a coffee, she watched as they grew stronger each day. Flossy’s calf, the eldest, waited impatiently for the smaller arrivals to be able to stand steadily enough and run so he could play with them. In no time the seven calves had formed an entertaining little gang, harassing their long-suffering mothers who tried to eat in peace in order to produce the milk to feed them. They played a form of calf tag, racing in and around the tolerant mothers at surprising speed for animals born barely weeks before.

The building was moving along equally quickly. The renovation of the old shed had commenced and the transformation was amazing. There were already three separate rooms framed now, and inside looked nothing like the empty machinery shed it had started out as.

She’d only caught glimpses of Luke since the day she left him in town. He’d come over a few times to check on the cattle. She’d wanted to go out and talk to him but each time nerves got the better of her, so she’d stayed inside the house, trying not to feel as though she were hiding like a frightened mouse, until he’d gone. It wasn’t a solution. They were partners in the cattle and at some point they’d have to talk to each other.

That time was coming closer each day. Sophia had raved about the new manuscript, which had lifted a considerable weight off Hayley’s shoulders. Maybe now she could take a small break and allow a new story to unfold at its own pace without the pressure of a looming deadline.

Sophia wanted to come up for the day to discuss the new book and some possible overseas prospects. It would, of course, have been easier to go to her, but she’d been dying to see Hayley’s new place. She’d asked to go someplace nice for lunch, and although Hayley had offered to host lunch at Abby Cottage, Sophia had automatically brushed the notion away. ‘Darling, what good is having an expense account if I can’t use it? Besides, I want to see what this place has to offer.’

Naturally the only place that would meet Sophia’s high expectations was the restaurant at Lochmanning.

‘Oh, this is just divine,’ Sophia said as they walked into the restaurant. ‘It’s so…rustic and gritty.’ In her enormous Audrey Hepburn sunglasses, tight skirt and high heels, Sophia blended into the rustic setting as seamlessly as the Pope at a nudist beach.

Hayley’s gaze darted around the room, but she wasn’t really expecting to see Luke in the middle of the day. She’d been more nervous after parking the car and walking inside in case she happened to run into him out there. It was a relief not to see him, and after ordering a drink from Grant she finally began to relax a little.

A table further across the room seemed a hive of activity, with much laughter and drinking going on. The table of seven women seemed to be having some kind of celebration, drinking wine, she noticed absently, instead of the boutique beer.

‘I have to say, Hayley, I think this is some of your strongest writing yet,’ Sophia said, sliding her glasses on top of her head and folding her elegantly manicured hands in front of her on the table. ‘There’s just something about this one. There’s a different feel to it. I love the convict woman’s storyline. Fascinating. How on earth did you come across it?’

Hayley toyed with the edge of the menu. ‘Oh, you know…research. I heard something about it and decided to look into it.’

‘You did a marvellous job. The scenes are so full of detail. You must have been very thorough with the research.’

‘Yeah,’ Hayley agreed weakly. ‘I’m just relieved the publishers like it.’

‘They love it. Here’s to a fantastic book and big things on the horizon,’ Sophia said, and raised her glass to gently tap Hayley’s. ‘What’s wrong, Hales?’ Sophia asked after a moment, eyeing her over the top of her beer glass as she watched her gazing at the table of happy, somewhat drunk women across from them.

‘Nothing,’ Hayley said, forcing a smile to her face. And that was the truth. There was nothing but good things happening in her life everywhere she turned, and yet a heaviness continued to hover about her. So much had happened since arriving here that sometimes she felt drained just trying to process it all.

Her vision no longer freaked her out—after seeing Meg she’d accepted what it was, and writing Jane’s story seemed to have helped too. She’d exhausted every avenue of rational explanation trying to explain it. In the end acceptance had been surprisingly liberating.

She’d learned more about Jane since her regression therapy. Tiny snatches of memory had been resurfacing—the oddest things: walking along the cliff tops of her homeland and watching the raging ocean far below. The smell of wood smoke, and the sensation of wearing long swishy skirts. She saw a small town and remembered the experience of going to some kind of fair, where people smiled and children ran, laughing as they darted in between their parents’ feet.

Sometimes the memories came to her while she was doing the most mundane things, like cooking dinner or vacuuming; other times they came to her while she sat in the garden enjoying the warmth of the sun. She couldn’t explain it, but she knew they were memories of her life as Jane, back in her village on the west coast of Ireland. They were as familiar as the memories of the childhood she had now.

There was only one thing missing.

‘Well, would you take a look at that,’ Sophia drawled. ‘You don’t get them back in the city,’ she murmured as she followed the man who had walked in from the brewery into the restaurant.

He was dressed in jeans, a light blue work shirt and boots, and Hayley felt a stab of familiar longing as her eyes locked with his. To his credit, Luke hid his surprise at seeing her there well; only the slight hesitation in his step gave any indication he’d been affected as he continued across to the rowdy table of women. Hayley watched as a tall blonde woman gracefully stood at his approach and greeted him with a hug.

Hayley dropped her gaze quickly. It was none of her business, she reminded herself firmly as she tried to concentrate on the meal before her. Sophia, always guaranteed to hold the conversation, kept up a steady flow of gossip about people they both knew, and Hayley managed to nod and say the appropriate things in the right places, but her mind was racing as she tried not to watch the other table.

‘Hayley?’

Hayley snapped her gaze up to her friend’s face and realised she’d stopped listening. ‘Sorry?’

‘I asked if you knew that fine specimen of manhood who just walked in?’

‘Ah, yeah, kind of. He’s my neighbour. Why?’ Do not look over at him.

‘Because he’s been sliding you sideways glances ever since he came in and now he’s coming this way.’

Hayley dropped her fork and the sound of its clattering seemed to echo around the large room.

‘Hayley, nice to see you.’ Luke’s deep voice sounded close and she could see him in her peripheral vision as she summoned the courage to look up.

‘Luke,’ she acknowledged, relieved when her voice sounded reasonably normal. ‘This is my friend and agent, Sophia. She’s driven up for the day and I thought I’d bring her over here for lunch.’

‘Nice to meet you, Sophia,’ Luke said smoothly. His charm seemed to be working, judging by her usually unflappable agent practically melting in her seat. ‘I hope we’re managing to impress you.’

‘Oh, I’m impressed right enough,’ she crooned, and Hayley couldn’t help rolling her eyes at that remark.

‘When you get a spare minute, I need to talk to you about an upcoming market. We need to go over some things,’ Luke said, leaning down, his hand on the back of her chair, almost touching her but not quite. She could practically feel the heat of his body and it was playing havoc with the internal war she was fighting to remain unaffected by the man.

‘Sure, maybe tomorrow sometime,’ she said, seeing Sophia’s speculative interest from the corner of her eye and anticipating the inquest that would follow once Luke left.

‘Luke, I’m ready,’ a silky voice said, making Hayley glance up. The tall woman from the other table had come to stand at Luke’s side, slipping her arm around his waist.

She watched as Luke straightened and introduced the newcomer. ‘Hayley and Sophia, this is Lucinda. Hayley bought Abby Cottage,’ he added for the woman’s benefit.

‘Oh, I love that place,’ Lucinda gasped, pressing her hands to her mouth. ‘Do you remember we talked about buying it some day?’

Hayley felt her heart sink. This was that Lucinda…Luke’s ex-fiancée…girlfriend…whatever they were. The one who’d broken his heart.

Luke seemed uncomfortable as he shifted his weight slightly from one foot to the other. ‘That was a long time ago.’

His short reply sent a flash of hurt across the woman’s perfectly made-up face but she quickly covered it with a bright smile. ‘Yes, I suppose you’re right. It’s too quiet out here for me anyway,’ she said with a shrug before looking down at Hayley. ‘I hear you’re an author.’

‘Yes, I am.’

‘I don’t read, never had the patience to sit around all day.’

Alrighty then. ‘Well, it’s not for everyone,’ Hayley murmured with a smile.

‘Lucinda’s here for a wedding tomorrow,’ Luke explained, seemingly a little unsure of how to proceed.

‘How nice,’ Sophia commented. She was giving Lucinda her smiling assassin’s smile, the one Hayley had seen her use on publishers right before she launched into a list of demands. ‘Not yours, I take it.’

‘Oh God no, I’m just in the wedding party,’ she said with a wave towards the table of women. Her smile slipped and twisted into something more fatalistic. ‘No, I had my chance. I was foolish enough to let him get away,’ she said softly.

‘We better let these ladies finish their meal in peace,’ Luke said, clearing his throat, and his arm went quickly around Lucinda’s waist to usher her away.

‘Yes, you promised to give me a private tour of the new brewery,’ Lucinda agreed, and Hayley saw her smile brighten measurably.

‘I’ll catch up with you tomorrow, Hayley,’ Luke said, looking over at her sheepishly.

‘No hurry,’ she said, dropping her gaze back to her plate. ‘Don’t rush your tour.’

‘It makes sense now,’ Sophia said slowly once they were alone again.

‘What does?’ Hayley asked.

‘You,’ she said simply.

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

‘There’s something different about you, and I’ve been trying to figure it out all day. Now it makes sense. You’re in love.’

‘I am not in love,’ she glared.

‘Whatever you say,’ Sophia shrugged. ‘But in case you’re wondering, there’s no way that man is interested in the fair Lucinda.’

‘She seems pretty interested in him,’ Hayley said reluctantly.

‘Too interested. She’s obviously trying too hard.’

‘Well, it doesn’t matter anyway, he’s just my neighbour. I’m not interested in his personal life.’

Sophia gave a rather unladylike snort. ‘Fine, lie all you like to yourself, but it’s not fooling anyone. Even Lucinda could tell there was something going on between you two.’

‘Oh please, now you’re being ridiculous.’

‘Am I? Maybe you two are oblivious to it, but you’d have to be blind not to see the electricity between you.’

‘There might have been a thing…briefly…but it’s over now.’

‘Oh honey, whatever it was between you both is not over…not from where I’m sitting.’

Hayley had a moment of hope at her friend’s words, but it plummeted quickly when she recalled Luke’s hand on Lucinda’s waist as they’d walked away from the table.

‘What happened between you two?’

‘It just didn’t work. We had different…beliefs.’

‘Beliefs? I didn’t think you were ever terribly religious?’

‘Not that kind of belief.’

Sophia’s eyes widened, ‘Is he into something kinky? I bet he is,’ she said, leaning across the table with relish. ‘Tell me.’

‘No, he’s not,’ she said, exasperated. ‘Look, we tried. But you can’t make someone change their mind about certain things, and he and I have very different views about…stuff.’

‘Well, that’s a shame. If the amount of chemistry between you two isn’t enough to make things work then there’s no hope for the rest of us. Something like that doesn’t come along very often. Trust me, I know, I’m still waiting.’

Hayley considered her friend thoughtfully. ‘Do you believe in destiny, Soph?’

‘I believe that if you want something badly enough, you have to get off your backside and go out and get it. Destiny doesn’t hand-deliver your heart’s desire.’

Hayley thought about Sophia’s words as their dessert arrived. What if destiny sometimes got it wrong? Surely if she and Luke were supposed to be together they wouldn’t be going around in circles the way they had been since day one. What was she supposed to do? Forget everything she’d discovered? Did it mean that if she wanted to be with him, she had to agree to his terms? That was no way to live, and she certainly wasn’t about to allow another controlling man to determine the choices she made. He may not want to believe in any of it but was it really that difficult to accept someone else’s beliefs? Clearly it was for Luke.