“Everything’s fine, Mom.”
I was going to hell. Straight to hell with a fast pass in hand. You know, the permit that lets you cut the line to the front. Yep, that was me, Sadie the fast pass holder first in line to meet Satan.
I’d hit an all-time low lying to my momma.
“Sadie Marie, you don’t sound fine.”
“Hang on.” I put the call on speaker then lied some more. “Sorry, I’m doing a little spring cleaning.”
“It’s fall,” she reminded me.
Damn.
“I was too busy in the spring so I’m doing it now.”
I gently folded my favorite plum-colored belted dress that did wonders for my figure. Tight but not hoochie-mama tight. V-neck that showed off some cleavage yet remained PG rather than X-rated.
“How’s Dad?” I attempted to redirect the conversation away from my spiraling out of control life.
“I’m worried about you,” my mom murmured, and my heart clutched.
Both because she sounded worried, and because I was placing yet another fabulous dress in a box to be mailed to its new owner.
“There’s nothing for you to be worried about.”
Lies. All lies.
It was debatable which of her children my mother should be more worried about. Her son who’d hooked up with a gang of dirty motorcycle-riding criminals or her daughter who was going to lose her business in less than a month. I figured my brother won the worry-mom stakes considering his bullshit could land him in jail. I’d just be jobless and homeless but I’d be both without a criminal record so there was that.
“Have you heard from Josh?”
Shit, shit, shit.
I knew that was coming.
“Um. It’s been a few days.”
Five days to be exact.
Five long, tiring days trying to avoid Reese after our little episode in my office. Who was I kidding—there was nothing little about Reese. And we didn’t have an episode, I’d gleefully, happily, hungrily banged him against the door. Okay, so technically he banged me, and he did it to spectacular results.
Gah.
Just thinking about it made my cheeks burn and my lady parts tingle.
Best sex of my life.
Which was sad. When I was with Nate, I thought we’d had good sex. We’d been in a committed relationship that had been comfortable. Now six months removed from the year-long relationship I’d come to a few uncomfortable realizations. I never loved him. And for obvious reasons, it was clear he never loved me. But at the time, I’d liked him. He’d been good company, fun to be around, someone to help carry the load, but never had he made my heart race. Never did I get a feeling in my belly that made me jittery when I saw him. And I’d never, not once in the year we were together, jumped him the way I had Reese. I’d started dating Nate then stayed with him because I’d been lonely. I was out of sorts after my parents moved to Florida and Nate had been convenient.
Worst mistake of my life.
A knock on my front door pulled me from my thoughts. My gaze went across my living room to the door and for the first time in my life, I wished I had X-ray vision. If it was Josh and I didn’t answer right away he’d start banging. And if I still didn’t answer he’d resort to yelling my name.
“Hey, Mom, let me call you back.”
“Are you expecting company?”
It was ridiculous that my mother actually sounded excited at the prospect of her thirty-six-year-old daughter having someone stop by her house.
Prospect.
Shit, fuck, and damn.
“Nope. Probably a Girl Scout. I’ll—”
“Don’t be silly, the Girl Scouts don’t sell cookies this time of year.”
Of course, my mother would know that. I, myself, had never been in the Scouts but I’d had an obsession with Thin Mints since my mother had given me one at three. I’d partly blamed her for my love affair with all things cookies.
There was another knock. This one louder.
Crap.
“Mom, I really have to go. I’ll call you later.”
“I’ll just wait on the phone while you answer.”
“Mom.”
“You can never be too careful. The town’s getting bigger, crime’s going up. I mean, just a few months ago, that nice Kiki girl was murdered.”
It was quite possible my mother was the only person other than Kiki’s family who would describe Kiki Welsh as “nice.” She was four grades behind me in school and I still heard about the trouble she caused. And by the time Kiki had graduated high school, she’d also graduated from being a mean girl to a straight-up bitch. But I’d never say that out loud and she did die saving a little boy’s life. So obviously, she did have some nice in her, it just rarely came out.
“Mom—”
Another knock. This one loud and impatient.
“Just get the door, Sadie.”
If there was ever a question where I got my stubbornness from, I’d have to look no further than my mother.
“Fine.”
I left my phone on the kitchen table hoping she wouldn’t hear when I throat-punched my brother for showing up at my house, uninvited and unannounced.
Something Josh did from time to time. Normally when he needed money or wanted me to feed him. Never was it to just stop by and have a chat. And since Reese had threatened him the other day, I was surprised it had taken my brother this long to find me and lay into me.
I went to the window and pulled back the curtain, wondering why I’d never gotten one of those Ring cameras. Then I remembered I didn’t have one because I was freaking broke. Then I stopped thinking about cameras and my dire financial situation and started gawking.
Reese’s head turned and his gaze hit mine. He looked unhappy, as in un-fucking-happy. Deep scowl, eyes squinty, brows pulled together. He jabbed his finger in the direction of my front door and I shook my head. Those downturned lips got thin as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet.
Memories of the last time he’d pulled out his wallet assailed me.
Really great memories that I was ashamed to admit I’d replayed a thousand times in the last five days.
Reese stepped closer to my front door and bent at the waist, meaning I lost sight of his upper body and what he was doing.
“Who’s there?” my mom called out.
“No one.”
“No one?”
Before I could think up another lie my front door opened and Reese waltzed in.
Holy shit.
“Sadie, answer me.”
Reese’s gaze snapped to my dining room.
“It was no one, Mom. They were looking for my neighbor.”
Thankfully, Reese didn’t miss the emphasis and remained silent. Though he did walk farther into my house.
What the hell?
“I really wish you had a more active social life. You’re young, you should be out enjoying all the varieties life has to offer.”
Seriously?
Someone shoot me.
“I love you, Mom. I appreciate your concern, but I really have to go.”
“Right. Spring cleaning in the fall instead of going out on a date. It’s been six months since you broke up with Nate. I will admit he was a very good-looking young man, nice and polite, too. But, Sadie, honey, it’s time to move on.”
I hated remembering my parents had met him once when they’d come to visit.
Reese’s lips twitched and one of his eyebrows lifted, his amusement clear.
“Asshole,” I mouthed.
The lip twitch turned into a smile and the asshole winked.
“I’m not hung up on Nate. I’ve just been busy with the bakery. I’ll start dating again when things slow down.”
Epic lie.
I wasn’t ever dating again.
Which made looking at Reese so painful I wanted to close my eyes against the agony.
“We’re very proud of you, honey. We know how hard you work. It’s just there’s more to life than work and we want you to be happy.”
Dagger to my heart.
How proud would my parents be if they knew how stupid I’d been? How proud would they be if they knew I was behind on my rent—both personal and business? How proud would they be if they knew my business loan was nearing default?
“Thanks, Mom,” I choked out. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay, I love you, sweet girl.”
“Love you, too, Momma.”
I rushed to my phone to double-check that she’d disconnected before I turned back around. Unfortunately, Reese had moved with me, so he was so close I almost ran into his body. I teetered back knowing what happened when I touched him and not wanting a repeat.
It seemed there was a theme to my night—big fat honking lies.
I wanted a repeat. I wanted lots and lots of repeats with slight variations of what we’d done in my office. I wanted it so badly I’d successfully avoided Reese for five days. If I saw him come into the shop, I hightailed my ass to the back. If he’d slipped in without me noticing and was already ordering when I did, I busied myself with something behind the counter, making sure my back was to him.
“Your parents don’t know you’re in trouble?” he guessed.
I wasn’t in trouble. I was fucked.
“Get out.”
“Who’s Nate?”
“Get. Out!”
“Why haven’t you told your parents you’re behind—”
I should’ve taken a breath or ten. I should’ve picked up the phone and called the police to report an intruder then stood there and waited until the cops showed up and cuffed him. I should’ve done twenty other things than what I did.
But I couldn’t know until after I’d opened my mouth that Reese was the type of man who, once you gave him an inch, took that as encouragement to keep pushing.
“My parents don’t know because they’re in Florida. They’re there partly because they were tired of Idaho winters and wanted warm weather year-round. Partly because my mom loves the beach and my dad loves my mom and wants her to have everything she loves. But mostly they moved to get away from my brother’s dysfunction which isn’t your average, everyday, run-of-the-mill bad behavior. Josh is unrelenting. He’s an ass who likes to spread his misery whenever he can. My parents got fed up and moved. They’re happy. Truly and completely happy. I’m not going to dump my bad life choices on their doorstep when they’re finally free to live their lives without my brother showing up every other day for no other reason than to upset them. And Nate is none of your business.”
“You’re wrong.”
I was wrong?
I jerked back, putting more distance between us. Reese didn’t like this. I knew because he took a step closer, negating my efforts.
“Wrong about what?”
“Your parents are not in Florida living the good life worry-free. I don’t have kids, but I do have good parents, and even though I’m an adult I know they still worry about me, and they do that regardless they know I got no troubles. So, your parents, knowing their son is the definition of trouble, are not worry-free. They’re fretting about their son. And the fact they’re doing it from Florida because they needed to escape their son means they’re doing it daily.”
He was correct. My parents worried daily about my brother.
“Another reason why I’m not going to tell them.”
“Bad choice, Sadie. When life gives you shit, best thing to do is reach out to the people who love you.”
“Thanks for the unwanted advice. You can leave now.”
“What bad life choices have you made?”
“Ones that aren’t your business.”
“When are you going to clue in, I’m making it my business.”
Red hued my vision.
“Is this fun for you? With everything I got going on, are you getting off on fucking with me? Huh, Reese, is this some sort of sick game? Kick the girl while she’s down?”
If my vision colored, Reese’s face turned to thunder.
“Told you then and I didn’t lie. I got off huge fucking you.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about and you damn well know it.”
“I’m ignoring the fucked-up shit that’s coming out—”
“Fucked-up shit,” I sputtered. “What’s fucked-up is you showing up at my house.”
“Who screwed you over?”
My insides boiled, my blood heated, fury struck. Yet I was speechless.
“Tell, me, Sadie. Who fucked you up? And please, don’t play me as the fool and deny it. First, you spew some jacked shit about being a dick-starved slut, which we both fuckin’ know is not why we tore into each other the other day. And just now you asking me if this shit is fun for me is equally, if not more, jacked-up. Someone’s fucked you over. Did this Nate guy do this to you?”
“Why would you think—”
“Textbook,” he cut me off. “Women have a bad habit of internalizing then projecting the shit some asshole force-fed them. A woman who’s confident in who she is does not see herself as a slut, much less say that garbage out loud. A woman who has not been jacked around by a man does not automatically think that the next man who comes along is fucking with her when in reality what he’s doing is trying to help a friend.”
“Friend? You’re not my friend.”
“Sadie, I’ve been inside you.”
Gah!
“Would you stop freaking talking about that! And just because we had sex doesn’t mean we’re friends. I’m sure you’ve had lots of sex with women who were not your friends.”
Either that or he had a lot of friends, because he was seriously good at sex. And he was a fantastic kisser. And he got an A-plus for dirty talk.
“We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you.”
It was then something struck me.
“Did you come here thinking you were gonna get me in bed?”
“Totally jacked,” he mumbled irately.
Reese’s gaze went from me to the table where I’d been packing up clothes that needed to be shipped. His eyes narrowed on the dresses and shoes, then I watched as he caught sight of the invoices I’d printed. After that he looked around the rest of the room, turning to take in the living room as well. I knew what he saw, and unlike my mother who I could lie to and tell I was spring cleaning in fall, Reese would figure it out.
“You’re selling your stuff.”
Yep. There it was. Meaning his statement was just that, a statement, not a question. And since it was such, I didn’t feel it warranted a response. Further from that, I was so embarrassed I’d been reduced to selling my personal belongings to pay my bills I couldn’t say anything. All the words were trapped in my throat, and I was fighting back tears of frustration.
“Sadie?”
“Please don’t,” I whispered.
All the anger had drained out of me until all that was left was humiliation.
Reese stepped closer and when he was within range his arm came up, his hand went to the side of my neck, and his fingers slid under my hair before they curled in and squeezed.
“You’re selling your stuff, sweetheart,” he repeated gently.
I’d never heard Reese’s voice so tender. It was a weird thing to think about, especially now, while I was mortified. He knew I wasn’t just broke, I was sell-my-clothes broke.
But I couldn’t help pondering which Reese was more dangerous to my sanity. Bossy, growly Reese. Sweet, gentle Reese. Or teasing, flirty Reese which was who he was when I’d first met him.
The man had three different personalities.
All dangerous in their own way.
But this soft side, it would do the most damage.
I knew he’d hurt me in a different way than Nate did. I would one day recover from what Nate did to me. But Reese…he could lay the hurt on me in a way that would shatter my heart.
Yet I still didn’t run.
I stayed and held my ground.
I’d learn later it was both my best and worst decision.