DEV TRIED TO sleep in Sloan’s king-size bed, but her mind was churning and wouldn’t shut down. She twisted and turned beneath the cotton sheet, watching the clock on the dresser move from midnight to 1:00 a.m. More than anything, she wanted Sloan here, beside her. She knew he would take her mind off the haunting terror eating at the fringes of her terrier-like brain. And she wanted to love him fully and completely because there was something beautiful that hung silent but unfulfilled between them. She wanted to tear at that unspoken yearning they both had for one another and expose it. He meant more to her at this stage than Bill had to her. What was love? She’d thought she’d known with Bill.
Dev didn’t try to hide from the word any longer. What she felt for Sloan was real. It wasn’t a figment of her imagination. The look in his eyes tonight had told her that. The ache between her legs intensified. It stunned her that in the midst of all this mounting danger, she was thinking of sex with Sloan. Wanting him. All of him. She sensed he’d be a tender lover and that was exactly what she needed. Even now, the yearning for him was always palpable, always there. No matter what. That was love, and Dev knew it.
How had she fallen so hard? So quickly? It took her breath away. She’d never loved anyone except Bill, and it had taken her nearly two years to realize it. It had been two months with Sloan. Dev trusted herself at this age far more than she had when she’d met Bill, years earlier. There was such a powerful attraction between her and Sloan. She couldn’t give it words, but she could feel it as if it were hot sunlight shining down upon her, embracing her, flooding her with the need to have him in every possible way. How badly she wanted Sloan with her, right now. And she was such a coward for not telling him what she wanted.
Pressing her face into the down pillow, the sheet and blanket twisted around her legs, Dev wondered if how she felt was fair to Sloan. Did danger make a person want sex? She’d been in plenty of danger in Afghanistan and had never felt one inkling of sexual hunger in the midst of it. Not one iota. It had to be Sloan. Her attraction to him. Or was it because she felt vulnerable to the threat of Gordon being around again?
Making a sound of frustration, she turned onto her side, jamming the pillow beneath her head, staring off into the darkness. Finally, Dev came to the conclusion that her attraction to Sloan had started on the day she’d met him. It didn’t happen instantly when Gordon appeared on the scene. She was falling in love with this easygoing cowboy who always seemed to be there to catch her when she stumbled or fell.
There was more to it than just the physical, and Dev knew it. Her heart widened with a wild array of feelings toward Sloan. He invited her trust. He was painfully honest about himself to a fault. And his sensitivity toward her amazed Dev. She’d never met a man like him. Bill had been sensitive, too, but not to the degree Sloan was. Closing her eyes, Dev wondered why her world was falling apart around her again. Hadn’t she paid enough of a price with Gordon’s first attack? She’d gathered the courage and testified in court against him and he’d been put away. The sentence was too short in her opinion, but the good-ole-boys network had stuck together, protecting their Gordon, not her, the victim. Dev had seen the amusement in the eyes of the judge who’d presided over the case. She’d known then Gordon would get a slap on the hand. And now he was out and hunting her down once again. The male judge had not done his job.
Somewhere between all those thoughts, Dev finally fell into an exhausted sleep, her mind finally shutting down.
* * *
THE INSTANT SLOAN heard Dev’s scream through the closed bedroom door, he bolted off the couch, the covers flying. Disoriented for a moment, sleep tearing from him, he vaguely heard Mouse growl and leap to his feet, hackles rising.
“Stay,” he ordered his dog thickly.
Sloan twisted the knob, throwing the door open. In the bare light from a small bulb in a wall socket near the dresser, he saw Dev sitting up in bed, pushed up against the massive wooden headboard, terror in her eyes. Her breathing was explosive and ragged. Sloan saw she wasn’t here but caught in the vise of the nightmare. He was familiar with flashbacks in military vets and Dev had the same look etched in her frozen features as they’d had.
“Dev?” he called gently, sitting down on her side of the bed. Sloan knew better than to touch or try to hold her. Flashbacks meant she could still be caught up in a horrific event, and if he reached out for her, Dev might think he was the person in her nightmare instead. It would cause her more stress and fear. In a low voice, Sloan called her name, reassuring her that she was all right and that she was in a safe place.
Slowly, her chest stopped heaving. Sloan saw her eyes change and he purposely kept his voice low, talking her down. Talking Dev back to the here and now, helping her loosen herself from the crushing event that she was trapped within. Tears streamed unchecked down her taut, pale cheeks. He felt helpless in so many ways, wishing to hell he could slip his arms around Dev and haul her into the safety of his arms. But he couldn’t do it. Not yet. She pressed her hands to her face, a sob escaping her contorted lips.
“I—I’m sorry I woke you,” Dev choked out brokenly, dropping her hands from her face, giving him a look of abject apology.
“Don’t be, sugar. It’s all right. You’re back now and you’re safe.” Sloan saw pain come into her glistening eyes, the way her mouth twisted. Dev needed to cry. Sloan opened his arms a bit as a silent invitation to her. He didn’t know what Dev wanted or needed right now, and wasn’t about to assume anything.
She lifted her head and her eyes met his. There was such regret in them.
“Come here.” Sloan offered his outstretched hand to her.
Dev hesitated and then slowly loosened from her frozen position against the headboard. Tears continued to leak out of her eyes. She reached out and gripped his proffered hand. His warm, rough fingers wrapped around her damp ones, drawing her forward to her knees.
“I—I had a nightmare,” Dev whispered unsteadily, needing Sloan’s offered embrace. Dev saw the sympathy burning in his shadowed eyes.
“I know. It’s okay, Dev. Come on. Let me hold you for a bit. It’ll make you feel better.”
Never had an invitation sounded so necessary in her life. Heart still pounding because the adrenaline was keeping her tense, she gave a jerky nod. In moments, Sloan had settled her across his lap and brought her up against his naked upper body. She sighed brokenly and rested her head wearily against his broad, strong shoulder. His flesh was warm and taut beneath her cheek, his scent masculine and steadying as she breathed it in deeply. Sloan wore nothing but a pair of light blue pajama bottoms. As she slowly wound her arm around his waist, wanting to be as close as she could get, she felt his hand settle against her hip, drawing her fully against him.
All the terror bled out of Dev then. Sloan’s large hand moved slowly up and down her thigh to her hip, soothing her, making her feel shielded and grounded. It wasn’t sexual at all. It was one human comforting another. Closing her eyes tightly, fresh, hot tears spilled, wetting his flesh. Dev couldn’t help herself and one sob after another started to pull out of her, jerking her body. And every time, she would feel Sloan’s arm tighten a little bit in reaction, as if to silently absorb that hurt and console her. His lips pressed against her hair. Dev sobbed a little more, unable to control the shaking of her body. She had never cried in a man’s arms before. Right now, she had never felt more loved. She’d been so caught up in her terror, the years of pain and fear locked inside her, and now the tears poured freely out of her for the first time in her life.
Dev had no idea how long she cried, only that afterward, she sank limply against him as her sobs ebbed. Sloan lightly skimmed the strands of her hair, his hand curving slowly up and down her back as she lay in his arms. Her body began to hum with each stroke from her head to her hip. It comforted her. But her breasts against his darkly haired chest began to tighten, as well. For long moments Dev lay with her eyes shut, absorbing Sloan’s warm, taut flesh beneath her cheek, now gleaming wet with her endless tears, and a new urgency awakened somewhere deep inside her.
Her breasts ached for Sloan’s touch each time his long fingers moved slowly through the strands of her black hair, lingering to gently massage the sensitive nape of her neck, then following the line of her spine downward. Everywhere Sloan’s fingers skimmed, her skin grew taut, and flames fired through her, spreading ever outward with the pleasure he was giving her.
Time lulled and Dev became lost in his languid strokes across her body. With each graze, her tension dissolved a little more. Sloan’s scent mingled with the sage soap he’d used earlier. His moist breath cascaded softly across her damp cheek. Her brow was pressed against his jaw, his beard chafing her skin, making it come alive with awareness. Dev whispered Sloan’s name, sliding her arm across his shoulder and fully pressing herself against him. She felt so empty inwardly but getting as close as she could to him eased that sense of being suspended in nothingness. With Sloan, she came alive in every possible way.
As Dev twisted her hips against him, silently letting him know she wanted him as more than a comforter, she tried to prepare herself for his rejection. Sloan had come in to give her solace, not to love her. But love was what Dev wanted from this quiet country man who saw life simply through his intelligent blue eyes. She thought he saw her the same way. It was a sense, that was all. But it was strong within her and she shifted her head to his shoulder, opening her eyes, meeting his concerned gaze.
“Dev,” he rasped thickly, “is this what you really want?”
She drowned in his gleaming, shadowed, cobalt gaze. Saw him conflicted between giving her comfort and giving in to the longing he held for her. His hand came to rest on her hip as he continued to hold her close. “It’s exactly what I need, Sloan.” Dev lifted her hand, wiping the last of the tears from her lashes. “I’ve wanted you for so long...” She saw his expression shift to one of surprise. And then, it was quickly replaced with a new tenderness she’d not seen before. It gave her the courage to go on. “I was afraid to discuss it with you, Sloan. I thought it might only be me feeling this way...” Her voice trailed off into silence.
“You weren’t the only one thinking along that line, gal. So was I.” Sloan frowned, his tone becoming more serious, searching her eyes. “Dev? This has to be about more than just you wanting safety and comfort after that nightmare. I feel it’s more than that, but I need to hear that from you.”
Dev dragged in a deep, steadying breath. “Tonight just triggered all of it, Sloan. I’ve been wanting you for as long as I’ve known you. I was just too chicken to tell you.” Dev wiped her cheek dry. She was surrounded and absorbed by Sloan’s powerful male body. She could feel the leashed power around him, that intense yearning in his eyes and flowing through his tensed body.
Sloan lifted his hand from her hip, cupping her jaw, looking deep into her eyes. His voice was low. “You’re one of the bravest people I’ve even known, Dev.” His thumb caressed her cheek as he leaned down, his mouth a breath from her lips. “I want to love you, too...”
Closing her eyes, she lifted her chin that scant inch to meet his descending mouth. The warmth of his breath flowed across her nose and cheek as she opened to his nudging lips, desperately wanting another kiss just like the last one.
Dev wasn’t disappointed. Her heart started pounding unevenly as heat thrilled and streamed throughout her body, flooding hotly into her channel, making her thighs clench with need. Sloan’s kiss was grazing, absorbing her lips, her taste, and Dev felt cherished. No man had ever made her feel as priceless and beautiful as he did. Her fingers slid up his jaw, threading into the dark, clean strands of his hair above his ear. Sloan stiffened and though he was clearly trying to maintain rigid control over himself she felt him react powerfully to her tentative, searching touch.
As he moved his tongue across her lower lip, testing her, Dev moaned and felt her breasts grow taut with need, and she pressed her nipples wantonly against his broad chest. She became lost in the fire between them, the hunger of his exploring mouth taking her slowly, as if he were sipping a fine wine, allowing the taste of her to fully flow through every cell in his body. Sloan was not in a hurry like so many other men always were. He wanted to get to know every square inch of her as he cupped her jaw, angled her such that his tongue moved sinuously against her own.
Instinctively, Dev arched into Sloan as he drew her solidly against himself. She could clearly feel the hardness of his erection straining tautly against his pajamas. There was no mistaking Sloan’s need for her. Moisture collected swiftly between her thighs. As his tongue rocked gently against hers, waiting for her to respond, she breathed in his ragged breath, his long fingers anchoring her, holding her captive against him. She felt as if he were going to eat her like a delicious, sinful dessert. The seduction of his mouth sliding against hers allowed Dev to sink fully into her exploding senses.
She moaned as he eased from her wet lips, barely opening her eyes, lost in the lightning heat bolting through her. Sloan had only kissed her and she knew without a doubt her panties were soaked. That was the intense yearning they synergized between one another. Dazed and breathless, she stared into Sloan’s intense-looking eyes, and Dev became lost in the turbulent blue and gold within them.
“Are you protected?” he asked, his voice low, urgent in tone.
It took long seconds for Dev to come back to Earth. “I’m on the pill. I’m clean, Sloan, no diseases.” She saw one corner of his mouth hook upward.
“Same here. Do you want me to wear a condom?”
With a shake of her head, she said, “No.”
He nodded and released her, allowing her to sit fully on his lap, his one arm around her waist, holding her so she wouldn’t fall.
Dev slowly eased off his thighs. Her legs were unsteady because she wanted him so badly. Gripping his shoulder, she pushed off her socks. “I haven’t had many partners,” she admitted, standing and tugging at her pajama bottoms.
“That’s okay. No sin in being picky.”
She grinned down at him, her whole body consumed by the sensual fire racing through her. He eased her trembling fingers away from her drawstring waistband.
“Let me untie that for you?”
“Your hands are more steady than mine are. That’s a compliment to you...your kiss...”
Sloan’s mouth curved faintly as he loosened the string and let the pants fall. “Not for long. You make me burn, sugar.”
His words drenched her like liquid flames. Sloan stood and he began to undress, as well. If Dev had thought she’d feel embarrassed about getting naked with Sloan, she wasn’t. Instead, as the clothes piled up around their feet, she admired him fully naked, feeling nothing but raw desire. The play of muscles throughout his shoulders and chest was hypnotic to Dev. There was something so mesmerizing about Sloan, though she couldn’t define it because her mind was useless at this point. She felt like a primal female in heat, wanting her mate.
The look in Sloan’s eyes, that gleam of appreciation for her as he stood naked, made Dev tingle all over with a keening ache. Her nipples puckered beneath his intense look as his gaze swept her from head to toes. If Dev had had any worries about being ugly, or not perfect enough, or her breasts being too small for him, they all dissolved beneath that one sweeping, blistering look he gave her.
Sloan walked toward her, sliding his fingers through her clean black hair. “Sugar, you are beautiful to me in every way,” he murmured, pressing light kisses across her hair, massaging her scalp, allowing his fingers to caress her sensitive nape. “You were beautiful in my dreams, but in real life?” Sloan leaned down, licking that exquisitely sensitive spot behind her ear, and drew an immediate gasp from Dev. “You are ten times prettier...”
Dev moved forward, gliding her breasts against his chest sprinkled with dark hair. When her rounded belly met the hard, warm length of his erection, her knees suddenly went weak. Sloan must have sensed her reaction because in one smooth, unbroken motion, he lifted her into his arms. He turned and settled Dev into the center of his bed. Sloan’s face was deeply shadowed, with only a night-light on, and she thrilled at his primal expression. He wanted her. It was such a delicious discovery. And never had Dev wanted anyone more than this man.
* * *
SLOAN INWARDLY TENSED, ruthlessly controlling himself for Dev’s sake. He kept telling himself to go slow, to take his time with her. If she hadn’t had many partners, it became a question of just how experienced she was. He didn’t mind himself one way or the other, but Sloan did care for Dev’s possible innocence. She might not be used to certain positions or the many ways a man could love his woman. And he wanted this first time to be special for both of them.
As he came and lay at her right side, skimming his hand from her shoulder then capturing her hand, he watched for her reaction. He opened her palm and licked the center of it, and her pupils grew large and black. Her eyes fluttered half-closed for a moment, as if she were enjoying the sensations he was creating in her opened palm. So much of what he knew about loving a woman involved foreplay, getting her so hot and ready that she wanted to scream. A woman was slower than a man to come online sexually, but when she did, she could have as many orgasms as she wanted compared to his one. Slow start, but a damn strong finish.
“Is there anything that you especially like?” he asked, raising his eyes from her palm, holding her languid gaze.
Confusion came to Dev’s eyes and he got it: she was truly a neophyte. A woman with more experience would have no trouble telling him what she desired. He smiled and leaned down, caressing her lips. “It’s okay,” he whispered against her mouth, “you just tell me what pleases you as we go along. Or, if I make you uncomfortable, tell me right away, Dev.” Sloan gave her a light kiss and drew back enough to engage her gaze, which burned with need for him.
“Yes, I can do that. But I want to please you, too. This isn’t a one-way street, Sloan.”
He nodded, mouth hooking upward. “Fair enough, sugar, but this first time? Let’s just get to know one another. You okay with me taking the lead this one time?”
“Fine,” Dev answered, “this one time.”
He liked her spirit. Dev might be less experienced in some ways, but she was able to share and his heart swelled. There was no question in Sloan’s mind about her natural unselfishness and generosity. “Sounds like a plan,” he murmured, moving his mouth across her parted lips. She was so sleek, soft and responsive as he pressed her to open her mouth so he could taste her fully. Instantly, her body slid urgently against his. He caressed the curve of her breast. She purred deep in her throat. The sound hardened him and Sloan left her lush mouth and settled his lips upon the taut nipple just begging for his attention. The moment he suckled her, Dev about came undone in his arms, her hips clashing urgently against his, sending a hot blaze up through him.
If Sloan had thought that neophyte meant shy, he’d been delightfully mistaken. Dev moved sinuously against his hips and erection like a cat rubbing against him. Her fingers slipped though his hair, sliding downward, gripping his thick shoulder muscles as he continued to tease her nipple. Her moan shuddered through him, sending a spike of heat throughout his rigid body. Lifting his lips, he paid an equal amount of time and attention to her other nipple. Dev twisted and writhed beneath him, her small cries sending a flurry of pounding heat through him. She had turned wild and wanton, completely immersed in the intense pleasure rippling through her. It made Sloan feel good and strong as a man that he could please her like this. Nothing meant more to him.
Taking her mouth, Sloan crushed her lips against his, her breasts raking across his chest, fire searing through him. He moved his hand downward, eased her thighs open. His fingers met her dampness. She was more than ready. Sloan wanted to do so much more with Dev, but he cautioned himself to keep it simple. Basic. To let her guide him to what she desired from him. The moment he caressed her wet entrance, a strangled cry erupted from her. She arched upward, pressing against his fingers with her woman’s strength. Sloan was surprised at her power. Her sleek, firm thighs, curved with muscles honed from riding a horse, made him salivate. Heat surged through him, making him groan as she thrust her hips toward his wet fingers. He began to tease her.
Nearly losing his concentration, Sloan kissed the length of her neck, nipping the flesh, soothing it with his tongue, feeling Dev move boldly against his fingers, asking for more. He heard her moan in frustration, wanting him to explore her further, to feel him inside her. Sloan took one of her nipples at the same moment he gently slid his finger into her.
A cry tore from Dev and she clutched frantically at his shoulders, hips moving powerfully against him, wanting more, much more of him. A powerful drumlike rhythm sheared through Sloan as he felt how small and tight she was. His own body was on the edge of exploding. Withdrawing his finger, he lifted his body across her damp one. He saw the desperation in Dev’s half-open eyes, saw the lust shining in them. Taking her hands, he held them gently above her head, opening her thighs with his knee, gauging her reaction. The moment he pressed his erection against that hot, welcoming gate of hers, she shut her eyes, arching hungrily, silently inviting him into her.
Sloan froze, feeling the tight grip of her around him, knowing it had to stress her. But one look at Dev’s flushed features, the ecstasy across them, and he pulled back and then eased forward once again. He wanted to introduce himself slowly to her body. He wanted to avoid causing her discomfort, or worse, pain. With each slow, pumping movement, her cries turned to whimpers of pleasure, her hands opening and closing as he held her wrists captive. Increasing the rhythm, he felt her lower body beginning to contract, a sign she was close to orgasm. Beads of sweat trickled down his temples and his teeth clenched as he held himself in check for Dev’s sake.
Sloan pushed deep into her, feeling her body accommodate him, hearing Dev’s sobbing and panting. Her hips were restless and urgent beneath his. And as she slid her long, slender legs around his waist, Sloan knew he could take her now. He thrust deeply into her. His entire body shook and broke out in a sweat as he felt her hurtling toward that orgasm, groaning as he fought to withhold his own reactive release.
Dev gave a long, keening cry, her entire body flexing upward, paralyzed as Sloan felt her body blossoming from within, that thick, hot fluid drowning him in the most pleasurable of ways. He kept up the rhythm, holding her hands in place, watching a flush sweep across her chest, across her exposed neck and into her taut face that mirrored ecstasy. And it was then, as she rocked into him, that Sloan released her wrists, and her hands settled around his narrow hips. He kept thrusting, understanding Dev would automatically come again, very quickly. And just as he released himself into her, she cried out, fingers digging into his flesh as a second, even more powerful orgasm flooded her. Eyes tightly closed, his teeth clenched, Sloan gripped the bedsheets on either side of her head, surging deep within her, feeling fire rip down his spine, erupt within his lower body, making him growl like the animal he’d become in these scalding moments. His mind turned to jelly and he strained, every muscle screaming as the red-hot intensity jetted through him, taking her, loving her, never wanting to let Dev go.