DEV FELT HER throat close as Sloan asked the question, but she pushed through the fear. “Cat was saying that with you, what you see is what you get.” She shrugged. “I can’t fully trust myself to see people very well, Sloan. But I do trust Cat. And I know the Holt family loves you. You’re one of them.”
“Is that what you believe?” Sloan asked gently.
Her heart thrashed in her chest and Dev desperately wanted to move into Sloan’s arms. She knew he’d open them, allow her to crawl into them to hide. To feel safe. “Yes,” she whispered, her voice choked sounding, “I do believe that.”
“So what’s got you so bothered, Dev? I see fear in your eyes sometimes.”
She stood up, wrapping her arms around herself, looking out over the Tetons now covered with thickening, fluffy clouds at their peaks. The sun had set behind them. The light was bright here and there in that constantly swirling, changing mass of clouds. Dev turned toward Sloan. “This is going to sound stupid,” she warned him. “But for the last three weeks, I feel as if someone has been watching me, Sloan. I don’t know if it’s my wild imagination or if it’s real.” She opened her hands, feeling confused. “It feels like Gordon. Honest to God, it does.” She watched his tightening features. A flash of concern flared in Sloan’s narrowing blue eyes.
Pacing back and forth on the path in front of the swing, Dev said, “Now I’m waking up some nights, having nightmares about the bastard again. Sometimes, I think I hear him at the door, twisting the doorknob, trying to get in. But Bella isn’t barking, so I know it’s in my head. It’s horrible, Sloan.” She pressed her hand to her brow and halted in front of him. “I feel some days like I’m going crazy because I feel his eyes, feel his eyes on my back again. Watching me.”
“Have you seen him?” Sloan asked, frowning.
Giving a shake of her head, Dev said, “I wish I had! If I’d seen him, then I’d know I wasn’t making it up. It would be real. When I leave the apartment to go to work, I’m looking around like a scared animal, Sloan.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this before?” he demanded.
“Because I didn’t think you’d believe me. I thought—” Dev shrugged “—you’d think that I’d gone off the deep end or something.”
Sloan rose slowly. Opening his arms, he said thickly, “Come here, Dev.”
A lump formed in her throat. There was nothing she’d rather do than go to Sloan. Without a word, she stepped into his arms, pressing her cheek against his chest, wrapping her arms around his narrow waist. Just the sensation of his hard, muscular arms around her allowed her to release a sigh of relief. Inhaling his scent, part sweat, part clean soap and his maleness, Dev shut her eyes tightly.
“It’s going to be all right,” Sloan soothed, grazing her hair and sliding his hand lightly up and down her back.
“I feel so ashamed,” Dev muttered into his shirt. “Like I’m losing it or something.”
“I believe you are picking up on something,” Sloan confided to her in a low voice. “There are things we can do to prove it, one way or another, Dev. We can go to Cade Garner, the deputy sheriff, and you can tell him your story. He won’t think you’re crazy, either. I’m sure Cade can check up on Gordon’s whereabouts.”
She sagged against Sloan, who felt like a protective oak tree. His arms held her gently, not too tightly, helping her ratchet down her anxiety and worry. Lifting her head away from him, she looked up. “What could Cade do?”
“Find out where Gordon is located. He spent time as a felon. He’s out of prison now and probably has a parole officer. And he no doubt has to check in with him weekly.”
“Okay, that’s a good idea. He was also supposed to wear an ankle device that would show his whereabouts.” Dev felt so good in his arms. And then she whispered, “Sloan, thank you...for everything. Right now, the way I feel, you’re like a rudder in my life.” He smiled faintly, his eyes burning with so much more than he was acting upon. She didn’t want to pull out of his arms, but Dev didn’t dare stay, either. It wasn’t fair to Sloan to tease him. She knew it was a special hell he was caught within, too. As she released her arms from around his waist, he allowed her to step away from him.
“You’re an empath, Dev. Let’s find out the facts and we can go from there.”
* * *
DEV’S HANDS WERE damp as she sat nervously in Cade Garner’s office a week later. The morning sunlight was strong and from his glass-enclosed office, she could see the rest of the busy sheriff’s department gearing up for the day. Sloan was standing nearby since there was only one chair at the front of the deputy’s desk. Even after a week, she was still frazzled by that sense that someone was watching her. Earlier, when looking in the mirror, she’d noticed there were shadows beneath her eyes because she wasn’t sleeping well at night, either. Her only comfort was Bella, who was a watchdog of the first order. Glancing to her right, she saw Sloan was leaning casually against the doorjamb, watching the comings and goings of civilians and deputies up and down the polished-tile hall.
Dev eyed him worriedly. “What if I’m wrong? What if Gordon isn’t anywhere near here?”
“I believe that someone is watching you. Maybe you’re still working through some of the shock that’s still surfacing from your last attack, Dev.”
She immediately settled down beneath his low, soothing tone. Most important, Sloan wasn’t questioning her. He had no idea how much that meant to her.
A deputy as tall as Sloan with black hair and gray eyes entered the office. It had to be Cade Garner. He shook hands with Sloan and then halted at her chair.
“I’m Cade Garner, Miss McGuire. I’m sorry we couldn’t see you sooner. I was following up on your complaint,” he said, holding out his hand to her.
“I—I’m sorry to take up your time on something that is probably my imagination,” she rushed on, giving him an apologetic look.
“Not so fast,” Cade cautioned her, coming around the desk and sitting down. He nodded toward Sloan, who quietly closed the door, giving the three of them privacy.
Dev felt Sloan’s hand come to rest gently on her shoulder. He was standing so close she could feel the heat off his body. Automatically, she inhaled his scent and it steadied her nerves. Cade had a file on his desk and opened it, his expression serious. He held up a color photo.
“Is this Bart Gordon?” he asked her.
Instantly, Dev’s stomach clenched. Her mouth went dry. “Yes...it’s him. And please call me Dev.”
“Okay,” Cade said grimly, sliding the photo into the folder. He held her gaze. “Gordon’s parole office reported him missing a month ago, Dev.”
Gasping, she came out of the chair. “That’s when I started feeling him around me!” she cried out, her heart frantically pounding. She jerked a look up at Sloan, terrified. His eyes were dark with concern.
Cade nodded. “I’ve got an APB out on him in Teton County, Dev. No one has seen him around here. At least, not yet.” He opened his hands. “And he may not be here, but maybe he’s in the general vicinity. We just don’t know, yet.”
“His parole officer? The ankle bracelet he had to wear?” Sloan asked, guiding Dev back to the chair. “Has he checked into Gordon’s family?”
“He has,” Cade said. “He cut off the ankle monitor. It was found in his apartment. His mother had no idea where he is. His brother, Justin, who is a car mechanic in Martinsburg, West Virginia, hasn’t a clue, either. And the brother doesn’t like Bart too much, from what the parole officer who dropped by his shop and interviewed him said.”
“Did Gordon have a car?”
“A silver Dodge Ram truck,” Cade said. “We’ve got the make and the license plate.” He gave Dev a gentle look. “Have you spotted him at all since we last talked on the phone a week ago?”
She shook her head. “No. But...I feel him. I know this sounds weird, but I feel his energy around me.” She slid her arms around her waist, feeling as if she were slowly suffocating once more. Only Sloan’s reassuring hand on her shoulder helped her stop going down that path.
“As law enforcement, many times we’re working off our hunches and intuition, too, Dev. I believe you. Okay?”
Relief tunneled through her. Two people believed her. “Thank you. What do I do now? What if Gordon’s around here? Watching me? Stalking me again?” Her voice grew hoarse as she asked the last question. Sloan’s fingers move lightly across her shoulder, comforting her.
Cade remained resolute. “Just stay alert. Don’t go anywhere without someone with you, if you can.”
“I think,” Sloan said, slanting a glance down at her, “that we need to talk to our supervisor, Charlotte Hastings, about this. She can’t be putting you in situations where you’re alone until this situation is resolved, Dev.”
Licking her lip, she gave a jerky nod. “Yes...okay...that’s a good idea. I’ll do that Monday.”
“I’ll go in with you if you want,” Sloan offered, holding her distraught gaze.
“I’d like that. Thank you.” Because right now, Dev felt like she was splintering apart within herself once again.
“You know that Gordon had sealed juvenile court documents? That we can’t touch them? But he did something illegal when he was fifteen,” Cade added.
“Did the officer interviewing the brother ask him about it?”
Cade shook his head. “No. And unless we get a confirmed sighting of this man, I can’t go back and demand to have those sealed records opened.”
“I understand,” Dev said. “I—just feel so horrible, like it’s happening all over again. Only this time, I know he’s out there and he’s stalking me. The first time, I was completely blind to it until he sneaked up behind me and attacked me in the barn, Cade.”
“I understand,” Cade murmured, sympathetic.
“Listen,” Sloan said in a deep voice, holding her moist gaze, “you have me. I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Dev. This time around, you have Cade and his department out looking for this guy. They’re going to find him if he’s around here. They’re good at what they do.” He moved his hand soothingly across her shoulder. “And I have your back, Dev. Take a couple of deep breaths and we’ll work through this situation. You’re going to be fine.”
Dev’s insides felt like so much jelly. Now the terror was flowing strongly through her. She had sensed Gordon. It had felt like a thick, oily film surrounding her, closing in on her, slowly suffocating her. She desperately needed some fresh air, was unable to sit still much longer. When she got rattled like this, she had to walk. “I need some fresh air,” she told them, her voice unsteady.
Cade rose. “Of course. Can I get you a cup of cold water?”
Sloan slid his hand around her upper arm, helping her stand.
“No... I just need air. I need to move around. I guess I feel like if I sit still too long, I’m a target,” she joked weakly. There was no way she could force this fear down and make it go away. She was grateful that Sloan placed his hand in the small of her back. Cade opened the door for her.
“We’ll be in touch,” he promised her. “The moment we get eyes on this guy, you will be called. I’m going to see what I can do about getting his juvie court records opened.”
“Good,” Dev whispered, reaching out and squeezing his hand. “Thanks so much, Cade. It feels good to have some protection this time around.” Because there had been none before. She felt Sloan’s large hand, warm and comforting. Dev didn’t mean to, but she leaned into him, the fear so great she couldn’t get her feet working right until she really focused on them.
* * *
DRIVING ON THE way home, Sloan tried to keep his emotions hidden from Dev. He saw her wrestling with the situation, her fingers in constant motion in her lap. Her lips were set and she was tense.
“Talk to me?” he urged. “What’s going on inside your head, Dev?”
“I’m angry. I’m so pissed I can’t see straight, Sloan. How dare this bastard come after me again!” She threw up her hands. “I realize I don’t have proof he’s here, but I feel him! That’s enough for me.”
“And it was enough for Cade Garner,” Sloan reasoned with her, glancing over at her. Normally, Dev’s cheeks were a pink color, but right now, she was pale. Her green eyes that normally reminded him of a deep emerald were dark and scared looking. “You have people who will protect you this time around, Dev. It isn’t a forest supervisor taking Gordon’s side of the argument this time around. Cade will do everything within his legal power to find this bastard. So will Charlotte. I’m sure she’ll hand out a photo of Gordon throughout the USFS system, both here and in Yellowstone Park.”
“Gordon’s hiding in plain sight,” Dev muttered defiantly. “That’s what he did at our park HQ. He waited until we were alone. Or he’d follow me into a room or office when no one else was around, to entrap me.”
Sloan scowled. “That supervisor should have been fired.”
“Oh, he’s still there, believe me. I feel sorry for all the other women rangers who are forced to work under him. He’s prejudicial as hell against women in general,” Dev said angrily.
“Charlotte will believe you. We should go to see her Monday. I think she’ll want to know for a lot of good reasons.”
Cutting him a glance, she demanded, “Is Hastings one of those women who is a good ole boy at heart? That will take a man’s side over a woman’s word? They’re out there, you know.”
“I know they are. But I’ve been here for two years and Charlotte has never been like that from what I can see. She’s fair and evenhanded and doesn’t consider gender in her decisions. People get promoted based upon their abilities, not their sex.”
“That’s good to hear because frankly—” Dev pressed her hand against her stomach “—I’m terrified of seeing Hastings. I worry she’ll be like my other supervisor and blame me for Gordon stalking me. Will say that if I wasn’t such a pretty young woman, if I didn’t have such a great-looking body, that it wouldn’t have happened.” Her mouth flattened. “I’m so sick of that kind of attitude.”
He reached out, gripping her tightly fisted hands in her lap. “There are a lot of good people who respect women as equals. You have me, you have Cade Garner and many more besides us. There will be plenty of others who will support you.” He squeezed her clasped hands gently and released them. “I know Charlotte will back you on this. She’ll do everything in her power to see to it that you are kept safe and are not anywhere alone while on duty.”
“It’s a start,” Dev whispered. “Maybe if these men could put the face of their wife, their daughter, mother, aunt or grandmother on the woman they’re stalking, they’d think twice about doing it.”
“That would be helpful,” Sloan said. “But those kind of men are sick. They’ve been taught that it’s okay to abuse a woman, take what they want from one, that they won’t be held accountable.”
“I got some of that when I was in the Marine Corps,” Dev said, her voice sounding exhausted. “If it weren’t for Bella, who’s a great watchdog, there were guys in my company who might have raped me. I saw it in their eyes, the way they treated me, the way they hinted around that, when they found me alone, they were going to force me to have sex with them. One sergeant tried, and Bella attacked and bit him. He drew his knife and was going to slit her throat because she’d defended me. I started screaming and it brought the gunny sergeant running. He saved us.”
Dev shivered. “Thank God our gunny intervened. I pressed charges. But it went nowhere. The captain of the company buried it. The Marine got his ass chewed, but that was all. The only thing that stood between me and that group of Marines was the gunny and he had a little “talk” with them one night. From that time on, everyone left me alone, but I could feel their hatred, their anger. They wanted to get even with me for reporting the Marine who attacked me. As it was, my rate was frozen and I didn’t make sergeant like I should have. It was just too much, Sloan. Too much.”
“It would be for anyone,” Sloan agreed, shaking his head.
“That was why, when my enlistment was up, I got out. I loved doing what I did with my dog, finding IEDs and keeping everyone safe, but I had to deal with daily sexual harassment in the military. And now there’s a statistic from 2014 that shows twenty-six thousand military women were raped in the services. One out of every eight women who joins the military can expect to be raped. And those men are usually in the same company as the woman. Hell, I didn’t just have to be scared of the enemy hurting me. I had to be afraid of the men in my own company raping me. That’s not acceptable. I got out.”
“It’s completely unacceptable,” Sloan growled.
“If I were a mother, I’d never allow my daughter to serve in the military. Not with that kind of good-ole-boy system protecting the rapists and blaming the survivors.” Her mouth curved downward.
Sloan heard the steel in her lowered voice. Felt the outrage around her. And he was glad to see the anger rising because so many women had been brainwashed and taught that it wasn’t all right to show their anger. Or to act upon it in a healthy way when they did feel it. “Keep your anger out in front of you like a shield, Dev. You’ve a right to feel it. No man should use his power against you for any reason. You’re a human being. You deserve to be respected.”
“Can I clone a billion of you?” Dev asked, giving him a grateful look. “Replace other men with your kind?”
Sloan chuckled. “Oh, I have my warts, gal, that’s for sure. I’m far from perfect.”
“That’s okay. I like you just the way you are.”
Sloan smiled. “And I like you just the way you are, too.” His heart warmed and he ached to draw Dev into his arms, give her the sense of support Sloan knew he could give her. But there were so many fine lines to tread with her. If he acted on his protective instincts too aggressively, Dev might lump him in with men like Gordon, or those who had sexually harassed her in the Marine Corps. The stress and hurt in Dev’s face tore at him. What the hell was wrong with men thinking they could do this to any woman? He kept his anger to himself. It would do no good to show it.
“Would Bella protect you if Gordon found you?”
“I’m sure she would. At the time of the attack, she was in my truck, not with me. When I got away from Gordon, she was barking, trying to get out of the truck, sensing something was wrong. Bella bit that Marine sergeant that tried to corner me in a deserted Afghan home. She didn’t wait. She lunged and grabbed his lower left arm and left four huge puncture holes in it.”
“That’s good to hear,” Sloan said. “Because she’s your first line of defense. Bella may well sense Gordon before you do. Better hearing. Better sense of smell.”
“You’re right,” Dev admitted. “But I can’t take her into the grocery store or restaurants or the other places I have to go to do my business in town, Sloan.”
“I know.” And Sloan didn’t like the idea of Dev being without her brave dog who would give her life for her if she needed to. Damn, he’d like some confirmation that someone, somewhere, had seen Gordon. His hands tightened on the wheel as they drove into the southern end of town, heading back to their apartment complex. “Look,” he said, catching her gaze for a moment, “I’m right across the hall from you. If you feel scared or you feel Gordon around, you need to come over and tell me. Will you do that for me?”
“What? And wake you up in the middle of the night, Sloan? You need your sleep. I don’t get that much sleep since I’ve felt Gordon around. Why wake you up? There are times I have nightmares and I’m so caught up in them, I don’t know what is real and what is a dream.”
“Bella will know,” Sloan told her patiently, frowning. “If Gordon really is stalking the halls of this place, Bella will take off barking at the door.”
“That’s true and I know that. When I get jerked out of sleep by one of my nightmares, Bella comes into the bedroom. She licks my hand, whines and tries to comfort me.” Her voice softened. “Usually, Bella sleeps right by my bedroom door. And you’re right, she’d be the first to hear someone moving in the hall outside my apartment and sound the alarm.”
Sloan nodded. “Mouse would hear him, too, believe me. And when he barks, he shakes the rafters. There’s nothing meek about my dog’s bark. He can sense if someone is out in the hall and up to no good. He’s been trained to know an enemy by sensing alone and he’s good at it, Dev.”
“Well,” she said wryly, “between our two dogs, if Gordon thinks he can come up to my apartment and break in, he’ll get the surprise of the century.”
“Mouse would tear that door of mine apart trying to get out to reach you,” Sloan said. “He likes you. And he’d know if someone was coming to harm you.”
“Mouse has already made me part of his pack,” she agreed.
“He has. But he’s a big alpha male and he’s the head of the pack.” Sloan saw a little bit of hope come to her eyes. The more he could rally the resources they had around her, the easier it would be to keep her safe. And there was nothing like a dog as a first alarm. “And you have me, you know.”
“Believe me, I wouldn’t be feeling very strong right now if you weren’t in the mix, Sloan. And I appreciate you so much. I’m just so torn up by all of this. I thought by moving out here I was leaving it all behind me.”
“Until Gordon is caught,” Sloan told her, “you need to surround yourself with people who care about you, Dev. You don’t have to fight this alone, this time. You have Iris Mason and her family. And you have Miss Gus and the Holt and McPherson families. They all love you like a daughter or a sister.” His eyes twinkled as he saw her rally. “And you have me and my big bad guard dog, Mouse.” A faint smile pulled tentatively at her lips. As much as Sloan wanted to tell her to come and live with him, he couldn’t go there. Dev wouldn’t do it because she had battled all her life, alone and without support, starting with the family she grew up in. And it would take Dev time to adjust to the idea that others would not only be there for her, but damn well protect her if that’s what it came down to.
“They’re all the family I wished I’d grown up with,” Dev admitted. “I so look forward to Sundays now, Sloan, with you.”
“It’s a great time out.” He wanted to talk more about precautions but saw Dev was pretty much overwhelmed at this point. As a ranger, she carried a pistol on her at all times. And Sloan was positive it was in her apartment. He wanted to speak to her about getting a concealed weapons permit so that she could keep it in her truck, or on herself, depending upon where she had to go. Sloan was positive that with what had happened to her already, and the possibility Gordon was here stalking her again, that law enforcement would allow her such a permit. She was well trained in the Marine Corps and knew how to handle any number of weapons besides just a pistol.
Those conversations could wait for a bit, but Sloan felt pushed to speak sooner, not later about them. And did he want Dev going into town by herself when she wasn’t working? Not really. Not right now. How would she feel about being constantly shadowed by him or other rangers who would have to be with her if she did tracking in the Tetons? Would Gordon go so far as to try to kidnap her out there in the forest? He was, after all, an ex-ranger. And he knew how to hunt and use weapons, as well. Worse, the man was mentally unstable and couldn’t be counted on to do the logical thing and stay away from Dev.
Fear ate at his heart. Sloan tried to ignore it, but he couldn’t. He pulled into the apartment complex and automatically looked for a silver Dodge Ram truck as he slowly drove through the area. Dev was alert, looking at people going in or coming out of the buildings with far more intensity than before. It was a helluva strain on her to have to live like that. Damn, but he wanted to protect her. He could keep her safer if she’d only think about moving in with him. Right now, Sloan knew the idea wouldn’t fly. But he sure as hell wanted it to for a basket of reasons, some unselfish and some completely selfish. Dev was a decent person caught in the snare of a man who not only hated her but wanted to destroy her.