for Kang,
born in Sonchon, North Korea
Better not to have been born
than to survive everyone you loved.
There’s no one left of those who lived here once,
no one to accuse you, no one to forgive you—
only beggar boys or black-market wives
haggling over croakers and cuttlefish,
hawking scrap-iron and copper-pipes stripped from factories
in the shadow of the statue of the Great Leader.
Only streets emptied of the villagers you knew,
only the sound of steps of those no longer living,
ghosts grown old, grim shadows of what they had once been:
some in handcuffs, some in hoods taken away at midnight,
some roped and dragged into Soviet Tsir trucks
driven to the labor camps that “don’t exist.”
__________
Every absence has a name, a face, a fate:
but who, besides you, remembers they were ever alive?
You don’t know why you were spared,
why you breathe walk drink eat laugh weep—
never speaking of those who had been killed,
as if they had never existed, as if the act of surviving them
had murdered them.
Forget, forget! But they want to be remembered.
Better people than you were shot:
do you think your life is enough for them?
For the silence
is never silent: it says We hate you
because you survived. No. We hate you
because you escaped.
from Ploughshares