33

SUMMER

Friday, March 4th (Present)

My whole body felt heavy, like I was made of concrete. A dull pain throbbed through my head. I tried to open my eyes, but they wouldn’t move; it was as if my eyelids had been glued together. What was going on? A dark fog spread across me, and I peacefully drifted back to sleep.

I woke in the dark again; my body still refused to move even an inch. Just open your eyes. Focus on opening your eyes! Voices of strangers surrounded me, and I slowly began to hear what they were saying.

“She’s strong. She’ll be fine.” Me? I didn’t feel strong.

“I thought we’d lost her.” Whose voice was that? My dad’s? Was that him? What happened? As things around me started making sense: the clean, clinical smell—no strong lemon—and the strange but familiar voices of my family. I was out of Clover’s prison and in a hospital. But how?

I blocked everything else out. I could work all that out later; now I needed to focus on waking up. My body didn’t want to respond to the demands I was making, but, finally, I managed to flutter my eyes open for barely a second. A brief ray of bright white light flashed in front of me before it went black again.

A sea of voices filled the room as everyone spoke at the same time. Did they see?

“Summer? Summer?”

Open your eyes, I screamed at myself and tried again, forcing my eyes to open. This time they didn’t close again, but I felt exhausted from the effort. I winced at the bright light. Everything looked blurry, but the room slowly came into focus.

“Summer? Sweetheart?” Mum’s voice sounded so strange. I had remembered her voice only well enough for me to vaguely recognize it. She sobbed, and I tried to smile to soothe her. Being free felt as dreamlike as when I had first entered the cellar. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”

I couldn’t talk—I didn’t have enough energy—so I nodded my head as best I could. “I’ll get a doctor,” Henry said. I couldn’t see him, but I had remembered my annoying brother’s voice perfectly. I smiled weakly.

“Oh, you’re okay.” Mum stroked my hair. I turned my head slightly so I was facing her a little better. She looked older, like she had aged eight years in almost eight months. Her hair was almost fully gray and she had deep, dark circles under her eyes. Was that my fault?

A stranger wearing a light blue nurse uniform looked over me and smiled as if I were her daughter. “Hello, Summer. My name’s Tara. How are you feeling?” I opened my mouth but only a groggy mutter came out. My throat was dry, like I’d swallowed sand. I shrugged. Tara smiled. “Are you in any pain?” I nodded. Everywhere but mostly my head. “Okay, I’ll get you something for that. There’s water on the side table.”

“I’ll do it,” Dad said. I smiled. Of course he would want to do something practical.

The nurse nodded. “I’ll go and get something for the pain and bring a doctor in to check her over.”

“Thank you,” Mum said, gripping my hand. “Summer? Honey…” She stopped talking and wiped the tears that flowed freely down her face. I blinked a couple times as my vision blurred. My head pounded and I just wanted to sleep.

Dad poured water in a cup and put a straw in it. What am I, three? I opened my mouth, grateful for the cool water. I’d almost drained the whole cup before my throat felt normal again.

“How are we doing?” another nurse asked as she walked into the room. She held a syringe in her hand—the pain medication. I sighed in relief. Give it! “Summer, I’m Brieanna. Don’t worry. I’m not going to ask you to do anything; you’ll receive the medication through the IV.” She stuck a needle into a tube and nothing happened. How long did this stuff take to work exactly? “Okay, the doctor will be with you shortly. Call if you need anything.” She left the room and we were alone again.

Clips of the events flittered through my mind, but I couldn’t piece them together properly. Where were Rose, Poppy, and Violet? “Wh-what…happened?” I asked.

Mum, Dad, and Henry moved closer, sitting on the edge of the bed. They loomed over me, and I squirmed uncomfortably. I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable with my family. “Do you remember anything, sweetheart?” Dad asked.

“Clover. He attacked Violet, attacked us. Where are they?”

“The other girls?” Mum asked. Her voice was soft, like she thought I was made from glass and would break at any loud noise. Dad and Henry stepped forward again.

My heart stopped. Where were they? “I need to see them. Can you find them?”

“Summer, calm down.”

“Where’s the nurse?” I pushed myself up and pain shot through my head. I groaned and flopped back down, wincing. “Find them, please,” I whispered, my eyes filling with tears.

“Honey, calm down,” Mum whispered. She exchanged a look with Dad, and I couldn’t tell what it meant. “Your dad will go and find out what happened to them.”

Someone knocked on the door and walked in. She wasn’t a nurse; she was wearing black trousers and a fitted black shirt, but she had a hospital ID hanging around her neck. “Hello, Summer. I’m Cecilia. How are you feeling?”

“Where are they?” I asked.

She smiled. She knew about them. Was she looking after them? “I’ve just been with Poppy, and she’s up and walking around. She’s with Violet. Violet’s in a critical but stable condition.”

I gulped. Critical. That was bad. Really, really bad. “Rose?” I whispered.

“Physically, she’s fine.”

My eyes welled up. Of course, she needed him. “I have to see them.”

“As soon as you’re feeling better, I’ll arrange that.”

“I feel fine. Please.”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry. Rest for a while, and then I’ll see if we can get you to Violet.”

She had only used my real name, not theirs. Had Poppy not told them who they really were? I almost wanted to be called Lily—to be the same as them again. For almost eight months they were all I knew, and being away from them made me feel vulnerable. Summer seemed like someone I was a lifetime ago. I didn’t want to keep his name, though. I didn’t want anything to do with him—just them.

“Is he in prison?”

Cecilia looked at my parents. “I’m afraid I don’t have that information, Summer. Perhaps you can talk to your parents.” She flipped over my chart and wrote something down. After checking me over she straightened up. “Right, I’ll be back to check on you again soon, and we’ll have an in-depth chat a little later, when you’re feeling better.” Definitely not a nurse.

“Are you hungry?” Mum asked as soon as Cecilia left the room.

“No. Where is he?”

“The police have him,” Dad replied. “You’re safe now, Summer. He won’t hurt you again.”

Every time someone called me Summer, I expected someone else to answer, expected them to be calling someone else. I didn’t feel like Summer. It was as weird as being called Lily in the beginning.

The door opened, and I jumped. Being outside, back in the real world, was strange. Scary almost. My family hadn’t left me alone, but I wanted them to. I didn’t want to be alone but I didn’t want to be with people that constantly stared at me and made me feel like I was a freak show.

“Summer,” Henry shouted, waving his hand in front of my face. “You okay? I’ve been calling you for the last couple minutes.”

I frowned. He was? “Um. Yeah?”

He smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. “Lewis is on his way.” Lewis. My heart leaped and stomach fluttered. He was coming here, now. “Err,” he said, frowning. “Do you want to see him?”

Do I? For the past seven and a half months, seeing him was the only thing I wanted to do; now it was possible I didn’t even know how I felt or what I wanted. Not if he was going to look at me like they all were. I didn’t want pity, especially not his. I wanted Rose, Poppy, and Violet. I wanted to feel safe. “Where are they?”

“Where are who?”

“Rose, Poppy, and Violet?”

“I don’t know, Sum. Lewis is on his way, though,” he repeated and looked at me as if I were crazy.

Mum sat down opposite Henry and grabbed my hand. I pulled away and played with my fingers. Her touch felt strange. “Honey?”

I chewed on my lip and tried to figure out what I wanted. Everything was so confusing and absolutely nothing made sense. My emotions were blank. “Can you all leave? Please.”

“What? What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Dad asked.

“Just go,” I whispered and covered my eyes with my hands. I wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep.

***

I was left alone for a grand total of twelve minutes. Henry still hadn’t come back in, but my parents sat on the chairs against the wall—about as much space as they were going to give me. They hadn’t said anything since they told me they weren’t going to leave me. It was almost as if they weren’t here. It wasn’t quite enough, though. I didn’t want them here. I felt guilty for being so confused whenever they looked at me with sadness and confusion in their eyes. At least Henry would make stupid small talk.

The door opened, and before I even looked up, I knew it was Lewis. Everything changed. The atmosphere spiked; my heart rate spiked. My parents both sat forward, and Henry marched in front of my bed and looked back to the door. What were they expecting? Did they think Lewis had the magic cure that would fix everything? I wished he did, but I wasn’t that naïve anymore.

He’s here. My breath caught in my throat and everything stopped. I felt nervous, confused, and scared—not excited. I felt like the air had been sucked from the room. I could hardly breathe.

Neither of us said a word, and I still hadn’t looked up. It became painful to be in the same room. His footsteps grew louder as he approached. I felt the bed dip and, out of the corner of my eye, saw his leg. I gulped and looked up. The first thing I saw was my family standing just inside the door. We weren’t getting privacy for this, then.

I turned my head, and he came into view. I stopped breathing altogether. I had remembered his face perfectly, down to the faint little scar just under his eyebrow.

“Summer,” he whispered. I closed my eyes. The way he said my name was how I had imagined it so many times when I was in the cellar, how I pictured him saying it, how his eyes shone when he said it. My name suddenly didn’t feel as strange anymore.

His beautiful green eyes pierced into mine, and I felt weightless. He still looked at me the same way. How? Did he really wait for me? I wanted to believe it so badly, but seven and a half months was a long time. How long ago did he think I was dead? Had he started to move on? He was still searching for me, but did that mean he wanted me?

I had so many questions, and I didn’t feel that I could ask him any of them. He opened and closed his mouth a few times. I guess he couldn’t find the words either. He was just as lost. I always thought our reunion would be romantic—rescued girl jumps into guy’s arms and they kiss.

“Lily?” I leaped forward at the sound of Poppy’s voice. She looked around nervously, avoiding eye contact with everyone. I threw the thin blanket off my legs and got out of bed. My head swam as I stood up, and I stumbled trying to walk.

Lewis gasped. “Summer!” My mum started fussing, and I was ordered to get back to bed. I ignored my family’s demands and rushed into Poppy’s open arms. She started crying. I wanted to go home. Not to the cellar, but somewhere with Rose, Poppy, and Violet. I didn’t feel safe without them.

“Are you okay?” I asked, looking her up and down frantically. He’d stabbed her!

She nodded. “Fine. It wasn’t deep. Violet…” She let out a big sob. What?

“What about her? You’ve been with her. They told me you were with her. Is she okay?” Poppy sobbed harder on my shoulder and shook her head. No. “But…she can’t be…” Violet’s dead. Clover had killed her.

I collapsed against Poppy. My body started to shake. It hurt so much. After all of that, Violet died anyway. I burst into tears. Why couldn’t it just all be over? “Rose, where’s Rose?” I sobbed, my chest heaving. She would need us too.

“She’s in the hospital, but they won’t let me see her.”

Pulling back, I wiped my tears, but it was useless; fresh ones replaced them straight away. “I want to see her. We need to find someone.”

“Summer, stop!” Henry grabbed my arm. I pulled my wrist from his grip and stepped back. “You need to get into bed.”

I turned away from him. My own brother felt like a stranger to me. “Do you know where she is?” I asked Poppy.

She shook her head. “No, I’ve asked a million times, but no one will tell me anything.”

The door opened yet again and Cecilia walked in. “Poppy, you can’t be in here.” She shook her head. “And you need to be in bed, Summer.”

“Lily,” I corrected and froze. Lily? I recoiled, shocked at myself. What? No. Turning in a daze, I climbed back in bed. Why did I say that? “Can you just please find out how Rose is?” My eyes welled up with tears again. “Please?”

Cecilia nodded. “I’ll do my best. Back to your room now, Poppy. You can visit later, I promise.”

Why weren’t they calling Poppy, Becca? Had no one come to see her to tell the doctors the truth? My heart sunk. I was so sure her family would come forward. Poppy left without a fight, and I was alone again. Well, not really alone.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lewis staring at me as if I had gone crazy. I probably actually had, but I couldn’t tell anymore. Did I want to talk to him? I did, but I didn’t know how. What could I possibly say to him? Things must have changed for him now—it had been seven and a half months! We’d never technically broken up, so I wasn’t sure what we were. What did I want? Together. I definitely wanted to be together, but I didn’t know how to be anymore. I wasn’t the same Summer he fell in love with. I had nothing to offer him.

My eyes stung. He’s here with me. I wanted to rush to him but I was scared. “Can you give us a minute, please?” I asked, staring down at the bed. They would know I meant leave me with Lewis. My family left the room, and he sat on the edge of the bed, facing me. We had reached a point where I had to look at him. There were no distractions I could use anymore. This is Lewis. Why am I so scared?

“Sum,” he whispered. My name didn’t seem so wrong when he said it. It had meaning, and I remembered all the times he had called me before. “Look at me, baby.”

The air left my lungs. Baby. I couldn’t find my breath. Gulping, I looked up. He stared at me with love and relief in his eyes. I saw my future there again. That hadn’t changed. My heart fluttered, and I felt alive again.

The atmosphere changed again—charged with such a high sense of relief and longing. I had missed him so much. There wasn’t one day that I hadn’t thought about him. I had heard that true love is realized after a couple has experienced and overcome something huge. Was this it? I still loved Lewis so much, and it looked like he felt the same way. I wasn’t naïve enough to think I would leave this hospital with him and live happily ever after—after all, perfect endings were for fairy tales—but I had more hope for things working out.

Lewis’s lips slowly turned up into the most beautiful smile I had seen in a long time. “Hi, you,” he whispered.

I grinned, mirroring him. “Hi.” This was a little weird. We had never been weird before. Because I knew him before we got together, we had always been comfortable around each other.

We lapsed into silence again. I played with the soft material of the hospital gown I was wearing. Please say something better than hi! Would it be like this for a while? Maybe we had to get to know each other again. I knew I wasn’t the same person, and I didn’t know if I ever would be again.

“How are you?” He frowned at himself and shook his head as if he was telling himself off. Yes, Lewis, stupid question.

“I’m fine.” He raised an eyebrow. “What do you really want to ask me?”

He bit his lip and sighed. “Sum, I have a million questions, and there’s so much I want to say, but I can’t find the words.” He shuffled forward and my heart leaped. What’s he doing? “Right now, I just want to hold you. I’ve missed you so much.”

I moved so I was sitting forward, giving him permission. His arms shot around me and pulled me against his chest. His hand gripped my hair so desperately it filled my eyes with fresh tears. I buried my head in his chest and let go, bursting into tears. All of the horror, heartache, and fear over the last eight months poured out, and I sobbed until my throat was raw.

Lewis held me, kissing the side of my neck occasionally. “It’s okay, baby. You’re safe now. I love you so much.” He must have been uncomfortable in his odd bent-over position, but he didn’t move an inch. I felt his body shake, and I knew he was crying too. Lewis didn’t cry. I had never seen him cry. It broke my heart.

I wanted to comfort him and beg him to stop crying, but I couldn’t stop myself. My sense of relief was so huge—I was completely overwhelmed. He was really here and this wasn’t a dream. I wasn’t sure how long we held each other, but it felt like hours. His scent surrounded me and I was home.

When he finally released me, I collapsed back on the bed, exhausted. I hadn’t even done anything, but I was so tired. “Sorry, you need to rest,” he said, pulling the blanket up over me. He looked at me, taking in every inch of my face. I bet I looked a terrible, with cuts and bruises all over me. I dropped my eyes to the blanket, seeing him look at me like that was too intense. I felt too vulnerable. Lewis could see through me better than anyone else—probably because I told him everything. There was no bullshitting him.

I bit my lip and played with my fingers. “Are you leaving?”

He shook his head. “I’m not going anywhere. Ever again, actually.”

I smirked, closed my eyes. “Stalker.” His quiet chuckle filled the room and he took my hand, pressing his lips to my knuckles. I smiled as I fell asleep.