I spend the night at Sean’s, and in the morning, he drives me back to my place.
“Want to come up?” I ask him.
“Another time,” he says.
I frown a little bit. “Sure.”
“Seriously, another time. I need to get to the facility soon or else Wood’ll give me shit.”
“Okay.”
He leans across the car and kisses me. “See you later.”
“Bye.”
I practically float up to my apartment. I refuse to inspect what’s happening, not right now, at least.
I shower, get changed, and call an Uber. It gets me into the office where I left my car last night.
I head up to my desk. I make a cup of coffee in the break room. I say hello to my coworkers, I smile like I belong, but deep down inside, I know something is off.
I started feeling it last night, after the first time we fucked. When I thought about my job, it just seemed…
Useless. Unnecessary.
I don’t even know why. But the idea of not seeing Sean because of this job just felt stupid. And the idea of using him for a story just to keep this job felt even dumber.
The whole thing is a trap. I think my boss knows it as much as I do. I think he’s just trying to get rid of me.
Or maybe that’s paranoid. I don’t know. I guess I don’t care.
It doesn’t take long before Soren calls me into his office, though.
He smiles at me over a mug of coffee.
“Have you thought about our chat?” he asks.
I nod. “I have.”
“Good. And what do you say? Five hundred words, due tomorrow?”
“No.”
He blinks. “Excuse me?”
“No,” I say again. “I know it’s my job to write whatever you assign me, but… no.”
He takes a long breath and lets it out. He puts down his coffee, takes off his glasses, and rubs his temples.
“Listen, Brynn,” he says finally. “Let’s level with each other, shall we?”
“Okay,” I say.
“Look at this from my perspective. Your articles about Sean were very, very popular. People want more of them, and it’s my job to give them what they want. It’s my job to sell papers. You get that, right?”
“Right,” I say, nodding.
“So I need you to write more articles. That quarterback is popular, and you have insight into him. People want that right now.”
“I hear you,” I say.
“Good. I honestly don’t understand why you’re resisting this so much.”
I cock my head, and suddenly, I just don’t care anymore.
“Wood banned me from writing about Sean.”
Soren looks surprised. “Coach Wood did?”
I nod. “He banned me. Said I was getting in the way of Sean playing well. Said I was distracting him.”
Soren grunts, clearly surprised. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me before?”
I shrug. “You made it clear that not writing about Sean was not an option. And you pissed me off.”
He laughs softly. “Okay, fair enough.”
“Wood won’t give me access if I write another word about Sean. He’ll revoke my press pass.”
Soren hesitates. “Would that matter?”
I sit there for a second, surprised by the question. “I think so,” I say, but I’m suddenly not so sure.
“If it’s only Sean you need, why does it matter if you can’t get into practices?” Soren asks me. “Just call him up, see him outside of the facility.”
“You don’t care if I get banned?”
He laughs. “Of course not. Who the fuck cares, so long as you keep giving me what I want?”
I can’t believe I’m hearing this. It’s like all the worry I’ve been feeling was for nothing. If I had just come clean with Soren from the start, I could’ve avoided so much anguish and uncertainty.
And yet now, I just don’t care.
That’s the funny thing about all this. I started out hating Sean, hating him for his petty rumor. But I didn’t really hate him, so much as I hated all the asshole guys surrounding me.
Soren was one of those guys. He still is, really. He doesn’t care about me. He’s just using me to write him some articles that’ll sell a few more papers. He doesn’t care what I think, what I feel.
If I told him that I was fucking Sean, he’d probably shrug and tell me to write a thousand words about the guy’s dick.
It’s suddenly strikingly, absurdly, crystal clear for me.
“I’m not going to write about Sean,” I say finally.
Soren shakes his head, exasperated. “I don’t get it,” he says.
“I don’t care if you don’t get it. I’m just not going to. So either fire me or let me write about something else.”
He stares at me, not speaking. I can tell he’s thinking, trying to decide what to do with me. I’m insubordinate, and if he lets me get away with this, who knows what I’ll try and get away with.
I’m not important. I’m just another girl, just another random reporter. And yet, I did write those good articles.
Finally, he shrugs. “Fine. Have it your way.” He picks up his glasses and puts them on. “You’re fired.”
I nod. I expected those words to hurt. I expected them to rip me apart.
Instead, I just stand. “Okay.”
I turn to leave his office.
But there’s a commotion outside. I cock my head as a few people stand up. I notice someone has his phone out, taking video.
“What’s that?” Soren asks, coming up behind me.
We open his door and step outside. There’s a group of people surrounding someone tall, handsome, muscular.
I step in their direction. It takes me a second to realize who they’re all flocking to.
It’s Sean. It’s really him, in the flesh, wearing the same thing he was wearing the last time I saw him, maybe an hour ago.
“Speak of the devil,” Soren says to me softly. “What is this?”
“I don’t know,” I admit.
He grunts and walks over to the group of men. I hang back. I can’t hear what Soren says to Sean, but they shake hands and Soren looks in my direction.
I bite my lip. Everyone’s looking at me now. Sean walks in my direction, a smile on his lips.
“Soren here was just telling me that you two had reached an agreement,” he says.
I raise an eyebrow. “Did he?”
Sean nods. “You got fired, huh?” He asks it softly so the others can’t hear.
I shrug. “Bound to happen eventually, I guess.”
“Lucky you, then,” he whispers again, and clears his throat. “So, Soren. Can we use a conference room?”
“Right, sure,” Soren says. “Come on, lead the way.”
I hesitate. Sean looks at me. “Well, what are you waiting for? It’s time for the interview.”
Soren gives me a look I can’t read. I think it’s half anger, half pleading.
I don’t want to move, but Sean’s here, he’s really here.
And so I follow him, because of course I do. I’ll do anything he says.
We find a conference room. Soren leaves us alone, and Sean smiles at me.
“Go ahead,” he says. “Ask me absolutely anything.”