“You must have control of the authorship of your own identity. The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand.”
Your life story is unlike any other, and it can be told in many ways. We’ve mentioned the oral tradition where grandparents talked of the “good old days” and the “old ways.” The children and grandchildren remembered and would later share these life stories with their own offspring. “Grandma was the first in her family to get a college degree.” “Grandpa was a Marine.” The oral tradition remains an honored part of our heritage and helps connect generations.
There are other ways to remember and record the life you have lived. These methods are important for you to understand since they can serve as reference points in your own learning. Keep in mind that your life stories need not be boxed into any one category.
Autobiography traditionally was the time-honored domain of retired politicians, CEOs, and military leaders. No doubt when you think of autobiographies you imagine tome-length rags-to-riches stories featuring a blend of heroic deeds, controversy, jet-set scandal, and sober reflection. The autobiography was often a linear recording of a life—from birth to old age—with the added depth of time and perspective. It was meant to become part of the historical record. Today the word autobiography has become a generic catchall for writing one’s life story. Examples of well-known autobiographies include My Life by Bill Clinton; Love, Lucy by Lucille Ball; and An Autobiography: The Story of My Experiments with Truth by Mahatma Gandhi. Many celebrity autobiographies are written by hired professionals. Often these ghostwriters will have their names attached to the story, sometimes in small print on the cover, or they may be acknowledged in the book. Occasionally there is no hint that anyone other than the celebrity was involved, even if a ghostwriter was paid to do the work.
Whereas an autobiography is written by a person who tells his or her own story, a biography is a life story written by someone other than the person whose life is being examined. (An example is Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson.) It is a common perception that a biography will be more objective than an autobiography.
“I’m writing my memoir.” “I’m taking a class in memoir writing.” These ubiquitous kitchen table comments are frequently heard in coffee shops and read on social media. Baby boomers command the marketplace, and they have reached the age where they want to get their life stories down on paper because they have something to say and want others to know. Specifically a memoir takes a central theme and amplifies it into a life story. That theme may be about how poor choices in adolescence have led to tragedy and then resolution. Or perhaps it reveals how drug abuse results in jail time, rehab, and finally a clean life. Or it may tackle a theme of a single mother raising a child. Everything in the story relates to the topic you’ve chosen.
The memoir can be subdivided into the following more specific categories.
The precarious high-wire act of adolescence is often performed without a safety net. Many of us have fallen during this time in our lives and thus find common cause in this emotional turmoil. A typical coming-of-age memoir illuminates this often angst-driven journey from childhood to adulthood. Popular examples include Child Star by Shirley Temple Black, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou, and Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt.
The confessional memoirist seeks to reclaim a part of his or her life, one lost through painful experiences and poor choices. Time passes, and from the perspective of distance, the author reaches backwards, trying to make sense of what went wrong, and why. Confessing misdeeds can be cathartic. Often, a reputation needs to be restored, and a tell-all is the first step to redemption. Typical confessional memoirs include The Confessions of Rick James: Memoirs of a Super Freak by Rick James, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind: An Unauthorized Autobiography by Chuck Barris, and The Confessions of St. Augustine, known as the very first published life story, written between 397–400 A.D.
What is it like to be famous? For many of us, it means living vicariously through the eyes and ears of others. How do people cope with being forever in the public eye? Do they think differently? What’s an ordinary day like for them? Does it resemble ours? Do they have a magic aura about them? Do they possess a secret to their success and good fortune? Is it all too good to be true? Will they (or have they) come crashing down into mundane reality? Popular celebrity memoirs include Boy Wonder: My Life in Tights by Burt Ward; I, Rhoda by Valerie Harper; and Stories I Only Tell My Friends by Rob Lowe.
These memoirs are about us. Personal memoirists may have only one claim to fame—that they are survivors. They have lived their lives as well as possible and have managed to face the challenges along the way. In particular they have dealt with recurring hurdles: disease, poverty, child abuse, alcoholism, or drug addiction. This is the story of how they have coped.
Arguably, all life writing is spiritual. Our words are given reverence as we ponder our fate and try to understand the world in which we live. We long to know our connection to the universe. A spiritual memoir focuses on our transformation as we search for meaning. As such, it can be the most personal of all memoirs. St. Augustine’s Confessions, written in the fourth century A.D., is considered the first spiritual memoir. Other spiritual memoirs of significance include The Seven Storey Mountain by Thomas Merton and The Spiral Staircase: My Climb Out of Darkness by Karen Armstrong.
The travel memoir is self-discovery through journey. It can depict a war veteran who returns to the battlefields of long ago seeking answers and is finally able to forgive himself. It can follow the journey of the restless wanderer savoring the sights, sounds, and tastes of new horizons. Ultimately it is about a central conflict that must be resolved. Often the narrative includes fellow travelers who may have different agendas or different travel perspectives. The common thread in a travel memoir is movement. As the river flows, so, too, does life, forging ahead into the unknown. Popular travel memoirs include Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes and Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.
A life review is a therapeutic process developed by gerontologist Dr. Robert Butler, a geriatric psychiatrist, as a means to help older adults deal with unresolved issues before death. It is about understanding and reconciling one’s life. Life review looks back chronologically on a person’s life and its significant moments with an aim to gain insights and honor wisdom. Structured prompts and questions include: Tell me when and where you were born. What kind of education did you have? Tell me about your marriage, first job, and when you first left home. Tell me about your career. What have been the successes in your life? The questions are sequential, from childhood to the present.
Some life stories do not happen exactly as told. In creative nonfiction, real-life people are sometimes molded into composite characters; specific traits of one character are combined with those of another. The intent is to stay true to a story through simplification. Events may be compressed for better narrative flow, or dialogue between characters may be fictionalized to better capture a true experience. On occasion, often at the beginning of a book, a disclaimer is printed suggesting these alterations. An example is The Lost Girls by Jennifer Baggett.
Guided autobiography is based on a small-group process that guides people as they write their life stories. With its emphasis on creating a guided journey through major life themes, it is the Cadillac of life story writing classes. Guided autobiography has a bedrock foundation of theory, practice, and testing. It is a method that has evolved over the past forty years, bringing it to the forefront of current research and life story writing. Writing Your Legacy uses this thematic approach for creating the best life story possible. It serves as a powerful hybrid that measures the ways we have lived our lives and shows us how we can best tell our stories.
This chapter covers the different ways you can write and share your life story. You may choose to write an autobiography or a memoir, conduct a life review, or perhaps compile a collection of creative nonfiction essays. Each structure and approach has its benefits. To identify which method works best for you, consider the following questions.