It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.
—PICASSO
Here we begin our exploration of love by teaching you how to impress potential mates.
If you’ve been courting a person for a while, but they still don’t seem to be getting the message that you’re ready to get down, try sending a signal through the art of crudités.
Now, you might be wondering, what exactly are crudités? Well, it’s the most boring appetizer known to man. It’s basically just thinly sliced raw vegetables. SNOOZE ALERT.
But what if you made them sexy as shit?
Cocktail
Whatever their favorite is. Because remember, this is about seduction.
Ingredients
Go to your local farmers’ market and handpick the freshest organic ingredients JKJKJKJKJK. You’re going to be using this food for what purpose? Making provocative images on plates? Puhleeze. Just grab yourself something from the corner store and get to work. There is art to be made! Here are some of my personal recommendations:
* carrots
* celery
* berries
* citrus fruits
* apples
* fuck it, anything really, this is your palette
WHAT DO YOU CALL a CUP OF EARL GREY THAT’S BEING SEXY?
A TEASE!
Instructions
Now you’re ready to get it, girl (grrl?) (TIGER STYLE).
Or maybe they are just hungry and you should take them out to dinner?
They do work full-time and you’re one of those creative stay-at-home types who thinks that building IKEA furniture all by yourself qualifies as a day well spent.
