Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.
—LEMONY SNICKET
Similar to siblings, French fries all stem from the same family, the potato family. Yet each and every one is different. A different shape, a different flavor, a different purpose, etc. Now, despite these differences, each French fry in the batch will share a similar origin story. However, the outcome will be unique. The point is to have patience with your sibling French fry and realize that life imprints differently on each and every one of us. Some of us will be salty, some of us will be peppered, but in the end we are all just trying to catch up.
French fries are irrefutably one of the most important drunk foods. A French fry is a perfect starchy slice of love and joy, dancing delicately from the plate before you to its permanent home in your mouth cave and then finally to the resting place of your tum-tum.
Commonly, people in Western civilizations like to consume French fries prior to a night of exploits and debauchery. “A good lining for the stomach!” some might say. “Yum! French fries!” others might say. However, I might say: “But what if we mixed a bunch together and refried them on a skillet?”
Cocktail
Vodka and soda. Simple and clean, nice and lean, ready to clean . . . up your spleen.
WHAT DID THE SAUTÉED VEGGIES SAY TO THE FRYING PAN?
YOU’VE GOT SKILL-ETS.
Ingredients
* French fries
* waffle fries
* sweet potato fries
* garlic fries
* curly fries
Instructions
Oh, I think the instructions are pretty clear. Put these motherfuckers on a frying pan and let them duke it out with each other for the undivided attention of your taste buds.
(GET IT—KETCHUP???)
