Guys. Cantaloupes can contain salmonella. Best to avoid them at all costs. Let’s just move on.
(This page does not include photography out of respect for your taste buds.)
Sometimes reading Scientific American can leave you scarred for life.
IMPORTANT KITCHEN TERMS
OW! — Slow down and pay more attention.
Oh . . . no . . . — Call emergency services.
Shit. — Seriously. Call someone for help.
Shit! — You missed a step in the directions . . . but no big deal.
It’ll be fiiiine — It won’t be fine.