Amelia Bedelia’s father came home from work in a great mood. He kissed his wife. He scratched Amelia Bedelia’s dog, Finally, in her favorite spot (right behind the ears). Amelia Bedelia was lying on the rug next to Finally, doing her homework. Amelia Bedelia’s father knelt down next to her, but he didn’t kiss her on the head as usual. He started tickling her.

“Ha-ha-ha-ha!” she squealed.

He tickled Amelia Bedelia’s most ticklish spot, right under her arms.

“Stop it!” she shrieked, laughing louder.

But he kept right on tickling,

“Mom! Help!” yelled Amelia Bedelia.

Her mother ran to her rescue. Amelia Bedelia’s mom began tickling her dad at his most ticklish spot, right under his chin.

He laughed and hollered, “Family tickle contest!” With one hand still tickling Amelia Bedelia, he tickled his wife right behind her knee, which was her worst tickle spot. She began laughing uncontrollably. “Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha . . .”

They all collapsed in a heap on the living room floor, laughing and giggling and gasping for breath. Finally raced around them, barking and wagging her tail.

Amelia Bedelia’s dad stood up and helped her mom to her feet.

“Well, honey,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “Thanks for the comic relief. That was a fun homecoming.”

“Guess what, guys?” he said. “My boss gave me a bonus week of vacation for doing a good job at work.”

“Wow!” said Amelia Bedelia. “Yay, Dad!”

“Congratulations,” said her mom. “You certainly earned it. What would you like to do?”

“Well, I was thinking . . . ,” said her dad. “How about we all go off to roam?”

“Yippee!” shouted Amelia Bedelia. “We’re going to Rome!”

Amelia Bedelia jumped up from the floor and kept jumping up and down, clapping her hands. She had paid enough attention in geography class to know that Rome was the biggest city in Italy, which was a country shaped like a boot. In Italy, everyone ate her favorite foods, like pasta and pizza and pastries, every single day.

Amelia Bedelia hugged her dad. Then she grabbed her mom’s hands and began dancing around the room with her.

Finally barked and barked.

“Golly,” said her dad. “I didn’t think you would get that excited. Haven’t you ever been roamin’?”

“How could I be Roman?” asked Amelia Bedelia. “I was born in the United States of America.”

Amelia Bedelia’s mother stopped dancing but held on to Amelia Bedelia’s hands. “Sweetheart,” she said, “where do you think we’re going?” She had a funny look on her face.

“To Rome, in Italy,” said Amelia Bedelia.

“Italy?” said her dad. “We aren’t going to Rome, Italy. We’re going to roam . . . around.”

“Around?” asked Amelia Bedelia. “Where’s around? Around where?”

“Around here,” said her dad. “Close to home. For now, we’ll have to give Italy the boot.” Her dad chuckled as her mother groaned.

Amelia Bedelia was disappointed and her dad’s lame joke made her feel worse. She felt like giving him the boot.

“Sorry to let you down, sweetie,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mom. “If we were going to Rome in Italy, I’d be really excited, too.”

“But, Mom,” said Amelia Bedelia, “what’s Dad even talking about?”

“Don’t worry,” said her mom. “I’m sure we’ll have fun.”

Amelia Bedelia’s mom made an Italian dinner to cure their disappointment. They had spaghetti and meatballs and crusty bread.

They had salad with Italian dressing.

“We’ll eat our salads last,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mom. “Because that’s how they do it in Rome.”

“Well,” said her dad. “When going to roam, do as the Romans do.”

“Honey,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mom, “if you make one more bad joke, you’ll roam alone.”

After the dishes were done, Amelia Bedelia’s father unfolded a road map and spread it out on the dining-room table. He pointed to a spot on the map and said, “We are here.”

“I don’t see us,” said Amelia Bedelia.

“Our house is way too small to show up on this map,” said her dad. “This little area is our town. See, right here is Main Street. This tiny green square is the park in front of City Hall.”

Looking at the map made Amelia Bedelia feel dizzy. She felt like a bird, flying higher than any other bird, looking down on everyone and everything.

“I thought it might be fun to just drive around our own state,” said her dad. “There are fun places to go and fun things to do right here.”

“This will be great!” said her mother. “There’s a lot to see in our own backyard.”

“What!” said Amelia Bedelia. “First we’re not going to Italy, and now we’re not even leaving the backyard? What kind of dorky vacation is that?”

Her parents explained that backyard could mean nearby. They would be traveling hundreds of miles, maybe a thousand miles, before they returned home. That made Amelia Bedelia feel better—and worse.

At bedtime, Amelia Bedelia turned off her light, but she couldn’t fall asleep. She was excited about their road trip, and nervous too. She’d never spent a week away from home before, plus she’d miss Finally. She wondered what would happen to them while they were away. What would happen at home that they would miss?

That night, she dreamed all kinds of crazy dreams. When she got up the next morning, she was super tired. Amelia Bedelia felt like she needed a vacation!