This book is dedicated to my darling mum, Jan. I miss you so much every day and although this story is fiction, there are moments that are truly a heartfelt love letter from me to you. The bittersweet feeling remains that if you were here, this story would never have happened, but I endeavour to make you proud; when life gave me lemons, I wrote a book!
There are so many fabulous women paid tribute to in this story – some are no longer with us, but are instead at the endless cocktail party in the sky with my fabulous Mumma Jan: my grandmother Margaret Kinloch Lloyd and my mother’s dear friend, Lindsay Barnwell.
Thank you to my dad, Martin, for believing in me from the year dot in whatever I turned my hand to. How I wish Mum was here to share this with us.
The people of Greece, forgive me for playing around with the geography of your towns and villages surrounding Messenia. Your beautiful country endlessly inspires me, and I am grateful to the many friends we have made there over the years. The insanely talented home cooks and chefs that I bother for your Greek recipes, thank you.
Kate Burke, my agent and spirit animal, thank you for being such a champion of my writing and for having identical weird taste in films and reality television. I’m so grateful to have someone to share quotes of Grease 2 with. Thank you to everyone at Blake Friedmann for the warmest welcome into the literary world.
Lucy Frederick, my powerhouse editor, and all the spectacular team at Avon, HarperCollins. Thank you for your heartfelt enthusiasm and for making me cry on so many occasions with your love for this story. You made a dream come true and I cannot thank you all enough for giving my debut novel such a wonderful home.
To my friends who shared their experience of baby loss, fertility struggles and your little ones who were given their angel wings too soon; those who offered up their stories of toxic relationships, I am thankful to you all for your precious stories.
So many people are part of this journey giving support, friendship and endless love. Lee and my Sophie, that very silly supper in Charlestown planted the seed of this story with my mother’s wardrobe … Attie and Abe, we will tell you one day what else we discussed at that dinner!
Alexandra, thank you and Nick and all the Burnells for inviting us to your Greek world over a decade ago. It was love at first sight and we made so many magical memories there together and will continue to make more. Princess Bee, Brittany, Benny Bear and Leonidas, Jossy and Lucy.
Adriana Trigiani, I fell in love with your writing so many years ago and then we became friends. I wouldn’t be without you in my life, not just because you make the best shrimp sauce, but for your generosity and unswerving support. I love you!
Santa Montefiore, an interview at the BBC and a chance meeting in a loo in Mauritius led to years of friendship and a shared love of psychic, spooky doings. Thank you for having the most giving spirit, and for your never-ending encouragement, I am so, so grateful.
My family and friends: David, Darcy, Dylan and Jennifer; Luke, Claudia, Lucas Antonio and Amelia Arabella; Nicholas, Katie, Georgia Dor Dor and Harrison; Julie Cowell, we miss you so dearly; Simon, Lauren and Eric; Emma Barton, goodnight! Erika and Eddie Farwell; Liz Kessler and Laura Tonge; Abi and Will Wason; Claire and Tony Hawke; Sarah and Dick Stephens (thanks for the postman clouds!) and Nancy Noodle; Dishcloth/Ethelcloth, my darling Neil from Wigan and Ridges; Barbara ‘Baba’ Hutton; the Webbers; the Barnwells, Emily Ball; Jane and Len, the Bennetts, Challiss, Fairbanks and Gunns; the Baileys; the Cowells; Graham Rebak and my Disney Prince Adam Wilkie; Tiffany, Paddy and my beloved love bug Godchildren, Tristan and Patrick; Matt Cardle and Bambi; Marie and John MacNeill; Lewis Coles; Nicky Johnston; Kay and Alan Moss, Jamie Mossy Moss; Peter and Emily Andre; Hot Toddy and Grandpa Rogers; Louis Walsh; Mike Dalton, Patch, Kasia and Indy Elenora; Jackie Hatton, how we miss you; Papoushka Cowell, my sweet faced fur baby; the team at Little Harbour children’s hospice; Jeffrey Archer, thank you for the mid-edit crisis pep talk; the amazing gang at Together for Short Lives for the incredible work they do fighting the fight to talk about baby loss and childhood death, and supporting so many families with life limited children going through the very worst; the fisherman of Cadgwith Cove, I wish you tight lines and the fairest of winds.
To you reading this, thank you for picking up my novel and I hope you enjoyed it.
Finally, my Tony. There aren’t enough words to say thank you for being my absolute rock throughout the years and for encouraging me to write. This wouldn’t have been possible without your guidance, expert eye and tolerance of my despair and elation in the rollercoaster journey that was this lockdown project. I perhaps should’ve stuck to making sourdough like the rest of the country, but I am so glad I didn’t. You are so incredible, you have no idea just how fabulous you are. Your faith and belief in me gave me the courage to step into this new world. I love you so much TC and couldn’t have done it without you.