“She's not like any preemie I've ever seen,” Melissa said as she gently laid the swaddled baby in Ryder's arms.
“She's strong. Her vitals are off the chart,” Maggie added.
Ryder glanced at them. “What about the contamination?”
“We'll run the tests immediately. But don't worry about that for now. Just enjoy the moment,” Melissa said as he cradled his baby in his arms.
Ryder nodded and peered down at his child. His baby. A precious gift he had never thought he would be lucky enough to have in his life. She shifted in her swaddling, as if complaining. So like her mother already.
She opened her eyes and gazed at him. They were a deep hazel, the irises flecked with bits of her mother's unusual green-gold color. Not quite as exotically shaped, but unique. Inquisitive. She continued staring up at him. Then she squirmed again, scrunched up her little mouth, and mewled in complaint.
“I think she's hungry, Dad. You'd better take her to Mom, and we'll leave to give you some privacy,” Maggie said.
He walked carefully over to Diana, fearful of damaging his delicate bundle. As his gaze locked with his wife's, his heart hammered in his chest at the love and beauty glowing in her eyes.
Against the fresh pillows and sheets, she looked so lovely in pajamas the hue of Georgia peaches. They added some color to her pale cheeks, and the joyous gleam in her eyes erased the blue-black shadows of fatigue beneath them.
He bent and carefully handed her the baby, who immediately stopped fidgeting and rooted against Diana's silk-clad breast. Diana parted the fabric, exposing her breasts, and the baby greedily latched on.
Ryder brushed the knuckle of his index finger across the baby's cheek. “So soft,” he said, wonder still alive at the miracle with which he had been blessed.
“So little. She scares me, she's so little,” Diana said, gazing down at the baby as she fed, then looked up at him.
“You’ll do fine. I’m so proud of you.” He bent to take her lips in a kiss that left no doubt about the truth of his words. As he deepened the kiss, the baby let out a cat-like complaint at being caught between them.
He shifted back and chuckled, tenderly running his hand along the fuzzy dark hair on Charlie’s head. She opened one eye in an accusatory look and that pulled an even bigger laugh from him. “She’s going to be a handful, I suspect,” he said with an indulgent and very paternal smile.
Diana arched a wry brow. “Are you saying the apple didn’t fall far from the tree?”
He shrugged, leaned close, and whispered against her lips, “Maybe.” Before she could say anything, he covered her mouth with his, and once again reminded her of all they had together.
But that also brought some fear in the midst of all the joy.
As the baby’s suckling weakened as she drifted off to sleep, Ryder eased the baby from her arms. “I’ll put her down. You should get some sleep, too.”
Sleep was the last thing on her mind, despite the drain on her body from the birth and the turning. Too many questions bouncing around in her head. She looked down at the bed covers and plucked at them in a nervous way unlike her usual confident self.
Ryder tucked a finger beneath her chin and gently urged her head up. “You’re worried about something.”
She bit her lip. “Diego said it wasn’t possible that I was back to being human so quickly. That learning to control the transformation takes days.”
Ryder nodded. He remembered his own change and how long he had suffered with an almost unbearable fever and a mindless hunger for blood. Knowing what his other friends had also experienced, he had no real answer.
“Things were different during your change. You were more prepared. And you fed from an elder and a Slayer. That’s a powerful combination,” he said, covering her hands with his to stop her nervous picking at the sheets. “Plus, I know how strong you are in here,” he said, tapping a spot above his heart.
“What if I told you I feel weird inside? Hungry.” She rubbed a hand across her midsection.
“It’s phantom hunger, like a lost limb. Real food won’t satisfy that hunger anymore. But we both know what will.” He wasn’t sure he could control his passion again if she fed from him. Hell, he was having a difficult time holding back now.
“You should feed again. It’ll help keep the vampire in check. But afterward, I need to...”
“I understand, Ryder. I also want to, you know...” she said, smiling uncertainly.
Ryder had to laugh at their discomfort. “You know we're married, right? We’ve just had a baby. Somehow, it should be easier to talk about sex.”
“Sex, sex, sex,” she said, laughter in her tones. She reached out and twined her fingers with his. “I figure if I say it enough, we can deal with it.”
“Yeah, we can,” he said, although he wasn't sure that she could possibly be prepared for the kind of passion that came from vamp-to-vamp feeding. “But tomorrow. Or the next day. Let's get some rest now, before Charlotte wakes up.”
He lay down beside her, fully dressed, the clothing like armor against what he really wanted. And so did she, judging by her knowing smile.
For the moment, that knowledge would have to be enough to keep him happy.
That and the fact that everyone was safe and healthy.
***
Michaela had fled into the night, moving at vamp speed until she hit the edges of Central Park where she stopped and bent over, as if she had jogged for miles. Taking one deep breath after another, she tried to marshal all that she was feeling, but failed miserably.
That was the problem with allowing herself emotions. And friends. And lovers. You felt too much, and cared too much. Had too much compassion. During her training, the Slayer Council had warned her about having too much humanity, too much sensitivity to the human condition. That it would be her downfall if she didn't learn how to control her emotions, and instead let logic guide her to do what was necessary.
She had major league fucked that up tonight.
She straightened and walked into the park, needing a good fight, or maybe even a kill, to bring her back to reality.
But once she was a few yards onto the path, she sensed a presence behind her. She turned and confronted yet another problem she had to handle.
“What do you want, Ben?” she asked, setting her hands on her hips and thrusting her shoulders back in a clear sign to back away.
“You looked like you could use a friend, Mikey,” he said, and smiled. It was a genuine smile that lit up his ruined features, drawing attention away from the scars marring one side of his face. Scars put there by his own brother when he had gone bat-shit psycho rogue. And all because his brother had let his emotions drive him crazy.
There was a lesson in there, she was sure.
“Actually, the last thing I need is another friend. Especially one like you,” she retorted before she turned and began walking away. But in a blast of speed he was at her side, strolling beside her. Anyone seeing them would think they were just friends, possibly lovers, on their way home.
And that was part of the problem. They had once been lovers. Jesus had noticed that and his testosterone had kicked in, sensing a threat. But what she’d had with Ben was long over...much as she suspected it was with Jesus.
She had fucked that up royally tonight as well.
They walked on in silence, Michaela lost in her thoughts, Ben occasionally throwing a considering look at her. But even he couldn't possibly imagine the tumult going on in her brain.
As they neared the center of the park, she stopped and faced him, eager to be alone. But as she examined his features, she sensed he needed just the opposite. Once again, her emotions got the better of her and she plopped down on a nearby bench to give him what he needed.
“Where have you been all these months, Ben?” Although he had been helping her and Jesus the last few days, they had never really stopped to talk about him. About what had happened the night he had died and was reborn.
“Healing,” he said, then quickly added, “Alone, for the most part. Diego helped me at first, but once I was turned, I had nowhere to go. I couldn't go back to the Council, but the vampires wouldn't accept me either.”
“You might be surprised about that,” she said, thinking of how Ryder and the others had gotten past her Slayer status to consider her a friend.
“Maybe. I can see they how they treat you. Respect you.”
“Fear me,” she said, well aware of how cautious they were around her. How distrustful.
Ben shook his head. “Not fear, Mikey. Respect. You might want to believe it’s fear because it makes the relationship easier, but in your heart you know the truth.”
With a harsh laugh, she scoffed, “My heart? It's being ripped into pieces by all that I'm feeling. By trying to decide what’s the right thing to do.”
“I understand,” he said.
And if anyone could, it was Ben. He had been a supremely confident Slayer, always victorious in his missions, always sure about the right and wrong of things. But no longer. She’d noticed that becoming a demon had, surprisingly, given him a measure of humanity that he had lost as a Slayer. So yeah, he could understand the conflict within her.
“She's alive, isn't she? Diana and her baby?” he asked, and Michaela nodded. She battled back the recollection of the joy the baby's wail had brought.
“So a turning saved two lives tonight, much as it saved my life months ago.”
She knew where he was going, but couldn't buy into it. She rose from the park bench and started walking again, no particular destination in mind as she said, “Are you saying the ends justify the means? That we should turn a blind eye to vampires creating even more demons?”
Ben kept pace with her, his gaze focused on the path ahead of them. “I'm saying that it's not as black and white as the Slayers taught us. The Council claims its mandate is to preserve humanity, but how is that possible when they've lost all sense of what being human means? When they've lost all compassion, and insight into the human condition?”
She thought of all the hard-asses like Evangeline and had no doubt he was right. Despite that, she wasn’t sure what she could do about it. As time passed, it seemed as if she didn’t belong in any of the worlds in New York City—Slayer, vamp, or human.
Which meant it was probably best to be moving on. But the thought of doing that was too painful because it meant leaving Jesus. Leaving the others.
Pushing that pain deep to that hidden place where she kept her other hurts, she said, “I’m not joining the Council. They’ll exile me. Maybe even put a death sentence out on me, but I can’t be a part of them the way they are.”
Ben stopped short and she did the same, facing him. “So what will you do?” he asked.
“Find Connall. End his vicious life.”
Leave and go lick my wounds somewhere far from New York City.
His brow furrowed, the scars on one temple puckering. “And?”
“And nothing. So will you help me finish this?”
He hesitated, then nodded. “I will.” Glancing at the sky, which was starting to brighten in the east, he said, “He’ll be going to roost soon in his lair. Maybe it’s time we settled down for some rest, too. My apartment is not far from here.”
He motioned to the West Side, with its pricey apartment buildings and condos. Certainly closer than Jesus’s Union Square address. But she didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. Pointing to him, then herself, she said, “You and me, it’s done, Ben. I’m not going back to that relationship.”
His half-smile was sad as his gaze settled on her, full of fondness. “As much as I’ve wished otherwise over the years, I knew that the moment I saw you and the cop together. This is just me being a friend, helping you out until you know what to do.”
She regarded him for a long moment. She wasn’t up to facing J tonight. That was one conversation she was not ready for.
“Fine, then,” she said and gestured for him to go. “Lead the way.”
***
Connall watched as his daughter moved away with the Slayer. Hard to believe the Council would have two bastard hybrids as members, but there was no denying the mixed blood in both, nor any question of their power. Too much power for him to consider taking her at the moment.
But she had led him to somewhere important to her. Or someone. He thought of the human who’d been with her on several occasions, including the luxurious condo building that they had visited. He’d had the look of a cop about him. But there was someone else who also mattered to her in that building, judging by the troubled expression she had left with a few days ago.
Time for him to check it out, and maybe leave her another little message. It was always a good strategy to keep one’s opponent reeling. Plus, if truth be told, he enjoyed the chase way more than the actual kill.
He followed the two for a few more blocks, keeping a distance far enough away that they wouldn't sense him. They were near the entrance to one of the better-known apartment buildings when they surged at vampire speed down an alley and he lost sight of them. No matter. They were likely close to the male's lair, and Connall was hunter enough to track them down.
But first, he had something to do at the other building.